Smart Black Women Will Craft Their Own Asian Woman Marriage Playbook

Girlfriend get your BA or JD, MD, PhD or MDiv AND your MRS!

Congrats to Priscilla Chan, aka Dr. Chan aka Mrs. Zuckerberg!

She’s every woman….meaning her potential is your potential however that manifests itself. This isn’t about chasing after a life partner but ATTRACTING those who will love and support you best! Sure, you can do it on your own…but why should you have to? Sometimes, it takes more STRENGTH to be vulnerable than live with false bravado.

Continue reading “Smart Black Women Will Craft Their Own Asian Woman Marriage Playbook”

AOFB Mid-Year Review

It’s already June! I was going to write a quarterly review in April. 30 posts later, I guess I missed the boat! Busy. Busy. Busy.

This was going to be a more extensive post….but I realized some of the things I wanted to talk about: namely weight and self-esteem and being realistic deserves its own separate post. Then, I realized I have already discussed many of these points before, so this might be yet another angle to an ongoing conversation…or beating a dead horse.

I suppose the lurkers who de-cloak from the Romulan Bird-Of-Prey to comment will decide if it’s protest-worthy.

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BWE Infiltrators & Posers Round Two: Black Woman-Haters Are Now Speaking On Our Behalf?!

I am sooo loathe to mention this DBR fool’s name, so I’ll link to one of my earlier posts that analyzed his denigration of our First Lady, Michelle Obama instead. Having just re-read it, I must say it was brilliant. One of my best posts and that was the summer when DBR-ville and the reality of the dead black community really impacted me. Despite my acerbic wit, I was not pleased at facing these facts.

The work began in earnest from that point on. It’s success has meant the flood of infiltrators and traitors is real as well. Funny, how his leap from black woman vomit-spewing hatred, to fake defending us has happened in less than two years. He’s trying to stay relevant ya’ll but he gets no free press at my forum!

I’d heard he was on cable news speaking out against the (Psycho)logy Today article and I had to take a deep breath! This is part of the attack on the validity of the BWE [Black Women’s Empowerment/Liberation Theory] message as a legitimate social justice movement. He has zero credibility and is an opportunist!

This is a loosely active method of infiltration, appropriation and bogarting that’s happening due to the success of deploying the BWE message. For those who’ve been reading this forum for a length of time you’ll recall when I had to publicly respond to a black woman blogger who had behaved in inappropriate ways behind the scenes, played chicken with a core-BWE blogger, deleted her post and then tried to play dumb about the entire incident. I didn’t mention her by name — ya’ll did!

As I stated then and I’ll restate it now it has always been about the MESSAGE not glory for any one blogger. That’s the only thing that has kept these efforts legit. If you readers, fence-sitters, naysayers, opportunists and diluters want to poison the well that is on YOU. My efforts have been consistent and transparent — and sincere.  I have shaken off the chains of indoctrination, found my ethnic pride and reclaimed my right to be a woman. I don’t know what the rest of you are doing, but I’ve moved on! I hope you are as well.

Anyone can set aside several hours (ok days) and go back 2-3 years and read the history of who laid the groundwork, the obstacles that had to be addressed, the people that came along for the ride for a little while, the ones who tried to change the message, those that fought us tooth and nail, the slime tactics they engaged in, a few public situations some of us found ourselves involved in, the breaking-off point where we who set standards had to part with others who had different agendas, the way those others tend to be bitter angry and defensive about it instead of living their lives TO THIS DAY and finally the crop of women who decided to jump on the bandwagon and claim to be one of us without doing the work or being a reliable ally, the ones who’ve little by little backslid into mediocrity and those who still question what we do, how we do it and why.

Alongside the outsiders who are spectators and who take bits of pieces of this mission for their own forums.  There are some who have heaved a sigh of relief at reading how a few of us have our heads screwed on straight as they’ve been wondering what’s wrong with us for putting up with such crappy behavior and mistreatment. Now you know! So this is where we stand today. More or less. I still observe the mass lack of discernment and compromise going on, but I can’t do anything about that. Those are YOUR standards, not mine.  Oh and as someone who has taken my fair share of direct hits, I do have a right to speak on this and stake my claim as a BWE messenger UNDILUTED!

Anyway, back to the Court Jester. This would be the same fool that said the black women who were raped by white slave-masters somehow benefited from the abuse. Oh wait! He later claimed his “cousin” got hold of his cell phone while he was in a yoga class and sent those vile, messages via Twitter. Then like a slimy weasel, deleted them. You can read the coverage at What About Our Daughters for more details. Here. Here and…Here.

