How To Break-Free From the Indoctrination Mindset In 3 Easy Steps**

First of all realize that it’s not going to be easy**

As in anything worth having doesn’t fall from the sky and for those women that want to live their best lives when they were not handed tools of discernment and generational wealth or connections your efforts will need to be applied. In other words unless you’ve specifically taken the red pill and left the black indoctrination Matrix you are likely still there.

WAKE UP!

Being a leader in the Anti-Black Woman Brigade of Liars & Deniers won’t get you your true reward. The passing pleasure where you feel as if you’ve done your part to support black male dysfunction and patriarchy by:

  • Helping a brotha out 24/7 at the expense of everyone and everything including black female solidarity
  • Telling black women things aren’t that bad when one has briefly removed the tunnel vision goggles
  • Blocking BW from asking questions, increasing her awareness and making changes to her life
  • Trying to cajole or outright bully said black women into “getting along” or “keeping the peace”
  • Selling your mind, body and soul and that of your children to lay at the altar of “black love” and getting a black man
  • Fighting white hegemony (thinking of racism only as what white males do to black males) instead of acknowledging the long-standing racio-misogny committed by black males against black women —

WILL NOT NET YOU THE RESULTS YOU SEEK

***

Let me speak to the largest demographic of black women who may be reading this post who are heterosexual and want or have children. You deserve a thriving family life and all the benefits that stem from a legal marriage. Of course it goes without saying said marriage should be to a well-adjusted, fully-functioning, caring and loving man of the highest order. One you don’t have to chase to meet his responsibilities. One who adds tremendous value to your life.  One who has acknowledged your children and who particularly doesn’t have a whole gaggle of other women’s children spread like weeds.  One who not only has a job but a career. One who thinks the sun sets on your smile.

While not every woman is hetero OR wants to be married or procreate for those that DO (even if it’s a secret desire you’ve subjugated) this is the current, established Higher Order of HOW HUMAN BEINGS OPERATE. If certain black people think that’s a foreign concept or Mission Impossible then you need to GET AWAY FROM THEM. They are spraying you with Anti-Black Woman Hate Juice that will repel you from the life you deserve and keep you from the people you need to have in your life by screwing up your thinking and skewing your view of the world.

JUST.SAY.NO.

Or

G.T.F.O.H.W.T.S!

Sometimes a little righteous anger and indignation is the only thing that will save your life.

Now about that indoctrination mindset:

Oh it’s a slimy, tricky bastard that seeps into every crevice and evades all logic and common sense. Crabs In A Barrell to the 10th Power! Understand some of the most highly-educated black women are in fact heavily indoctrinated and have fake stats to back it up! YOU will thrive where they fail because you can easily do a little background information and COMPARE & CONTRAST the quality of life for those black women who say the status quo for the average black women is just fine the way it is and those who are living on a different plane. Note, I didn’t say perfect or problem-free…but in many ways a much BETTER life. Or these women are working towards that goal in some way. They’ve gotten off the conveyer belt to destruction and ran for their lives. It first starts with a change in thought coupled by action.

 Step One: Stop ASSuming every black male in any position of authority or prominence = GOOD for YOU!

Be it President Obama or the latest cast addition to your favorite tv show stop doing the “Happy Dance” just because this lone Negro has a high-profile position. Instead ask who put them there and who are they loyal to? Don’t let the fact they may be married to a black women fool you either. 65% of all black males HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED (hence the highest OOW birth rate) and only 21% (and decreasing) are even married to black women in the United States. In the UK it’s more than a 50% marriage rate to non-black women so you can expect that here as well. Yet, still the majority do not value marriage at all and are otherwise escapees from the reject/damaged pile anyway so STOP focusing solely on black males.

Also, if you will note the black women they consistently chose are some variation of long hair/light skin “exotic” category where the obvious trend to discriminate against black women based on her skin color and hair texture has been consistently shown as a moral/ethical defect amongst black males since W.E.B. DuBois through today. We outnumber them 3 to 1 anyway. If you’re looking for your Willy Wonka Golden Ticket don’t be let the best years of your youth and reproductive vigor go by doing so! Be with the partner who will appreciate you in your natural state and isn’t simply doing you a “favor” until he can get at who he “really” wants.  

