Smart Black Women Will Craft Their Own Asian Woman Marriage Playbook

Girlfriend get your BA or JD, MD, PhD or MDiv AND your MRS!

Congrats to Priscilla Chan, aka Dr. Chan aka Mrs. Zuckerberg!

She’s every woman….meaning her potential is your potential however that manifests itself. This isn’t about chasing after a life partner but ATTRACTING those who will love and support you best! Sure, you can do it on your own…but why should you have to? Sometimes, it takes more STRENGTH to be vulnerable than live with false bravado.

As you may have heard by now Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg and his long-time love married right after she obtained her medical degree and he held the IPO that increased his net worth to $21 BILLION. They’re wrapping up what I’m sure is an enjoyable honeymoon as they celebrate the culmination of their hard work and careful planning. 

Money isn’t everything but it HELPS when you’re in need it’s hard to ignore that level of success. It’s lightning in a bottle, takes a lot of luck and persistence and isn’t guaranteed. I’m mentioning this because there were a flurry of passive-aggressive hit pieces in the financial press talking about pre-nups, marital assets, estate planning…and “in case of divorce” speculation. Some congrats huh?

While some are stewing in their racist bile others are freaking out that all the high-profile eligible white men have been seduced away by the Daughters of the East. In an earlier post I asked whether Asian women were “Trophy” wives. I think some women are taught behavior that helps them in the long run. All of this speculation and fake interest in what African-American (and other black) women think, feel and devaluing their status in the age of FLOTUS Michelle Obama (and post-BWE) is a failed control attempt. Indeed because of interested parties and their malevolence, if you weren’t prepared in advance you can still learn a trick or two to use to your advantage now!! Everybody’s soooo interested…..

Many would advise against couples dating and living together for years on end (Kate and Wills come to mind) but there are exceptions. Clearly this was (another) one of them. I can imagine the Zuckerbergs wanted to be established at a certain level, to cross a career threshold before the marital one to devote the time and energy needed for both.

When Mark dropped out of Harvard to try to make a go of Facebook, he moved to Palo Alto. If we are to believe The Social Network story arc, the company could have self-imploded at its most crucial time. Priscilla followed and transferred schools to complete her studies.

It may have been a risky gamble on her part, but since they met at Harvard and she had already moved to the US from China she wasn’t going to derail her life goals. Promises were made with certain expectations with an exit plan in place. Kudos to having a plan with a deadline attached, good counsel, wisdom…and a little luck.

As you can imagine all sorts of people make themselves available when they smell money, power and access. All sorts of “background noise” could drown out sensible conversation. Familiarity could breed contempt. Yet, you have to hand it to two young people who remained focused while navigating completely foreign circumstances: being there together while conquering the world. No one could have predicted his business success. She would still have carved out the immigrant dream of a better life for herself regardless.

They wisely didn’t make their relationship a public spectacle and lead quiet lives despite the extraordinary aspects. When he mentioned during an interview he was studying to become fluent in her mother tongue, it indicated how invested he was in their relationship. The lesson for the rest of us is to find and nurture your own real-life faerie-tale aka LIVING A VERSION OF YOUR BEST LIFE. Congrats to them and you for believing in yourself! Now go out there and get it!!

Read some of the comments accompanying this People article for a realistic reaction from certain corners. No naysayer or direct saboteur will stop MORE and MORE black women from leaving toxic cesspools for their pre-paid lot in the Promised Land. Don’t be remotely surprised when other black women try to profit from discouraging your progress while pretending to support it.

                          Do Your Part

  • Travel outside the US & West Indies
  • Know Who You Are
  • Like Yourself and Firm Up Your Self-Image (Mirror Exercises)
  • Distinguish the difference between functioning men and those with varying degrees of quality (i.e. decent but not compatible with you). AVOID all others!
  • Identify and nurture potential friends and allies.
  • Purge ALL BW-haters/users whether they’re openly hostile or fakely friendly.
  • Monitor people, places (physical or mental) and practices.
  • ASSUME nothing and everything.
  • Prepare yourself for a partner in life.
  • Do whatever works. Throw out the playbook if need be. Don’t settle!
  • Pray for a miracle.
  • Relax and have fun!


If you enjoyed the post feel free to (re)visit these conversations:

13 Replies to “Smart Black Women Will Craft Their Own Asian Woman Marriage Playbook”

  1. How do you know what most black women want or don't want? Answer: YOU DON'T! What's most important is that you follow your heart and know what you want. However you do not have the right or permission to speak for MOST of us! Speak for yourself and yourself only.

    1. It’s best not to get to worked up over those folks. They don’t have any real power -- certainly not over us! I might allow a comment like this through as a REMINDER of what’s at stake and how many opportunities are out there. No one should be complacent.

  2. huh? this has got to be the dumbest (and most mind boggingly pathetic and pity-inducing) blog post i have ever read. most black women do NOT want to marry the likes of mark zuckerberg. i don't see how trying to emulate asian women's arse-kissing of everything white is something black women should aspire to.

    michelle has got obama, and many other black women have got who they want without having to be told to chase after white men, especially nerdy ugly ones. how pathetic! on the one had, you advise women in other posts to not chase men, but on the other you basically make it clear that you think it's ok as long as the men they chase are white.

    **NEWSFLASH **

    black woman, find a decent man of any race to marry, but don't make white men the pinnacle, because they're not.

    1. YAWN! ZZZZZZZ. I would have just sent this ignoramous response to the trash bin, but it was so ridiculous I laughed. So you're a regular visitor of this forum but clearly sweating bullets MORE black women WILL CONTINUE marrying WHITE MEN. Can I get a tissue for you? Do you want a cookie? So sorry your INFERIORITY COMPLEX has flared up again. You really need to focus on remedying THAT -- not what other women are doing to add value. Too bad you don't measure up or are too vindictive to encourage future generations to lower the numbers somewhat of what is definitely going to be mass underclass/passed over/left behind status for blacks. You're already obsolete and don't even notice. Read for comprehension next time!

  3. •Purge ALL BW-haters/users whether they’re openly hostile or fakely friendly.

    Best advice ever. Every Black woman should aim to get rid of the haters — including other Black women. Great post.

    1. Thanks. And you know they may not be "haters" but definitely traveling in a different lane or speed. And not wanting anyone else to travel freely.

  4. Great post & very astute!!! I'll have my PhD very soon and I plan to leverage it to the maximum extent possible. Thanks for sharing your views with us and I agree with you 100%.

    1. Thanks! You just gave me a great idea for a tagline I\’m going to use…..more to follow….

  5. So this is what sparked off the deluge of 'pre-nup' articles that have slammed my RSS feed/inbox, etc over the past few weeks! Great article.

    1. Yup, some folks act as if Zuckerberg's billions are their own. The way certain males were griping about Elin Woods' settlement. They're missing the emotional bonds that grease the wheels of the career success. I mean at a certain point I imagine there's a negligible difference between billions in the day-to-day comings and goings. I think they'll probably start a foundation like Bill & Melinda Gates.

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