I was put here for greatness and I went after that greatness with force.
Excellence makes my skin color secondary.
I missed Tedx talk when pioneering black beauty blogger Afrobella first spoke. Lately, I’ve been inspired to do a complete overhaul of my wardrobe. I have to take a moment to recognize the joys and pitfalls of online shopping when you can’t find styles that suit your tastes. The same can be said for online dating! I’ve also been feeling frustrated by what I see when I look in the mirror because I want photo-shopped perfection. I had lost a good amount of weight three years ago by severely restricting my caloric intake and only eating certain foods. When I hit a plateau, the scale would not budge and my narrow lane of food intake rebelled against my foodie-loving tendencies. Lifestyle choices take time, so I’ve had to readjust my expectations and call a truce with myself even while eyeing a goal.
I’m the type of person who falls into an over-analyzing abyss and has to silence a harsh inner critic. I’ve recently experienced a break-through in terms of my outlook. While, it is true we need to be healthier and keep ourselves in proportion, telling yourself everything about your existence is “wrong” until you achieve certain goals is not the way to be “right”. The journey is just that…a journey. Not a sprint. Not a click your heels and throw some pixie dust jaunt without taking that mile-long trip to discovering you.
Take a look a this and be encouraged.
Lois and Clark getting a little friendlier…..
It’s been a minute or two since I’ve added a new installment to this series, but this was an opportune moment. In other words, I really needed to have something to say! While posts at the main site vary in frequency, you can always find daily conversation at Twitter or Facebook.
Despite some of the more recent upsetting current events, we must keep moving forward. I say this as much for myself as for all of you, that we have to find a way past obstacles and see the best outcomes for ourselves. That’s not easy.
So, after reminding women to be women and stop feeling obligated to be good little soldiers lined up on the battlefields only to be knocked down, reacquaint yourself with your va-va-voom. And you can’t get your sexy on while feeling or being under siege.
Repeat after me: Men Must Rescue Themselves.
This is going to be a stream of conscious post. I’m just too tired to make it pretty for you today and I need a media break from all of the chaos from the past few days.
I’m trying to figure out the short version of how to say this: for some of us, if we don’t have the framework to make the changes we want I’m not entirely convinced we can successfully apply BWE (or sustain any forward motion). And I’m not talking about lack of understanding or not trying. I’m talking about external circumstances ripping things apart no matter what we do. That no affirmation or plan of action or discussion or desire to do it can make it happen. That we were just screwed early on in life or left without proper resources that we cannot ever catch up. Like, no matter what.
Which flies in the face of the idea that we can take responsibility, change our mentality and create a better life for ourselves. I’m thinking that may work for some people, but it’s not guaranteed for most of us. It’s like trying to live with a disease that you can’t rid of like HIV (passed on as a kid) or something. You might be able to “manage” it with drug therapy and other stop-gap measures so it doesn’t progress and kill you, but you’re still sick.
YOU didn’t do it, something was done to you and you can’t ever get away from it in its entirety. And I guess that’s also how clinical depression works. It’s like a pebble in your shoe. Sometimes you can deal with the discomfort, sometimes it wipes you out and sometimes you can ignore it completely, but it’s always there ready to mess your life up. Ferguson. Robin Williams’ suicide – and the reaction from people who are not his family.
Before the latest anti-black dysfunction adopted by many black people who have not worked through their color racism and hair texture discrimination, was slapped on top of the current “natural hair” phenom encouraging black women to embrace the hair that grows out of their scalps and it became all about achieving loose waves and ringlets, there was this:
Look! Hair that looks shiny, moisturized with no dry ends or single strand snarls!
AND NOT A MANUFACTURED CURL PATTERN IN SIGHT.
It’s an A-F-R-O.
Just a hairstyle…..
The ONLY act of militancy from wearing a legitimate afro TODAY is doing so in the midst of BLACK PEOPLE!