My Black Woman’s Empowerment Message For the Venters, Naysayers & Flat Earth Theorists

Enough already! 

Lately some of the more seemingly mundane posts (refreshers on previous conversations) I’ve published have generated a lot of attention – and opposition. Oh a few malcontents may have gotten through but you haven’t seen the unapproved comments that I will not remotely entertain. It’s been interesting to say the least. I’ve also noticed I’m getting new readers and some first-time commenters. Thanks! I always want to be striving to reach a wider audience and my most recent stats prove that. Again, thanks! This isn’t about me, it’s about YOU out there in the blogosphere trying to find your way through a sea of trash to clean waters and safer shores. To free your mind, follow your bliss and live well. 

2011 is here more or less. What type of year are you planning for yourself or will you allow circumstances to dictate your response? It’s time to step our game up mentally to prepare for an amazing year. It’s available to you if you want it badly enough and are willing to position yourself for it. We may stumble (a lot) but we can get back up. For those already secure a little guidance might be very beneficial if you feel so inclined to share. For those of us out of the Matrix: we must press on toward our goals or give up and let the moss grow over us. It’s DO or DIE. 

Just as women of different ages (who may also be enjoying a wedded bliss) might have greater appeal within their peer group those of us who are unmarried and child-free also offer a certain perspective to the empowerment message. I’m not suggesting there is one message that fits all scenarios of an individual woman’s life either. As always this is a case of making considerations about what has appeal and meaning for you. Those of us still getting to our destinations have specific insights that other may relate to well.  Whatever our individual journey may look like there are fundamental basics we generally agree on regarding moving past any placement of physical and mental limitations on the lives of black women. It’s the combined messaging from all angles that fit into a larger puzzle to offer a clear view. 

This started off as a comment in reply to a few readers of the Black Women And The “F” Word  post at the Beyond Black & White blog but it was long enough to be a separate post here.  My post Are Black Women Still Blowing Their Chances With White Men was linked by a reader as a complementary piece but it was the attitude of some of the respondents that gave me pause. Aside from a useless desire to employ curse words and turn into the Hulk I’m going to Relax & Release instead.  Since I wrote this post before Thanksgiving it would seem a few bloggers/blog participants alike have noticed similar trends. 

Those who practice yogic traditions may be familiar with Pranamaya and Manomaya koshas which basically cover the mind and body. What we think manifests itself, stress can harm us and not paying attention to what’s going on externally in our surroundings and what we absorb internally can have positive or negative consequences. 

I’m being reminded again that the blogosphere may be the conduit for expression but many of us are invested in dismantling or reinforcing ideologies that work against black women but benefit others. Clearly, my latest essays have hit a nerve. Why, I‘ve received a huge spike in blog traffic to prove it.  Gee..thanks but a funny thing happened on the way to the Lion’s Den. Some of us black women decided we didn’t like the idea of being devoured and decided to slay the beast instead. 

I suppose the cowardly cousins to obvious Internet Ike & Ikette Turners are the Naysayers and Flat Earth Theorists. While the Naysayers may be on their way to becoming ITTs they may lack the cleverness or vitriol necessary for the written domestic violence they wish to engage in.  The Flat Earth Theorists stay focused on everything that isn’t possible and will live and die by a code that insists any black woman venturing past their comfort zones and familiar but barren territory will fall into some unknown abyss. The Naysayers are simply lazy people who want to throw rocks and hide. They don’t actually do anything but whine about the need to be saved first as a prerequisite for doing better. 

They don’t care how many black women are in fact already living in an abyss amongst cannibals that are gathering to…cannibalize them!  Here’s a quick breakdown of what I’ve observed: 

  • Those that will insincerely tell black women their oppression and/or suffering is all their fault (by doing too much, not enough or the wrong way) while blocking their journey to course-correction and freedom or a figment of their imagination.
  • Those who falsely claim there’s nothing to see here (why are you talking about this you know the earth is FLAT).
  • The Envious and Spiteful —  I’m doing well but I don’t want anyone else doing well so let me go spread some discord.
  • The Fake Confusion (Whatddaya mean my hand is in the cookie jar? No, it’s not!).
  • The I’m Just Trying to Have A Conversation How Dare You Call Me Out — If you are so opposed to the message why are you here? Do you have to send me 8 messages on Twitter for a one-sided conversation about why you don’t like the post and why you won’t be coming back? BYE! You are a petulant child seeking attention! There’s a vast blogosphere out there.  Read and comment elsewhere.
  • I’m So Glad I Can Say Whatever I Want – You’re the ‘good’ Negro blog hostess while those others are bad. They have expectations and standards I don’t want to adhere to.