So where is this cousin? I want proof!

The editors at the New York Times who allowed that Michelle Obama as “ghetto girl” article to be published should’ve been laughed out of the newsroom. Any serious journalist worth their salt would never allow an “anonymous” source to be used in such a fashion. Yet, journalistic standards are long a thing of the past, eh? I’m reminded of a conversation between Joe Konrath and Barry Eisler where they discussed the failing standards during a larger conversation about the publishing industry. It only emphasized how far that ship has sailed and how low the standards have sunk. Wait — there aren’t any left!

Eisler said and I concur:

“One of the most destructive, pernicious, slovenly aspects of modern journalism is the promiscuous use of anonymous quotes. Most news consumers are so inured to references to anonymous sources that they don’t even notice them. And though newspapers like the New York Times and Washington Post have strict rules about the use of anonymous sources, they routinely ignore them–ignore their own rules.

Here’s the thing. The only time a journalist is justified in using an anonymous source for a quote is when that source is a whistle-blower or otherwise faces a legitimate fear of retaliation if her or his identity is revealed. That’s it. That’s the only circumstance.”

Not when idiots run amuck! I’m not interested in being “outraged”. I want accountability. I want all of you to take notice of how some people are going to start jumping on this bandwagon because they presume a gravy train could be headed their way.

They do not give a rat’s *** about black women. They still hate us! They will grin in our faces with a knife at the ready. Do NOT fall for the okey doke! Look at the total history and their dealings with a variety of women. Look at how they’ve behaved towards the keepers of the BWE message as opposed to everybody else, including the “safe” black women. There is a difference. Unless they’ve been vetted, tested and approved and re-checked for consistency they are NOT TO BE TRUSTED.


At the end of the day, though I want you all to be aware of what’s going on behind the scenes so you’re not caught off-guard we must keep moving forward. In a different thread about a similar conversation reader Tracy made a very important observation which I’ve excerpted here:

“If you keep hang dogging about what the least powerful men on the planet are doing and saying instead of concentrating on your bliss, then you will never move on, no matter who you are with. Nignore, let them go….”


*I may not get to your comments until the weekend, but please discuss amongst yourselves until I reply.

Psycho-Babble Today Sez They’re Sorry. So What!

I ignored jumping too deeply into the feeding frenzy that resulted from the poison arrow lobbed at black women by the quack scientist and once-esteemed rag Psycho(logy) Today. They aimed..and missed! “We apologize…” so says, Editor-In-Chief Kaja Perina. Don’t you just feel the remorse? Nope? Me either! Well..this isn’t an Anita Baker song, so now you get the wrath and it’s time to pay the piper.

The reason why I tend to not spend more than a few minutes on reacting, protesting and being angry over such blatant and obvious attacks on black women is because those that engage in them often have a larger agenda at hand. Not to mention the fact that there are so many these days, it’s hard to keep one separate from the other. We have made huge inroads using the Interwebs to spread a message of empowerment and support that has been noticed. Hence the doubled efforts at defaming us. In this instance, people got worked up, petitions were signed, phone calls were made and that’s a good thing when compared to the utter silence that used to occur.

Now what?

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Favorite Blogs #7: Black Women Using Their Style, Charm & Resources For A Fashionable Life

We’re coming off a holiday weekend so I thought I’d share a fun post today. ENJOY!


We’re going to put whatever previous, current or future nonsense that is sure to erupt across the Interwebs as those demonic idiots who try to malign, defame and belittle the intellect, dynamics, poise and oh yes – BEAUTY – of black women gets dismissed and defunded. If all of you CHOOSE to hold every aggressor equally responsible and enact standards any such attempts would cease to be considered. Please think about the $1.2 TRILLION that black women in the US control. Accountability as a surgical strike would be a thing of wonder!

I was planning on including a list of black women locally/globally who are utilizing their Charm Offensive. The time seems even more appropriate. The best “defense” for black women is our continued elevation across all social strata. LIVING WITH DIGNITY, THRIVING and THINKING INTERNATIONALLY is key. That includes getting ALL of our needs met: financially, romantically, family-oriented, friendships, career and self-care.  Onto the post after the jump!

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Inspirational Quotes: Della Reese

“….Stumbling blocks become stepping stones that elevate you….”

