I’ve been spending a little less time on social networking sites and more scouring the internet. One was becoming too insular as I’ve noticed a cycle of repeated conversations and observations. I used to simply add to my network but the increase in volume didn’t necessarily produce the shift or quality I was looking for.
In our conversations at this and other BWE forums there’s an increased urgency. It’s not as if we discuss posts beforehand but I have been witnessing a synchronization of thoughts that are leading some of us to similar conclusions. We do not agree on every point but the totality that lends to wanting to impose a sense of urgency amongst certain black women (as it applies) to be prepared is present.
When we’ve discussed life outside the Matrix I am certain it is such a foreign concept for many they may not ever believe. I thought I’d try a different tactic and this also serves to be a bit of fun for others as well. Our thoughts guide our actions. Our actions tested and refined lead to change. Until then it’s all a theory I suppose, but real life with all its consequences still occurs.
Poor choices lead down the road to despair. Opportunities left are lost. Coming into our own as women of the world is not only possible, but happening right now for many black women.
It’s all about choice.
You can stay in your box, on your block, in your neighborhood and see the world through half-closed lids or you can go through life eyes wide open. I have readers from all corners of the globe and am very grateful we have found each other. Some of the locales that have popped up include Olofström, Blekinge Lan Jönköping, Jonkopings Lan, Cracow, Malopolskie and Helsinki, Finland.
Many women have already integrated into the larger global village and haven’t looked back. They didn’t ask permission. They have the most mundane (read that as “boring”) lives. They have breakfast, they work, they drop their kids off at school, they have a serious other or husband, they go to the market and they complete many other tasks throughout the week.
If it’s so boring, why did I mention it?
These women (and one man) happen to be living abroad.
They have travel-related blogs where they discuss the size of their temporary apartments or the weather or recovering from a cold or buying a bottle of wine and they take lots of pictures.
So for some women who cannot possibly imagine a life without strife, perhaps it’s time you immersed yourself in someone else’s. It’s really the only way to gain clarity and a new perspective. Perhaps this will be your “Aha” moment and will click for you in ways that you won’t resist.
I wish the need for BWE messaging was resolved in our favor!! While it may be true that black women from previous generations talked about our mistreatment (from Zora to bell to Pearl to Alice to Toni to Ntozake) nothing was done about it on a mass scale. The compromise (putting race first and the whims of black males) made it possible for the increased brutality, denigration and indoctrination to take up permanent residency in the minds of black women today and in particular African-American women who would rather self-destruct that save themselves.
The resolution and strict adaptation of BWE principles (not just lip-service) would mean a majority of black women had begun serving their own interests and dismantled their indoctrination. No more gas-lighting! We’d be out of the Matrix, defeated the Agent Smiths/Zombies and started the next generation in the rebuilt Zion. It would mean we could see the tangible results of more women living well. Women would be in better shape (weight loss & healthier eating), mentally sharp, better rested (no more mule duty), comfortable around white males (no self-segregating or Sista Soldiering) AND engaged in various social circles, the interracial marriage rate for black women would quadruple (nipped the hegemony arguments in the bud), there’d be an overall return to femininity because BW would be safe to let down their guards (out of the black residential cesspools and removed from those with a gutter mentality) and there’d be men in their lives to provide, protect, problem-solve and produce. We’d be thinking critically, strategically and create and enforce standards.
What Life Is Like On The Other Side (For Some)
I’ve been perusing some blogs that have a little bit of everything. Travel, slice of life, fashion, relationships, kids, introspection, food and most importantly LOVE. Some of these blogs are hosted by black women. Most of whom are Canadian. There must be something in the water over there because they seem to have a weaker strain of the indoctrination disease so rampant here in the United States. Say this out loud: “This could be my life.” Repeat three times. Not that your life isn’t fine..but if you still don’t think this doesn’t seem at least a little bit fun after reading you are a stick in the mud! Take notes and learn something I say. You’ll spot the commonalities if you’re paying attention.
Wife Bride Life – I love her ability to rebound from life’s unexpected turns. She was living in Scotland and has recently returned to Canada with husband in tow.
Kiki in Switzerland – Spunky lady living with her hubby amongst the Swiss. I’m so curious how she maintains her hair (random..but her hair looks fab so it’s a valid question, lol).
Black and (A)broad – Very well-educated, attractive “typically” black woman moves to the Netherlands. She offers a peek at how she dismantled non productive ideologies to fashion a great life for herself. I think many of us could learn something from this. She has a book (haven’t read it yet) that I think is worth checking out about the journey that led to her current expat life.
Lovely Awkward – She moved to France to be with a guy 9 days after meeting. Yes she did! That was a calculated risk, perhaps even a bit “crazy” [very daring with no control over the outcome but with potential great reward] and totally something I would do. I won’t give away any more details…but you will smile.
I’m Leaving On A Bicycle — Life is like a box of chocolates. I remember trying to figure out who I was in my 20’s. So glad to never have to revisit that time! Psst…I highly recommend Evia’s Vetting Men series.
Oneika The Traveller – **Girl crush alert**. She’s a teacher living in Hong Kong but has traveled to a zillion countries. I bet she can hold a conversation on a variety of subjects in all the languages. She smiles in her photos a lot and her personality leaps off the page! Reading her blog is like eating a bowl of soup on a cold day. Warm and nourishing. Happiness abounds and spreads.
NYC/Caribbean Ragazza – Very serious screenwriter who “escaped” Hollywood and moved to Rome. She takes excellent photos. She did a post about going to the egg market and I was sooo jealous. I remember how great really good eggs taste. Night and day compared to what you find in the supermarket. One of her movies is coming out in May.
David Lebovitz – French wine and cheese for days from an amazing pastry chef. I want a man who can cook! Mouthwatering photos. Chocolate. Paris! I die!
Tonya In Transition – Another Cannuck living well. She tells some really funny stories about things she and her brothers did growing up.
(Update) One of our very own regulars ph2072 also has an Ex-Pat blog, Spinster’s Compass (not a self-fulfilling prophesy though!). She got outta Dodge last year.
Black Girl In Prague wrote a nice post about timing and factors in considering a move abroad when it’s for lurve…
I personally know one woman who could leave to teach abroad as she was very interested in the Finnish education system..but she won’t. I also suggested another apply for grad school in Norway. She actually found a very specialized program that her background is a near perfect match for. She complained about the 12-page application. What can you do when others don’t have a vision for themselves?
If you believe you can achieve. So hop to it!!