Has Joanna Coles & Marie Claire Declared War On Blacks, Asians & Latinas Marrying White Men?

Why Did Hearst Publishing Sign Off On This?

The April 2012 issue of Marie Claire features a series on the role race plays in relationships titled, “Love & Race”. It’s not online yet, so I read a physical copy. While it seems positive and all-inclusive, reading between the lines there’s an undercurrent of passive-aggressive fear and anger that breaks through its PC veneer. Is there some unresolved personal issue in the life of Editor-In-Chief Joanna Coles? Or is this a calculated pre-emptive strike on behalf of white women marking what they view as their territory? Somebody at Marie Claire is running scared the best white men are being poached by non-white women because they keep discouraging it!

I’m sure they’re familiar with studies discussing how marriage rates between Black Women/White Men are rising and how those unions tend to be more stable than same race couplings. I’m sure they see the increase in advertising that features Black Women/White Men as well because magazines rely on ad sales for revenue.

Here’s the thing that has me scratching my head. Marie Claire’s target demographic is not Black Women. They don’t put us on their covers – and no Beyonce (who lists her heritage as French, Native American & throws in African American last in her current Loreal ad does not represent proud-to-be-black women like me) doesn’t count. Does Marie Claire rep for Asians? Latinas fare the best – well the whiter-skinned ones do – but that’s the same in Spanish-oriented media as well.

So, for a fashion magazine (who dabbles with social commentary) to focus so much attention on whether Black Women get married (and to whom) when they ignore them otherwise is more than a little suspicious. Well, actually there’s been a few “Third World Victim” stories. But they decided to throw Latina and Asian women under the bus as well.

It’s obviously a concern. In my post Are Asian Women Trophy Wives Or Smart At Picking Quality Husbands, I was responding to a 2009 Marie Claire article that indicated some white women were none too pleased about the number of Asian women married to wealthy white men. The magazine keeps trying to belittle what are often personal preferences as ‘evil’ fetishes. Their bait and switch is to use Asian women writers to do the ratchet job. Is liking blonde hair a fetish? Thinness? Height? Clearly if a woman uses common sense and listens to a man describe his intentions, she can tell rather quickly whether to keep or toss him.

This time they made it much more obvious. They used a Vietnamese-American writer to talk about how de evil white menz are so horrible with their disgusting pornography influences, stripper fantasies and Asian fetishes. It has chased her right back into the arms of Asian men where she belongs.

Not to be outdone, they also used a Mexican-American writer to tell the story of how her father instructed her to only marry a [non-Latino] white male. You see her dad wanted her to have a better life. Also, she and her friends were focused on emulating JLo’s character in the movie Maid in Manhattan where bagging a rich white man was the message. Funny, I thought it was about a woman who believed in herself enough to improve her career and life prospects first, then attracted a compatible mate.

Did this writer meet her Gringo Prince? No, she married and divorced an aspiring musician and wandered aimlessly as a singleton for a decade because neither she nor the Fetish Whisperer knew how to evaluate men and date with a purpose in the first place. Eventually, she did find her compatible mate. Three guesses about his heritage. I won’t keep you in suspense. Her husband is Mexican of course!

The most egregious and obvious Marie Claire hit job is against Black Women. They use one never-married woman to tell other Black Women to ignore the stats on the 73% (she’s using old stats when it was a mere 70%) NEVER MARRIED rates by mocking them because she has a man (NOT HER HUSBAND) laid up in bed next to her. Because “eventually most BW get married at least once” according to some hack she called.

They regurgitated a previously published article from Helena Andrews that ignores basic reasoning to support idiocy. I didn’t comment after the first infraction, but it’s time to nip this in the bud. In case you’re wondering who this person is, she’s a writer but more importantly she’s a representative from Blackistan used for the purpose of subterfuge and reinforcing its anti-Black Woman practices. The thing about these women is no matter how educated, articulate or put together they may seem they are still spouting the same message. The message of death.

I’m not going to argue semantics about the CDC report on the NEVER-MARRIED rates for Black Women in this country. We have covered every angle on this topic since I first wrote about it in 2009. As one of the core Black Women Empowerment bloggers we can point to the success in disseminating its social justice message across the strata based on the reaction from certain quarters. They are hell-bent on thwarting Black Women in the marriage realm. Obviously, we’re speaking of QUALITY marriages. Men who provide, protect, problem-solve and produce. Men who are devoted to their families and support their communities are an obvious ASSET.

The NEVER-MARRIED rates coincide with the OUT OF WEDLOCK rates. There are enough studies tying poverty, criminality and other negative consequences for those children that show these circumstances make what is already a challenge that much more difficult. Especially when you take into consideration the lack of family and community infrastructure specific to Black Women. That doesn’t mean they can’t be overcome, but why be handicapped unnecessarily?

