I admit to being captivated by this interview but I think a few things need to be made clear. This is obviously a very controlled discussion. I’d definitely label Bobby Brown a DBR black male but after one hour of hearing about all the bad things he did yesterday I’ve had enough. Whitney Houston CHOSE him. Time and time again. Year after year after year after year. There had to be a payoff in it. She had ALL of the resources and the exit door was wide open at any time. I’d like to hear about her acceptance of accountability for that. I’m not expecting any.
This is something that’s emblematic of many African-American women. We can discuss the factors and influences that oppress us but there has to be a point when we say “no more”. I wonder why holding on to religious totems or “acceptable” orientation or hanging on to an obvious no-quality man offers such a powerful incentive for self-immolation. This can apply to any woman from any class strata. Being alone is much better than being surrounded by people who tear you down or are bleeding you dry.
I think we need to have a conversation about how striking gutter balls – or striking out – in love (or career, friendships, etc) can have a lasting impact on us. It depends on where we are in our lives, what age these situations occur and our coping mechanisms. Our success in being able to shake things off and still operate from a position of strength can be severely compromised. Our desire to escape the pain, confusion and disappointment can serve as the impetus to our addiction and isolation. It may not be drugs that we turn to. It could be food. It could be television. I could be retreating from life. The vulnerability that we may feel that allows us to have compassion for others isn’t always reciprocated when we need it the most. Having strength in character doesn’t mean we don’t need a shoulder to lean on and sometimes there’s no one available or willing to provide that. Or they may take advantage of us. These types of situations can further aid our in descent even as we’re ultimately responsible. It can make things more challenging…not impossible…but definitely a situation that may cause us to be hesitant even as we’re making affirming life choices.