Pretty Is As Pretty Does

A few things to consider. Early reinforcement of positive and affirming messages about the value of girls form the basis of a healthy self-image. By no means should we feed the ego or encourage chasing after male attention. This is about encouraging trust in our innate femaleness and femininity. We see examples of how women who’ve been denigrated or indulged behave in ways that don’t serve their interests.

Daughters are Pretty, Say Nothing Different

All females know in their heart of hearts that they are pretty. God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize them that way. (Some may think they aren’t pretty, but it’s their conscious mind working. They have quit listening to their heart.) When parents and family tell them they are pretty, daughters hear a ringing endorsement of their heart of hearts. They really are pretty, and it confirms their femaleness and self-respect and reinforces their sense of self-importance.

An absent cultural infrastructure impacts every aspect of a girl’s life. Without a supportive enough background many black women cling to religious totems too tightly. Well, actually a lot of people do this, but the disproportionate amount of worldly chaos influences the divine dogmatic devotion amongst African American women in particular. How can it not? It devalues but sets up females to be sabotaged while still expected to be saviors.

Fashion Bomb Exclusive: Sam Fine on the State of Black Beauty, Beauty Mistakes Women of Color Make, and Makeup Products You Need in Your Arsenal

.I think the biggest beauty mistake is not understanding how to enhance your beauty….I think the biggest mistake is not participating in the game at all.

Operating from such a deficit is something many folks don’t want to admit – let alone change. We can always talk about the depravity antics within Blackistan. It’s more important to focus beyond limitations and dysfunction.

4 comments to Pretty Is As Pretty Does

  • Formavitae

    I agree that it's very important for girls to be told they are pretty. I have a very attractive non-black friend who's always felt ugly (and still feels ugly to this day) because her family criticized her for not having the right look and told her she was ugly for years. It just isn't right. The messages we receive impact how we perceive ourselves.

    As far as cosmetics are concerned, I've always loved cosmetic artistry. However, I don't wear much makeup these days. It isn't because I'm taking myself out of the game. It's because I look FAR MORE YOUTHFUL without it. I'm in my 30s and was recently asked by a 26 yo WM (fine and sweet as can be, btw) whether I was 23 or 24. I told him my age. He couldn't believe it and told me he didn't think I could be any older than 26. 😀 I'm usually mistaken for someone in their early to mid-twenties, and I've even been told I look like I'm in my teens. Personally, I think that is a bit of a s t r e t c h. But, hey, that's what others are telling me, without my solicitation. I find that when I wear a full face of makeup, not only do I look my age, I think I could pass for 3 years older. I'm DEFINITELY not interested in that. So, I usually just wear a little powder to reduce the shine on my face and some blush to give me a nice warm glow. When I want to dress up more, I add colored lip gloss and possibly a little mascara. I really don't need anything else. Lots of BW look beautiful with their natural skin and just don't need many products on the face. But, I'm all for enhancing one's beauty. Each woman must choose what's best for her. Besides, I think a lot of guys are attracted to girls who look fresh with a healthy glow, like they just completed a nice run or something. I don't know. That's just my opinion.

  • Faith

    That is awesome and thank you for sharing a detailed account of your grooming. I know how n certain 'religious' circles young women/girls are shamed into thinking it's 'sinful' to think about one's appearance, girls are burdened with "not tempting" boys [they of course have NO responsibility for behavior], red is the color for harlots and forget about NORMAL exploration of sexuality and male/female interactions. Jezebel is used as a reference for condemnation -- aaaand 'keep your legs closed!' is drummed into girls' heads. Meanwhile MANY of these girls are in unsafe, non-nurturing environments where they have to fend for themselves. predatory males can easily trick, manipulate or force themselves on them…but whose fault is it? The girl's! Back to Sir Guy's post, he distinguishes a difference between 'pretty' as being a birth rite of sorts for every female but other descriptions as adding other layers of responsibilities. I look at it the same way as how from an authentic spiritual place we should consider ourselves loved, wanted and granted talents that define our life's purpose. Obviously we have -- or can have much to contribute to the world. That "pretty" is a girl's armor that protects her self-worth internally. It's not meant to feed arrogance. We see the amount of non-beneficial and negative external messages attacking girls.

  • Faith

    Both highlighted sections are using excerpts from other sites with the links embedded in the heading. I’ve often recommended the WWNH blog.