First of all realize that it’s not going to be easy**
As in anything worth having doesn’t fall from the sky and for those women that want to live their best lives when they were not handed tools of discernment and generational wealth or connections your efforts will need to be applied. In other words unless you’ve specifically taken the red pill and left the black indoctrination Matrix you are likely still there.
Being a leader in the Anti-Black Woman Brigade of Liars & Deniers won’t get you your true reward. The passing pleasure where you feel as if you’ve done your part to support black male dysfunction and patriarchy by:
Helping a brotha out 24/7 at the expense of everyone and everything including black female solidarity
Telling black women things aren’t that bad when one has briefly removed the tunnel vision goggles
Blocking BW from asking questions, increasing her awareness and making changes to her life
Trying to cajole or outright bully said black women into “getting along” or “keeping the peace”
Selling your mind, body and soul and that of your children to lay at the altar of “black love” and getting a black man
Fighting white hegemony (thinking of racism only as what white males do to black males) instead of acknowledging the long-standing racio-misogny committed by black males against black women —
WILL NOT NET YOU THE RESULTS YOU SEEK
Let me speak to the largest demographic of black women who may be reading this post who are heterosexual and want or have children. You deserve a thriving family life and all the benefits that stem from a legal marriage. Of course it goes without saying said marriage should be to a well-adjusted, fully-functioning, caring and loving man of the highest order. One you don’t have to chase to meet his responsibilities. One who adds tremendous value to your life. One who has acknowledged your children and who particularly doesn’t have a whole gaggle of other women’s children spread like weeds. One who not only has a job but a career. One who thinks the sun sets on your smile.
While not every woman is hetero OR wants to be married or procreate for those that DO (even if it’s a secret desire you’ve subjugated) this is the current, established Higher Order of HOW HUMAN BEINGS OPERATE. If certain black people think that’s a foreign concept or Mission Impossible then you need to GET AWAY FROM THEM. They are spraying you with Anti-Black Woman Hate Juice that will repel you from the life you deserve and keep you from the people you need to have in your life by screwing up your thinking and skewing your view of the world.
Sometimes a little righteous anger and indignation is the only thing that will save your life.
Now about that indoctrination mindset:
Oh it’s a slimy, tricky bastard that seeps into every crevice and evades all logic and common sense. Crabs In A Barrell to the 10th Power! Understand some of the most highly-educated black women are in fact heavily indoctrinated and have fake stats to back it up! YOU will thrive where they fail because you can easily do a little background information and COMPARE & CONTRAST the quality of life for those black women who say the status quo for the average black women is just fine the way it is and those who are living on a different plane. Note, I didn’t say perfect or problem-free…but in many ways a much BETTER life. Or these women are working towards that goal in some way. They’ve gotten off the conveyer belt to destruction and ran for their lives. It first starts with a change in thought coupled by action.
Step One: Stop ASSuming every black male in any position of authority or prominence = GOOD for YOU!
Be it President Obama or the latest cast addition to your favorite tv show stop doing the “Happy Dance” just because this lone Negro has a high-profile position. Instead ask who put them there and who are they loyal to? Don’t let the fact they may be married to a black women fool you either. 65% of all black males HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED (hence the highest OOW birth rate) and only 21% (and decreasing) are even married to black women in the United States. In the UK it’s more than a 50% marriage rate to non-black women so you can expect that here as well. Yet, still the majority do not value marriage at all and are otherwise escapees from the reject/damaged pile anyway so STOP focusing solely on black males.
Also, if you will note the black women they consistently chose are some variation of long hair/light skin “exotic” category where the obvious trend to discriminate against black women based on her skin color and hair texture has been consistently shown as a moral/ethical defect amongst black males since W.E.B. DuBois through today. We outnumber them 3 to 1 anyway. If you’re looking for your Willy Wonka Golden Ticket don’t be let the best years of your youth and reproductive vigor go by doing so! Be with the partner who will appreciate you in your natural state and isn’t simply doing you a “favor” until he can get at who he “really” wants.
I will give one prime example related to Hollywood: Denzel Washington is the ONLY black male A-list actor who has consistently cast a “sista” as his romantic lead or ensured they have a significant role in his projects throughout his career. Yes, he’s worked with non-black actresses as well but 9 times out of 10 he has elevated us as his equals. His box office is usually better for it as well! In his next film he has two daughters who are featured in the trailer so we can see he’s acknowledged us. I will say this even if he was married to a non-black woman if he consistently did this on film or Broadway, etc I’d still have to say he’s shown by his actions that he values black women as a group. Can we say the same for any of the other politicians, spokespeople, actors, musicians, etc. we’re constantly bragging about and supporting?
Step Two: If you’ve have your vision for yourself formulated by a majority of black people with a “black” mindset you are most likely already indoctrinated. It will take some time to free yourself. Go read the archives of this blog in particular (May 2009-Oct 2009) which was the Summer of my “Red Pill” Escape, several other black women empowerment blogs like Halima, Evia and Khadija (check my Blog Roll tab) and give yourself plenty of time but it’s going to be okay. Knowledge is power. After that you may still think we’re exaggerating. Then do a Google search for No Wedding No Womb and read the response from the opposition and then you’ll see it all play out in real time. You have to be willing to have every belief you’ve ever held fully examined in ways you don’t expect before you will come out on the other side AND still have to monitor yourself. It’s okay though because once you realize Oz doesn’t exist and you have all the power you won’t have to dodge the bullets that kill your self-esteem anymore. You will DEFLECT ALL DETRACTORS.
Step Three: Think of yourself as a WOMAN NAVIGATING MALE PATRIARCHY TO HER BENEFIT. Select the partner “Most Likely To Achieve” – something beneficial of course. Get educated but always be open to learning. Avoid those who have to brag incessantly about what they’re “doing”. Once you are on your path to personal enlightenment and fulfillment you may see others on similar paths at various steps within their own journeys. You may want to share tips or offer words of encouragement. Keep it moving. Don’t let anyone steer you off your path. Don’t let the naysayers on the roads the lead to nowhere distract you from your journey. Don’t be distracted by shiny objects. Know that a set-back is a moment for reflection and recommitment not a sign of defeat. Any sorrow about time lost is time you’re wasting getting to where you belong. It is what it is. Black women have given everything to others and gotten nothing but a kick in the head for their efforts but that’s not YOU. Not anymore. Be glad you took yourself down from that makeshift Cross that nobody asked you to hang from. We’ve already had women before us who’ve paid the price for our freedom. Take the box off the lid, open the unlocked jail door, get off the altar, stop trying to “save” other people and SAVE YOURSELF!
Goldfrapp’s live performance of “Happiness” on Wossy’s show where I say Allison gives the Polyphonic Spree a run for their money:
We’re all on a journey too/Finding the real inner you/Make it better