Acts of Faith In Love & Life

The Dr. Seuss Response To Prejudice Adults Should Revisit

Faith — Wed, 16 May 2012 11:00:56 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3yJomUhs0g

At the beginning of the story, Sneetches with stars discriminate against and shun those without. A “fix-it-up chappie” named Sylvester McMonkey McBean appears and offers the Sneetches without stars the chance to have them with his Star-On machine, for three dollars. The treatment is instantly popular, but this upsets the original star-bellied Sneetches, as they are in danger of losing their special status.

McBean then tells them about his Star-Off machine, costing ten dollars, and the Sneetches who originally had stars happily pay the money to have them removed in order to remain special. However, McBean does not share the prejudices of the Sneetches, and allows the recently starred Sneetches through this machine as well. Ultimately this escalates, with the Sneetches running from one machine to the next,

“until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew

whether this one was that one… or that one was this one

or which one was what one… or what one was who.”

This continues until the Sneetches are penniless and McBean departs a rich man, amused by their folly. Despite his assertion that “you can’t teach a Sneetch,” the Sneetches learn from this experience that neither plain-belly nor star-belly Sneetches are superior, and they are able to get along and become friends.

Do you think with all of the turmoil and rhetoric that’s been encouraged, people will reconsider being so reactionary and reaffirm basic kindness and common sense Seuss-style?

Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #16: When A Man Talks About Your Relationship A Certain Way It’s A Good Thing

Faith — Mon, 14 May 2012 11:00:16 +0000

I just had to do a quick post reshuffling when the scans for the June issue of US GQ magazine appeared on several Michael Fassbender fan sites yesterday. So, while we’ll be discussing him as the overall example for this post, this isn’t really about him. Or any male for that matter. This is about you, women making smart choices that benefit them from a position of confidence.

The article is part of the media blitz for Prometheus. *While some of the accompanying photos are typically objectifying, it is a men’s magazine and par for the course (insert eye roll). The interview was quite good. Now onto the topic at hand.

As excerpted:

During an earlier stop in New York, he was photographed walking the streets of SoHo hand in hand with his Shame co-star Nicole Beharie. (I wrote about how some people could kick rocks with their concern trolling and open disdain) Fassbender has tended to keep quiet about his romantic life, though not long ago he briefly reflected on the discovery that his new fame comes with “a buffet of choice.” After the photos of Beharie and him appeared, the global gossip media anointed her as his girlfriend.

When the man you’re dating lets other people know you’re together, he’s invested. Men typically don’t discuss [newer] relationships, but I suspect Fassy thought it warranted a mention (without going into TMI mode) to silence speculation he was “hiding his black girlfriend” or that Nicole is “just an occasional sex partner” as people have been suggesting online. In this instance their worst-case assumptions are inaccurate.

“I’m seeing Nicole, we’re trying to see each other as often as possible,” he acknowledges. “That’s kind of difficult when she lives [in New York] and I live in England.” He says they got together during the film’s promotion. “Nothing happened while we were filming. We started talking more on the promotion thing. So, yeah, it just sort of unfolded like that.” Presumably that’s why he’s now back in New York for a couple of days, though he doesn’t say so.

If you saw Shame then you already know they had combustible chemistry.

Since most people meet through work and social circles, it makes sense if they were open and available to see whether a spark would develop into something. Now, this is an example of a high-profile relationship, but the scenario plays out across class, gender, race or occupation. He certainly didn’t have to say anything, but there are some thirsty women clamoring for his attention simply because he’s famous.

Chasing after a man is never a good idea, even though it can be very tempting to do so in the name of modern womanhood. If you make yourself too available men lose interest or get really comfortable (read that as lazy about impressing you) and you’ll fall into bad habits and power imbalances that will bite you in the butt later.

While a little discretion is wise, there’s a world of difference between a man keeping a relationship private and referring to the mother of your children that you’ve refused to marry as your “sidekick”. Or calling women “gold-diggers”. Or other terms not fit to print.

This pairing of two esteemed actors (not dating for a publicity stunt) holds more promise than say that of a certain loud-mouth rapper and reality show vixen both desperate for attention. As a woman evaluating a man you have to operate from a position of strength. Women are the prize. That doesn’t give you license to act like a boob!

