Lessons In Synchronicity & Love: Kevin Costner On Whitney Houston

We Were All Rooting For Her Triumphant Return
Having just watched this very moving funeral service, I want us to remember some of the highlights of the life and career of Whitney Houston. I just reworked this post as I was saving to publish until March, but hearing Kevin Costner speak today reiterated some of the basic messaging we cover in this forum.

Costner offered such insight into Houston and many learned how much he went to bat for her to be cast opposite him in The Bodyguard. The movie had been considered for Ryan O’Neal and Diana Ross as leads way back in the late 70’s. Costner discussed some of the background of how the film got made in the following interview. He selected Whitney Houston. Costner was the hottest male A-List actor at the time and had his pick of any actress to work with. What most didn’t know was he waited one year for Houston to be available to film it. It was HIS project and Houston was untested in the film industry at that time. The “other” singer not mentioned by name that the studio wanted was Madonna.

Of course they were concerned about finding the right female lead. Of course some executives initially put up a fight about casting a black woman, but Costner was far too open-minded to not notice her beauty and talent. If you recall in the concert film, Truth or Dare Madonna made fun of Costner on camera. That may have eliminated her despite the fact she later apologized while lobbying for the role. Regardless, Costner had already made his choice of leading lady and eventually the studio relented. He pursued, Houston accepted and the rest is history.

Houston and her team had to be willing to experiment moving into untested waters as well. Clive Davis also confirmed his concern over her transition to film during his speech at Houston’s funeral. These types of deals moving into a cross-section of media, television and film are set up more quickly today, but it was a much riskier and bigger leap then.

Costner also chose Dolly Parton’s song I Will Always Love You because he was a fan of hers. Of course no one could have predicted this cover would become an instant classic. One we still enjoy twenty years later! I can’t imagine any other song in that movie. It was a great story about two people who happened to be different races, versus being an interracial love story. I just saw them as a man and woman who were adults, flaws and all. They didn’t end up together (which always left me dissatisfied), but there was mutual respect as well. Perhaps there was a little something extra present? I noticed when Costner said in the video:

I kissed her once for everyone in America.
I kissed her once for myself.

Hello! When I can get a replay or transcript of his speech from the funeral I’ll add it (updated with video). What he said about her questioning herself and whether people would approve of her is very telling. Reading Twitter feedback from random folks the general consensus is Costner clearly has always thought very highly of Houston. Some surmise he may have been in love with her.

Which brings me to the larger point. Some are still not listening to or lying about the existence of some rather obvious messages. Men want women. Women who are confident, put together and open. I can imagine how a clever woman could position herself to be the business and/or romantic partner of an enterprising man like a Kevin Costner and the things they would create, including building a life together. I imagine an alternate universe where this funeral would have happened at minimum 30 years in the future and Houston (and other black women) had the support and encouragement from people who are looking out for their interests. Far beyond an acting role.

It is more than a possibility. It is reality. It is happening. It will continue to happen. For some women. Just as soon as you throw off shackles people are trying to enslave you with! Why not more black women? Don’t let Houston’s death and the underlying causes that have negatively impacted the majority of black women (HIV, OOW, never-married rates), denigration, wealth redistribution and diminished quality of lives that end too soon become your story. Flip the script.

Nobody else is going to be honest in addressing the elephant in the room. I read Bobby Brown didn’t like his seating arrangements and cut up at his ex-wife’s funeral. After everything that has happened it appears he couldn’t make his daughter’s needs a priority. And some people will still make excuses for him. He lives while Whitney does not. Parasites kill their hosts. Save yourselfit’s up to you!
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Costner Houston Funeral Speech

24 Replies to “Lessons In Synchronicity & Love: Kevin Costner On Whitney Houston”

  1. i can't see kevin costner and not see whitney huston and i can't see whitney huston without seeing kevin costner their relationship that developed during the filming of the bodyguard was true and genuine if one would pay attention you would see it behind the scenes i belived they really loved one another and they would have made a beautiful couple and she would be alive and healthy this day sometimes our worst demons are those that are so opinionated with the 'COLOR CODE' you know black and white[SMH]

  2. Great post.Faith -- I wish Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton could change their focus from "protesting" to "building", and establish a metaphorical "construction site" for young black women and men, where the energy is focussed on creating templates of good men and women period….. instead of being on the streets marching in anger. Let's stop being trapped in "blackness" please. Regrettably and ironically, it was this "blackness", and her own black community's paradigm that brought Whitney to her untimely death. She felt it necessary to shed all that private school polish, that huge educational investment made by her parents, to be accepted with her style of music. I mean God gifted her specially to sing beautiful smooth ballads to move us to tears, and give us chills!!! Wasn't there a friend anywhere to point out to her that she was spitting on her life??? Spitiing in God's face, and on the abundant blessing she never failed to give thanks for every time she won an award.
    The take away for me from this utterly tragic story is, Don't ever spit on your life. Kevin put it well. He called it a precious miracle.

    1. Reverends Inc are ALL about BM patriarchy and gettin' paid. That's what leeches do. Instead I look to BW to separate themselves. I know it won't be a majority, but even a small, but consistent amount will poke a hole that will diminish the negative influences.