I will give one prime example related to Hollywood: Denzel Washington is the ONLY black male A-list actor who has consistently cast a “sista” as his romantic lead or ensured they have a significant role in his projects throughout his career. Yes, he’s worked with non-black actresses as well but 9 times out of 10 he has elevated us as his equals. His box office is usually better for it as well! In his next film he has two daughters who are featured in the trailer so we can see he’s acknowledged us. I will say this even if he was married to a non-black woman if he consistently did this on film or Broadway, etc I’d still have to say he’s shown by his actions that he values black women as a group.  Can we say the same for any of the other politicians, spokespeople, actors, musicians, etc. we’re constantly bragging about and supporting?

Step Two: If you’ve have your vision for yourself formulated by a majority of black people with a “black” mindset you are most likely already indoctrinated. It will take some time to free yourself. Go read the archives of this blog in particular (May 2009-Oct 2009) which was the Summer of my “Red Pill” Escape, several other black women empowerment blogs like Halima, Evia and Khadija (check my Blog Roll tab) and give yourself plenty of time but it’s going to be okay. Knowledge is power. After that you may still think we’re exaggerating. Then do a Google search for No Wedding No Womb and read the response from the opposition and then you’ll see it all play out in real time. You have to be willing to have every belief you’ve ever held fully examined in ways you don’t expect before you will come out on the other side AND still have to monitor yourself. It’s okay though because once you realize Oz doesn’t exist and you have all the power you won’t have to dodge the bullets that kill your self-esteem anymore. You will DEFLECT ALL DETRACTORS.

Keanu Reeves - Neo Makes Bullets Stop - The Matrix

Step Three:  Think of yourself as a WOMAN NAVIGATING MALE PATRIARCHY TO HER BENEFIT. Select the partner “Most Likely To Achieve” – something beneficial of course. Get educated but always be open to learning. Avoid those who have to brag incessantly about what they’re “doing”. Once you are on your path to personal enlightenment and fulfillment you may see others on similar paths at various steps within their own journeys. You may want to share tips or offer words of encouragement. Keep it moving. Don’t let anyone steer you off your path. Don’t let the naysayers on the roads the lead to nowhere distract you from your journey. Don’t be distracted by shiny objects. Know that a set-back is a moment for reflection and recommitment not a sign of defeat. Any sorrow about time lost is time you’re wasting getting to where you belong. It is what it is. Black women have given everything to others and gotten nothing but a kick in the head for their efforts but that’s not YOU. Not anymore. Be glad you took yourself down from that makeshift Cross that nobody asked you to hang from. We’ve already had women before us who’ve paid the price for our freedom.  Take the box off the lid, open the unlocked jail door, get off the altar, stop trying to “save” other people and SAVE YOURSELF!

Goldfrapp’s live performance of “Happiness” on Wossy’s show where I say Allison gives the Polyphonic Spree a run for their money: 

We’re all on a journey too/Finding the real inner you/Make it better

33 comments to How To Break-Free From the Indoctrination Mindset In 3 Easy Steps**

  • kitten

    dbrooks:

    Go outside of ur bubble and talk to open black women, who u assume are nowhere to be found, who work in corporate America and ask them how many have turned some heads? The answer will be many. Ask them how many have been approached by white men (respectfully)? the answer will be little to none. Stop lying to yourself.

    dbrooks:When a man wants something, they go after it, no matter that person’s perceived ‘attitude’ is

    Kitten:

    Most black women will not be suitable for IR until they become un-indoctrinated. They have too many issues and too much baggage. Many black women do not want to let go of their baggage, they want a man who will help them to carry it. Emotionally healthy men do not want to be a psychotherapist and lover wrapped into one.

    Many attractive and successful black women are NOT approachable to non-black men. That is why the white men look but keep their distance. Body language and facial expressions convey a lot about a person's general state of mind. Many black women have a permanent hard look on their faces and are too masculine in their behavior. That may not prevent them from getting employment, but it certainly will keep them from attracting white men.

    There is no shortage of women in this country or the world. So there is NO NEED for white men--who are the most desirable men in the world--to pursue black women who they believe will not be receptive to them. That is a waste of their time and a damage to their egos (white men do have feelings, you know).

    Black women are so used to being harassed and having their boundaries violated, even by strange black men, that they don't know how to interpret a white man's interest. A typical white man will not approach a black woman the way a typical black man does. He will not show interest by looking her up and down like a piece of meat and asking her if she has a boyfriend. And he will not be friendly if she rolls her eyes at him and does not return his greeting with a friendly smile.

