Broke Bums Ain’t Cute

I want to use a few examples from recent media chatter to discuss the perils of women giving men passes for EVERYTHING!!! Men do NOT settle! Men go after jobs and partners they don’t deserve and are unqualified for ALL THE TIME. Extreme social conditioning amongst dysfunctional blacks browbeat black women into accepting crumbs and thinking it’s a meal. Enough!

Brookings Institution study on black women marrying down [they’re mostly focused on black male partners].

There is a growing trend in the United States towards assortative mating — a clunky phrase that refers to people’s tendency to choose spouses with similar educational attainment.

A media storm erupted in the Spring of 2013 when a Princeton alum, Susan A. Patton, president of the class of ‘77, offered the following advice to female students: “Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate.” Writing in The Daily Princetonian, Patton went on: “You will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.”

One implication of assortative mating is greater household income inequality, since education is a strong — and strengthening — predictor of earnings. Households with two college graduates multiply that earnings power by two and are doing much better than households with less-educated couples.

Race is a factor in patterns of assortative mating. Black women face more difficult “marriage markets” than white women, given current rates of intermarriage according to work from University of Maryland sociologist Philip N. Cohen. Black women have the lowest rates of “marrying out” across race lines, in part because of racist attitudes [My reply: it’s the result of strict social conditioning amongst African Americans in particular] to inter-marriage.

One of the reasons I skip over a lot of these black people gossip story items is because people almost always are acting foolishly. I saw on my feeds that actress Tia Mowry-Hardrict had posted some “stay away from my man” nonsense to actress Keke Palmer ON TWITTER of all places and then deleted it. Palmer recently completed a project with Tia’s husband, actor Cory Hardrict.

Here’s Keke’s interview on Wendy Williams were she discusses her career, current project and clarifies the matter. She’s very bubbly and friendly, though likely nervous because she was talking fast at elevated levels.


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Before You Know It 2015 Will Be Here. Make 2014 Count!


Google Doodle

Hello Everyone. I’m still taking a mini-break (although you can go to the blog’s Facebook and Twitter accounts for real-time updates). I will share why I half-forced myself to step away for a breather after 6 years of non-stop posts when I resume the new schedule. It is a good thing to reflect and recharge and – relax when you are juggling multiple responsibilities all at once.

I will quickly add that I want everyone to think about where they want to be in approximately one year. While there’s no guarantee of being there and leaving room to change one’s mind is always wise, we can map out a rough draft of monthly steps we can take to at least hit the ball in the arena. Just start by thinking about what you want. You don’t have to have the answers when correctly identifying what makes you tick eludes many people to begin with. Let’s do this!

Twelve Steps To Progress

  • Month 1 – Month 12

  • Quarterly Updates and Pivot

  • Month Six Redefine and Zone In

  • Final Quarter Home Stretch and Prep

David Bowie & Iman: Is This Love Or What?

Let’s all come together for a collective “aww shucks” because after two decades of wedded bliss, Mr. and Mrs. Jones seem to still be going strong. The examples of their shared values and similar goals are key for a relationship to thrive.

David Bowie and Iman | Mr. and Mrs. Jones

They met on October 1990 on a blind date set up by a mutual friend, Teddy Antolin, who was also their hairdresser.

Bowie fell in love with her at first sight: 

“I was naming the children the night we met … it was absolutely immediate.” However, Iman was reluctant to a date a rock star. In an interview she shared, “I did not want to get involved with a rock star. No way. It is not a sane thing to do, but David changed my mind. He wooed me.” 

“I remember once we went out to dinner and the laces on my trainers came undone, and David was down on his knees in the middle of the street, tying them for me. I thought to myself, ‘This one’s a keeper.’”

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On Gag Reflexes And Swallowing Fear

Pineapples! via Napua Weddings


I was going to include this in my weekly breakdown post, but realized it was going to be longer than a few sentences. I’ve bumped it up to post level.

I tried to stifle a groan and move on, but there’s been a dozen articles in response to some idiot taking up space at WaPo with an OpEd column who claims to speak for the GOP:

People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio’s wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn’t look like their country at all.

I laughed, not because I think it’s funny, but because Richard Cohen is ridiculous and now because so many people have written responses to one little blurb, this guy is getting the most attention of his career. For the record, he has clarified he likes interracial couples and LGBT folks. White people with black friends can never be racist, afterall! And I’m sorry to add to it, but there’s a bigger point to be made. He speaks the truth according to how some people in this country think – whether they’re in the GOP or not. Whether they’re white or not. Whether they’re women or men. And they can all #haveaseat as the kids say.

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When We Talk About Creating Business Models For Ourselves….

I just want to piggyback off a recent post by Khadija over at Muslim Bushido,  African-American Slave Consumers’ Addiction to “Business As Usual” Vs. Escape Velocity.

Speaking only for myself, I make very conscious choices for what I media I consume and whom I give support to. I’ve put my neck on the line publicly in promoting black women free agency and addressing gross imbalances. I don’t have to agree with every aspect of a characterization of a tv show if I see significant areas where there’s sustainable growth (and a shift in the plot). I will say that blind consumption of anything and everything with minimal initiative in creating an industry of one’s own is a problem. To that end, I’m continually working at generating new resources and hope to connect with like-minded people, building alliances.

Nothing is stagnant and there’s always room to create opportunities.

Continue reading “When We Talk About Creating Business Models For Ourselves….”

How To Get Fit & Meet More Posh People: Learn To Be A Coxswain!

That’s rowing jargon. Instead of using a simulated exercise gizmo, do the real thing. On the water. In a boat. Check out your local rowing club and join a class for beginner lessons.  Of course you might want to have some minimal swimming skills just in case. And you will socialize and mingle with the yacht crowd.  Sure, that’s a generalization, but it’s not too far off the mark.  And we’re all about keeping it really real here, you know……

Watch Tina Turner Discuss The Importance Of MARRIAGE, Her Career And Ambitions In Love and Life

This Tina Turner interview opens with a discussion about WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS. She mentions the legal and emotional benefits of why she tied the knot with her long-time love and letting go of the funk from her first marriage. VERY TELLING!!! Money, career, status, security, preparing for her golden years, not having to “worry” about anything, taking care of her children and knowing she can give back.  Everything a happy woman wants to be fulfilled. This is a must see conversation with many pearls of wisdom stated. Watch…and learn.

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Dustin Hoffman Reflects On Insights Gained From Playing A Woman

Namely, how much perceived beauty is a serious advantage. Hoffman reflects during an interview with the American Film Institute on his now iconic role in Tootsie. He also discusses the “interesting” women he personally passed on getting to know better (smh).  Live and learn, right?

The lesson I see here is:

a)  While not every woman will want to appeal to, or pull interest from various men –

b)  We can still exercise our option to do so (on more favorabe terms) by employing our Charm Offensive.

c) We can do this while pursuing education, building skills, finding a mate and moving through the world.

It benefits any woman to place herself amongst those who can provide for and support her dreams, ambitions and life gooals!

Alrighty, I Could Have Posted This Yesterday

I logged offline a bit and see some people are still – and will forever be – focused on causes, plights, fights and drama that should never cross their mental thresholds. It’s interesting to have had enough distance from looking at the world a certain way to see what folly people engage in who are the least prepared to protect themselves in case of fall-out. I’ve also observed my own threshold crossing with letting go and trusting in the Source that won’t guarantee a problem-free life, but one where I won’t have to feel as if I’m literally and figuratively carrying an extra 1,000 lb anvil. Because, you know…we can’t!

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