John Mayer Is A Douche Bag But You Knew That Already

It must be a slow news month or some arrestedly-developed, marginally successful, cultural-appropriating, insecure serial dater is trying to drum up a little controversy to be relevant.

John Mayer gave an interview in the March 2010 Playboy where he discussed his career, interpersonal sexual politics and his 2010 goals: …to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever. I got the sense that he may feel intensely for some but is still disconnected from women..and reality. The point of this post isn’t to analyze his psyche. Amongst the other gems he claimed his genitals only respond to women based on race. Yup, he threw most black women under the bus. Except for three. Oh yeah and in a case of “irony” he used the ‘N’ word to discuss his hood pass and why he he’s so revered by blacks. I think he’s adopted the anti-black woman attitudes and general misogyny of his rap “artist” friends. I found myself agreeing with his assessment that but not the way he deconstructed it. All black people don’t live in da hood.

He made an off-hand comment about David Duke as an afterthought. Duke is one of the most virulent terrorists allowed to operate in the United States who was a Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan and later parlayed that white supremacist support into political office. Think Hitler-lite.  Or Teabagger 2010. Duke is like may racists who also claim to hate blacks so much but always want to have sex with black women. They don’t protest a little too much. So Mayer’s example was a bit off in fact but clearly he’s not using his brain. He also publicly trashed some of the better known women he’s dated because you know…that fame monster is a BEAST!

I have two words for you: Justin Timbersnake er Timberfake er TIMBERLAKE.

PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

He is who has always been. He just got comfortable and felt free to let it all hang out.

First of all he’s a male….and a musician.

Like actors, athletes, etc they may know how to apply their craft (if they have any talent) but they’re not known for being well-rounded individuals and are not guaranteed to have character.

He gave an interview in Playboy magazine. Hello it’s PLAYBOY. Not exactly the bastion of feminism – but the articles are always stellar and men like a little reading in between their pornography consumption.

Some black women it seems were particularly offended by the statements he made about his dating preferences. How is what he said any different from the typical black males who express their disdain for blackness and hatred of (brown-skin, non-Euro looking) black women in particular? **Hint: there isn’t. No need to argue about it or try to understand him or anyone else who behaves this way.


Let’s set aside his use of the N word and his hate because I know some people are going to excuse it by claiming his proximity to other blacks who use certain vernacular influenced him. How can he possibly be racist? will be the question posed by the truly ditzy folks who are too focused on “getting along” instead of enforcing standards of behavior. As if  Mayer’s five years old and can’t make adult decisions or pick quality friends. He also presumes that non-indoctrinated black women are falling all over themselves to get with him. Perhaps they don’t want to end up the subject of derisive conversation fodder to prop up his ego!! Since some of us have finally figured out black women are not protected or uplifted as a collective by black males, men from other groups are simply continuing this behavior. After all what’s the recourse? People continue looking for monsters under the bed when it’s your friendly neighbor next door. Are black males going to publicly call him out when they don’t hold each responsible for doing the same exact thing? I read on a social medium forum how one black male said it was going to be “really hard” to continue listening to Mayer after he “dissed” black women.

I also had a frustrating conversation with another person who insists “we” (black men and women) can work together, educate and be positive. As long as “I” stop focusing on the failings of those black males that certain black women have tied themselves to and/or are trying to rescue while they “keep hope alive”.  I’m not holding my breath. Nor am I touting the blind pursuit of any interracial relationship between white males and black women as the panacea to fractured intra-racial relationships. Oh no. There are plenty of low quality and Damaged Beyond Recognition white males as well. John Mayer does not represent ALL white men however, neither do the unfortunate creatures I wrote this post about. Given the larger numbers there are simply more viable males in that group to choose from if you are a hetero woman seeking a mate. Blind loyalty based on external factors that ignore poor behavior isthat ignores poor behavior is foolish. What I’ve always focused on are the actions of weak males, how it negatively impacts women and how others who benefit seek to confuse the situation to their advantage. Keeping women in the dark of the true motivations of the leeches keeps them being syphoned for resources.

Clearly someone like Mayer who employs racialized sexism is NOT A VIABLE MATE FOR ANY WOMAN. Now why is that news to anyone? He’s long displayed what type of male he is. So who cares if he isn’t romantically (I’m being generous) interested in most black women? THANK YOU for avoiding us. Who needs ya?! Fame and riches are but one aspect of the worth of a man. There’s a larger argument at stake here though. I’m rolling my eyes as I write this because yet again some black women will use this as the “See this is why we don’t want white men and they don’t want us. spiel which after you blow away the dust is all about appeasing those black males who are incensed by the idea of black women dating white men and in reinforcing that hypocritical indoctrination. If you keep declaring how repulsive you find certain men publicly strictly based on race then don’t be surprised when they return the sentiment in kind. Would you use a serial killer as an example of a zero quality male to claim you will now exclusively mate with women? Well that would be ridiculous wouldn’t it? Besides, so many black women have shot their dating chances to bits with their public declarations of undying servitude to the black male altar by rejecting white males to begin with.

It is and has always been about finding the right INDIVIDUAL for you out of wide cross-section of society, if you choose to be partnered. I don’t believe most African-American black women are doing that. It’s also about recognizing all the denigration and indoctrination that may keep you from feeling great about yourself and making life-affirming choices. That includes whites who have a vested interest in blocking black women elevation. They may do it more subtly but the intent is just as deadly as that of the DBR black male. Like thinking nobody wants to be with you based on lies you are being told and seeing men who may look like you reject you. Was John Mayer on the radar of the average black person before Dave Chapelle used him in his skits or he was invited to perform at the Michael Jackson tribute? No!! So yet again because of marginal associations some white person thinks they are down with the black and can mouth off. Or make assumptions. Or tell someone what to do, feel or think. Until they cross a line. For blacks it’s the assumed loyalties, affiliations and alliances automatically given without any proof of worthiness that should be based on standards and behavior not from showing up to the party. Now that he’s gotten negative press his mea culpa tour commences. Yet he’s no better than the DBR black males we discuss at this blog but he at least will be held (somewhat) accountable. Too bad it’s just for his racism and not his sexism. He may not realize he how easily he lets himself be set up to reaffirm whiteness or patriarchy in this interview as well as his most recent one in Rolling Stone. He may or may not figure this out. Apparently black women don’t count in white liberalist discussion of why Mayer is a bad, bad man! Some people will choose to forget his foot in mouth disorder but I won’t. I don’t excuse the behavior of denigrators who act without remorse or those agents who dispense the poison.

2 Replies to “John Mayer Is A Douche Bag But You Knew That Already”

  1. As a former fan of John Mayer….as of reading this post, I guess I shouldn't be amazed or even phased by the amount of self-importance, arrogance, and ignorance pouring from the mouths of celebrities today. Mayer can do the 'all apologies' tour as he likes, but this fool dropped an 'N-bomb'! I don't care what kind of pass he has! So what! He doesn't give af/am women a treat-me-like-I'm-human pass or a I'm-worthy-of-support pass or a don't-denigrate-me-to-make-you-feel-better-about-yourself pass!

    I am separating out those who support af/am women and those who do not. Clearly Mayer does not care for or about the support he gets from af/am women so we should reciprocate and cease supporting someone who does not support us.


    1. Southland Diva: I hear you but I haven't taken anything Mayer says to my heart to allow it to diminish me in any way. I'm actually quite detached emotionally from reacting to it. I just felt some perspective was necessary because other black women were getting upset. As for his use of the N word so many black male music artists use it and denigrate black women regularly yet I have not seen the same level of outrage being shown against them. Mayer doesn't deserve to be treated any worse or better than they.

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