Why Did Hearst Publishing Sign Off On This?
The April 2012 issue of Marie Claire features a series on the role race plays in relationships titled, “Love & Race”. It’s not online yet, so I read a physical copy. While it seems positive and all-inclusive, reading between the lines there’s an undercurrent of passive-aggressive fear and anger that breaks through its PC veneer. Is there some unresolved personal issue in the life of Editor-In-Chief Joanna Coles? Or is this a calculated pre-emptive strike on behalf of white women marking what they view as their territory? Somebody at Marie Claire is running scared the best white men are being poached by non-white women because they keep discouraging it!
I’m sure they’re familiar with studies discussing how marriage rates between Black Women/White Men are rising and how those unions tend to be more stable than same race couplings. I’m sure they see the increase in advertising that features Black Women/White Men as well because magazines rely on ad sales for revenue.
Here’s the thing that has me scratching my head. Marie Claire’s target demographic is not Black Women. They don’t put us on their covers – and no Beyonce (who lists her heritage as French, Native American & throws in African American last in her current Loreal ad does not represent proud-to-be-black women like me) doesn’t count. Does Marie Claire rep for Asians? Latinas fare the best – well the whiter-skinned ones do – but that’s the same in Spanish-oriented media as well.
So, for a fashion magazine (who dabbles with social commentary) to focus so much attention on whether Black Women get married (and to whom) when they ignore them otherwise is more than a little suspicious. Well, actually there’s been a few “Third World Victim” stories. But they decided to throw Latina and Asian women under the bus as well.
It’s obviously a concern. In my post Are Asian Women Trophy Wives Or Smart At Picking Quality Husbands, I was responding to a 2009 Marie Claire article that indicated some white women were none too pleased about the number of Asian women married to wealthy white men. The magazine keeps trying to belittle what are often personal preferences as ‘evil’ fetishes. Their bait and switch is to use Asian women writers to do the ratchet job. Is liking blonde hair a fetish? Thinness? Height? Clearly if a woman uses common sense and listens to a man describe his intentions, she can tell rather quickly whether to keep or toss him.
This time they made it much more obvious. They used a Vietnamese-American writer to talk about how de evil white menz are so horrible with their disgusting pornography influences, stripper fantasies and Asian fetishes. It has chased her right back into the arms of Asian men where she belongs.
Not to be outdone, they also used a Mexican-American writer to tell the story of how her father instructed her to only marry a [non-Latino] white male. You see her dad wanted her to have a better life. Also, she and her friends were focused on emulating JLo’s character in the movie Maid in Manhattan where bagging a rich white man was the message. Funny, I thought it was about a woman who believed in herself enough to improve her career and life prospects first, then attracted a compatible mate.
Did this writer meet her Gringo Prince? No, she married and divorced an aspiring musician and wandered aimlessly as a singleton for a decade because neither she nor the Fetish Whisperer knew how to evaluate men and date with a purpose in the first place. Eventually, she did find her compatible mate. Three guesses about his heritage. I won’t keep you in suspense. Her husband is Mexican of course!
The most egregious and obvious Marie Claire hit job is against Black Women. They use one never-married woman to tell other Black Women to ignore the stats on the 73% (she’s using old stats when it was a mere 70%) NEVER MARRIED rates by mocking them because she has a man (NOT HER HUSBAND) laid up in bed next to her. Because “eventually most BW get married at least once” according to some hack she called.
They regurgitated a previously published article from Helena Andrews that ignores basic reasoning to support idiocy. I didn’t comment after the first infraction, but it’s time to nip this in the bud. In case you’re wondering who this person is, she’s a writer but more importantly she’s a representative from Blackistan used for the purpose of subterfuge and reinforcing its anti-Black Woman practices. The thing about these women is no matter how educated, articulate or put together they may seem they are still spouting the same message. The message of death.
I’m not going to argue semantics about the CDC report on the NEVER-MARRIED rates for Black Women in this country. We have covered every angle on this topic since I first wrote about it in 2009. As one of the core Black Women Empowerment bloggers we can point to the success in disseminating its social justice message across the strata based on the reaction from certain quarters. They are hell-bent on thwarting Black Women in the marriage realm. Obviously, we’re speaking of QUALITY marriages. Men who provide, protect, problem-solve and produce. Men who are devoted to their families and support their communities are an obvious ASSET.
