I Might Feel Like A Fool, But I Won’t Be One

What was my motivation for getting up before sunrise for a pilates class? Why to regale you with tales of my humiliation success of course!

You have a strong core. That’s why you’re here.”

So sayeth another instructor as I’m asking the class lead how long will it take or me to be able to hold my own. Three times a week for at least a month.


Imagine being the largest, bumbliest, brownest one amongst sylph-like regulars with a teacher only slightly less imposing than a drill sargent.

Holy crap mat work is hard! I got no concessions either. It was supposed to be an all-levels class. Clearly it was for current practitioners. I wanted to walk out, but I didn’t quit.

Again, my thoughts go to flaws and what I need to fix. I’m reminded I won because I showed up. I am going to retrain my brain until I get it in alignment. My body may be the vessel that carries me into this next phase, what I’ll refer to as Faith 3.0, the Rebirth.

While lifting weights and running on a treadmill are very beneficial, they won’t nurture me in the discipline of the Here and Now. It’s getting easier to catch myself about modifying factual reality. I may be here, but I am also here. I need to flip that coin over, cash it in and move to the next venue of my life…starring…ME.

What a glorious revelation!

I’m off to play Madonna’s Ray of Light…

** I’m still sore days later, so obviously I did something right!***

11 Replies to “I Might Feel Like A Fool, But I Won’t Be One”

  1. Most of my instructors have said that yoga is about doing was works with YOUR body, not everyone else's. I say forget the flaws and what you think you need to fix and just go with it! Good luck!

  2. Wonderful, Faith! I commend you. Your story reminds me of when I first joined a running club in NYC. I wasn't the biggest or brownest but geez-louise, I was the slowest, sweatiest and loudest (I was breathing like Darth-Vader, lol)! Stick to it. You are the company you keep- meaning soon you'll be just as good and as fit as the regulars 🙂

  3. I FEEL YOU!

    I'm the large, bumbling, brown-skinned one in my class, I can't do complete roll ups just yet because of my excess in my middle but I've been going at least twice a week (now three times a week) for the past two months. We CAN DO IT!

    Plus, it is really good for stress relief too.

  4. Yay!!! Good for you!! I've been wanting to try Pilates or Yoga one of these days, let us know how it goes!!

    P.S. for the soreness, just stay loose and take in lots o' protein. Chocolate milk is an excellent post workout treat. 😉

  5. OMG I FEEL you, Faith! I have committed the next 5 weeks (until I have to pay for a new pass card!) to Belly dance at this cute Black woman owned yoga boutique in Alexandria, VA. I went this past Tuesday and my hips STILL hurt! I needed an outlet for my boredom and tendency to get super excited about something…and then crash. I've already started the course to losing weight and need to keep the momentum going!

    1. Belly dancing is hard! It isolates the muscles in much the same way as required for pilates, so that's impressive. Kickboxing and bellydancing are on my list!

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