In your dating/mating life you’ve got to let down your walls, but communicate thoroughly – if you want to secure or maintain a high-caliber coupling. Pay more attention to behavior than verbal manipulation. No one can predict the future, but our instincts are often correct when we aren’t filtering. I have to say Nicole is playing it smart by a) making sure HE makes the effort to see HER b) Not saying a word about their relationship publicly. He’s the one doing the talking!

What a man says about you is just as much of an indicator into his character as what he thinks about you. Whether he holds you in high regard determines everything. Pay attention!

Shortbread + Mimolette + Coffee = Foodgasmic!

Faith — Fri, 11 May 2012 11:00:11 +0000

How can you not want to try this? Darn you Bon Appetite!

PARMESAN SHORTBREAD with Fennel and Sea Salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3/4 teaspoons kosher salt
2 cups all-purpose flour plus more
1 cup finely grated Parmesan (about 2 ounces)
1 tablespoon fennel seeds
1 teaspoon Maldon sea salt or other coarse salt [note from me: this definitely calls for pink sea salt!]
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

Get the cooking directions at Bon Appetite.

Per the recipe any salty hard cheese like aged Manchego, Grana Padano, or Mimolette, would make a great substitute for Parmesan.

Since I have a mad obsession for Mimolette (which looks like canteloupe),

I know younger Mimolette tastes a lot like Parmesan, which is why I prefer the more aged varieties. The combination of sweet, crunchy, salty and savory is nice on the tongue. The coffee component is included because the recipe is from Caitlin Williams Freeman’s cookbook, The Blue Bottle Craft of Coffee. Blue Bottle is a hand-crafted gourmet coffee roastery based in San Francisco – it’s really good. If you prefer tea I’d recommend an organic licorice or chocolate chai.

*P.S. Enjoy Mother’s Day!

Inspirational Quotes Series: Daisaku Ikeda

Faith — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:21:09 +0000

The course of our lives is determined by how we react—what we decide and what we do—at the darkest of times.

We need courage to become happy, to triumph over life’s trials, to help others, and to take action for peace and justice.

Courage is the key that unlocks the power, as vast as the universe, that exists within us.

~Daisaku Ikeda

There are so many great quotes to choose from that I had to share three! Ikeda is listed in the Watkins’ Mind Body Spirit magazine as one of the 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People for 2012. He is a philosopher, peace-builder and educator. He currently serves as president of Sōka Gakkai International (SGI), a Nichiren Buddhist lay association.

Nichiren used the following analogy to explain the daimoku, or “Great Title,” and how it works: “When a caged bird sings, birds who are flying in the sky are thereby summoned and gather around, and when the birds flying in the sky gather around, the bird in the cage strives to get out. When with our mouths we chant the Mystic Law, our Buddha-nature, being summoned, will invariably emerge.” To chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is to call out the name of the Buddha-nature within us and in all living beings. It is an act of faith in this universal Buddhanature, an act of breaking through the fundamental darkness of life—our inability to acknowledge our true enlightened nature. It is this fundamental darkness, or ignorance, that causes us to experience the cycles of birth and death as suffering. When we call forth and base ourselves on the magnificent enlightened life that exists within each of us without exception, however, even the most fundamental, inescapable sufferings of life and death need not be experienced as pain. Rather, they can be transformed into a life embodying the virtues of eternity, joy, true self, and purity.

- Daisaku Ikeda, “Faith in Revolution”: An Interview, Tricycle Magazine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ytrnbuXKYk

VaughanTown Is Back With A Program For Teens!

Faith — Mon, 07 May 2012 11:00:09 +0000

We’ve discussed the VaughanTown volunteer language and cultural program for adults previously. It’s a great way to travel and mingle in Spain. Now they’re offering a similar program for youth age 12-17. This is great!

Again, they’ve put together a 2-week program, split time between a homestay with a Spanish family followed by a group camp. The program fees are covered by the host family, so the participant only has to cover their round-trip transportation to Madrid and funds for incidentals.

This would make a good starter travel excursion and help encourage independence. It’s a lot shorter than a semester abroad. Children can build valuable life skills..and the brief trip won’t require a huge commitment, while keeping separation anxiety to a minimum hopefully!