Some people are so invested in trying to keep black women from making a change for the betterment of their lives.  If others can do it, it reflects poorly on them and shows how they’ve settled for mediocrity. 

Too bad! 

The comments have been interesting to say the least. Amongst them I’ve noticed those who seem very focused on reinforcing what black women can’t do. I’ve taken note of the reader who identifies as a WM telling BW to jump through hoops. This is the type of male any reasonably minded woman of any race would want to steer clear from. The other issue I see here is the lack of understanding (and perhaps compassion) what the landscape has been for most AA black women, specifically. I think there are certain ethnic cultural indoctrination tactics at play that has impacted them more than other BW in navigating how to move away from all-black settings physically and mentally. There were readers who specificed their pleasure at being able to vent without challenge or how inconvenient it was for them to find out other black women had been oppressed and the impact of such.

Call me an elitist but if you are a black women (** living in the United States) and have only heard of Zora Neale Hurston after entering college and didn’t come from an impoverished background or a deficient education what were you being taught about the lives AND contributions of black women born in the United States? Are you African-American and proud of your heritage or do you look down on other black women? Of course one could argue many people discarded Zora as she had been laid to rest in an unmarked grave. Cast-off and forgotten – but isn’t that the point?!!! We have a plethora of African-American women who’ve tapped into the cultural zeitgeist to show some of the less flattering aspects but who have spoken the truth (Alice Walker, Pearl Cleage & Ntozake Shange immediately come to mind) to arm us with valuable knowledge in the hopes that the next group of women would be able to address it and avoid the same problems. The lives of black women were meant to improve not fall into the gutter. How utterly unconcerned and uninvolved must some be to not care. I shouldn’t be surprised but to read it in black and white….is very telling. 

All of this reminds me of the scene from The Matrix when Neo first speaks to the Oracle and she tells him he’s not “The One” and to have a cookie then he’d feel better. He didn’t believe in ‘that destiny crap’ and was waiting for something. He was waiting for permission to believe in himself and even though others told him he could do “impossible” things he had to know it himself before he could act on it. We don’t have to wait or waste!

If you as a BW are already “out” of the Matrix but cannot understand the struggles and learning curve for other women who are still in or on their way out, how does your freedom for venting help those women who may want to participate and need assistance in learning something valuable? Perhaps if others took the time, energy and devotion to create their own blogging forums they might realize the amount of work required to build one from scratch, the careful selection of topics and the money and time it takes to maintain and build it. 

We are offering valuable, well-researched and thought-out information using the latest technological advances. We are the cutting edge. We are the future and the future is HERE. Social media is the medium offering the widest distribution and impact to reach people.  Perhaps others need to understand why it’s necessary to identify genuine readers, people with questions, those who may have counterbalances but are still respectful and those who are intent on destroying any productive exchange of valuable information that will save the lives of black women. Perhaps if they had been actively engaged in these forums for a number of years (as BB&W is only a few months strong) they would have noticed how other bloggers who were less diligent have had their entire blogs destroyed by the opposition to stop the message of freedom from indoctrination getting out. Perhaps if they saw their role in either contributing to or taking away from these efforts they might not be so flip about how other blog hosts run their forums. 

Some of these forums share readers but the focus at every forum is still unique to that blog administrator. Each person can set the rules for engagement at their own blog as they see fit. Poisonous messages cause permanent damage to those who have ingested them and the remedy must be dispensed swiftly and accurately. To disrespect the work and standards of other black women shows the height of disrespect and lack of regard for what many of us are trying to do: encourage black women to live freely the way other women of West do and to seek out the most viable mate for themselves if they want a family. They have to be prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. by laying down their burdens and seeing the forest for the trees. If some women don’t understand that, it would appear they are really not interested in seeing the elevation of other black women but are more focused on their own escapism or enjoyment. That is not an ally that is an infiltrator who may be trying to block the movement of other black women in fact and should be noted accordingly. 

Perhaps my assessment is far off the mark but for those who’ve been participating in these forums for quite some time there are plenty of “joiners”  and “freedom callers” who do NOT want ALL black women to be elevated.  The other trend I’m seeing is the incessant complaining by some BW about what other BW must do to counterbalance the negative campaign enacted by indoctrinated BW for years about how they are the “nuthin but a BM type” and how bit of insanity that applies to ALL BW which also isn’t true. 