If, as a woman dating a black man you have to state he doesn’t have OOW kids, hasn’t been to jail, etc. it means the options were very limited to begin with because that’s ABNORMAL behavior. Plus, that still doesn’t make this man a HIGH QUALITY mate. When you evaluate men you start from the top, not the gutter. Did the thought occur to Andrews trying to refute stats that state the MAJORITY never marries because the percentage adjusts based on age doesn’t change the outcome. Especially when at 31, she fits the parameters because she still isn’t MARRIED.

Don’t most folks getting married for the FIRST time consider CHILDREN as an option? Women have a time limit on reproduction. Women and men who WAIT run the chance of carrying way more baggage into a marriage. Unless you’re someone who truly enjoys single-hood and turned down proposals because you have exacting standards, I don’t think it’s in a woman’s best interests to buy into the sex without commitment lifestyle. It benefits men and breeds contempt for long-term relationships.

In discussing lifestyle strategies for Black Women, we’ve analyzed why they are trained to respond in ways that override basic sense. The advantages to putting your best foot forward, using femininity and taking notes from the Asian Woman Marriage Playbook to quietly position yourself in securing a spouse defies such indoctrination. The level of caliber varies with each individual woman.

The overarching message with this multiple page propaganda piece: Know your place! Stick to your own kind. Oh..and just in case you’re considering dating them – white men suck. Who benefits from promoting this message?

I don’t appreciate the one-sided pot-shots from a small number of selfish, greedy women who like petulant five-year olds focus on the one ball in the playground unavailable when they’ve got a well-stocked bin of toys they ignore. I mean if you don’t want white men because they’re so ‘horrible’ why do you care who they date and marry?

I’d like to see if more BW are willing to strategically be allies the way the non-black wives of the wealthier black men are to their groups. There are already PLENTY Black Wives married to powerful men and more are positioning themselves. They’re not online discussing it! Marie Claire wouldn’t keep bringing this subject if it didn’t represent the interests of some white women to express their growing realization that Black Women are their competition, too.

I believe in an abundant universe. There’s enough love for all of us. One of the core messages in this forum is breaking down the root of and continued support for destroying Black Women and children within the black community aka Blackistan. They can remove themselves from harmful people, places and practices. There are plenty of allies and opportunities.

Y’all know white women (Asian, Latina, etc.) can always scrounge up a black guy (whose entire self-worth is tied to his member, getting any woman who isn’t black and producing white-skinned offspring), but the rule is once you break him in, you have to keep him.

Don’t worry white men are and will remain the white woman’s greatest ally. Their continued dominance requires your protection and elevation. You can compete against them, fight them and scream about how oppressed you are but your fathers, brothers, cousins, etc. are still looking out for you. If you want to know what real denigration looks like compare your group’s status with that of Black Women.

White men who choose to marry interracially don’t typically trash white women. That would be a huge red flag and predictor of a low-quality man. As one blog reader mentioned on the AOFB Facebook Page, “White men don’t say they won’t do ‘pale’ butts like some rapper did about Black Women”. Our circumstances are apples and oranges.

How many times have we discussed how you have to focus on what you want instead of lack and negativity? Any woman seeking a compatible mate must focus on values, not race as a prime indicator. This article would deny a woman’s ability to develop as a person, avoid stereotyping and a limited perspective.

So what if the media doesn’t like reporting on White Men/Black Women pairings – that’s okay. More are dating and marrying out. I’m beginning to think the lowest-profile may be the way to go, but as we’ve discussed a picture speaks volumes. If you’re married to the studio head, CEO, uber-Producer or even a slew of everyday Joes as long as you are living well, you are in a better position to effect change from behind the scenes than cyber-protests or trying to encourage more participation from self-hating blacks. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation.

This evokes an archived conversation we had about Hipster Racists and Hipster Misogynists. I would have liked to read some of the featured interracial couples photographed tell their stories instead of this sucker-punch of stupidity, but “Love & Race” should be renamed Not So Subtle Attempt By White Women At Taking Out The Competition.

26 comments to Has Joanna Coles & Marie Claire Declared War On Blacks, Asians & Latinas Marrying White Men?

  • Are there really issues regarding races? For me, if you really love a person you'll love him/her no matter what. You just have to fight for love and everything will be history.

    • Faith

      Yes, there are certain considerations at play that go beyond \”just loving someone\” that have to be taken into consideration. Properly identifying and evaluating when others are trying to THWART that is necessary!!

