Reciprocity 101

True empowerment requires a commitment to self, authenticity and being responsible for the people, places and practices you support. No one does anything for you that you won’t do for yourself. Don’t leave the heavy lifting only to others in situations where you’ve benefited from the actions of others. Don’t keep vital information to yourself.

Correctly identifying allies and opportunities is key.

In case you want to trip down memory lane, watch Miss Jackson after the jump.

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Smart Black Women Will Craft Their Own Asian Woman Marriage Playbook

Girlfriend get your BA or JD, MD, PhD or MDiv AND your MRS!

Congrats to Priscilla Chan, aka Dr. Chan aka Mrs. Zuckerberg!

She’s every woman….meaning her potential is your potential however that manifests itself. This isn’t about chasing after a life partner but ATTRACTING those who will love and support you best! Sure, you can do it on your own…but why should you have to? Sometimes, it takes more STRENGTH to be vulnerable than live with false bravado.

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Do You Enjoy Being A “Girl”?

Reading Melina’s work on deploying womanly arts has truly transformed my life. My journey began with her blog, “The Art Of Being Feminine” and continues with her premium site “Feminissima“. To say it was an eye-opener is an understatement. Where some women may be offended (???), I see the promise of a return to what makes us unique and powerful. It takes confidence to rely on our instincts and not let societal pressures, external agendas or inner doubts override what we know to be inherently true about ourselves.

Black women in particular have been maligned or bought into a distorted outlook of themselves. We need to stop being martyrs and fulfill our destinies. Every woman as an individual has her own particular set of strengths she should become familiar with and utilize.

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Note To Hipster Misogynists: Time To Put Your Big Girl Panties On!

Regular readers of this forum know I do not pull any punches calling out racism, sexism and self-culpability in order for women and girls to make sound choices for better living. While I have focused on what I’d term triage/emergency room life-sustaining measures related to black women, I have always been an advocate for ALL WOMEN of every orientation, race, ethnicity and identity.

My post A Male Chauvinist Pig By Any Other Name Still Oinks! as part of the Evaluating Men For Alliances and Marriage series is just one part of that overall initiative. Women need knowledge – both external dealing with current social trends and internal to affirm what their values are and how to navigate their way through life successfully.

Perhaps I should have titled it How Pigs SQUEAL instead.

Since much of my focus has been on the long-term ramifications of the demise of the black community and the way black males have mistreated black women as a collective, I think some people forget there are individuals who are both helpful and harmful to women based on their behavior and standards.

Just as I know black males who are decent and upstanding, I can also evaluate the poor treatment of black and non-black women alike by white males and non-white males who are not black. Are you still following me?

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AOFB Mid-Year Review

It’s already June! I was going to write a quarterly review in April. 30 posts later, I guess I missed the boat! Busy. Busy. Busy.

This was going to be a more extensive post….but I realized some of the things I wanted to talk about: namely weight and self-esteem and being realistic deserves its own separate post. Then, I realized I have already discussed many of these points before, so this might be yet another angle to an ongoing conversation…or beating a dead horse.

I suppose the lurkers who de-cloak from the Romulan Bird-Of-Prey to comment will decide if it’s protest-worthy.

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Why Is Thinking About Your Needs First Still So Difficult For Black Women?

Perhaps, I should ask why putting yourself FIRST is such an anomaly for some black women who are reading BWE-related blogs? Do those readers ever notice they have failed to apply the basic principles in utilizing their free agency by not being concerned about what other people (be it black males or white women) are doing unless it is negatively impacting their lives?

You’d think women would be far too busy applying their Charm Offensive, Evaluating Men For Alliances and Marriage and continuing their education in the school of life by thinking and acting GLOBALLY. Instead, I keep seeing the same exact conversations resulting from the various straw-man arguments put forth by many women.  It begs the question what some of ya’ll are doing?

You don’t have any time to waste!

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Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #8: The Curious Case Of A Real-Life “Good Wife” Maria Shriver

Ah…so many lessons can be learned by studying the choices of others – particularly women of privilege who are purported to “have it all”.