If the loudest people are the most insane then yes the normal ones are going to have to distinguish themselves very decisively. Since those that do get to reap the rewards with the goal of a happy, stable relationship with a quality mate then how much quicker those efforts should be! There are so many tangible and intangible benefits available to the women that position themselves to mate with the most viable partners that it’s a no-brainer. It’s like investing $50 (when you may only have $5 on hand and have to scrounge for the rest) to get a $5M payout. If you are part of a sub-group of a non-dominant and frankly decaying group where you’ve been mule/mammy/martyr or told to limit yourself or focusing on fighting white hegemony by focusing on “racial discrimination” as a white issue while ignoring the worst perpetrators of black woman bashing/dismissal/subjugation/slavery (BLACK MALES) then you also need to get your thinking in line with reality. 

Beware The Arm-Chair Intelligentsia…. 

Are Black Women Aware There’s A Spiritual …. 

Further Conversation For Those Black Women Who Put Race…

22 Replies to “My Black Woman’s Empowerment Message For the Venters, Naysayers & Flat Earth Theorists”

  1. Hi Faith,

    I love your blog I posted under a different username it was called Cheyenne but I lost access to it somehow..LOL!

    I wanted to let you know I've reading your blog for about a 1 year plus and your work is truly valuable and needed. I started off first reading Evia's and then onto other blogs as well and as a result I've been making changes and doing things a lot differently in my life. I haven't always gotten the indoctrinated messages some but not toxic ones so for that I am grateful but like many of you I've always questioned why is it that black women's lives were always being defined by everyone else accept us I could never understand this but I do.

    One change I've made is I no longer attend typical black church in the hood. I go to a very diverse church in my local area (suburb) and it's only 20 mins away instead of traveling 30-45 mins into the city. I enjoy the Pastor's messages they are clear and easy to understand without all the theatre that goes on in most black churches and most of all they have been very welcoming and friendly so appreciate that the most and next year I graduate from college I am getting my Masters Degree I have one course left.

  2. Okay here is the book title I read about over at Christelyn's site;

    Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling the Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama [Hardcover]

    Sophia Nelson (Author)

    I pre-ordered it and it's in my cart at Amazon.

    1. I edited your link out because I included it in the post. I'm also adding a separate purchase page as a follow-up to my "Help A Sista Out" cause next week.

  3. Faith, I apologize in advance for posting this comment here..BUT..do we all remember a previous post where you talked about "Are Asian wives trophy wives..", well because of the talk here and other BWE blogs I have thought about this issue over and over again.

    And in PARTICULAR I have given much thought to this idea of our BW feminization..and how this femininization is the MOST POWERFUL card any-ANY woman has..and I have been taking account of articles both large and small out there in the media world. Taking in bits of info here and there, and making mental notes about how I am perceived, the vibes I am giving off every day and everywhere I go. So I have to comment about the gratitude I have to you and other BWE bloggers for all the thought PRODUCING information being shared here. In particular the new book written by the black woman concerning the "F Word" and Black women..I dont have the link right now but will get it and comment again.

    But the reason I came back to the blog in this instance has to do with the CENTRAL issue of how the Alpha males provide protection for the women they deem desirable. I point to this recent story at Gawker as my example;

    http://gawker.com/5702294/cbs-early-show-fires-ju

    Now the reason for this link is this- as I have previously pointed out Julie Chen is an Asian woman who dated a man who is the epitome of the Alpha male -powerful head of CBS -- Les Moonves. Regardless of the fact that Les was married when he met Julie, he moved heaven and earth to accquire a quick divorce so that he could marry the Asian woman. And now ( concerning the link above) he has provided a new show for Julie to helm (The Talk @CBS) this new show just debuted a few days ago I believe…and lo and behold a few days after Thanksgiving word comes out ( leaked really) that the main stays back over at The Early Show at CBS have been FIRED!!

    Yes I do realize that those jobs in the media come and go at the drop of a hat and at the whims of the head of the networks..but ladies guess what Julie Chen is married to the head of the network, so you better believe she is ALWAYS going to have a SOFT LANDING..PROTECTION..PROVISION!!!, whether it be in front of the camera ( Big Brother, The Talk ) or behind the camera ( maybe someday we will hear of her hosting or heading some new online venture a blog/ezine etc).