You can review the details and apply at the VaughanTown site.

We Can All Use A Laugh: Three Blogs To Boost Your Spirits

Faith — Fri, 04 May 2012 11:00:30 +0000

This should match your celebratory mood in advance of Cinco de Mayo!

Have you read Let’s Have A Cocktail? I’ve linked to a post on JennyMac’s blog before, but I still find this lawyer full of Southern charm and wit.

I’ve been going through so many commercials lately and watching The Pitch I hope This Advertising Life doesn’t go over your head. I don’t think it will, because it’s hilarious.

Tumblr sites got a shot in the arm when they were adopted by twenty-somethings (and brands) who use animated photos. It’s fun (minus any server crashings). The blog It Came With The Frame moves beyond the funny cats, though I did find one that showed a cat in a raincoat and hat, rolling off a sofa quite enjoyable.

I had to throw in this interview of Colin Farrell discussing how he got turned down by an actress 40 years his senior. It’s not (haha) funny, but more incredulous. It proves women of distinction never go out of style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h41u7YoUjsw

Why Cowbird Might Be The Next Big Social Network

Faith — Wed, 02 May 2012 11:00:39 +0000

This may be a bold (or premature depending on who you ask) statement. Remember when Digg was one of the go-to sites to link a blog post to? Well…with all of the changes on the Interwebs no company is immune to ups and downs. Amplify went under. Posterous was sold to Twitter. Turntable.fm went from hip to zip seemingly overnight. Circumstances beyond one’s control offer no guarantees about continued interest in any business or endeavor.

Could anyone have predicted Pinterest would become the third largest social networking site behind Twitter and Facebook? The site flourishes despite half a dozen would-be copycats. And how is MySpace still on the list? Or that Facebook would pay $1B to purchase Instagr.am (especially considering it was only available as an iPhone app until a few weeks ago?). No one can accurately predict which company will hit or for how long.

Since one of the lifestyle strategies I follow has me immersed in technology-related fare, I found an up-and-coming enterprise that also ties into connecting meaningful stories with a large number of people. That’s kinda, sorta what we do here, but Cowbird aggregates multiple user-generated content and curates it in one place. A little Scandinavian innovation with a great user interface at work – not operating as a hipster haven is a refreshing change. YouTube did it with tremendous success, but the difference is in providing more personal and thoughtful messaging than say, pratfalls and ranters.

Cowbird is a small community of storytellers, focused on a deeper, longer-lasting, more personal kind of storytelling than you’re likely to find anywhere else on the Web.

I think social-bookmarking sites in the right combination will be the next wave. We’re bombarded with a never-ending supply of information with no consideration for quality, so someone had to step in with better filters. They’re accepting requests while growing the network, so this is the ideal time to join!

We all have stories to tell. What do you want to present to the world?

Get Inspired! Series: Defining And Redefining Who You Are

Faith — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:00:22 +0000

Actress Thandie Newton discussing coming to terms with her identity at TedGlobal 2011. This is why it’s so important for women to be aware, awake and alert so their self-image and self-esteem are firmly rooted. It impacts every relationship – especially the most important one: with ourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzKBGtf0i0M

This is very important for those black women who’ve been hammered by negative images by other blacks. This impacts any offspring they may have whether they are the product of an interracial or intracultural coupling. This is also important for those who adopt children of different races and will assist non-black women who are raising children with some black heritage.

There’s the external tied to race/ethnicity, general appearance and tapping into feminine identity and the internal spiritual, mental outlook that supports and grounds us. Things we may disregard as adults can have significant impact on children. We need something bigger than us to live up to.

Newton also gave an interview on The Talk in February, while promoting a Tyler Perry movie. No, my opinion about Perry being one of the biggest arbiters of Pain Porn and his specific African-American Women Are Horrid portrayal in his projects as deliberate hasn’t changed. That’s because he chooses to focus on stories about cruel and broken people who toil in misery for a crumb.

What Newton discussed about the stress being the impetus for her film character’s cruelty to her daughter, reiterates how women need support systems to maintain physical, mental and emotional stability. This is why higher-caliber relationships are not a take it or leave it option. We see the results of the chaos stemming from deteriorating communities as many women compromised for naught.

