Valentine Aspirations And Fulfillment

Wishing all of you lovelies a Happy Valentine’s Day for tomorrow!! I was considering posting about gifts and edibles, but then I saw a copy of Paul Newman’s letter to his second wife Joanne Woodward on their wedding day. They were married fifty years until his passing in 2008 at the age of 83.

Here’s an excerpt:

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

Someone was also reading one of my archived posts from April 2009 where a guy tells women how to better navigate relationships and watch their behavior.

Here’s an excerpt from Ladies Get It From The Horses Mouth.

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle.

Compare that to one amazing love letter. It helps us to have good examples to compare, so we know what to aspire to or what to maintain. I saw a documentary on long-term married couples (one set were the grandparents of the filmmaker) a few months ago that brought a huge cheer from the mostly under-35 crowd who attended the screening. We all say we want love, but need to apply wisdom and be open to receiving (advice, a new perspective, etc). Those who make good choices and remain committed experienced enriched lives. We see what happens to women who don’t. I’m thinking about countless unknown women as well as Whitney Houston in particular right now. The ramifications are too great to limit yourself in any way. Please learn from it.

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

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4 comments to Valentine Aspirations And Fulfillment

  • foreverloyal

    Beautiful post, Faith.

    Happy Valentine's Day, ladies.
    Love yourself first
    Forgive yourself your mistakes
    Don't berate yourself for flaws, real or perceived
    Don't lament the time you have wasted
    Love yourself today and resolve to treat yourself as someone to be cherished:
    give yourself the best food
    the best friendships
    time to rest
    hobbies and habits that bring you joy.

  • Faith

    I think there are PLENTY of men who have these values! Although it might be a generational thing where more men were trained to think this way, it's harder to attract what you want when you don't know what you're looking for. That's why these posts will produce the necessary mental and visioning shift if applied. Thanks Shermy!

  • Shermy

    This is one of THE most inspiring letters I've ever read on the meaning of marriage. And that fact that it was pinned by a man makes it even more inpsiring. You don't hear it enough from the men on how love can enrich their lives and what they think it takes to make things work. This has become my new standard. I agree with him wholeheartedly and my Valentine's day hope is to find someone who also holds the same view. Thanks for sharing this Faith!!!