    Just thought I would share my little insight.

  4. It was a pleasure reading this post and the subsequent comments from the other BWE bloggers I follow. Please please PLEASE keep up your very important work. Seriously, our very survival depends on it.

  5. Faith, I applaud you for calling a spade a spade. In my 40+ years on this earth, I have seen all kinds of BWE forums that start out as full of strength and empowerment, and all about supporting each other, but give it a few months, and they turn out to be just like any other forum. Yet, I torture myself by joining these blogs in the hopes that these young women will be different, but end up getting an inbox full of the latest viral video, dream men, etc., which in my opinion, has nothing to do with empowerment and fall short of the mark.

    I agree with foreverloyal, -- those that support BWE need to put their money where their mouth is! Sadly, those that promote empowerment who look for support from others who claim to support empowerment, end up hearing crickets. But send an email about Coach having a sale – well then! It is sad to see our young women place “empowerment” in everything but where it should come from – the inside. But, in order to become empowered, I believe a person must first face some not so nice truths about themselves.

    I will be starting an empowerment webinar series in January, and I am very curious to see who from any of these BWE forums will show up.

  6. I believe BWE blogs have already been of great benefit to Black women WHO WANT TO BE HELPED. That is the key — if you don't want to be helped or if you feel that you have nothing to change, BWE blogs are not for you.

    And, we can disagree without being disagreeable. Of course, there are some things we read in BWE blogs that we all may not agree with, but the key is that BW need to figure out what can be done now to make for a better future for us. Apart from BWE blogs, where else can you get information that is helpful and focused on Black women?

    I hope that BWE blog writers are not getting discouraged. Sad to say, if that happened, the Ikettes would win.

  7. Hi Faith,

    This is my first time commenting on your blog, though I often lurk. I too was a part of that conversation. I share the sentiments that were expressed below. I thought it was very impolite to make such comments about other blogs in someone else's house. If that poster had a problem, she should take it to the source -- or as I had suggested, don't read those blogs. It's really that easy, since the message is so disturbing to you. Even though I have not personally experienced the mishaps of many bw here in the US, I am not blind. I have been on other non-bwe blogs and I have seen the spirit killing poison that is directed towards bw. I cannot tell another blogstress how to run her house, but I felt the need to state that there are many vulnerable bw who are reading these blogs, who are not at stage that most of the commenters are at. They are in negative environments where they receive messages designed to kill their spirit. Advanced bw may be immune to the poison, and recognize BS right off the bat, but these bw aren't, and I think that some find it very difficult to walk in their shoes.

    1. Robynee,

      I agree. i am seriously considering removing myself from ANY BWE blogs that allow spirit killing poision. Its just not the place IMO.

  8. Faith,

    I was apart of that convo at BB$W and I was pissed off at the audacity of some posters to put down BWE bloggers. Its like what the hell are they doing? I did in fact speak my mind about how offended i was about their putting down of BWE bloggers. You don't have to like the message of some or even their delivery or platform, but the fact they are doing something to help and encourage BW means a lot since NEVER in history has ANY entity ever reached out to encourage and inform BW of the things we can accomplish through freeing our minds and bodies from captivity. Something NO ONE On this planet has YET to do! If BW can't reach out and give of ourselves to help the next then who will.

    i believe halima put it perfectly when in one of her responses to a commenter she said 'just b/c you graduated from kindergarden doesn't mean other people have". I caqnnot even believe theone poster said that coming to BWE forums has made her life worse. LOL. unbelievable! The people who always bitch and moan about what others are doing usually aren't doing anything themselves to help others.

    i hate this "all about me" attitude some BW carry. There is no place on BWE forums for this kind of thought process. The fact is you guys give of your PERSONAL time and energy to help BW.

    How dare they! I cannot imagine the time it takes for you all to run a blog, censor out the ingrates, bring thought-provoking posts, offer FREE informatoin, encourage, promote, live your own individuals lives. i cannot IMAGINE what time and energy it must take to be a BWE blogger. i have to admit, i couldn't doit. it has to take a great amount of discipline, time management and PASSION to do this everyday. Then to have some ungrateful BW shoot you down for your efforts is so nauseating. There are people who would have to pay to get the kind of infornmation you ladies put out there for us.

