Please note these are my observations of behavioral patterns from actions that have been revealed to the general public. I think the reading audience is savvy enough to understand that I do not know any celebrity I use as examples for these discussions. Whether it is in praise or criticism modern-day celebrities are akin to the “gods” of folklore on many levels and we can learn by their example.
Last week I discussed the ways some males who have not successfully been able to sustain a career or livelihood have taken the easy way out, using the gender parity advances fought for by feminism to entrap certain woman via children. They don’t limit themselves to celebrities as not all men have access to those women. It could be a college-educated woman or one with a more stable employment history who’d be permanently tied to a lesser-than (if not downright loser/DBR-type) through biology.
Despite the often whiny declarations by certain other loser-types about women being gold-diggers I contend the main culprits of duplicity are non-qualifying males. It is still a patriarchal society and the most successful ones require intact families. It is out of order behavior for males to rely on women as their meal tickets and main financial contributors.
If an alpha/dominant/wealthier woman decides she wants to flip the standard roles she must do so carefully. We have taken note of how women who adopt “masculine” traits have a harder time at sustaining long-term relationships (Madonna immediately comes to mind) and it may not be fair but requires a delicate balance and constant maintenance.
Before I get too far off topic for this post I want to discuss the transformation of two of the music industry’s biggest talents: Mary J. Blige and Jennifer Hudson.
Mary J. Blige
I’ve chronicled MJB’s recent charitable and social justice endeavors with the FFAWN and her PSA with NASA to encourage young girls (black girls esp.) to study STEM (science, math, etc). I wanted to remind the audience again of her work at uplifting an oft-maligned group.
MJB had a previous reputation of being difficult and an abuser of substances as well I believe. When she boldly declared No More Drama she meant it. Now she still dabbles with hip-hop and (c)rap recording artists but since that’s the genre she emerged from it goes with the territory. If you look at her transformation from hard-edged Ride Or Die chick via her 1st album to her now polished/softer image and more upbeat songs she has made a complete 360.
She’s married and a step-mother as well. Some gossip bloggers have referred to her husband Kendu Isaacs as Ken-don’t so one can only speculate if the relationship moves through general ups and downs or is indicative of something more serious. Either way MJB has and may continue with other personal changes to place herself in the most favorable position to partner with other prominent/dominant males if she so chooses.
She is a rock star who re-recorded U2’s song “One” with the band at their request –
We all know Jennifer Hudson’s story of the career achievement she’s amassed despite being infamously dismissed by Simon Cowell during her run on American Idol. We know of her triumph at winning an Oscar for her first film role. I enjoyed her portrayal in The Secret Life of Bees as well. We also know of the horrible tragedy that befell her family for cuddling up to a psychopath.
She was always the underdog who was on the cusp of winning it all and though she’s younger and has a different background I’ve always felt as if she was down to earth and the average black girl could relate to her (for better or worse).
Whatever Ms. Hudson has going on career-wise she decided to take a giant leap forward personally by becoming an endorser for Weight Watchers and dropping excess weight. Of course she looks fantastic, but she was already pretty. It seems as if her journey was one of self-discovery versus beating herself up publicly.
Now, I’m using these two ladies as examples not because their lives are perfect, but because they’ve consciously made efforts at dealing with painful family histories and making better choices. I am aware JHud has a child and is not married to her son’s father. I of course question the caliber of a Harvard-educated guy who winds up on a VH1 reality dating show and whether he might just be one of those male gold-diggers I wrote about in last week’s post. He has had ample time to step up, so perhaps she does not need to be tethered to a potential leech indefinitely. If she wants to expand her social and dating circle she is certainly in a position to do so as well. Heidi Klum had her eldest child out of wedlock as well and still managed to marry Seal so anything is possible. Especially when JHud is Feeling Good (and looks like a dream).