    The bottom line is, black women are the ones facing a dire shortage of suitable mates, not white men. Black women will have to do what is necessary to become more acceptable to white and other non-black men. We have to compete against non-black women for them. No one is going to hand a BW a husband on a platter.

    IF you really are a black woman, do yourself a favor and stop wasting your time disagreeing and finding fault with the BWE bloggers like Faith, Evia etc. Stop finding excuses for holding on to black men, when in your heart of hearts you know that most of them are lost causes. Otherwise, one day you will wake up old, alone and full of regrets.

    If you are not a black woman, then you must be disappointed that the black women here are not going to let people like you discourage them from moving on from black men and the defunct black community.

  • Felicia

    Faith,

    That was an excellent response to dbrooks.

    Ladies (and our male admirers) in the listening audience, PLEASE continue to mentally discount outright lies about BW's desirability to undamaged men in the global community.

    Marriage oriented men around the globe are just WAITING for BW to give them the green light. Including non DBRBM American men.

    Anyone who says otherwise is a LIAR. It is BW (because of indoctrination) who keep their own marriage rates low. Because they continue to focus on a population (BM) who are the least marriage oriented.

    If BW opened themselves up to quality men PERIOD regardless of race, BW have the same high marriage rates as WW and AW.

    But as long as BW's focus continues to stay on BM (many of whom despise them), they will continue to have a 70% single rate and an over 70% OOW birth rate. And this phenomenon WILL continue and INCREASE for as long as BW refuse to focus on marriageable and family oriented men in the global village.

    NON African-American black women do not in any way shape or form believe the LIES that most African-American women believe hook line and sinker. LIES they primarily believe because DBRBM are spreading them. And most BW are BM identified instead to their obvious detriment.

    Again ladies (and our admirer's), always remember that BM by and large are followers and take their cues (regarding any number of things) from WM. NOT the other way around.

    DBRBM (and their indoctrinated DBRBW followers) can spout as much cr*p and lies (like the lie that quality men the world over aren't interested in marriage with BW) about BW that they wish about us, but normal non racist WM and others in the global community won't believe them.

    Because like said, a man doesn't take seriously the ravings of a lunatic HE'S feeding.

    The ONLY one's listening and believing this nobody loves the po' black woman schtick is gullible BW.

    Ladies, you DON'T have to be gullible. You are being told LIES to keep you on the plantation. To keep you concentrating on plan B (raising someone's else's unwanted child because your ovaries have dried up waisting precious years waiting for a "black prince" that never came) instead of plan A. Attracting a loving and lovable mate from the global village, marrying him, and together raising the children the two of you have created.

    LIES to keep you as a booty call back up for a DBRBM to fall back on. LIES to keep BW churning out these OOW often unplanned children that will continue the cycle of suffering generation after generation. All in the name of "black numbers". Numbers that are worthless to the very idea of a thriving community.

    Ladies (and our admirers) PLEASE remember that the life and death issues related to BW that are discussed on Faith's blogs and the others in the BWE/BWIR, are considered an insignificant GAME to outright trolls AND BW who actually believe their hearts are in the right place.

    So DON'T play along with them. Respond or don't respond to them as you wish, but MOST importantly DO NOT internalize their POISON.

    The lie that BW (including AA black women) are not desired for MARRIAGE by Quality men in the global village, is POISON.

    DON'T drink the Kool-Aid.

  • Nia

    Very interesting discussion. I just wanted to add though that my mum and a friend just returned from a six-week vacation in Europe on Saturday. She told me she was pleasantly surprised and pleased to see the number of black women in Berlin, Germany with German men. And the men all looked upwardly mobile in terms of dress, the way they carried themselves, spoke, etc. One black lady was with her (black) child who was obviously from a previous relationship and the German man was doting over her and the child.

    So I just wanted to say that there ARE black women out there finding love and quality relationships, and it's not always true that other men don't find us as appealing.

