Broke Bums Ain’t Cute

I want to use a few examples from recent media chatter to discuss the perils of women giving men passes for EVERYTHING!!! Men do NOT settle! Men go after jobs and partners they don’t deserve and are unqualified for ALL THE TIME. Extreme social conditioning amongst dysfunctional blacks browbeat black women into accepting crumbs and thinking it’s a meal. Enough!

Brookings Institution study on black women marrying down [they’re mostly focused on black male partners].

There is a growing trend in the United States towards assortative mating — a clunky phrase that refers to people’s tendency to choose spouses with similar educational attainment.

A media storm erupted in the Spring of 2013 when a Princeton alum, Susan A. Patton, president of the class of ‘77, offered the following advice to female students: “Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate.” Writing in The Daily Princetonian, Patton went on: “You will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.”

One implication of assortative mating is greater household income inequality, since education is a strong — and strengthening — predictor of earnings. Households with two college graduates multiply that earnings power by two and are doing much better than households with less-educated couples.

Race is a factor in patterns of assortative mating. Black women face more difficult “marriage markets” than white women, given current rates of intermarriage according to work from University of Maryland sociologist Philip N. Cohen. Black women have the lowest rates of “marrying out” across race lines, in part because of racist attitudes [My reply: it’s the result of strict social conditioning amongst African Americans in particular] to inter-marriage.

One of the reasons I skip over a lot of these black people gossip story items is because people almost always are acting foolishly. I saw on my feeds that actress Tia Mowry-Hardrict had posted some “stay away from my man” nonsense to actress Keke Palmer ON TWITTER of all places and then deleted it. Palmer recently completed a project with Tia’s husband, actor Cory Hardrict.

Here’s Keke’s interview on Wendy Williams were she discusses her career, current project and clarifies the matter. She’s very bubbly and friendly, though likely nervous because she was talking fast at elevated levels.

 

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Would You Pay $3000 To Learn How To Marry Into Wealth?

Sorry gents, this is strictly for the ladies! Beijing’s Moral Education Centre for Women offers a 30-hour course in life skills and ways for marriage-focused women to appeal to men of means.

Instructors advise going to places that the rich frequent, such as fancy bars and private clubs, learning proper restaurant and dining etiquette, studying formal dress, staying indifferent when presented with luxury gifts and avoiding insincere flattery.

Some of this advice is universally sound. It could work for anyone who wants to expand their social circles. I can see where some people would twist the idea of positioning and expediency and make it into a calculated, self-serving venture. Who gives a ____!!

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Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #16: When A Man Talks About Your Relationship A Certain Way It’s A Good Thing

I just had to do a quick post reshuffling when the scans for the June issue of US GQ magazine appeared on several Michael Fassbender fan sites yesterday. So, while we’ll be discussing him as the overall example for this post, this isn’t really about him. Or any male for that matter. This is about you, women making smart choices that benefit them from a position of confidence.

The article is part of the media blitz for Prometheus. *While some of the accompanying photos are typically objectifying, it is a men’s magazine and par for the course (insert eye roll). The interview was quite good. Now onto the topic at hand.

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Womanly Words Of Wisdom From Zsa Zsa Gabor

Wouldn’t you know some younger woman at a celebrity forum posted a hilarious quotation made by this infamous femme fatale born at the beginning of the 1900’s who has left us a few pearls of wisdom before departing this mortal coil. My pride was dinged a bit to have missed them thus far, but I’m pleased to see evidence of wisdom from the Millennials. So, I’m sharing with you lovely ladies! 

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an actress known for her glamorous image and numerous marriages. She is from an era when women knew how to use their assets and celebrity women did so without apology. Think Pearl Bailey. Lena Horne. Sophia Loren. Elizabeth Taylor. These women are undoubtedly sexy and alluring but classy in appearance.

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Lessons In Synchronicity & Love: Kevin Costner On Whitney Houston

We Were All Rooting For Her Triumphant Return
Having just watched this very moving funeral service, I want us to remember some of the highlights of the life and career of Whitney Houston. I just reworked this post as I was saving to publish until March, but hearing Kevin Costner speak today reiterated some of the basic messaging we cover in this forum.

Costner offered such insight into Houston and many learned how much he went to bat for her to be cast opposite him in The Bodyguard. The movie had been considered for Ryan O’Neal and Diana Ross as leads way back in the late 70’s. Costner discussed some of the background of how the film got made in the following interview. He selected Whitney Houston. Costner was the hottest male A-List actor at the time and had his pick of any actress to work with. What most didn’t know was he waited one year for Houston to be available to film it. It was HIS project and Houston was untested in the film industry at that time. The “other” singer not mentioned by name that the studio wanted was Madonna.

