Whatever You “See” Is Your Reality!

I took a few days off the Interwebs but have spent more time on Twitter during the past three weeks than I have in months. I’m on flu-prevention alert given the weather changes, hence the evening post.

A few things have popped up of interest.

A white male Silicon Valley executive claims to not know of any black tech-trepeneurs and folks lose it. This is regarding yet another Black In America special. Last year Michael Arrington said equally inflammatory things about (white) women executives. Why give this one idiot any power in a world with more than 7 BILLION. Funny enough, there was a heated debate on Twitter calling him out by two executives of Indian descent. All of this controversy and yet nothing’s likely to change.

A few East Coast black folks decided to have their own convo about Blacks In Tech and again, I find myself recalling how I asked the tough questions about ownership vs. mindless consumerism 1.5 years ago. Why are folks still talking and not doing? Oh…they’re not being funded by whites like Arrington. Yet, they aren’t supporting each other either but that kills the downtrodden narrative.

There’s been some other blacks complaining about lack of representation with the nascent Occupy protests. And by black people I mean black males. This came up on my Twitter timeline because one self-identified multi-racial female blogger was disgusted by it and debating them.

Now, I have a few thoughts about that. To automatically dismiss the criticism belittles the larger point. Certain feminist orgs have asserted their own concerns about the lack of (white) women participating. This blogger wasn’t nearly as invested in being outraged with them though!

I have to say though, the response wasn’t about finding solutions but the black males in question displayed the usual entitlement issues in cheering on the suffering of whites by remarking they’d get to experience the short end of the stick. How does that resolve anything? I recognized the Twitter accounts of at least one of them. He had previously rejected any responsibility for his anti-black women misogyny.

You’d be surprised how some of the same people keep cropping up in various conversations. People have tunnel vision when it comes to their own self-interests!

If you haven’t been following, you may be unaware of the violent clashes between law enforcement and participants in Oakland, CA. There were also two reports of assaults on women amongst the protestors at two other locations. This is nothing close to what happened during the Jim Crow and Civil Rights era.

As a woman, you should have freedom of choice whether and how to participate, but caution is as always very necessary.

Another situation involves Essence magazine putting yet another black male on the cover who isn’t with a black woman. Before it was Reggie Bush. Now it’s Idris Elba. Remember, they’re not confused by their messaging they really hate you. I urged some of you a while back to just stop reading media that feeds you harmful, soul-killing messages, but seeing these convos about how ‘hurt’ you are about the dating choices of random black males should be a huge red flag.

You’re not getting your needs met. You’re looking in the wrong place. Your desires are God’s and the Universe’s way of telling you to have MORE, not less. There is no limit!  You are free to support what/whomever you choose, but what are you getting out of it? Does it EXPAND your life and ADD VALUE?

In addition, there is a multi-tiered propaganda initiative throwing roadblocks to trip you and keep you down. Clutch Magazine posted something telling you not to be upset because it doesn’t matter.

Well, don’t tell me not to react appropriately to being peed on! If you have to ask why someone’s upset you’re ignoring the specific and continuous anti-BW messaging that’s encouraging them to go against their interests in the first place.  Women look to be validated from the men they share a common race or ethnicity with. If you want to argue about preferences and freedom of choice look at the behavior of an actor like Robert DiNero. Whom he loves off the set has never stopped him from uplifting white women professionally and otherwise. You can’t say that about black males because whether it’s directed insults or indirect apathy the damage is done.

Black women are collectively spit on by black males. If you want specific examples pull up the archives. If you are supporting building the wealth and success of others and they don’t support you in kind (affirming you as a woman, creating opportunities, positive reinforcement) then you should not ignore it. This runs the gamut from ridicule to erasure — and it needs to be addressed.

Do you feel okay with that? I doubt it because I hear you lamenting the dearth of roles, the lack of validation. I hear how you ‘wish’ there was this or that in place. I hear about not being included. How projects are so expensive and difficult to pull off. I hear the fear in wanting…anything period except for an assigned or assumed status far beneath you.

I’m beginning to understand how we hold ourselves back “waiting on His blessings” and wanting to make sure it’s even okay to want anything of significance. WHY???

What are you waiting for? The light says GO. We’ve had Jesus and Civil Rights clearing the path. We’re so busy testing the water, looking over our shoulders and waiting for the shoe to drop, we help the naysayers. We see what may be an actual speed bump but mistake it for a brick wall.

STOP waiting for somebody else to create projects and do affirming things. Stop throwing away your hearts, minds and resources. Don’t be mad — walk away for your own peace of mind. I see more of you waking up because you’re tired of being kicked in your “slumber”. This is why so many are watching, talking about black love or how there’s something wrong with you. You’re their meal ticket, but this has already been pointed out to you.

Many of you continue to turn away. Your “black” identity is one of lack. You need to “put up or shut up”! I’ve done my part. It’s your turn! Your discontent is a sign of your future greatness in whatever endeavor you choose. It won’t even take you a lifetime to build it!

When you have someone like Kim Kardashian earning $17M from what was likely a fake reality tv relationship for profit that you support, it’s time to evaluate your priorities. Go ahead and keep supporting these black male celebrities or politicians  if you choose, but don’t get mad if the only example of a “good”one is nearing retirement age because the other examples are those who selectively abuse or ignore visibly black women. Or create genetically modified white children he leaves his fortune to.

You may as well continue hoisting them into fame and riches right into the arms of a woman who looks nothing like you and isn’t invested in uplifting you either, but don’t expect rocks to turn into bricks of gold. What you pay attention to, nurture and support grows.

Are you building your own movement and seeking out non-hostile partners? God is waiting on YOU to receive blessings from the Universe, but you’ve got it backwards imagining you still need permission.


Let go of your Flat Earth theories. You need to take action. You don’t need to know who, what where and how. Just do it. Focus on what you want and watch it unfold. I just wonder how many of you actually want to win.

4 Replies to “Whatever You “See” Is Your Reality!”

  1. You always seem to come through at a time when I need reinforcement while I'm paving that new path. Message heeded. Onward and upward!

    Thank you as always Faith!

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