Picking up from my post about women deploying common sense where men are concerned, let me also state emphatically that any woman who wants a man who’s considered good-looking across the spectrum of society should be able to have that. Relationships are not guaranteed. While it may be true it would be foolish to not consider all viable men, even one who was moderately attractive to mate with, since he can also mess up it would be a shame for a woman who chose such a man thinking the odds of a stable relationship would increase and have it not work out. IF we’re going to consider all scenarios then let’s seriously consider ALL scenarios.
This may seem like a contradiction of sorts but we must continually evaluate our choices and weigh our best options. Since nothing is set in stone I’d prefer to simultaneously discuss strategies for the collective of black women who want to expand their options while considering the needs of individual women. As always it’s your life so take all of this in the spirit of debate and make decisions that will work best for you.
Thanks to the lack of boundaries, common sense and wide interpretation of progress for women, many men have been able to enjoy the attentions of a much larger pool of higher-caliber women than they would have ever had access to before. So much so that it has become the norm. Sex and the City had an episode titled, “Modelizers” where average men’s standards were so skewed they expected and were able to exclusively date models.
This isn’t just about the choices black women make, though it is the focus at this forum. This is an issue across the dating world that all women are wrestling with. Many people do think of men as the “prize” now and that’s out of order for a functioning society as well. Since we know that males are visual and they want a “trophy” and we’ve also discussed why more BW need to lose weight (aside from health reasons) to attract higher-caliber men let’s not pretend there isn’t a superficiality that exists to this dating and mating process. While it may not be “fair” and that may be true and women have to use all the tools in their charm arsenal, let it not go without saying that women should not have to accept less than (some may call it being realistic or making smart choices or compromising in equity) just because it’s a patriarchal society either. There are plenty of average and “beta” (but still decent) guys on the scale of viable and available men (when compared to the achievers and over-achievers [alphas]) BUT that doesn’t mean they should get the “alpha women” and the striving to be alpha women majorly either.
Thus, I’d like to take this moment to applaud Janet Jackson for what appears to be a winning relationship with billionaire Wissam Al Mana. He’s about 10 years her junior, he’s very attractive and did I mention he’s a billionaire? He’s publicly claimed Janet no less when he was quoted:
I don’t date Janet Jackson. She is my girlfriend; there is a difference. She is a very special and talented woman who never ceases to amaze me.”
Meaning: This isn’t some celebrity photo-op attention garnering stunt. It’s the real deal. So back off and stop belittling our relationship.
I’d say this man is a keeper, certainly above some of the other men Ms. Jackson has been linked to like music producer Jermaine Dupri. Some people have labeled him a troll or a Keebler Elf and while it may not be nice to pick apart a celebrity’s paramour, people didn’t hesitate to rip Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Foster because of her skin shade. She’s quite striking in fact and had the scenario been reversed Dupri wouldn’t have had (black) male privilege to protect him from such viciousness.
Not to mention the fact that Dupri held an executive position at Janet’s former label Virgin and at Def Jam, whom she signed with after ending her relationship with the label founded by Sir Richard Branson (one of my business heroes). While her career was floundering because all of the releases during their relationship that he participated in tanked, he was still collecting a handsome sum that was directly tied to proximity to his ex-girlfriend. No one is going to convince me otherwise.
That’s why it’s so lovely to see Ms. Jackson with a man who doesn’t need anything from her other than herself. Of course we don’t know the inner workings of her relationship and I’m offering a mere speculative glimpse. There’s no career incentive or monetary gain at stake. Mr. Al Mana is his own man. She is part of a musical dynasty and a family that has had a once in a lifetime impact. She is very famous and very wealthy in her own right. She has not thus far seriously dated or married a man who was her equal by all indications. Whatever happens between them (rumors of an engagement have abounded recently) it has been nice to witness a man speak so eloquently about her.
I’m certain it must also be a relief to be with someone who can stand on their own and send a private jet at her disposal for a change. Go ‘head Janet! More black women need to be positioning themselves accordingly.
Since certain black males think they are entitled to the top 1% of whatever black woman is currently the “alpha” or most desirable simply because they breathe the same air, perhaps this relationship will serve as their reality check. Of course since women like Beyonce consistently choose from the bottom of the barrel, it’s no wonder their aspirations are validated. Lest anyone think (c)rap artist Jay-Z is a prize, I’ll remind the readers her husband is a drug-dealing, racio-misogynist woman-basher who has made his money destroying black communities and trashing black women (see the latest Kanye [another DBR fool] video for further proof of their woman-hating ways as the images of lifeless female forms swing from nooses. If you’re entertained by that sort of perversion you’ll be well-sated.
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