Of course they were concerned about finding the right female lead. Of course some executives initially put up a fight about casting a black woman, but Costner was far too open-minded to not notice her beauty and talent. If you recall in the concert film, Truth or Dare Madonna made fun of Costner on camera. That may have eliminated her despite the fact she later apologized while lobbying for the role. Regardless, Costner had already made his choice of leading lady and eventually the studio relented. He pursued, Houston accepted and the rest is history.

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Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #7: Before They Are “Men” – Advice About Teens & College-Age Males

Audience Note:  I’ve changed the name of the series after realizing I’d inadvertently used the same title first employed by another BWE blogger. Since this originally expanded from analyzing why some women were misunderstanding and misusing terms and strategies for dating alpha males it’s important to me to make that distinction. My bad! I don’t think anyone has noticed, but we do put so much thought into our conversations (and may share some of the same readers) I want to respect the work that goes into it. To meet the needs of ALL women I want us to continue exploring the ways we seek and build relationships with men socially and professionally as well as romantically

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First of all, it would be better for you as a young girl and woman developing mentally, physically and emotionally to HOLD OFF on any sexual activity…but I realize that may be too late for many of you. Nor is that a  necessarily popular stance to propose because we’re all so modern, advanced and “free”. Freedom costs…a lot by the way.

This is not about judgment or restricting a girl’s right to exploration, but an analysis of benefits/disadvantages that every young woman ought to consider should things not go the way she hopes.  Or before she’s had to chance to figure out what she really wants. Of course it’s best if no one knows your level of “experience” regardless — not even your girlfriends because people are not always discreet. The series also tends to focus more on your “average” girl or guy from Western society with added emphasis in how black girls/women can utilize situations to their advantage.

So far, my Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series has been about grown folks over the age of say 21 who may have already had certain experiences. This is about checking yourself while on the path to love (not to get derailed into baby momma-ville and settling for moldy crumbs), normal human bonding and a course redirection/correction  when necessary. It is to help you refine or reclaim goals. It’s never too late to make positive changes in your life.

What about those younger girls who haven’t even been kissed yet? Who’ve been told it’s normal to offer oral sex to a boy  they like? Who are having pictures taken and passed around without their knowledge or consent that may be embarrassing or compromising? I know I have some young readers (or those who are in support of them) so I want to address you and your needs specifically.

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Suicidal Thinking About Weight Will Literally Knock Black Women Out

“Every second your destiny is just waiting for you to show up.”

— Jillian Michaels

I wanted to share a very brief update on my getting fit plan for 2011 which I’ll go into greater detail when I write my quarterly review next week. I am continuing to lower my BMI and gain muscle tone. I’m at 60 lbs junked – never to be seen again. The scale has caused me some distress with various fluctuations (flab vs. muscle) clashing with my expectations so I’m focusing on measurements. I’ve lost 9 inches from my hips so all of my clothes are baggy. While I want to cheer, I know there’s more I need to do, so I cannot become complacent. I am aiming for excellence (not perfection) versus “good enough for a black girl”. This is why I wanted a team of experts like reality star Ruby Gettinger has, but the victory belongs to me for designing the change from start to finish.

I will start to see bigger results after I’ve incorporated a consistent exerciser regime, however the greatest progress for me right now is recognizing when others are trying to sabotage my efforts with their supplies of junk food, sugary (or worse HFCS) drink, desserts and desire for me to “relax and take a day off” or telling me I deserve a “treat”.

No! What I deserve is to be free from all the baggage. When children in wheelchairs can do back-flips what’s our excuse?

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It’s Time To Let Go Of The Pain (Porn)

One of the great things to have occurred over the past several years is the emergence of the internet. As we know many people made blogging and creating other online forums an integral part of their lives, starting businesses and reaching out to others across the blogosphere. We’ve been able to bypass traditional media in breaking stories, have vaulted over certain gatekeepers who have a more thinly-defined idea of what is “newsworthy” and have even been dispatched to the White House because our influence and reach is unique.

We still have work to do if we are interested in getting our messages out. The presence of media companies and other interests to again segment and control who gets to speak (or write), what they say and how they say it has never stopped. You may find this out quickly when submitting to others that some material doesn’t meet their editorial guidelines or they want a different writing style and then you may see how certain blogger voices who may be deemed safer or are on some unknown approved list get the green light. It’s more of the same. Others are building infrastructures and we had better do the same before we are marginalized and phased out.

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