  • One of the many reasons why I don't really like reading magazines like Marie Claire, they pretend to encourage enlightement of women, particularly Marie Claire with a few stories from the third world, but really they like to cause the divide and rule principle, women against each other, there is a small pool of men, etc. We are all individuals and we have our own realities. Woman have to do what is best the them and it doesn't matter how many non-black women they get telling women, what they really think what white men think of them, Black, Asian and Latina women will marry white men who suit them. End of story. Many of these magazine are not having big sells as they would because there is increased competition and many women feel that these magazines don't reflect them and their lives.

    • Faith

      I expect those (non Latina) white women to protect and promote their interests though, because unlike foolish African American women shooting themselves in the head EVERYBODY ELSE knows what time it is. Even non-AA BW know better. MARRIAGE benefits women and divorce rates or abuse be damned (aka worst-case scenarios), these relationships are ours to shape.

      These magazines are still more genuine (to those they're meant to serve) than MESSence and even Ebony who still focus on black male protectionism above everything else.

  • Traci

    I don't understand. If you want to get out of the bc, you research find someplace and move…it's really that simple. I did it.

    • Faith

      You first made a decision to make changes in your life. Then you followed through. I think many women continue holding themselves back because they don't work on their non-productive mentalities (they don't consider them harmful), they're disloyal to themselves (and other black women) and remain focused on the wrong things. If they tell themselves they can't do something the Universe will comply.

  • this is one reason why I am happy to see the wane in power of the major media portals. Folk are finding their information in all sorts of ways and in addition they are now filtering the information from these media outlets through a variety of lenses. Before, a bw on marie claire or ebony would be the last word, now most of us have two -- four other points of reference.

    Black women ARE trying to escape. And they keep hitting a wall. They have no clue as to what is going on…this does need to be talked about. Yes, openly.

    I agree and i think many bw need a full diagniosis of what ails them first so that they can clearly see a solution. Many bw do not know what is killing them. if they feel a sharp pain, they immediately call up and blame the ususal suspects of black pain as they have been taught, not knowing that their current pain has a different present date origin, yet they keep reciting the same ol mantras and theories abut white folk, white racism, white hegemony.

    if bw realized that blackistan (thanks faith!), is their real problems they might just formulate the right solution for their problems!

  • squarlymade

    "open reply" ment squarlymade"
    I'm talking about what is holding black women back and in the bc. A very important piece.

  • squarlymade

    (#2 of 2)
    Black women ARE trying to escape. And they keep hitting a wall. They have no clue as to what is going on…this does need to be talked about. Yes, openly.

    You can’t burry your head on this one, or “keep quite” about it. Especially if you don’t plan to live a life where you only get out when your husband takes you off the shelf to show you around town. If you have goals and plans to live a life as an active involved member in your environment whether you’re on your husbands arm or not-this needs to be a main topic. Now that we have left and are leaving the bc. And it doesn’t matter if you want a white man or even if you are adhering to the “message of death”. You are still viewed as competition.

    • Faith

      Well, until a decision is made leaving behind harmful people, places and practices won't happen. Otherwise there'd be no need to "try" and fail (not putting their surviving/thriving as #1 priority) as you're stating.

      As to the rest, I'm not getting your point.

      • openreply

        I talking about black women and what is holding and keeping them back or in the bc. A very important piece.

  • squarlymade

    (#1 of 2)
    You are right on Faith! I will always refer to the indoctrination program as “the message of death” That nails it.
    This is an important subject. And one that is personal to me. Because for those of us who don’t congregate around “blackistan” bm and there issues are a non issue. And for bw who are trying to get away this will be their next hurtle. This will affect their life in significant ways and they need to know who to watch out for and how. Look closer at the woman that was mentioned (a year ago?). The one who was homeless and tried to enroll her kids in a school. Look how she was “chased away”. Look who did it. Do you know why? I bet she didn’t. I do. Though it seems like racism- suspicious, critical, mistrusting…these are all characteristics of jealousy

    • Faith

      Hi, I'm not sure who you're referring to when you mention a homeless woman trying to enroll her kids in school. I recall a woman convicted for fraud after receiving multiple warnings to remove her kids from a school district they didn't live in.

      I think some of you are reading too much into this, which has me questioning how many are harboring latent inferiority complexes. I imagine any male considered a "catch" is going to draw interest from many women. So what!

      Personally, I want someone with enough admirable qualities that have great appeal. In a solid relationship built on trust that won't matter.

      It should also go without saying any woman worth her salt keeps her house in order and is not imbalanced in her relationship. She wants the man, she's not desperate.

      It's the attitude as personified at the blog What Women Never Hear where after the man is vetted, he remains Mr. Good Enough even after marriage until he has proven himself over a multi-year period to potentially earn the title of Mr. Right.