    I mean what do they want. the fact is BWE is not for every BW. My thing is if certain BW are perturbed with the message b/c it doens't apply to them then LEAVE. If they escaped indoctrination WONDERFUL -- there are millions more of BW who haven't and these BWE sites have been absolutely valuable in helping so many of us hash out our thoughts, anger etc.

    I couldn't believe my eyes reading that.

    1. Note…I'm responding in chronical order…

      Khadija: Cosign! Feel free to use the term liberally.

      Neecy: Thanks for your comment. I have a few other things to say but that's going in an upcoming post I'm editing right now. I wrote a few posts in advance so I get some other projects completed but may need to do a little reshuffling.

      Robynne: Yes, a lot of women haven't connected that all of these things tie together and their dismissals can be a problem, but it still reiterates that every message isn't for everybody. As well as "all skin folk ain't kin folk" another Neale Hurston gem that still applies!

      Patricia: Of course those who are seeking some confirmation that the world is ROUND are looking to avoid the Flat Earth Theorists and their ilk. We don't want the detractors and belittlers to ruin it for those who've decided that drinking sand is not the same thing as drinking water.

      Ivette: Welcome and thank you. When you are ready to launch please don't be a stranger!

      Viv: Thanks Viv. I have some personal matters to ensure are covered (as I'm not a "mule" to blogging) but I have no intention of going anywhere.

      MsMellody: Mrs. Moonves is always going to make certain she's covered. So should more black women.

  9. Faith & Halima,

    Faith, you said, "Flat Earth Theorists"

    {chuckling} I like that; I'll have to borrow that expression from you sometime.

    Halima, you said, "in truth sometimes i withhold from saying certain things that come to me or i want to say (out of my personal ‘I feel like saying this’ place), because I think of the wider impact to bw, sadly I think many bw who have benefited from BWE do not count the cost to others when they ‘mouth off’. They are wrapped up in their little worlds just like babies, thinking of themselves and how they have or have not been pleased or pleasured by the latest post or BWE activity, just like its all just about them! ‘I am the center of the Universe, and your every post must please me’, attitude is present among many beneficiaries of the BWE work.

    I think this is what separates the big girls from the babies; the ability to think ‘this thing is bigger than me and my little hurt feelings or need for daily entertainment and amusement etc etc’."

    I agree. Immaturity is the driving motivation behind many of the potshots at BWE bloggers that some of those women from that particular Beyond Black & White conversation chose to engage in.

    I also believe that there are some other ingredients that create that sort of behavior:

    (1) AAs generally don't understand the concept of solidarity. AA women understand it least of all when it involves solidarity with other BW.

    (2) There's a LOT of internalized sexism among BW. So, the idea of doing things that undermine other BW doesn't bother a lot of BW. Those type of BW feel entitled to sabotage other BW, if doing so provides them with entertainment or an ego-boost. They don't care if they're harming other BW's interests. Or spreading discouragement and confusion among often vulnerable BW. And, considering the various negative statistics, BW overall are vulnerable.

    Those type of BW don't care about the damage they do to other BW because—at the end of the day—they don't have any affection for other BW.

    And since they feel entitled to sabotage other BW whenever it amuses them, they get very angry when anybody calls them on their Crabs In A Barrel behaviors toward other BW. [Yes, I'm using this "crabs in the barrel" expression yet again. It's just so perfect for describing the behaviors we're talking about. :-)]

    (3) There will always be opportunists looking to benefit from the SAME social movements that they badmouth and backstab. That's why the hecklers from that BB&W conversation keep coming back to the same BWE blogs that they claim to have no use for. This is the unfortunate price tag of keeping one's blog public—you end up helping the same ingrates who are badmouthing your work.

    So far, I've kept my blog open to the public because I think about the Black women Betty Chambers described in her comment when she said, "Yet, part of me feels sorry for the young sista who’ll come online and miss lifesaving jewels of knowledge."

    SAlthough, I've been considering switching over to a private blog because there's certain extremely high-value, life-enhancing information that I don't want to share with Naysayers or Flat Earth Theorists. I certainly don't want to share this level of information with the backstabbers and badmouthers. I've haven't made up my mind yet. We'll see what happens.

    (4) In addition to the bad faith motives, a lot of modern BW have no experience with activism—and so, they're naive and careless with their public comments. It doesn't occur to them that the Internet Ike Turners who hate them (as well as the rest of BW) will gleefully point to and use their little potshot public comments about BWE bloggers.

