I missed Tedx talk when pioneering black beauty blogger Afrobella first spoke. Lately, I’ve been inspired to do a complete overhaul of my wardrobe. I have to take a moment to recognize the joys and pitfalls of online shopping when you can’t find styles that suit your tastes. The same can be said for online dating! I’ve also been feeling frustrated by what I see when I look in the mirror because I want photo-shopped perfection. I had lost a good amount of weight three years ago by severely restricting my caloric intake and only eating certain foods. When I hit a plateau, the scale would not budge and my narrow lane of food intake rebelled against my foodie-loving tendencies. Lifestyle choices take time, so I’ve had to readjust my expectations and call a truce with myself even while eyeing a goal.
I’m the type of person who falls into an over-analyzing abyss and has to silence a harsh inner critic. I’ve recently experienced a break-through in terms of my outlook. While, it is true we need to be healthier and keep ourselves in proportion, telling yourself everything about your existence is “wrong” until you achieve certain goals is not the way to be “right”. The journey is just that…a journey. Not a sprint. Not a click your heels and throw some pixie dust jaunt without taking that mile-long trip to discovering you.
Continue reading “In Honor Of New York And London Fashion Week: Recognizing & Affirming Our Beauty”
Hello Everyone. I’m still taking a mini-break (although you can go to the blog’s Facebook and Twitter accounts for real-time updates). I will share why I half-forced myself to step away for a breather after 6 years of non-stop posts when I resume the new schedule. It is a good thing to reflect and recharge and – relax when you are juggling multiple responsibilities all at once.
I will quickly add that I want everyone to think about where they want to be in approximately one year. While there’s no guarantee of being there and leaving room to change one’s mind is always wise, we can map out a rough draft of monthly steps we can take to at least hit the ball in the arena. Just start by thinking about what you want. You don’t have to have the answers when correctly identifying what makes you tick eludes many people to begin with. Let’s do this!
Twelve Steps To Progress
Month 1 – Month 12
Quarterly Updates and Pivot
Month Six Redefine and Zone In
Final Quarter Home Stretch and Prep
Thank you to the awesome women who’ve connected via social media. So many reached out to offer kind words, encouragement and practical solutions when I wrote about an issue I’m trying to resolve.
On a separate (but cohesive) note, I’ve been exploring the connection between Mind/Body/Spirit but haven’t quite come to terms with what being “positive” really means (as opposed to magical thinking and shirking responsibility), how to create an effective and satisfactory spiritual practice and what I’ll call “Life Accessibility” to achieve a measurable happiness threshold.
Continue reading “The Process Of Building Faith, Hope, Love & Trust”
“Freedom is: No Fear!”
This might be pensive for those getting the a.m. feed, so watch it later when you can grab a quiet moment. You gotta admire songsmiths like Nina Simone, in one of her rare poignant moments on stage – after commanding respect of course!
We do each have our own stories.
What do you show the world?
Continue reading “Womanly Words Of Wisdom: Nina Simone”
For those of you still holding out with hope for a golden age of improved relations between black men and women. For those who think if they protest for years on end something will change. For those who want their care, concern, activism or attempts at changing how other people behave to work. You can’t shake your fist, react emotionally or expect all attempts at pushing a mountain will get it to move by your efforts alone. Stop spinning your wheels!
To the Marie Antoinettes, Single Issue Protestors, Faux Progressives, Professional ‘Feminists’ and Anti-Rape Opportunists who selectively pursue “justice” – those chickens will continue to roost. Misdirecting your ire at so-called elites, pundits, conservatives, or whomever does not absolve you of your responsibility for carrying dead weight and maintaining caustic people, places and practices – let alone recruiting others to do so. From Dunbar Village to Delhi to Steubenville and back.
There is a solution.
Total accountability for men by men who actually give a d*mn.
Continue reading “This Is What Men Protecting Women Looks Like”
Ask yourself if you’re living freely?
US readers will celebrate the 236th Independence Day of our country’s victory over British rule. As an African-American I always note the irony of how the Black citizens (both free and enslaved) who helped build this country have had to fight for full inclusion. It’s very telling about human vs. spiritual nature won out amongst the ruling elite in how some wanted to control others while claiming oppression. Yet, 8-10 generations later many Blacks have long forgotten the promise yet to be fulfilled.
Continue reading “Today Is YOUR Independence Day!”
Some of my favorite examples of courage are of women adopting the affirmative for who they really are and acting on it. I was so glad to have watched the ABC talk show, The Revolution. While there was some controversy about the network replacing venerated soap operas with scripted tv shows, I liked the aspirational message encouraging women to realize their full potential. The Revolution is hosted by Tim Gunn, Ty Pennington, Harley Pasternak and MDs Tiffanie Davis and Jennifer Ashton. Due to ratings it will end its run in about two weeks, but it’s worth checking out.
Continue reading “As The Talk Show Ends Its Run, Kudos To The Revolution For Helping Women Recognize Their Power”
Girlfriend get your BA or JD, MD, PhD or MDiv AND your MRS!
Congrats to Priscilla Chan, aka Dr. Chan aka Mrs. Zuckerberg!
She’s every woman….meaning her potential is your potential however that manifests itself. This isn’t about chasing after a life partner but ATTRACTING those who will love and support you best! Sure, you can do it on your own…but why should you have to? Sometimes, it takes more STRENGTH to be vulnerable than live with false bravado.
Continue reading “Smart Black Women Will Craft Their Own Asian Woman Marriage Playbook”