NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
How many times can I type this? Can I PLEASE be able to go back to writing posts about Obama’s trip to Africa or the latest antics of Rush Limbaugh? Lord, talking about that spiteful drug-addict would be a relief right now. Oh no. Foolish, indoctrinated, no common sense-having black people take precedence right now. Sorry I am black but I won’t claim them. It’s not that I think I’m better it’s that I see this as a problem…and they don’t. People who are NOT like-minded enough have CAN HAVE NO REAL TIES. Their purpose will lie in getting their point of view across above working together. Everyone cannot and should not think alike, but there has to be a core standard that is understood.
A fundamental fact of Negro American family life is the often reversed roles of husband and wife.
Dorothy Height: “If the Negro woman has a major underlying concern, it is the status of the Negro man and his position in the community and his need for feeling himself an important person, free and able to make his contribution in the whole society in order that he may strengthen his home.
Negro children without fathers flounder — and fail. Moynihan Report
Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys. Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives, RHA seeks to increase access to resources in health & well being, Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as in Financial Literacy. via web site
To use a very popular social media term: BIG FAIL!! They should call themselves, “After You’ve Hooked Up With A DBR You’ll Be Raising Him Alone If You Listen To Us”. So DON’T LISTEN!
Since when do you start an organization that tries to address fatherlessness by focusing on the mothers? Why not have a NATIONAL CAMPAIGN FOR DEAD-BEAT or INADEQUATE FATHERS? Why not call it LET’S HELP OUR WOMEN – BY GETTING THE MEN TO FULFILL THEIR DUTIES? Why focus on the women who’ve been abandoned instead of getting the men back? Do they already know the men aren’t going to be held accountable or are of such low-quality that they won’t even TRY? If the core problem is male inadequacy there is NOTHING a woman can do to resolve that! He has to fix that himself.
This organization is the brainchild of two men, so why aren’t they speaking to other men? I’m all for helping mothers – please do – but it isn’t even called that. It’s called Raising Him Alone. It’s absolutely degrading to women – don’t they see this? Forget about the daughters who are fatherless. They’re being set up to bear the brunt of whatever burden befalls them because all the attention and focus will be given to the male child. If the male needs “rescuing” where does that leave the female child? An orphan. A Cinder Girl. It’s racialized sexism personified. The imbalance of catering to the needs of the male will only reinforce gender discrimination. The male gets the “love” and the daughter gets what exactly? It reminds me of that expression that I realize indicates the disease: love your sons, but raise your daughters. Apparently girls can figure it out on their own – except when they’re blamed as adults for making poor choices in men. Yeah right!
- Women can NOT successfully raise male children to be men without a MAN present.
- Women can NOT successfully raise female children without an adequate male role model.
*By the way this isn’t a dig at LGBT parents (or single mothers). I am mostly focusing on hetero parents but I’d still say both sets of genders are best served by having great sets of both genders as role models.
This is what creates DBRs. Then the cycle repeats. It stands for Damaged Beyond Repair. TM Evia’s blog. Which is a person, usually a male who brings new meaning to word dysfunctional and takes out his inferiority complex and pain on unsuspecting (usually black) women. So a DBR isn’t always racially or gender based. It’s about the behavior, but the behavior tends to be displayed mostly by black males – because of all of the above.
They’re not even trying to have a campaign that promotes marriage, opening up the social circles for these women to meet non-black men, tools for attracting quality men, or other survival skills. It’s a war out there for many of these women (think Dunbar Village, Hovey Street murders, even Jennifer Hudson’s family). Don’t “prepare” them to be alone. Being alone means they have no protection from predators. What about the quality of life for the CHILD that’s left behind? What about their needs? What are they going to do, tell the kid to just suck it up?
This is a political issue by the way, but when Obama dared to open his mouth about this black people stuck out their lip complaining that he was airing “dirty laundry”, how they didn’t like the “tone” and that he was doing it to impress whites that he could be “tough on blacks”.
Well when you’re wearing your dirty underwear outside your clothes ANYBODY can see it.
Children raised by never-married mothers are seven times more likely to be poor when compared to children raised in intact married families. Heritage.org
Public assistance doesn’t prevent a child from slipping into poverty.
There are no shotgun weddings anymore because no one’s looking out for the women.
Two incomes are still better than one. Even if it’s large. Jobs can be lost.
Celebrities are not role models. Let’s not model ourselves after them.
