Who’s Getting It Right #2: Janet Jackson Chooses Wisely

Picking up from my post about women deploying common sense where men are concerned, let me also state emphatically that any woman who wants a man who’s considered good-looking across the spectrum of society should be able to have that. Relationships are not guaranteed. While it may be true it would be foolish to not consider all viable men, even one who was moderately attractive to mate with, since he can also mess up it would be a shame for a woman who chose such a man thinking the odds of a stable relationship would increase and have it not work out. IF we’re going to consider all scenarios then let’s seriously consider ALL scenarios.

This may seem like a contradiction of sorts but we must continually evaluate our choices and weigh our best options. Since nothing is set in stone I’d prefer to simultaneously discuss strategies for the collective of black women who want to expand their options while considering the needs of individual women. As always it’s your life so take all of this in the spirit of debate and make decisions that will work best for you.

Thanks to the lack of boundaries, common sense and wide interpretation of progress for women, many men have been able to enjoy the attentions of a much larger pool of higher-caliber women than they would have ever had access to before. So much so that it has become the norm. Sex and the City had an episode titled, “Modelizers” where average men’s standards were so skewed they expected and were able to exclusively date models.

This isn’t just about the choices black women make, though it is the focus at this forum. This is an issue across the dating world that all women are wrestling with. Many people do think of men as the “prize” now and that’s out of order for a functioning society as well. Since we know that males are visual and they want a “trophy” and we’ve also discussed why more BW need to lose weight (aside from health reasons) to attract higher-caliber men let’s not pretend there isn’t a superficiality that exists to this dating and mating process. While it may not be “fair” and that may be true and women have to use all the tools in their charm arsenal, let it not go without saying that women should not have to accept less than (some may call it being realistic or making smart choices or compromising in equity) just because it’s a patriarchal society either. There are plenty of average and “beta” (but still decent) guys on the scale of viable and available men (when compared to the achievers and over-achievers [alphas]) BUT that doesn’t mean they should get the “alpha women” and the striving to be alpha women majorly either.

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Thus, I’d like to take this moment to applaud Janet Jackson for what appears to be a winning relationship with billionaire Wissam Al Mana. He’s about 10 years her junior, he’s very attractive and did I mention he’s a billionaire? He’s publicly claimed Janet no less when he was quoted:

I don’t date Janet Jackson. She is my girlfriend; there is a difference. She is a very special and talented woman who never ceases to amaze me.”

Meaning: This isn’t some celebrity photo-op attention garnering stunt. It’s the real deal. So back off and stop belittling our relationship.

I’d say this man is a keeper, certainly above some of the other men Ms. Jackson has been linked to like music producer Jermaine Dupri. Some people have labeled him a troll or a Keebler Elf and while it may not be nice to pick apart a celebrity’s paramour, people didn’t hesitate to rip Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Foster because of her skin shade. She’s quite striking in fact and had the scenario been reversed Dupri wouldn’t have had (black) male privilege to protect him from such viciousness.

Not to mention the fact that Dupri held an executive position at Janet’s former label Virgin and at Def Jam, whom she signed with after ending her relationship with the label founded by Sir Richard Branson (one of my business heroes). While her career was floundering because all of the releases during their relationship that he participated in tanked, he was still collecting a handsome sum that was directly tied to proximity to his ex-girlfriend. No one is going to convince me otherwise.

That’s why it’s so lovely to see Ms. Jackson with a man who doesn’t need anything from her other than herself. Of course we don’t know the inner workings of her relationship and I’m offering a mere speculative glimpse. There’s no career incentive or monetary gain at stake. Mr. Al Mana is his own man. She is part of a musical dynasty and a family that has had a once in a lifetime impact. She is very famous and very wealthy in her own right. She has not thus far seriously dated or married a man who was her equal by all indications. Whatever happens between them (rumors of an engagement have abounded recently) it has been nice to witness a man speak so eloquently about her.

I’m certain it must also be a relief to be with someone who can stand on their own and send a private jet at her disposal for a change. Go ‘head Janet! More black women need to be positioning themselves accordingly.

Since certain black males think they are entitled to the top 1% of whatever black woman is currently the “alpha” or most desirable simply because they breathe the same air, perhaps this relationship will serve as their reality check. Of course since women like Beyonce consistently choose from the bottom of the barrel, it’s no wonder their aspirations are validated. Lest anyone think (c)rap artist Jay-Z is a prize, I’ll remind the readers her husband is a drug-dealing, racio-misogynist woman-basher who has made his money destroying black communities and trashing black women (see the latest Kanye [another DBR fool] video for further proof of their woman-hating ways as the images of lifeless female forms swing from nooses. If you’re entertained by that sort of perversion you’ll be well-sated.

You might also enjoy reading:

Give Janet Jackson Her Due

Deploying A Little Negro Spirit: When White Artists Go Black

What We Can Learn About Love & Life From Famous Women

I Want To Talk About Something Else Other Than Power, Corruption & Lies

19 comments to Who’s Getting It Right #2: Janet Jackson Chooses Wisely

  • focusedpurpse

    Faith-

    the angst experienced by women across the american board is addressed quite well at this site:
    http://wwnh.wordpress.com/

    of course, when america has a cold, black americans have pneumonia. black women are experiencing what the gentleman blogger calls "bastardized patriarchy" in the worst way, since only blacks have managed to cast women in the role of providers/protectors/nurturers/atlas. Halima's latest post hits the bullseye by way of explanation.

    because of women's so called sexual liberation, men are now competing with women for sex. whatever else the woman brings to the table is also up for grabs. men dominate the whole situation because wives are afraid they will be left and single women are clamoring, yielding, and jumping through hoops because they indeed got it backwards…men are the prizes. when it is a natural fact that the women are the choosers. they are NOT the ones waiting to be chosen, when in their right and natural minds.

    great post. all things are coming together really clearly for me as i prepare for the next chapter of my life story. thank you for being a bold print page.