  • sisterlocgirl

    Very timely post. As to the comments of dbrooks may I add a few of my own observations. I have NEVER been ashamed of being black, AA, colored, negro or whatever designation is in style at this point in time. The majority of this shame in my opinion comes from a deep seated lack of information regarding the history of AAs in this country and the many contributions we have made. I decided early on in my life that my family's lifeplan for me ( education, marriage, and children in that order ) made more sense thanthe stupidity that rules the so called bc. I constantly remind my 16 year old nephew that he has NO EXCUSES in not completing his education. Not too long ago black folks needed the National Guard to escort them into high schools and colleges to complete the education that is a guaranteed RIGHT of every American citizen. What has occurred now is a travesty to all who have suffered to help us attain our civil rights. The only thing that will " save alla our people " is for those of us who have any sense of self preservation to move on and change the script. Some people will learn by observing those who make the changes the BWE/BW-IRR bloggers are championing. You are obviously a very intelligent good hearted person, so the bleak reality of the situation in the bc is certainly very distressing to you. My suggestion to you would be to at least gather enough information to prepare yourself for what's coming. Information is power and something is compelling you to seek out this path. I urge you to continue the journey because you didn't end up here by accident.

  • MsMellody

    First let me say that your blog is really great. I am a new reader yet not new to this BWE blog community. I have truly benefitted from reading these blogs, learning from these blogs and the commenters. So thank you Faith for this most recent post.

    This comment is really for "dbrooks"-

    I believe that Betty Chambers and Evia and Felicia have addressed your issues of whether to adopt, and if the women who read and respond here are "followers" etc. Allow me to add this personally -- if you meant to use the word "followers" as an insult I find that strange that YOU as a reader and commenter would insinuate that there is a "sheep" mentality here or at any other blog.

    It just so happens that with the advent of this blogging technology and the progression onward from the Industrial Revolution -- media is no longer in the hands of conglomerates. Media now includes this phenomenon of exchanging of ideas. So "dbrooks" what you have stumbled upon is a place where women and even men sometimes gather to exchange ideas/theories recommendations.

    I would like to add my comments here as far as your written response.

    It is simply a muling activity for a vibrant healthy single Black woman to adopt. Period.

    If you have been reading and really using your inner ear to hear the message of blogs like this -- I cannot see how you could ask a question like this. But obviously this desire to have children and hence the real desire to nurture is obviously what is driving your questioning.

    So "dbrooks" the message of blogs like this are speaking DIRECTLY to women and our desires..desires to nurture..desires to have husbands/children/homes/lives well lived etc.

    As it has been explained and discussed time without number -- if you are a black woman who loves herself and is beginning to understand that there really REALLY is no Black community. The single Black men who are upwardly mobile/capable etc..are more than likely dating outside their race and in turn are building/providing husbandry ( not the forestry kind ) to woman who do NOT look like me or you. These bm's are building/providing/protecting/procreating with women who are white/asian/hispanic/indian etc.

    Therefore the simple message for you to understand is that Black women like those who read and comment here and elsewhere in the BWIR- Empowerment arena are now beginning to take hold of their feminine mystique, putting themselves in the arenas where they can meet the Alpha males who are White, Indian, Hispanic, Asian etc and with these "new Alpha" men like minded Black women are nurturing their desires AND more importantly their desires for husband/children/homes/ lives well cared for are BEING MET.

    It is truly as simple as that.

  • Evia gave the best response.

    I'll just add own my little .02.

    I respect and learn from Faith's views on many issues. We all learn from one another. I daresay, no one is following anyone, since we all share a similar outlook: encourage black women to have the best life possible.

    In today's world that means seeing what works best for black woman, and not wasting precious years of her life worrying about "dialoguing" or "building programs" with black men. They could and should do that on their own, if they are responsible men. Black men need to step up, and people need to leave black women alone and stop assigning more work to them.

    Being "black" just is. It's not a burden. I don't get what the pressure is. I don't think about it much unless it's an intellectual discussion online. I mostly think about how issues affect me as a woman. I love myself; I love being a woman. That allows me to have comfortable conversations with women of other races….

    Raising other people's children has never interested me, so that's a non-starter. I can't be guilt tripped into thinking I should consider it. I never have and never will.

    It's not hard to find a decent man to marry, especially a non-black one, some of us need to look up, take the weight off, and stop making ourselves miserable.

  • Felicia

    One last thing ladies, ALWAYS remember that if you're using the SAME common sense (and putting it into practice) that the majority of non African-American women are using planet wide to their benefit, you're on the RIGHT track and in touch with human norms.

    Faith, Evia, Halima, Khadija, Karyn, Christelyn, CW, PVW, Sara and all the rest -- plus us commenters with common sense -are NOT "leaders" IMO.

    Instead, we're all just expressing the fact that BW (and specifically African-American BW) have the SAME EXACT right to the SAME happy endings concerning marriage and children as anyone else on the planet.

