This is a great example for black women branching out! When I write about certain topics there’s usually a multi-tiered purpose with an immediate and long-range plan in mind. The main priority is to shift thinking and clear a space (mentally, physically, emotionally) to safely re-examine people, places and practices.
Sometimes it’s fun to live vicariously through other people. It’s part aspirational and part inspirational. We don’t need to know every aspect of another person’s life to key in on positive traits that provide a deeper meaning for ourselves. I think most folks are smart enough to separate fantasy from reality.
A purple unicorn shed a tear yesterday.
While he’s not a household name yet (you won’t be able to say that after Prometheus comes out this summer), Michael Fassbender is known to all the key players in Hollywood and – entertainment bloggers. Anyway, there’s been speculation coupled with major denial related to his love life.
Aside from thinking a famous fella is attractive and admiring all of his perceived assets, I don’t really care about his personal life unless he’s publicly destructive in behavior or image. We’ve covered numerous black male celebrities going out of their way to trash black women. So, I am extremely giddy to share the paparazzi snapping everyone’s favorite Fantasy It Guy out for a stroll on the streets of NYC with his Shame co-star Nicole Beharie. Aren’t they cute?
While some people were hoping it was just a sex hookup on the DL, after numerous sightings posted on Twitter there is as we say proof in the pudding. The fan forums have been buzzing for months about this. I can’t help but be a little snarky because the response from some corners has been all too predictable.
One celebrity blogger who has practically cyber-stalked the actor for more than a year was curiously silent about the pair yesterday when the photos were released and didn’t report it. Now’s she’s playing dumb. We see your passive-aggressive jealousy a mile away, honey. There’s a lot of shade being tossed around right now. Hey, we all wish it was us, but what we really want is our own grand love affair. I cannot tell you all the swoon-worthy gay men I’ve had to let go of once I found out they were wading in somebody else’s pool.
Guess what folks it’s 2012. Despite more recent indoctrination that has trained African-American women to self-sacrifice and self-implode for Blackistan, there was a time when more dated and married non-black men very often. It wasn’t that long ago when miscegenation laws tried to stop white men from marrying black women, but that failed. Obviously!
While there is still some trepidation more BW/WM pairings will continue because this is nothing new. Ebony and Jet magazines have their archives online. You’d be surprised to see the high numbers of interracial couples and marriages were written about as a matter of course. With photos!
I wasn’t expecting to write another post on Fassbender again because we don’t focus on specific couples’ dating relationships at AOFB, but this was too good to pass up. Beharie is a brown-skinned Julliard-trained actress who looks like a traditionally featured gorgeous black woman! She didn’t hesitate to limit her dating options.
Aside from those other women reacting poorly, I noticed a dual attempt by some black women trying to reinforce racio-misogyny as well. This thread on Lipstick Alley pages 38, 39, 40 and on is a prime example of the erasure attempts of dark-skinned black women with more Negroid features by the whiter/brighter/European featured.
I wanted to discuss this again anyway, so this was an opportune moment. Pulling an archived post from Aimee’s blog, she aptly pointed this out in Hating Black Women:
But racio-misogyny does not only ensnare and victimize black men. It also controls the hearts and minds of the “loyal opposition,” i.e., brainwashed black women, who play a crucial role in enforcing the “community’s” Anti-Black Woman agenda. It is black women who actively degrade and insult dark-skinned black women while treating light-skinned women with almost worshipful admiration.
It’s not an almost, it’s a definite. Otherwise the half/quarter black/other offspring of mostly black males or those who look like them wouldn’t be the “face” of near-exclusive representation of “blackness”!! This is also where online activism that fails to address any of this fails at truly empowering black women to make the most effective choices.
It is black women who attack black women who date/marry interracially, while defending the interracial mating prerogatives of black men Thus, we witness the sad and bizarre spectacle of black women (most of whom are not and never will be married), living vicariously through morally questionable white women like Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Kendra Baskett, Nicole “Coco” Austin, and Vanessa Bryant, based solely on these women’s relationships with black men.
It is black women above all who are the most entrenched and active promoters of the “Black Love Paradigm,” which both esteems any and all relationships between black men and women (regardless of the quality or functionality of said relationships) above all others, and contends in the face of all objective evidence that there are multitudes of worthy, functional, black-women loving black men ready and eager to marry black women, father black children, and provide for black families.
This belief is the dearly held meme of the mule crowd, the lifeforce that sustains them, and the only way it can persist in the face of reality is for the true believers to continue a sustained assault on any and everything about other black women, from their hair to their complexions to their figures to their very characters.
At the root of all of this denigration is the need to bolster and justify black men, no matter what they do. Mules understand instinctively that the only way that the conduct of black men vis-à-vis black women, children and the precious “community” can be legitimized is if black women are utterly demonized. And like loyal mammies, they reflexively cradle black men to their bosoms, while simultaneously undermining other black women at every turn, understanding implicitly that this is what they must do if black men are to reclaim their tattered and prized “masculinity.”
The only caveat about Fassy is his workaholic schedule and propensity for dating co-stars, but that’s probably due in part to his schedule. He practically fell over himself to compliment Viola Davis at the Golden Globes. He’s a European man under 35 and doesn’t carry the same racial dating baggage of many Americans. Plus, he’s Irish. Trust me, I lived in Ireland and I have never been so openly adored by men.
We already know from numerous comments by white men who find black women attractive (and worthy of marriage) left during online conversations, they gravitate towards “unmixed” women. Multi-racial/cultural women already have a preferential status in Blackistan whether they choose to admit it or not. There are an even greater number of “liberal” whites and black women ready to focus on saving black males. Those women trying to reinforce “lighter/whiter” representations are supporting the larger racist agenda of black males trying to belittle, ignore and ultimately replace us.
It is absolutely crucial for black women who want the healthy, happy lives that they deserve to recognize that the very foundation of the currently formulated black community is constructed around the devaluation of black women and children. It is no more and no less.
Loyalty to this community requires disloyalty to your own well-being and your very survival as black women. This is not simply a matter of who you date or marry, though one’s choice of mate is a crucial factor in the ability to escape this quagmire.
The same caution and discretion must be exercised in one’s choice of friends, acquaintances, neighbors, business and professional colleagues, and even those members of your family who you choose to include in your life. Detaching from this dysfunctional, pathological community must be job one!
People flee from their guilt and regret. To alleviate skewed consciences we will hold onto useless behaviors for dear life. It’s hard to change – only until it isn’t anymore. I’m using Fassbender as an example. This is bigger than him obviously. This is about YOU getting your BEST life.
There’s a few things that came up in January and February that warrant further evaluation, but as you have been told dear friends we have deployed the core Black Woman Empowerment (BWE) message and it’s time to continue the journey out of Blackistan as you apply new people, places and practices to your life offline.
You can be a pawn or a player.