    • Faith

      Gah! That's one of my pending featured blogs! I'll leave the link intact but I have a post about that site coming up. Someone else has mentioned it as well so I think it's good that BW are already reading the site. Hopefully if we continue talking about these very important issues more will and make better choices.

  • I noticed too, Miss Glamtastic, you called it right —there are very few photos and/or attention on this union. It's nice when I see the few photos of them and I love the way he looks at her. I'm still getting over the shock that she was EVER with Dupri, Lord have mercy.

    Great post Faith!

  • lois

    Janet deserves to have some personal happiness. I did not know that little nobody had gotten a stripper pregnant. A stripper? Really?
    Finally, Janet has someone on her level and he seems to hold on tight to her hand. Good for you Janet. Yeah!!!!

  • politicsgurl

    "Go ‘head Janet!" Yes ma'am! :)

    Faith, I was particularly struck by your analysis in this post. Your statement, "[w]hile it may not be 'fair' and that may be true and women have to use all the tools in their charm arsenal, let it not go without saying that women should not have to accept less than…just because it’s a patriarchal society either", is powerful. I wish that I had further commentary, but I think that I'll have to let this marinate for a while.

  • yes ma'am!!! This part right here Faith --> "She has not thus far seriously dated or married a man who was her equal by all indications. Whatever happens between them (rumors of an engagement have abounded recently) it has been nice to witness a man speak so eloquently about her."

    When Janet was with Jermaine, whenever I'd see a pic of them I'd just wonder if he thanked his lucky stars every day that he pulled JANET JACKSON. I'm sure he got major props over that, while she ended up with infidelity. *SMH*

    I hate to say it, but IMO the Beyonces and other stories will drown out positioning lessons like this one. :-(

    • Faith

      I'm not expecting this analysis to get a lot of traction but am looking for it to make a dent in the minds of a few. Small steps that last are preferred to a big splash -- of controversy and vitriol. People know what time it is!

  • Out of the ballpark Faith!

  • Thank you for this! I love the fact that this relationship is low-profile (by celebrity standards) but we all know why. Janet isn't dating a BM, so no one is giving this a lot of press, like they did when she dated Jermaine Dupri. I know that Dupri (who's So So Def label was basically defunct by the time he and Janet got together) was trying to use Janet's celebrity to relaunch his career. I think he cared about her but it didn't hurt that she could help him out. It's great that her current beau is wealthy-we know for a fact that Janet doesn't have to support him or his career. AT. ALL. I hope that she continues to find happiness with Wissam.

    • Faith

      Janet wasted seven years with Dupri, stopped working with Jam & Lewis and saw her career tank. Now I don't know what happened between Jam & Lewis, if anything in particular other than her wanting a change, but her best records were created with them as producers, not Dupri. Also, having attended a music conferences they gave a keynote at they are very keen on the artist at the very least co-writing their own songs with them if not penning them entirely as they have more of that individual artist's perspective. I truly hope Janet is happy. Now if we can get her away from the clutches of Tyler Perry!

      • dee

        Jermaine Dupri got an Atlanta Stripper pregnant while she was morning over her Brothers death. She's such a class act she immediately left him.

  • Hodan

    I was so happy when I learned she moved on to a man better suited to her station in life. Even though I'm leery of Arab royals and their men, it seems he is a decent guy who made a mark on his own business wise. She is a good role model for many young black girls who think only the thug in today's hiphop is what a BW should aspire to.

    • Faith

      You know I specifically did not mention he was Arab to avoid anyone dropping in a bit of unnecessary vitriol. It should be noted that Muslims & Arabs have been locked in conflict with each other for quite some time, royal or not. So I’d be very careful about making such statements under the circumstances. As far as I know the behavior of males across the board can be questionable or unfavorable to women at any time. It’s what they are allowed to do and what they can get away with. No one group has any moral superiority over another. Someone could justifiably argue that Asian of African men are just as problematic when it comes to sexism. If the two of them could put aside their "labels", find common ground, mutual respect then so can we. All women should be treated like princesses: first by their dads and then by their significant others. If anything a reasonably attractive billionaire or even a troll who has that kind of money does not have to behave well to get women. His statement alone seems to indicate he is a higher-quality male. Janet may continue testing him to see how well he holds true and I hope things work out to her advantage.

      • Hodan

        as my comment states, its in reference to his royal background. As someone who knows Khalidji royals and their typical spoiled if not criminal ripping of public wealth, I'm often hesitant with them. Same goes with any elites from most developing economies. It would defeat the purpose as someone of African and Arab heritage to stereotype either. Besides, Arabs and Muslims are not synonymous with each other, most Muslims are Asians, Africans and White Europeans….the same way that 1/2 of the Arabs in the world are Christian.

        • Faith

          I'm not going to argue semantics with you. I don't care what his background is. There will be no stereotyping here at this blog! ANY man is prone to needing boundaries, especially if they are good-looking and wealthy. I speak from the extensive conversations I had with the boyfriends of some of my friends from neighboring Middle Eastern countries about certain conflicts they have with their "cousins". Look at Dupri's behavior and he's a troll! I care about his treatment of Janet inasmuch as highlighting what might be a very mutually beneficial relationship as an example. This is so more African American women specifically choose higher-quality men. Any warnings about behavior falls under the purview of VETTING and TESTING that specific man and his family.

  • […] No one wants to be the “grudge” secondary choice. Who knows…maybe he was a jerk as well, but the point is that Berry did not proudly claim her man the way Wissam Al Mana has with Janet Jackson as I highlighted in Who’s Getting It Right #2. […]