A story loosely based on the Schwarzenegger marriage may likely be a Lifetime Movie Of The Week that will air this Fall. I’d bet money on it! Hey ya’ll, just a few thoughts are going to be dispensed rapid-fire style so saddle up! The public revelation of the long-term infidelity and betrayal of Arnold Schwarzenegger that has finally culminated in the break-up of his marriage to Maria Shriver should not have come as a surprise to anyone paying attention. If you lived in California during the time of his and the Republican’s “Total Recall” election sham that ousted Governor Gray Davis you would have noted the allegations of his long-history of cheating and sexual aggression enacted against other women.

I applaud those who managed to keep this bombshell a secret FOR TEN YEARS though {HOW!!!} – he never would’ve been elected had the public gotten wind of it!! I know Newt Gingrich is planning a run for the White House and I laugh! If some people want to vote for a serial cheater who has been married multiple times and abandoned his former wives when ill – while espousing family values, I’ll call a FOOL a FOOL. From a political standpoint the Ah-nuld debacle is even more frightening than most have still processed because some of those political yahoos were talking about amending the Constitution to allow a foreign-origin President – him! Those are some powerful allies at work who wanted to deploy a Trojan Horse scenario. Look at the condition of California post- Ah-nuld. Not all of it has to do with the economy, but of course many aspects that have damaged this country are a direct result of policies enacted by (and in collusion with Democrats) Republicans.


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abundance is where women who don’t want to wallow in powerlessness go to create a better life

I’m having a poetic epiphany!

Between Questlove, Russell Simmons, Ashley Judd and now Lisa Price of Carol’s Daughter ganging up on black women, denying our heritage, telling us the only blacks are men and all the women are white, it seems the usual denigration has been kicked up a notch while they’re kicking us in the teeth.

You do realize this means we are “winning”, right?

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Congrats To New Blog Host TRUTHP For Answering The Call

Welcome C’elle Blossom to the interwebs!!!!

Here’s an excerpt:

On Wednesday Charles Epps Jr. stood in front of a dozen pastors to address the 1 million dollars per year that the [NJ school] district spends on school police. It was at this meeting that Mr. Epps was quoted as saying “Our worst enemy is the young [black] ladies,” Epps said. “The young girls are bad. I don’t know what they’re drinking today, but they’re bad. He also said they were “the communities worst enemy”.

She’s discussing the standard DBR antics from yet another…..DBR gremlin. Be he a rapper, preacher, politician, baker, candle-stick maker…. you know the drill. Racism only happens to black males and everything else is “our” fault. YAWN. It’s more blame the victim/obfuscation misdirection dancing.

I want to remind the audience the best course of action isn’t to “fight” but to live better, more vibrant lives. There should be no Mammy, Martyr, Direct Combat, Sister Soldier activity going on. No calling for government programs to replace misuse of common sense and [failed] attempts at making up for the acceptance of the mass abandonment of black children by black males. No more resigned apathy about the HIV/OOW/Obese/Never-Married rates either. Expect MORE, stop FEEDING your leeches and move on into the Promised Land. It’s been there this entire time unoccupied — waiting for YOU!

We are LADIESBattles are for MEN. Get out and away!!!!

Still, this is a great start for a new blogger. The core BWE messengers offering an authentic voice and course of action for “full options” will not be around foreverMore of you need to get off the fence. I commend TruthP for stepping up.

Her motto:

I have a strong desire to see black girls and women thrive in all facets of life. Hence the name “We-Thrive”.  I deeply care about social justice for black women and girls.

Self-care is Rule #1 though –but you all know that from reading these forums. Let’s send TruthP some cyber love!


Just A Reminder Of Where Things Stand/Notes From The Archives

How Black Women Went From Being ENSLAVED By White Men To Black Men In Less Than 50 Years

Interracial Dating Options Vs. Doomsday Marriage Prospects for Black Women