    And that shouldn't even be "revolutionary". It's just plain decent and fair.

    We don't have to give any demographic of men or community/construct, a "pass". We don't have to make excuses for, or accept excuses from anyone.

    Basically BW should have the same HIGH standards for anyone they come in contact with. Male or female, black, white, or other. Most especially when it comes to a potential spouse and father of your children.

    Pure common sense.

  • Felicia

    I would encourage every black woman reading Faith's latest outstanding and truthful essay to realize that her community (and what the term community means to her) is of HER choosing and no one else's.

    Trust your instincts even if they are contrary to every other black person in your immediate environment.

    And always remember, a problem that you did not personally create, is NEVER EVER in a MILLION years your problem to fix. You don't have to "organize" and "come together" with anyone else, male, female, black, white, or other, to try to come to a "solution".

    You find the solutions to your OWN personal set of hurdles.

    BW in the listening audience, if you are marriage minded and determined to give birth to your children in holy wedlock -- and especially if you're young -- concentrate on PLAN A.

    Attracting a loving, hard working, family oriented, non color-struck, undamaged, marriage and father oriented, QUALITY man in the global village regardless of "race".

    The fact is -- and we all already know this -- there are far more men fitting this description outside of the black construct, then within it.

    Sisters, if you concentrate on PLAN A, you won't even have to worry about a PLAN B. Adopting a DBRBM and duped baby mama's child.

    I think this push for adoption should be laid squarely on the shoulders of all of these legions of good black men out there that countless members of the black "community"/construct claim are out there.

    Hell, they have more disposable income than anybody since the majority of child bearing responsibilities and expenses are put on BW who already raise over 70% of black children.

    Yes, these good black men need to come out of the woodwork (or wherever they've been hiding) and be counted.

    Step up to the plate and start adopting these parentless black children.

    As for BW, sisters need to MOVE ON and join the global community of LIKE MINDED people.

    Stop settling for being unmarried, and disrespected baby mama's.

    BW don't have to be disrespected and struggling baby mama's, AND sisters also don't have to raise other baby mama's OOW children by DBRBM.

    BW can have their OWN families, with their OWN husbands, IF they wish.

    That's what the NWNW movement is about to me. CHOICE.

    GREAT topic Faith! Keep it up.

  • @dbrooks about the adoption thing, Khadija laid out a VERY eye-opening piece about that which made my head spin, I'd never even thought about those circumstances: it was posted to Bettychambers.com piece on "Are Black People Doomed" comment #47 and also was on Khadija's site but I can't find the piece. Here's what she said: long but well worth the read

    Have the people who feel that way ever considered the issue of quantity vs. quality. Having an AA collective increasingly filled with unwanted children who are genetically disadvantaged (negative genetic inheritances such as a predisposition to severe mental illness, low IQs), suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or born drug-exposed, and often traumatized by abuse or neglect does NOT help the AA collective.

    Anybody who has spent any amount of time (for any reason) around the Black underclass has seen this ongoing deterioration for themselves.

    Anyone who has spent any amount of time working in the child welfare system (be it in court, or as a caseworker) can tell you an extremely ugly reality about children who are the result of unplanned, uwanted pregnancies: Many of the already existing discarded/taken away children in foster care are safety risks. For everybody around them. Many of them have negative genetic inheritances such as very low IQs and predispostions for severe mental illness. On top of these negative genetic inheritances, many of them have also been severely traumatized by their experiences of living with neglectful and abusive biological parents.

    Nobody talks about the adopted toddlers who hoard food in their pockets. Or the toddlers who bang their heads against walls when they don’t get their way. Or the adopted first-graders who try to rub the genitals of every adult they encounter—because that’s what they’ve been trained to do by their mother’s new-baby-daddy. Or who masturbates in public. Or the adopted 8-year-old who sexually molests the adoptive parents’ younger biological children. Or who is revealed to be schizophrenic when they hit puberty.

    I’ve never met a pro-forced-birth AA who had any sort of plan for dealing with the existing unwanted pregnancies that turned into the above-described deranged AA children. No, they’re through with the situation after the woman/girl gives birth.

    In addition to having no plan to clean up the existing mess created by existing unwanted AA children, the pro-forced-birth AAs don’t understand that the birth of more unwanted AA children will be the DEATH of the rest of us. Having an AA collective that is increasingly filled with low IQ, predisposed to be mentally ill, neglected and abused children who are likely to continue the abuse cycle when they grow up does NOT help any of us.

