Lately some of the more seemingly mundane posts (refreshers on previous conversations) I’ve published have generated a lot of attention – and opposition. Oh a few malcontents may have gotten through but you haven’t seen the unapproved comments that I will not remotely entertain. It’s been interesting to say the least. I’ve also noticed I’m getting new readers and some first-time commenters. Thanks! I always want to be striving to reach a wider audience and my most recent stats prove that. Again, thanks! This isn’t about me, it’s about YOU out there in the blogosphere trying to find your way through a sea of trash to clean waters and safer shores. To free your mind, follow your bliss and live well.
2011 is here more or less. What type of year are you planning for yourself or will you allow circumstances to dictate your response? It’s time to step our game up mentally to prepare for an amazing year. It’s available to you if you want it badly enough and are willing to position yourself for it. We may stumble (a lot) but we can get back up. For those already secure a little guidance might be very beneficial if you feel so inclined to share. For those of us out of the Matrix: we must press on toward our goals or give up and let the moss grow over us. It’s DO or DIE.
Just as women of different ages (who may also be enjoying a wedded bliss) might have greater appeal within their peer group those of us who are unmarried and child-free also offer a certain perspective to the empowerment message. I’m not suggesting there is one message that fits all scenarios of an individual woman’s life either. As always this is a case of making considerations about what has appeal and meaning for you. Those of us still getting to our destinations have specific insights that other may relate to well. Whatever our individual journey may look like there are fundamental basics we generally agree on regarding moving past any placement of physical and mental limitations on the lives of black women. It’s the combined messaging from all angles that fit into a larger puzzle to offer a clear view.
This started off as a comment in reply to a few readers of the Black Women And The “F” Word post at the Beyond Black & White blog but it was long enough to be a separate post here. My post Are Black Women Still Blowing Their Chances With White Men was linked by a reader as a complementary piece but it was the attitude of some of the respondents that gave me pause. Aside from a useless desire to employ curse words and turn into the Hulk I’m going to Relax & Release instead. Since I wrote this post before Thanksgiving it would seem a few bloggers/blog participants alike have noticed similar trends.
Those who practice yogic traditions may be familiar with Pranamaya and Manomaya koshas which basically cover the mind and body. What we think manifests itself, stress can harm us and not paying attention to what’s going on externally in our surroundings and what we absorb internally can have positive or negative consequences.
I’m being reminded again that the blogosphere may be the conduit for expression but many of us are invested in dismantling or reinforcing ideologies that work against black women but benefit others. Clearly, my latest essays have hit a nerve. Why, I‘ve received a huge spike in blog traffic to prove it. Gee..thanks but a funny thing happened on the way to the Lion’s Den. Some of us black women decided we didn’t like the idea of being devoured and decided to slay the beast instead.
I suppose the cowardly cousins to obvious Internet Ike & Ikette Turners are the Naysayers and Flat Earth Theorists. While the Naysayers may be on their way to becoming ITTs they may lack the cleverness or vitriol necessary for the written domestic violence they wish to engage in. The Flat Earth Theorists stay focused on everything that isn’t possible and will live and die by a code that insists any black woman venturing past their comfort zones and familiar but barren territory will fall into some unknown abyss. The Naysayers are simply lazy people who want to throw rocks and hide. They don’t actually do anything but whine about the need to be saved first as a prerequisite for doing better.
They don’t care how many black women are in fact already living in an abyss amongst cannibals that are gathering to…cannibalize them! Here’s a quick breakdown of what I’ve observed:
- Those that will insincerely tell black women their oppression and/or suffering is all their fault (by doing too much, not enough or the wrong way) while blocking their journey to course-correction and freedom or a figment of their imagination.
- Those who falsely claim there’s nothing to see here (why are you talking about this you know the earth is FLAT).
- The Envious and Spiteful — I’m doing well but I don’t want anyone else doing well so let me go spread some discord.
- The Fake Confusion (Whatddaya mean my hand is in the cookie jar? No, it’s not!).
- The I’m Just Trying to Have A Conversation How Dare You Call Me Out — If you are so opposed to the message why are you here? Do you have to send me 8 messages on Twitter for a one-sided conversation about why you don’t like the post and why you won’t be coming back? BYE! You are a petulant child seeking attention! There’s a vast blogosphere out there. Read and comment elsewhere.
- I’m So Glad I Can Say Whatever I Want – You’re the ‘good’ Negro blog hostess while those others are bad. They have expectations and standards I don’t want to adhere to.
Some people are so invested in trying to keep black women from making a change for the betterment of their lives. If others can do it, it reflects poorly on them and shows how they’ve settled for mediocrity.
