Audience Note: I’ve changed the name of the series after realizing I’d inadvertently used the same title first employed by another BWE blogger. Since this originally expanded from analyzing why some women were misunderstanding and misusing terms and strategies for dating alpha males it’s important to me to make that distinction. My bad! I don’t think anyone has noticed, but we do put so much thought into our conversations (and may share some of the same readers) I want to respect the work that goes into it. To meet the needs of ALL women I want us to continue exploring the ways we seek and build relationships with men socially and professionally as well as romantically.
First of all, it would be better for you as a young girl and woman developing mentally, physically and emotionally to HOLD OFF on any sexual activity…but I realize that may be too late for many of you. Nor is that a necessarily popular stance to propose because we’re all so modern, advanced and “free”. Freedom costs…a lot by the way.
This is not about judgment or restricting a girl’s right to exploration, but an analysis of benefits/disadvantages that every young woman ought to consider should things not go the way she hopes. Or before she’s had to chance to figure out what she really wants. Of course it’s best if no one knows your level of “experience” regardless — not even your girlfriends because people are not always discreet. The series also tends to focus more on your “average” girl or guy from Western society with added emphasis in how black girls/women can utilize situations to their advantage.
So far, my Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series has been about grown folks over the age of say 21 who may have already had certain experiences. This is about checking yourself while on the path to love (not to get derailed into baby momma-ville and settling for moldy crumbs), normal human bonding and a course redirection/correction when necessary. It is to help you refine or reclaim goals. It’s never too late to make positive changes in your life.
What about those younger girls who haven’t even been kissed yet? Who’ve been told it’s normal to offer oral sex to a boy they like? Who are having pictures taken and passed around without their knowledge or consent that may be embarrassing or compromising? I know I have some young readers (or those who are in support of them) so I want to address you and your needs specifically.