Rev. Dr. Della Reese-Lett

Since, I’ve unplugged the television – except for one or two shows and other non-productive media –  I have been listening to podcasts and watching videos from people who have shaped lives and lifestyles I admire and aspire to.  The one thing that stands out for me is how they adopt a specific mentality that they use to move fluidly through life.

These people aren’t experiencing a utopia alternate universe or being carried on angel’s wings, but they have great expectations and act accordingly. Ever since I discovered the Hello, Rev. Della Speaking podcasts on Unity FM I have made them a weekly ritual. Often, I listen to a single podcast several times. One to take notes, one to listen to while I sleep, one to reinforce the teaching, one to test how I’ve incorporated it and one to enjoy it again after some time has passed.

Rev. Della has discussed how “God is living intelligence” and how “Faith is an active power with an unlimited supply” and why we should “Stop stockpiling mistakes”. She urges us to not bury our talents and to not be concerned about other people’s judgment. She encourages us to be meek (able to learn) but NOT weak! I LOVE IT!!!!

I am so grateful for the wisdom she shares without ever coming across as preachy.  She espouses creating a spiritual practice not blindly following a man-made religious doctrine. I feel as if the encouragement she offers along with its practical application has and will continue to have a profound impact on my life. Yes, I do feel as if she’s speaking to me personally. It’s grandma’s kitchen wisdom dispensed with love.  It all starts in our heads: what we think and why.

This is also a powerful example of how we can take control of our lives to elevate ourselves. Which is the purpose of this forum. I hope you find this as yet another useful tool at your disposal for your 360 Degree Life. I urge you to listen and become all that you already are.

I leave you in light and beauty with a musical treasure by Emiliana Torrini titled Birds.

How Serious Are You About Uplifting Black Women?

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post to take a moment to ask a serious question:

Are you really in support of black women?

ALL black women – including acknowledging the contributions of African-American women that pretty much everyone else benefits from and appropriates the Civil Rights model those women perfected for your group’s personal use?

Some may have wondered why I chose to post “lighter” fare the past few weeks. Well…of course if you are a discerning reader you already know subtle doesn’t equal lack of depth and adapting new mentalities can be employed in a variety of ways. Besides, I’m getting rather fed up at the poseurs and voyeurs who are mere passengers seeking an amusement ride.

Let me speak plainly now:

All the faux (or real) outrage in the world will disappear into the ether without a well-supported infrastructure.

Continue reading “How Serious Are You About Uplifting Black Women?”

To Encourage More Of You To Use The Interwebs Here’s Some Blogging Resources

You are getting prime “tidbits” I offer for my Social Media coaching services for free! Sing the theme from Ren & Stimpy with me: Happy Happy Joy Joy + repeat 2x.

The first thing I want to say is welcome to the interwebs. This post isn’t necessarily for people who are already active users and have blogs, but if you find something useful take it. This is also a basic set-up to get you going. There are numerous online resources you can research for specifics at running a blog now that they’re so darn popular. Yes, I am on a mission to promote Black Girl Cool Worldwide Edition.


After thinking about a potential theme and hopefully deciding to not choose a title that will box you in three years from now (if you’re still blogging), make sure you own the name you want. If you think there may even be a possibility you’ll want a particular phrase combo and someone else owns it, you will be sorry later on. It’s about $11 per year and if you buy multiple years upfront from a domain registrar you can get a discount.

Cost saving measure: Buy your legal name as well AND a blog name and you can purchase two for the price of one. The freedom of buying your domain name is that it is portable and you can take it with you should you decide to go from a sub-domain [i.e. to] to a domain managed site. The legal name is a suggestion in case you want to use it for career purposes or in starting a business.

Oh — and you might want to pay the additional fee to make it a private sale, so some random blogger doesn’t later complain you and a host of others bought a name they now want but because you left it as part of the open records you were the only one they could track down (yes) to complain about.

Continue reading “To Encourage More Of You To Use The Interwebs Here’s Some Blogging Resources”

abundance is where women who don’t want to wallow in powerlessness go to create a better life

I’m having a poetic epiphany!

Between Questlove, Russell Simmons, Ashley Judd and now Lisa Price of Carol’s Daughter ganging up on black women, denying our heritage, telling us the only blacks are men and all the women are white, it seems the usual denigration has been kicked up a notch while they’re kicking us in the teeth.

You do realize this means we are “winning”, right?

Continue reading “abundance is where women who don’t want to wallow in powerlessness go to create a better life”