Just a few thoughts. Much of this recent grumbling in certain corners of the blogosphere is yet another manifestation of indoctrination. Most people react poorly when they have to review their dogmas. If these conversations were only about a few there’d be no need to ever discuss the status of the black collective and its impact on the lives of black women and children.
That’s what prompted some of us to blog in the first place. We wanted to help others, develop ourselves and give a platform to those denied a voice. It’s not only about singlehood vs. marriage, The Help, Red Tails, Tyler Perry, white men, education, weight or black love. It’s not about me or you…or you or you. It’s about the future.
To lump the machinations of fake BWE messengers with those who have made measurable contributions in uplifting black women is not only misguided but offensive. Yet again we see the lack of accountability and discipline being publicly displayed. Lots of emotional venting and back-biting going on. Shoulder Shrug.
I’m not getting riled up about this latest push-back because I had prepared for it. You should not be disheartened, upset or surprised. Solution: Replace all non-reciprocal and non-beneficial people, places and practices. End the divided loyalties. Be willing to evaluate every aspect of your life.
So many folks are invested in blocking black woman from what they view as jumping ahead of them in life. Some black women may be content to wait it out, hoping somebody else and external circumstances will fix everything so they can continue marching in place (aka the “black” zone). They haven’t noticed they’re sliding backwards. Debating semantics is truly futile. They’ll have to see others doing something over an extended period before they’ll be willing to let go of their limited thinking, envy or derision.
In the film The Matrix, Morpheus told Neo they wouldn’t try to “free” a mind after a certain age because people could not untether from the machines. This is just another example of black women digging a deeper hole for themselves. Change is hard – but not impossible. Perfection was never the goal, but a shift in awareness that would lead to abundance for more women.
If you’re not self-aware of your triggers you’ll keep tripping over them until you figure it out. If you believe circumstances define your life how can you change? It was always necessary to do the internal work so I’m not sure where or why anyone got the idea they could skip that step.
I think about the Biblical story about Lot’s wife looking back after God told the family to run for their lives. I believe it’s a metaphor for change. If we want to get to a new place we have to put a measurable distance between the old place (our starting point) and the new destination. Look at Rihanna’s behavior!
I think some of the recent backlash – aside from the hijacking/belittling attempts from the infiltrators – is because some women are touching their most embedded third rails. Making real change requires a true vulnerability that defies the “Imma Be Alright”, “I’m Strong” and “I Got My S*%t Together” lie from the black women who’ve been in and out of these forums for a long time.
Nothing worth doing is guaranteed to be easy over the long run. Breaking the norm for the average black woman is the only true catalyst that will give others the incentive to adjust. It’s not going to come from a touchy feely place. The competitive edge will need to exert itself.
Will the status quo remain?
Living in ever-increasing dangerous areas
Economic/Job Upheaval with no safety net
Accountability can never be dismissed. Of course you are free to say a) changes can’t be done or b) certain changes don’t need to be done, but let’s check back in 1, 3, 5 or more years to see how you’ve fared. What about the next generation of black women? I can’t speak for anyone else, but the message at AOFB remains: you can be “right” about whatever position you’ve assigned for yourself or you can play to win.
Read our conversation from April 2011 asking if the small number of black women who chose abundance are in fact part of a super elite group.