    The above nonsense comes with the territory with doing activism among a confused, oppressed, and often SELF-oppressing group of people.

    And the beat goes on! LOL!

  10. Le sigh.

    You know Faith, I've seen some wonderful, thoughtful, and excellent BWE blogs disappear or go behind a membership wall. I cannot blame them.

    Yet, part of me feels sorry for the young sista who'll come online and miss lifesaving jewels of knowledge.

    I have a gf who was doing a lot to help another woman. She discovered that this chick was stealing from her: knives, forks, and anything that wasn't nailed down.

    All my friend wanted to know was, "Why couldn't she ask?" Because the thief thought she did nothing wrong!

    Sometimes the truth is that no good deed shall go unpunished.

    Happy Holidays. And now, it's time for me to take my break….

    1. Betty: This is why my BS-detection alarm goes off and I feel compelled to take a stand. Some of these women are absolute ingrates and wouldn't be able to withstand the disapproval while they're trying to disrupt our forward motion. The nerve! We see the wreckage of some great blogs gone or less frequent posts from women who must unplug -- which is their right. I don't care about those who add no value, it's the message that's important. Anyhoo…moving on.

  11. So much to chew on here faith!

    If some women don’t understand that it would appear they are really not interested in seeing the elevation of other black women but are more focused on their own escapism or enjoyment.

    in truth sometimes i withhold from saying certain things that come to me or i want to say (out of my personal 'I feel like saying this' place), because I think of the wider impact to bw, sadly I think many bw who have benefited from BWE do not count the cost to others when they 'mouth off'. They are wrapped up in their little worlds just like babies, thinking of themselves and how they have or have not been pleased or pleasured by the latest post or BWE activity, just like its all just about them! ‘I am the center of the Universe, and your every post must please me’, attitude is present among many beneficiaries of the BWE work.

    I think this is what separates the big girls from the babies; the ability to think 'this thing is bigger than me and my little hurt feelings or need for daily entertainment and amusement etc etc'.

    When you look at it really, those BWE (bloggers and commetors) that are affecting lives continue to have the discipline and maturity to see this work as more than just about them, but are aware of the wider importance, great importance of the BWE work. I know of many who have key reason or provocation to just give up but kept at it because they know how important what we do is, that its not really just about and their little feelings, 'projects' and avenues to shine and be known and feted.

    My prayer is that the upcoming BWE activists don’t get put off or discouraged by self centered bahviour and small mindedness of

    bw who do not appreciate the wider context and key purpose of BWE work beyond how amused they were by the recent blog post!

    I was thinking the other day about how it appears that a subsection of bw have fallen into a second level even third of ‘inception’ as in the film.

    at this level they don’t even trully know what serves to their benefit and left to them , they would take a sledge hammer to the very things that are seeking to rescue and elevate bw. That is how dangerous some bw have become in their lack of awareness and self-centeredness. Other bw operate at a level of awareness where they can make fast connections and links about how a certain thing serves their benefit!

    Anyway in this thanksgiving season, I believe that those of us who have poured out and blessed the rest of black womanhood have earned the right to go to the creator/God and ask for favour over our lives and personal endeavours because we should not loose the reward we are due.

    So think of something big Faith and believe you will receive!

    1. Halima: Thank you. As one of the pioneers I of course defer to you and your contributions. I recall a few of your essays and can quote important sections of them now. The mouthing off does annoy me, but it's par for the course. I'm not going to let it go unchallenged though. I could really use a "favour" right now as you put it and would be very grateful to be its recepient!

  12. Faith: "My post Are Black Women Still Blowing Their Chances With White Men was linked by a reader as a complementary piece but it was the attitude of some of the respondents that gave me pause. Aside from a useless desire to employ curse words and turn into the Hulk I’m going to Relax & Release instead."

    Hodan: I was the one who posted your link over @ Christelyn site, because I wanted to respond to the WM who said black women should approach men and others who were incessantly claiming BW have no issues to address for their betterment.

    Faith: "Call me an elitist but if you are a black women and have only heard of Zora Neale Hurston after entering college and didn’t come from an impoverished background or a deficient education what were you being taught about the lives AND contributions of black women born in the United States? Are you African-American and proud of your heritage or do you look down on other black women?"

    Hodan: I can't speak for American university life, but here in Canada everything is categorized under a given ethnic or religious topic. For instance, when I was studying the feminist movements or suffrage movement, no women of color was ever part of the literature, I had to personally find it on my own the role black women played in the feminist movement before and after the 1960s.

