Why the Black Snob Should Write for Chocolate News

The blog Black Snob is one of my daily must-reads. The blog host, Danielle Belton is a journalist and great writer. Her specialty is zippy satire which she is very good at. I know when I read her posts to not have any liquids near my laptop because I’ll be laughing so heartily. Just this week she wrote a post about the Obama ring story (that turned out to be false) but darn it her puns bring the funny: 

They call Michelle Obama “the rock” of the Obama household. Now, if the internet is to be believed, she can finally wear Gibraltar on her finger. 

There is a level of precious metal higher than platinum? Does Jay-Z know about this? Or is it too hard to rhyme “rhodium” with something? What am I saying? It’s easy! I’m so rich I be rockin’ rhodiums the size of podiums! At more than seven grand an ounce, its got ’em amazed like Opium!

See! How can you not laugh? My personal fave is the series on Baby Z Jolie-Pitt as  a Spy Extraordinaire. That’s why I’m hereby putting it out here over the internets that the producers of that sad little political wannabe show starring David Allen Grier should snap her up pronto! Chocolate News touts itself as the Black version of a John Stewart or Stephen Colbert though so far it only resembles a less disastrous version of the Black woman-hating DL Idiot show that shall be remain unnamed. I’m dousing myself with holy water and chanting Phenomenal Woman as I write this.
Notice the title of this skit? Don’t you think David Alan Grier ought to take his own advice? This show is sooooo not funny but it could be if they actually hired some people who know the difference between writing something new and fresh instead of recycling jokes from the 90’s that don’t even apply. By hire I of course mean an actual contract including full inclusion in the Writer’s Guild – no loose change and non-union sweatshop style illegalities are allowed. (I’m talking to YOU Tyler Perry!). 
Of course I suspect the network may be looking to keep things at the ‘red-headed stepchild status’ and that Mr. Grier is just so glad to have a job again he’ll cork up if that’s what it takes. I don’t sense a great deal of pride or integrity from a lot of people or corporations nowadays.  After all Comedy Central had their genius in Dave Chappelle and he showed us all how much money does not matter to him by walking away from $50M. I bet he can sleep at night though – and he still has his soul intact. I rebuke thee Lucifer and no I’m not putting down Black people for any amount of money!
Viacom, the parent company of Comedy Central has a wonderful opportunity to redeem itself for the wreck that is BET. Black people can learn to take the high road, also known as the road less traveled and stop arguing semantics over why laughing at criminal-oriented activities is not uplifting or beneficial for us. Black male comedians can check the calendar and realize we’re approaching 2009 and stop looking back at 1972 for jokes about pimps, doing the dozens and other juvenile trivialities. Yes, we know Foxx and Pryor were great but if they were still around even they would’ve found new material by now!
Make some room for women for a change. In front of and behind the camera. Move beyond entertainment, get serious and start planning for real change. Obama can’t get your mind out of the gutter or away from victimhood. That’s on you. We have so much unused and wasted talent out there. We need to be grooming ‘our people’ to prepare them to take the reigns of these media corporations by stock ownership and nabbing that corner office. When are we going to move past point A to check out the rest of the alphabet?
P.S. Ms. Belton did not pay me for or suggest this endorsement. I don’t even know if she wants to work for Chocolate News. This was more a burst of inspiration with a side of spunk. I just think it’s high time we support each other in positive and forward moving endeavors and think outside the box.

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