First, if you are a hetero woman you automatically have the right to marry that many others do not! Be grateful for that.
You have to date marriage-minded men who share similar values. You may have to purge all that you know and recognize how other people with less noble agendas are trying to get you to settle. You may need to shut off the teevee and internet if it wields too much of an influence, though noting obvious patterns of a particular meme can certainly help.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR INADEQUATE MALES
No your LOVE will not save them!
STOP WAITING FOR BLACK MEN AS A COLLECTIVE
to honor you
do right by you
come home to you
STOP WAITING PERIOD
You know there are those loyal-to-the-end (their end) black women who sing that Disney song “Some Day My Prince Will Come”. In the movies the prince is an integral part of the storyline and does come to whisk the erstwhile heroine away. After all faerie tales are larger than life.
In real life we make choices that have far reaching consequences. For those women who list race as the paramount choice if you’re not being asked out by those men you’ve put on a pedestal regularly then you are putting a new spin on waiting. In fact, any woman who seeks marriage should be actively dating, have a Saturday night date and eventually be in an exclusive relationship. No man-sharing, no chasing after men who won’t commit, no chasing after men period.
Even if you say you don’t need marriage you might change your mind at a time when you’ve allowed opportunities to pass you by. Yes there are exceptions..but this is about the collective at large. This is about addressing the huge deficit balance black women are running up. It’s about indoctrination and making sound decisions. It’s about progress not perfection. This is about expanding not diminishing.
STOP LAMENTING IN PUBLIC ABOUT WHO BLACK MEN ARE DATING
when it’s not a black woman
who cares – especially if he wasn’t your man anyway!
HE PROBABLY DID YOU A HUGE FAVOR (yeah I’m thinking of the guy that left his pregnant Asian wife for a young white woman – but there are numerous examples)
STOP WINCING, REACTING AND WAITING TO EXHALE
Get off the computer (except for online dating and scheduling activities, lol), get off the couch, get out of your neighborhood and out of your comfort zone. Join organizations like Allliance Francaise. Sign up for Speed Dating. Learn a new hobby. If you have to brush up on etiquette, meet with a stylist, use a matchmaking service DO IT!
No man wants a woman who is so easily had. Nor one who makes public declarations of undying loyalty for men who won’t give them the time of day. It’s whiny and desperate and looks bad. People ignore those who beg for loose change on the streets and men likewise ignore women who do the same – or at least they don’t stick around for very long.
Go buy a copy of The Rules, make a reasonable list of qualities, stop listening to people who don’t know what they’re talking about and create a plan.
Just breathe and go about living your life! Simply do so with a sense of purpose.