      I am not encouraging any woman to exchange one set of non-beneficial behaviors for another.

      • squarlymade

        I for sure don't have an inferiority complex. I just had a 'minding my own business' complex. You can't think the way others do until you come into contact with that frame of mind. When I see something I like in someone-it's inspirational. To others it's frustrating.

  • MsMellody

    Pt 2.

    The setting is this warm, fuzzy reflective moment of having this woman's entire family in the huge backyard -dancing and playing and just enjoying life!!! I thought the commercial was fabulous. I have been googling around trying to find the commercial. When I find a link to it on line I will paste it here as an example of how the media is definitely taking notice of interracial marriages, especially those with Black women and white men.

    • Faith

      I hope you had a great workout. And when you recall the insurance agency please do share. I wonder if it's a regional ad.

  • MsMellody

    Had to come back after my afternoon workout. Faith -- there is an insurance company's tv ad that I saw recently that amazed me.

    The situation looks like a party with family members..and the white female voice over is voicing the opinion of the mother of the family. You know like when a woman who is older is taking a moment of assessment of her family..those inside thoughts that women think to themselves.

    Anyway, the "son" in the family walks up to the camera/mom visual point of view and the voice over is talking about all the wonderful changes that have happened..and then the voice over says " and welcoming new family members"..then the son steps away and a black woman steps up to the camera. As in this is the woman the son is introducing to the family..and I just about fell down when I saw the commercial.

    • squarlymade

      That’s funny to hear. I was in the store a few months back smelling some laundry detergent trying to choose which to buy, and I noticed a woman from the corner of my eye watching me. I immediately felt so embarrassed. I thought she was thinking I was strange for smelling the soaps. Later she came up to me and said she was sorry for staring. She told me her son just got married to a black woman down in Texas and she hadn’t met her yet. She said she’s been wondering what she is going to be like…

      Isn’t that cute? I could tell she was so happy for her son. She must be able to tell he is very happy.

      • Faith

        Well, it's interesting. I think it's odd a woman would marry a guy without meeting his mother. That's certainly not good vetting, but we can send kind thoughts.

  • MsMellody

    Faith -- astoundingly great article that you have written!!!!

    You said it all with this " Marie Claire wouldn’t keep bringing this subject if it didn’t represent the interests of some white women to express their growing realization that Black Women are their competition, too."

    Let me just add my little comment -- I knew this was coming…seriously. As soon as I began noticing ads with "young bw and young wm"..I knew the onslaught would begin. And is the style of a women's magazine geared toward white women -- it would start subtlely.

    But mark this as the beginning -- and mark this as a triumph of sorts. Black women, Asian women, Hispanic women, Latin women etc etc have ALWAYS been the competition of white women. The gates were literally opened with the Loving Case. As a result of the internet and online dating now more and more women of color -- especially black women -- can now date out and find happiness, fulfillment, peaceful life, stress reduced living!!

    • Faith

      Thanks. For the purposes of this conversation and the interests of Black Women we need to redefine and contain the entire “women of color”, “people of color” line of thinking. You didn’t find any such reference in my essay for a reason.

      There is no established standard for people being lumped together based on melanin, esp. folks who are simply a white ethnicity that isn’t fully accepted by the current white majority.

      We also know those other “people of color” have shown ZERO solidarity on a mass scale in supporting the interests of Black Women.

      The purpose of this essay was also not a white hegemony argument or poking at these other omen from a competitive stance. Just an observation of things I’m picking up on between the reaction from some regarding Michael Fassbender to Tamron Hall and a few others.

      We don’t need to focus on what anybody else is doing. We should be more aware of our abilities and create opportunities. If other women start OPENLY attacking it makes them look bad.

      There’s still so few African-American women marrying out compared to other Black Women and non-BW. It’s changing though.

      I hope people reading this essay don’t take it to be an issue to be worried about. Most AA women are still in Blackistan. People are still solely focused on “Saving Endangered Black Males”. This is nothing. No one else will prevent men from being with women.

  • EbonyQueenWhiteKing

    I think this what wm/bw union's r going to have to watch out for, cuz, trust when i tell u, they don't wanna see anybody with the TOP dog in this world! which r (WHITE)men! esp.bw so get ready cuz they're coming FULL force. haha!

    • Faith

      Thanks for the comment, but let's be clear. This isn't about indulging in gloating or blowing things situation out of control. There are plenty of white women allies. There are also Asian, Latina, etc women who are just as racist. None of these outsiders are more detrimental than other black women in reinforcing an anti-BW agenda. As I've also stated, the goal for a woman who wants marriage is to attract and vet a man based on values not race. I expect some white women would freak out if they think their position is in jeopardy, but ultimately they are and will remain secure.

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