    So many time, its not about being ashamed or ignorant about your heritage, rather its the reality that the whole education system is based in exclusionary racialist line. You have to take African American studies to learn about the history, you have to take women classes to learn about gender equity, etc, etc. If you are coming from upper or middle class educated background and happen to be black (whether Caribbean or African background), its rare would your history or that of your fellow black women in America is addressed in general courses. Until we make education something beyond race and religion, it would be hard to have a more informed public regardless of their race.

    Faith: "If you as a BW are already “out” of the Matrix but cannot understand the struggles and learning curve for other women who are still in or on their way out, how does your freedom for venting help those women who may want to participate and need assistance in learning something valuable?"

    Hodan: You can correct me on this, but I'm assuming you are referring to some of the commenters who indicated they did not know we BW were looked upon as 'unfeminine' and 'unattractive'. I think the issue comes to the fact that not every black women have lived the same experience, including African American women who do not see themselves in negative light whether they are dating inter-racially or not.

    To some of us, the question is, for how long can we dwell on our negative image and painful memories before we start being proactive and coming up with solutions instead of endless victimization? Perhaps some of us are in a harry to get to the fix, while others are still not aware they live in the 'matrix' so to speak. There is NO one perfect path to self realization and personal freedom and we should be patient with each other and try to realize many of our fellow sisters are still struggling.

    1. Hodan: I know you linked my post and I have no problem with that. This post is addressing what I see is a) further pushback from discussing indoctrination and the negative treatment of black women because some black women who are living well don't want know about it or address it in any way and b) simply because they're being "inconvenienced" they're then going to go to other blogs to complain. This apathy is the flip side of those who will directly oppose the message.

      As to my comment about Zora Neale Hurston and the general lack of knowledge of the contributions that African-American have made, clearly those who grew up outside the United States would have a learning curve. At the end of the day though if you're living here, benefitting from the blood & sacrifice of AA women then you should at least know who some of the key contributors to our "living well" motto are who've paved the way. Besides, I am from the US and that -- amongst other things -- is my baseline perspective.

      This is bigger than one person, but addressing the the overall attitudes at play, attitudes that are one of contempt and disrespect -- and laziness at not finding out.

      I am also aware that everyone has a different heritage and life experience and journey as I indicated in my post. None of that changes anything I've discussed. It only proves many will seek to benefit without putting in any effort whatsoever. Others don't care. That's fine, but I'm not going to be silent about what I've observed.

      Just so that we're clear I do not require agreement (yours or anyone else's for that matter) but I can certainly expect a minimum amount of respect for the work many of us are doing. Those who are seeking to be entertained or can't fathom a social evolution are useless to me. The situations many of us are discussing have REAL life and death consequences and don't exist in a vacuum. This is also why I chose to discuss this in my forum. Thanks.

  13. **We interrupt this blog posting for an important announcement**

    The holiday shopping season is in full swing, and NOW is the time for all the supporters of BWE work to put their money where their mouths are.

    Now is the time to support blog hosts by buying their books as gifts for friends (or yourself!) Now is the time to head over to Etsy.com and find a sista who's whipping up homemade products. Buy them as gifts.

    Now's the time to buy a Rissi Palmer or Angel Taylor CD.

    Now's the time to hit up Loose ID for Roslyn's latest release.

    Now's the time to order homemade cookies from that sista you know who bakes up batches to sell every holiday season.

    Now is the time.

    http://foreverloyal.wordpress.com/2010/11/17/lets

  14. Faith, it seems like it has been a very busy Thanksgiving weekend. I would like to give thanks to you, and the other BWE bloggers I have begun reading for your much needed efforts. I also would like to thank you for the links to other blogs/sites that I would never have come across. There are so many voices in the media that are so negative and happy to maintain bw in our current state. It seems that the BWE movement may be nearing critical mass so to speak if the attacks/IIT/Ikettes and the like are stepping up their rhetoric. Your blog & the others linked are truly a path to escaping from the dysfunctional lunacy that has destroyed the bc. You can't do better unless you have someone who has been there to help lead you through the wilderness. All of these BWE blogs/sites are just that, a beacon to help guide those willing to take the chance that maybe there is a better way for me to live my life. Information, not ignorance, is power. Acting on correct information with the idea of helping bw make better more informed decisions will ultimately make a tremendous difference for a great many bw.

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