Mediocrity doesn’t indicate average engagement. It means the limitations chosen reflect one of resentment and envy towards their betters.
A commenter at another blog left a rather telling message that offered insight into her willfully-indoctrinated/haterade mindset. Mind you she’s commenting at a blog site whose motto is in defending black women. She claims she’s all for supporting black women, but doesn’t want to have to engage with any women from certain “black male hating” blogs.
I wonder what blogs those are (wink).
Imagine if you will how some have levied that very same charge for the mere mention of the mass number of crimes 99.999999% committed against black women and girls are by…wait for it….black males. The point of the “man-haters” is to warn women of certain patterns so they won’t end up in the starring (victim) role in the crime stories featured at various sites.
Let’s also take the time to reiterate how the do-nothing Civil Rights orgs like the NAACP have no existing policies addressing the denigration and violence against black women period unless they can make it into a swipe at attacking the white establishment for profit. No, these orgs are only interested in protecting black male criminals/fighting white hegemony (while soliciting donations from white companies) and that was never put on the front burner more than in the Shirley Sherrod case.
Of course the BWE messenging brings these factors into play but the core purpose is to encourage other black women to MOVE ON! Not to continually pine after, reflect on, attempt to rescue or keep hope alive that they can single-handedly revive a dead ideology on their own. It’s for individual pursuit of their personal brand of excellence, support and reciprocity to live their best lives beyond any self-imposed or unimagined limitations.
It reflects open hostility and a glaring blind spot when it comes to how some black women may be in support of each other but under extremely narrow parameters. If a woman rocks the boat with some unvarnished truth or does things others have decided are not attainable it’s not always a Sisterhood Of The Emanicipated. The resentment comes into play because most are not able to allow for anyone else having a difference in ideology and being unapologetic about it. This expands into complete lifestyle choices, freedom of movement and moving through the world gracefully but with absolute freedom. It breaks from supporting a system that has long failed to produce anything significant with consistency that encompasses a majority – also known as an expansive and encouraging display of cultural pride as well as gender parity.
If they can’t see it then it can’t exist and they are outraged at being exposed as having fallen short. It’s misplaced as we all have our own paths to walk, truths to discover and skills to acquire as we choose.
Halima, host of Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle blog took a mini-break and came back swinging as she deftly laid out this attitude of resentment and entitlement that does permeate the attitudes of many black women. Hence, why I’ve learned the hard way to remember what Morpheus told Neo about the dangers posed by those still in the Matrix. Everyone’s who is still tethered will take you out rather than free themselves! Once you take the red pill it’s a whole different ballgame….
If you’ve noted my progression as chronicled at Acts Of Faith In Love and Life moved from shock to horror to resignation to acceptance (mixed with a certain disgust at times) over the state of the dead black community. The challenges have been glaring and grating. Walking away from toxic, dangerous people and circumstances doesn’t remove the dying embers of affection or hopefulness at finding others on a similar journey.
Until fairly recently I still thought I could challenge or cajole others about the deteriorated status of the collective which is difficult to acknowledge while still holding out for a smaller group of people with common interests to emerge. Well…I’m over it now. With a thud!
I, as an individual must take full responsibility for my own quality of life and happiness. That will eliminate running recon and hunting for survivors for right now. I’m finding it easier to ensure that I continue to focus on self-elevation and expansion by monitoring the conversations other black women are having where they’re still asking for permission to exist or expressing anger at having to compete in a world (amongst other women) that has not always been fair or kind to them as a collective historically speaking.
I have to do the opposite of what many of them are considering and take steps beyond the recycling and stalling tactics. I do empathize – but I want move at warp speed – not a snail’s pace. I’m very grateful the light clicked on for me and I have been willing to (slowly sometimes) keep moving forward. It isn’t always easy or convenient but it is certainly worth it.