I’m so sad I missed this bit o’ schadenfreude in real time, but thanks to the internet there’s at least a partial archive!
Here’s the curious case of a DudeBro and his girlfriend. Dude claims his girlfriend is not especially attractive compared to the “hot” gals he can find at an online fetish website. He wants them to “try” an open relationship!!
If your sideye is already twitching the way mine was when I spotted this curious attempt at woman juggling/man-sharing messiness, then let’s proceed to the end of this sordid tale with a quickness!
DudeBro wouldn’t directly break up with his girlfriend because:
a) he’s lazy, manipulative and probably figured he could string her along for non-committed interim sex
b) he wanted HER to end things so he could avoid any responsibility for negative emotional fall-out by claiming he “tried” to work with her…..
He admits the relationship was great emotionally BUT he’s online looking at “women” on various websites and gets the idea that he’s missing out on all the supermodels he could be dating and blow up dolls he can play with – if not for that pesky girlfriend expecting his loyalty.
So, he presents his girlfriend with an ultimatum to give into his demands or break up. She’s obvious upset, but agrees to his hijacking and disrespect and like a good little trooper ALSO signs up for this fetish website. Supposedly they have rules in place and inform others of their “arrangement” and DudeBro is excited about his future of endless babes with a backup wifey.
I missed Tedx talk when pioneering black beauty blogger Afrobella first spoke. Lately, I’ve been inspired to do a complete overhaul of my wardrobe. I have to take a moment to recognize the joys and pitfalls of online shopping when you can’t find styles that suit your tastes. The same can be said for online dating! I’ve also been feeling frustrated by what I see when I look in the mirror because I want photo-shopped perfection. I had lost a good amount of weight three years ago by severely restricting my caloric intake and only eating certain foods. When I hit a plateau, the scale would not budge and my narrow lane of food intake rebelled against my foodie-loving tendencies. Lifestyle choices take time, so I’ve had to readjust my expectations and call a truce with myself even while eyeing a goal.
I’m the type of person who falls into an over-analyzing abyss and has to silence a harsh inner critic. I’ve recently experienced a break-through in terms of my outlook. While, it is true we need to be healthier and keep ourselves in proportion, telling yourself everything about your existence is “wrong” until you achieve certain goals is not the way to be “right”. The journey is just that…a journey. Not a sprint. Not a click your heels and throw some pixie dust jaunt without taking that mile-long trip to discovering you.
It’s been a minute or two since I’ve added a new installment to this series, but this was an opportune moment. In other words, I really needed to have something to say! While posts at the main site vary in frequency, you can always find daily conversation at Twitter or Facebook.
Despite some of the more recent upsetting current events, we must keep moving forward. I say this as much for myself as for all of you, that we have to find a way past obstacles and see the best outcomes for ourselves. That’s not easy.
So, after reminding women to be women and stop feeling obligated to be good little soldiers lined up on the battlefields only to be knocked down, reacquaint yourself with your va-va-voom. And you can’t get your sexy on while feeling or being under siege.
This is going to be a stream of conscious post. I’m just too tired to make it pretty for you today and I need a media break from all of the chaos from the past few days.
I’m trying to figure out the short version of how to say this: for some of us, if we don’t have the framework to make the changes we want I’m not entirely convinced we can successfully apply BWE (or sustain any forward motion). And I’m not talking about lack of understanding or not trying. I’m talking about external circumstances ripping things apart no matter what we do. That no affirmation or plan of action or discussion or desire to do it can make it happen. That we were just screwed early on in life or left without proper resources that we cannot ever catch up. Like, no matter what.
Which flies in the face of the idea that we can take responsibility, change our mentality and create a better life for ourselves. I’m thinking that may work for some people, but it’s not guaranteed for most of us. It’s like trying to live with a disease that you can’t rid of like HIV (passed on as a kid) or something. You might be able to “manage” it with drug therapy and other stop-gap measures so it doesn’t progress and kill you, but you’re still sick.
YOU didn’t do it, something was done to you and you can’t ever get away from it in its entirety. And I guess that’s also how clinical depression works. It’s like a pebble in your shoe. Sometimes you can deal with the discomfort, sometimes it wipes you out and sometimes you can ignore it completely, but it’s always there ready to mess your life up. Ferguson. Robin Williams’ suicide – and the reaction from people who are not his family.