    And let’s be real about our distate with so-called eugenics: The plain truth is that it’s the LEAST capable AAs who are having an ever-increasing proportion of AA births. Productive modern AAs generally don’t have more than 3 children. Many of our best and brightest BW are not having children (for a variety of reasons). Meanwhile, the AA female drug addicts, never-worked-a-day-in-their-lives welfare recipients, and criminals generally have at least 3-4 children—and it’s more like 5-6 births. This overall pattern does not bode well for the future of the AA collective.

    I can take the Catholic position about abortion and birth control seriously, and give them a certain amount of respect, because their actions demonstrate that they are S-E-R-I-O-U-S about what they’re saying. The Catholic community has spent their own money (in donations) to develop an entire religious-based social service infrastructure to deal with unwanted pregnancies.

    As with 99.99% of AA talking points, this “birth control/abortion” talk is empty rhetoric. There’s no intention whatsoever of following through on that talk (like the Catholics do). As is our tradition, these self-described “pro-life” Blacks are looking for somebody else (meaning the state) to make all the efforts toward cleaning up the mess.

    Let me end with this work-related observation:

    Those AAs who don’t have regular contact with large numbers of the AA underclass have NO clue about how dangerous and defective this demographic and their offspring are. And this demographic’s level of functioning is decreasing with each year. Let me give one example that most folks aren’t aware of/have never really considered.

    EVERY mentally retarded AA woman client or client’s daughter that I’ve ever encountered (who’s not living in some kind of institution) has been/is being long-term sexually exploited by some non-retarded man/men. Every. Single. One.

    These (in some cases, working and married) NON-retarded AA males often tell these retarded women to hand over their disability checks. And they do. Many of these women and girls have babies—year after year—by these various males who are exploiting them. Social services doesn’t always catch up with these exploited, retarded women with their first baby. They have to get caught doing something strange with their child to put themselves on the child welfare “radar.”

    Some of these retarded, long-term sexually exploited women don’t get noticed by child welfare until after their first few children are delayed and pregnant pre-teens/young teens themselves! By which point, these women typically have a brood of at least 4-5 children. Most of whom are delayed and/or emotionally disturbed themselves. Even if their children had a chance of being born with a normal IQ, what chance did they have of growing up to be functional—after being raised by this type of mother? Slim to none.

    Many of these retarded women are on drugs; others of them are mentally ill. A large number of these women are retarded, AND using drugs, AND mentally ill—all at once. These women are not going to have it together enough to use birth control.

    What in the world does anybody expect from the grandchildren birthed by these women’s also sexually exploited, pre-teen and teenage, delayed and retarded daughters?!!! How do these “we need raw numbers” Black folks think we’re going to build a functioning collective off of multiple generations of mentally ill, drug-marinated, developmentally delayed brains?

    AAs need to stop tripping about this “we need raw numbers to build our nation” talk. A collective composed of GENERATIONS of dysfunctional people is a burden and a disaster for the normal people among that group.

  • Faith, it seems as if you have given up on the black community. If hoping and working for the betterment of black people makes me 'in the matrix' then that's where I'm gonna have to be. If ppl like urself opened up dialogue with like-minded men and build programs to re-educate our people, then we can see effective change. Mud-slinging is not getting us, bw or blk ppl, anywhere.

    i do agree that there should be no children if there is no matrimony.

    can i ask u and ur followers a question? does the heavy stench of our issues ever make you regret or ashamed that u are black? i know that its sacrilegious to even think like that but i just feel like there is a insurmountable amount of pressure with being black, not because of what white people do to us but what we do to ourselves? i feel like we can do so much better but we don't and it's very frustrating.

    another question for you and your followers: Would adopting be a bad thing if you are not married? There are so many black children in the foster care system that need love and to be adopted. would it be wrong to adopt? I feel like bw can't win. We either do it the right way and we get called old maids who are not wanted. We do it the wrong way and we are damaged goods. Adopting would cause the same stigma to be attached. But thinking about the kids who are already here, 1 good parent is better than no decent parents. In a few years I'd like to adopt to give a child or children a good foundation (or a better one than being in the system) but i dont know. Tell me what you think.

  • All I can say here, Faith, is this: She who has an ear to hear, let her hear and do.