The NEVER-MARRIED rates coincide with the OUT OF WEDLOCK rates. There are enough studies tying poverty, criminality and other negative consequences for those children that show these circumstances make what is already a challenge that much more difficult. Especially when you take into consideration the lack of family and community infrastructure specific to Black Women. That doesn’t mean they can’t be overcome, but why be handicapped unnecessarily?
If, as a woman dating a black man you have to state he doesn’t have OOW kids, hasn’t been to jail, etc. it means the options were very limited to begin with because that’s ABNORMAL behavior. Plus, that still doesn’t make this man a HIGH QUALITY mate. When you evaluate men you start from the top, not the gutter. Did the thought occur to Andrews trying to refute stats that state the MAJORITY never marries because the percentage adjusts based on age doesn’t change the outcome. Especially when at 31, she fits the parameters because she still isn’t MARRIED.
Don’t most folks getting married for the FIRST time consider CHILDREN as an option? Women have a time limit on reproduction. Women and men who WAIT run the chance of carrying way more baggage into a marriage. Unless you’re someone who truly enjoys single-hood and turned down proposals because you have exacting standards, I don’t think it’s in a woman’s best interests to buy into the sex without commitment lifestyle. It benefits men and breeds contempt for long-term relationships.
In discussing lifestyle strategies for Black Women, we’ve analyzed why they are trained to respond in ways that override basic sense. The advantages to putting your best foot forward, using femininity and taking notes from the Asian Woman Marriage Playbook to quietly position yourself in securing a spouse defies such indoctrination. The level of caliber varies with each individual woman.
The overarching message with this multiple page propaganda piece: Know your place! Stick to your own kind. Oh..and just in case you’re considering dating them – white men suck. Who benefits from promoting this message?
I don’t appreciate the one-sided pot-shots from a small number of selfish, greedy women who like petulant five-year olds focus on the one ball in the playground unavailable when they’ve got a well-stocked bin of toys they ignore. I mean if you don’t want white men because they’re so ‘horrible’ why do you care who they date and marry?
I’d like to see if more BW are willing to strategically be allies the way the non-black wives of the wealthier black men are to their groups. There are already PLENTY Black Wives married to powerful men and more are positioning themselves. They’re not online discussing it! Marie Claire wouldn’t keep bringing this subject if it didn’t represent the interests of some white women to express their growing realization that Black Women are their competition, too.
I believe in an abundant universe. There’s enough love for all of us. One of the core messages in this forum is breaking down the root of and continued support for destroying Black Women and children within the black community aka Blackistan. They can remove themselves from harmful people, places and practices. There are plenty of allies and opportunities.
Y’all know white women (Asian, Latina, etc.) can always scrounge up a black guy (whose entire self-worth is tied to his member, getting any woman who isn’t black and producing white-skinned offspring), but the rule is once you break him in, you have to keep him.
Don’t worry white men are and will remain the white woman’s greatest ally. Their continued dominance requires your protection and elevation. You can compete against them, fight them and scream about how oppressed you are but your fathers, brothers, cousins, etc. are still looking out for you. If you want to know what real denigration looks like compare your group’s status with that of Black Women.
White men who choose to marry interracially don’t typically trash white women. That would be a huge red flag and predictor of a low-quality man. As one blog reader mentioned on the AOFB Facebook Page, “White men don’t say they won’t do ‘pale’ butts like some rapper did about Black Women”. Our circumstances are apples and oranges.
How many times have we discussed how you have to focus on what you want instead of lack and negativity? Any woman seeking a compatible mate must focus on values, not race as a prime indicator. This article would deny a woman’s ability to develop as a person, avoid stereotyping and a limited perspective.
So what if the media doesn’t like reporting on White Men/Black Women pairings – that’s okay. More are dating and marrying out. I’m beginning to think the lowest-profile may be the way to go, but as we’ve discussed a picture speaks volumes. If you’re married to the studio head, CEO, uber-Producer or even a slew of everyday Joes as long as you are living well, you are in a better position to effect change from behind the scenes than cyber-protests or trying to encourage more participation from self-hating blacks. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation.
This evokes an archived conversation we had about Hipster Racists and Hipster Misogynists. I would have liked to read some of the featured interracial couples photographed tell their stories instead of this sucker-punch of stupidity, but “Love & Race” should be renamed Not So Subtle Attempt By White Women At Taking Out The Competition.