This isn’t about white people or what they think or being compared to them.
If mom is at work and dad is not much more than a sperm donor who takes care of the child? Or even if he’s a dad, he’s a telephone dad, an every other weekend dad – you can’t raise a child over the telephone.
There was a time I really hated the Moynihan Report because I thought it was misogynistic and judgmental.
Now that the OOW (out of wedlock) birth rate was estimated to be 72% for 2007 by the CDC with a prior 5% growth rate every year between 2002-2007 where they listed the OOW rate at 70% for 2006, that would put the current rate around 80% for 2009. The official report won’t be released until 2011 for data collected between 2006-2010. Anybody who wants to argue semantics is free to dispute my calculations, but even 72% is TOO HIGH!
It was at 35% in 1965 when Moynihan also wrote:
In this new period the expectations of the Negro Americans will go beyond civil rights. Being Americans, they will now expect that in the near future equal opportunities for them as a group will produce roughly equal results, as compared with other groups. This is not going to happen. Nor will it happen for generations to come unless a new and special effort is made.
There are two reasons. First, the racist virus in the American blood stream still afflicts us: Negroes will encounter serious personal prejudice for at least another generation. Second, three centuries of sometimes unimaginable mistreatment have taken their toll on the Negro people. The harsh fact is that as a group, at the present time, in terms of ability to win out in the competitions of American life, they are not equal to most of those groups with which they will be competing. Individually, Negro Americans reach the highest peaks of achievement. But collectively, in the spectrum of American ethnic and religious and regional groups, where some get plenty and some get none, where some send eighty percent of their children to college and others pull them out of school at the 8th grade, Negroes are among the weakest.
The most difficult fact for white Americans to understand is that in these terms the circumstances of the Negro American community in recent years has probably been getting worse, not better.
Indices of dollars of income, standards of living, and years of education deceive. The gap between the Negro and most other groups in American society is widening.
The fundamental problem, in which this is most clearly the case, is that of family structure. The evidence — not final, but powerfully persuasive — is that the Negro family in the urban ghettos is crumbling. A middle-class group has managed to save itself (not anymore), but for vast numbers of the unskilled, poorly educated city working class the fabric of conventional social relationships has all but disintegrated. There are indications that the situation may have been arrested in the past few years, but the general post-war trend is unmistakable.
So long as this situation persists, the cycle of poverty and disadvantage will continue to repeat itself.
As long as the situation persists the dysfunction will continue, grow, balloon, etc. Never did I think other black people would try to NORMALIZE it. Did they just throw in the towel or are they really that foolish? This organization is planning a tour. The had three mothers of rap artists speak in NYC on Saturday. I’m still waiting to know why they are an authority on child-rearing and their sons are pillars of the “community”.
Where’s the shame? Where’s the outrage? People want to focus on a stupid club that won’t let kids swim there but ignore what those kids are COMING “HOME” TO!
Did we need a push to send our elders to therapy to try to resolve the anger, frustration, inadequacy whatever wounds were still there from the racism? Did we need to keep neighborhoods and business separate so blacks were forced to band together and keep a minimum income level for the collective?
I have no idea, but dang it as I read this report with a totally different mindset I want to stick a pin in him but Moynihan was correct about a lot of what he wrote. He was still displaying racist tendencies but I guess I can forget about finding anti-racism activism here. The point is getting the cold slap of reality. The point is dismantling the indoctrination of race loyalty over common sense. The point is to stop looking solely at how white people behave towards blacks and fix the damage that blacks are doing to each other!!!
So what did all the black (male) “leaders” of that time decide to do? They ignored this sage advice, vilified the report and called him a liar. Well he’s dead now but who’s getting the last laugh?
Nonetheless, at the center of the tangle of pathology is the weakness of the family structure. Once or twice removed, it will be found to be the principal source of most of the aberrant, inadequate, or antisocial behavior that did not establish, but now serves to perpetuate the cycle of poverty and deprivation.
We SURVIVED so much. We are a STRONG and RESILIENT people. We can turn things around, but not without a REALITY CHECK. (Ok who am I kidding…this is more of the last call at the end of the night. Get your last drink on before it’s over.)
Telling women to expect to and prepare for raising children with no man present and no backup is like telling a five year old it’s ok to go play in traffic.
What a fool believes
No wise man has the power to reason away – Doobie Brothers