  3. "Guard your bodies, and guard the precious miracle of your own life." BEST ADVICE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clearly Mr. Costner thought incredibly high of Whitney, not only for her talent, but for her womanhood. You can't ask for anything better than that! I'm grateful he's shown the world his admiration and respect for her and hopefully that leads to more men openly showing their appreciation for the beauty of black womanhood.

    1. I'm thinking it needs to be the other way around with black women being willing to receive that appreciation instead of focusing on what black males are/aren't doing.

      1. I agree with you and Shermy. Non-BM need to more openly show their appreciation and valuation of BW. AND, more importantly, BW need to be willing to accept it. BW often have a hard time accepting the kindness of love, because we are so accustomed to the DBR expression/definition of love and caring.

  4. As for Bobby, his rebelious mind, that has caused him to not see the blessings in life to this point, messed him up again. If the story, as published, is true, Bobby, in spite of have been in Whitney's life for years and having created a child with her, missed the message of her life. The message I took from her life was summed up well during her homegoing service: Do the things that matter "anyway" and prioritize. If Bobby had stayed at that funeral "anyway" (no matter who did what or who was offended or hurt), he may have learned that even after messing up, there is still time TODAY to prioritize life. He missed a moment in time and CANNOT GET IT BACK because he failed to prioritize.

  5. Hi Faith: There is so much to say, but even more to learn from Whitney's life. As one of those kids that grew up in church, Kevin's comment about communion and whiskey is now stuck in my brain. It's my reminder that the church, and all of us children of God, need love and laughter. I believe that ultimately there was genuine love and laughter between Kevin and Whitney…the genuine, pure type of love that lets each person put down their baggage without feeling any shame for the things they carry through life.

    1. There is some video footage of Kevin and Whitney behind the scenes of The Bodyguard and it is clear that he may have had a little crush. He was fawning and smiling after each take and Whitney just laughed like a school girl. One thing we can take away from his speech is how much Whitney cared about other people’s opinion. I am sure she felt pressure from the black community to prove her so-called blackness and so she married Brown. Brown is a horrible choice for any ordinary woman, let alone a woman of her stature. It’s a shame but it’s a great teaching moment.

  6. Wow. I can't believe that about Bobby. Just wow. Whitney was one of the most beautiful women there ever will be and a talent like no other. I grew up listening to her and I hope to pass on the legacy of her to whatever children I will be blessed to have. BTW, I love your blog and thanks for this post.


  7. "Don’t let Houston’s death and the underlying causes that have negatively impacted the majority of black women (HIV, OOW, never-married rates), denigration, wealth redistribution and diminished quality of lives that end to soon become your story. Flip the script."

    Not all of us had a Bobby Brown but the outcomes can be sever. I am so thankful that I escaped with some life to live and time to flip the script. Not without my share of heartache for my children and financial repercussions. I have flipped the script and not accepting that I should live in suffering to the depravity of my ex's idea of marriage. It would seem that I lost everything with the loss of a dream home, crippling financial liabilities and no assets (he even had my car repossessed the night before court), but I gained me. I live in peace and joy. I am definitely not poor in spirit!

    "I can imagine how a clever woman could position herself to be the business and/or romantic partner of an enterprising man like a Kevin Costner and the things they would create, including building a life together.

    Me too…I just wish we had been given the tools to recognize our worth and expect more sooner.

    Even the high income earning men will leave you destitute and with no assets. IMO, the lack of wealth retention and legacy building is very common and acceptable to men with a low value system. The spend it all and don't leave anything(in case she is a gold digger) is the standard consideration.

    Awesome post! Totally had a crush on Costner after seeing this movie as a teen. Glad to hear how he worked hard to get Whitney for the movie. Makes me crush on him again, lol.

  8. I saw his speech. He called her as beautiful a woman as God has ever made. I found myself hoping that he has said the same thing to his wife, hopefully more. I wouldn't want to be her in that moment.

    I do tend to think he was in love with Whitney.

    1. Costner was married to his high school sweetheart at the time of the movie. Obviously with fame & money he got caught up. They divorced. Eventually he remarried a younger woman and had more kids. He’s been with Wife #2 for more than a decade now. I’m sure he and many others really appreciated her on a deeper level. Clearly Whitney rejected attention from men like Costner because she was trying to conform to dysfunctionality as blackness. He keeps a much lower profile these days. I’m sure his wife agreed to whatever marriage she signed up for just like Whitney did, but she’s protected and provided for. If there’s any question about affection I believe in an expansive heart.

  9. The Bodyguard was released when I was quite young, perhaps in my all-black elementary school, but I never questioned that Whitney was with white Kevin Costner in the film. It seemed normal to me. The Bobby Brown-Whitney Houston pair is what seemed strange to me, even at my young age… (Even though I was a fan of and had a crush on Bobby at the time, he didn't seem on her level… Even children can spot a mismatch, lol)

    There are people who are still defending Bobby Brown (& even Chris Brown) but instead of arguing, I use the position they take as one of the ways to judge their character and worthiness of my attention. Thank you for this post.

    1. I too am tired of negativity and have no interest in arguments. I also use people's commentary to determine whether I should engage or keep it moving. I don't want anyone dragging me down.

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