The comments have been interesting to say the least. Amongst them I’ve noticed those who seem very focused on reinforcing what black women can’t do. I’ve taken note of the reader who identifies as a WM telling BW to jump through hoops. This is the type of male any reasonably minded woman of any race would want to steer clear from. The other issue I see here is the lack of understanding (and perhaps compassion) what the landscape has been for most AA black women, specifically. I think there are certain ethnic cultural indoctrination tactics at play that has impacted them more than other BW in navigating how to move away from all-black settings physically and mentally. There were readers who specificed their pleasure at being able to vent without challenge or how inconvenient it was for them to find out other black women had been oppressed and the impact of such.
Call me an elitist but if you are a black women (** living in the United States) and have only heard of Zora Neale Hurston after entering college and didn’t come from an impoverished background or a deficient education what were you being taught about the lives AND contributions of black women born in the United States? Are you African-American and proud of your heritage or do you look down on other black women? Of course one could argue many people discarded Zora as she had been laid to rest in an unmarked grave. Cast-off and forgotten – but isn’t that the point?!!! We have a plethora of African-American women who’ve tapped into the cultural zeitgeist to show some of the less flattering aspects but who have spoken the truth (Alice Walker, Pearl Cleage & Ntozake Shange immediately come to mind) to arm us with valuable knowledge in the hopes that the next group of women would be able to address it and avoid the same problems. The lives of black women were meant to improve not fall into the gutter. How utterly unconcerned and uninvolved must some be to not care. I shouldn’t be surprised but to read it in black and white….is very telling.
All of this reminds me of the scene from The Matrix when Neo first speaks to the Oracle and she tells him he’s not “The One” and to have a cookie then he’d feel better. He didn’t believe in ‘that destiny crap’ and was waiting for something. He was waiting for permission to believe in himself and even though others told him he could do “impossible” things he had to know it himself before he could act on it. We don’t have to wait or waste!
If you as a BW are already “out” of the Matrix but cannot understand the struggles and learning curve for other women who are still in or on their way out, how does your freedom for venting help those women who may want to participate and need assistance in learning something valuable? Perhaps if others took the time, energy and devotion to create their own blogging forums they might realize the amount of work required to build one from scratch, the careful selection of topics and the money and time it takes to maintain and build it.
We are offering valuable, well-researched and thought-out information using the latest technological advances. We are the cutting edge. We are the future and the future is HERE. Social media is the medium offering the widest distribution and impact to reach people. Perhaps others need to understand why it’s necessary to identify genuine readers, people with questions, those who may have counterbalances but are still respectful and those who are intent on destroying any productive exchange of valuable information that will save the lives of black women. Perhaps if they had been actively engaged in these forums for a number of years (as BB&W is only a few months strong) they would have noticed how other bloggers who were less diligent have had their entire blogs destroyed by the opposition to stop the message of freedom from indoctrination getting out. Perhaps if they saw their role in either contributing to or taking away from these efforts they might not be so flip about how other blog hosts run their forums.
Some of these forums share readers but the focus at every forum is still unique to that blog administrator. Each person can set the rules for engagement at their own blog as they see fit. Poisonous messages cause permanent damage to those who have ingested them and the remedy must be dispensed swiftly and accurately. To disrespect the work and standards of other black women shows the height of disrespect and lack of regard for what many of us are trying to do: encourage black women to live freely the way other women of West do and to seek out the most viable mate for themselves if they want a family. They have to be prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. by laying down their burdens and seeing the forest for the trees. If some women don’t understand that, it would appear they are really not interested in seeing the elevation of other black women but are more focused on their own escapism or enjoyment. That is not an ally that is an infiltrator who may be trying to block the movement of other black women in fact and should be noted accordingly.
Perhaps my assessment is far off the mark but for those who’ve been participating in these forums for quite some time there are plenty of “joiners” and “freedom callers” who do NOT want ALL black women to be elevated. The other trend I’m seeing is the incessant complaining by some BW about what other BW must do to counterbalance the negative campaign enacted by indoctrinated BW for years about how they are the “nuthin but a BM type” and how bit of insanity that applies to ALL BW which also isn’t true.
If the loudest people are the most insane then yes the normal ones are going to have to distinguish themselves very decisively. Since those that do get to reap the rewards with the goal of a happy, stable relationship with a quality mate then how much quicker those efforts should be! There are so many tangible and intangible benefits available to the women that position themselves to mate with the most viable partners that it’s a no-brainer. It’s like investing $50 (when you may only have $5 on hand and have to scrounge for the rest) to get a $5M payout. If you are part of a sub-group of a non-dominant and frankly decaying group where you’ve been mule/mammy/martyr or told to limit yourself or focusing on fighting white hegemony by focusing on “racial discrimination” as a white issue while ignoring the worst perpetrators of black woman bashing/dismissal/subjugation/slavery (BLACK MALES) then you also need to get your thinking in line with reality.