This is going to be a stream of conscious post. I’m just too tired to make it pretty for you today and I need a media break from all of the chaos from the past few days.
I’m trying to figure out the short version of how to say this: for some of us, if we don’t have the framework to make the changes we want I’m not entirely convinced we can successfully apply BWE (or sustain any forward motion). And I’m not talking about lack of understanding or not trying. I’m talking about external circumstances ripping things apart no matter what we do. That no affirmation or plan of action or discussion or desire to do it can make it happen. That we were just screwed early on in life or left without proper resources that we cannot ever catch up. Like, no matter what.
Which flies in the face of the idea that we can take responsibility, change our mentality and create a better life for ourselves. I’m thinking that may work for some people, but it’s not guaranteed for most of us. It’s like trying to live with a disease that you can’t rid of like HIV (passed on as a kid) or something. You might be able to “manage” it with drug therapy and other stop-gap measures so it doesn’t progress and kill you, but you’re still sick.
YOU didn’t do it, something was done to you and you can’t ever get away from it in its entirety. And I guess that’s also how clinical depression works. It’s like a pebble in your shoe. Sometimes you can deal with the discomfort, sometimes it wipes you out and sometimes you can ignore it completely, but it’s always there ready to mess your life up. Ferguson. Robin Williams’ suicide – and the reaction from people who are not his family.
Before the latest anti-black dysfunction adopted by many black people who have not worked through their color racism and hair texture discrimination, was slapped on top of the current “natural hair” phenom encouraging black women to embrace the hair that grows out of their scalps and it became all about achieving loose waves and ringlets, there was this:
Look! Hair that looks shiny, moisturized with no dry ends or single strand snarls!
AND NOT A MANUFACTURED CURL PATTERN IN SIGHT.
It’s an A-F-R-O.
Just a hairstyle…..
The ONLY act of militancy from wearing a legitimate afro TODAY is doing so in the midst of BLACK PEOPLE!
“I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. I do not mind at all. I do not belong to the sobbing school of Negrohood who hold that nature somehow has given them a lowdown dirty deal and whose feelings are all hurt about it. Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less. No, I do not weep at the world—I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife.”
For months there was a bit of a public shaming attempt at getting SNL creator Lorne Michaels to hire a black woman comic. It had been a number of years since the cast reflected the diversity of the country and one of the black male comics didn’t want to perform female characters in drag anymore. SMH. I was very wary about SNL hiring a random black comedienne with no parameters. Not to mention that SNL was never that diverse, especially compared to other sketch comedy shows like Mad TV (see Deborah Wilson for the level of quality SNL “could not find”). I tuned the show out years ago given I was NOT represented – and if we’re going to give an honest evaluation – when were black women really represented well there?
With much fanfare, SNL announced they were adding a new black woman writer AND performer. A two-fer!! Call me unimpressed, as their recent additions weren’t going to compel me to automatically start watching. Behind the scenes talk had indicated SNL had auditioned numerous funny ladies for several years but would ignore them when it came to making a hiring decision. There was even some intentional deflection and insulting speculation (by the performing dummy in drag) that black women were somehow not qualified! Given that sense of disdain and the poor quality of the black male talent they have on the show, I’m not sure they want stellar talent since the attention could serve as a launching pad to an enterprising performer.
And you don’t have to wait until after you’re 30 to do it! Whether it’s a life change, a rebirth, an awakening or a newly-executed life trajectory not everyone will follow a straight A to Z in achievement. Many people don’t accomplish things until well past a junior life epiphany — but early enough to avoid the potential mid-life crisis that causes distress to others. So, it goes without saying that (in the most favorable outlook) it’s never too late to BE.
Just look at this list of achievers and the ages when they had their breakthroughs to take comfort that if you are still looking for your niche, YOU will FIND it. And if you’re settled in life then be the encouragement to someone else! You never know what how valuable a supportive network is in feeding the fertile ground to someone’s dream no matter what their age or their current life circumstances.
You won’t attract an opportunity without a challenge, and happiness comes hand in hand with sadness. The moment that you realize this balance and observe the perfect equilibrium around you is the day you become liberated. At that moment you will know that the world is perfectly balanced, both within and without. It is then that you are able to manage your own life and no longer be controlled by the praise and blame that often run the lives of those who remain unaware of this mystery. That is when you begin to forge your own destiny, and allow the enlightened part of you that knows this mystery to direct your life; rather than allow the part of you that hopes and fears to run it.