We can make better choices by not limiting our options to begin with. We can change course if we see the need to adjust our present to create a different (even brighter) future. We can share what we’ve learned with our peers and school younger generations (who are willing to listen). How about that!

In Honor Of Kate & Will’s Anniversary Let’s Reaffirm True Compatibility

Faith — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 11:00:39 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vos_neGifoU

Yes, they’ve been immortalized as ~~Ken & Barbie~~ dolls!

It’s hard to believe how quickly the year has flown by. It’s already the One Year anniversary of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. I’m making observations with regards to how women can use their Charm Offensive to position themselves for higher-caliber marriages and business relationships.

Let’s revisit: Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #6: Who Said A “Whipped” Man Is A Bad Thing?

Some of us may not have had such thought and care placed in securing our futures but as adults we can guide our destinies. Using your very own special brand of womanhood, what I call the Charm Offensive any enterprising babe with brains can go after and claim greatness. I’m not just talking about romance, but let’s be clear having close ties is a very important component to a full life. Having a career and being well-educated is not enough. We need a 360 degree life. There’s no reason having a significant other, ideally a husband is not a logical conclusion.

High-profile and celebrity relationships offer certain perks but come with certain pressures. Of course ALL relationships have costs and benefits. How a woman navigates through such quagmires depends on her standards, expectations and life experiences. Every relationship has rights and responsibilities. To ignore that will surely breed contempt.

I’ve noticed more and more women are wary – if not openly disdainful of men and marriage. Let’s face it, many have a reason to be distrustful. Women don’t respect men because all they see are a**holes. Yet, women also have to take responsibility for “acting like men” when we’re collectively happier basking in our W.O.M.A.N. and being treated like ladies.

I respect our innate female nature. I don’t think women can have it all. I have no interest in being Super Woman, Mammy or Mule. I support the social gains attributed to ‘feminism’, but not the relationship chaos that’s gone unchecked.

Women are also at war with themselves and each other. Feeling ashamed for wanting to show affection. They want to stamp out ‘girly’ behavior as early as possible. Women lack vetting skills while assuming they know it all!

This is where those who are willing to learn, promote discourse and discuss in good faith strategies, mental changes and behavioral assessments will find it useful to have the type of conversations we engage in here. Relationships are supposed to benefit both people and offspring if applicable. We see the results of the imbalance.

Let’s continue making progress.

When Advertisers Positively Acknowledge Black Women #2

Faith — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:00:16 +0000

Continuing our discussion from February – by supporting those who are supportive of you – we’ve got some new commercials that show black women in a positive light. Which is not the same thing as pandering or being ‘ironic’ for the sake of attention, paternalism or worse! The brands do need to label their ads better so we can find them by a simple SEO search.

Much of the future of advertising has to take online viewership into greater consideration. Yes, brands that means you!

I dub this ad: I’m every mom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7WMjtAxzMg

I dub this your younger sister’s cute friend is feeling you -ask her out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNlHnX3STX8

I dub this sexy cereal. Bear in mind, the commercial was just released and there are no links posted yet. Yes, that’s the same actress from the Gain ad featured in the first post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3xMqQaLcWE

As some people could use a few media literacy lessons and disseminating images from a socio-racio-feminine perspective (gender, race, class), there may not be a shared consensus. That’s why we discuss and review!

*Update 4/27 – found another one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McjaaCYqV5w

I’m tacking on this music video from Timothy Bloom that a reader left in the comments from the post If You’re An Ally Of Black Women. His duet professes an admiration for and features a black woman. It’s provocative for sure but he’s right there in the mix, instead of trying to be ‘cute’. This separates the boys from the men.

*Before the Pavlov’s Dog response kicks in, aka seeing this as ‘proof’ of a sweeping ‘black love’ that will heal all injury against black women, let me remind you this is ONE video. Bloom has another video with a non-BW love interest. This is not a blanket endorsement.

You still need to do your homework, but hey enjoy because they make a striking pair physically and vocally. Perhaps the featured artist Veronika Bozeman, who co-wrote the song would be better served (and serve us) through our enthusiastic support.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np_dW7yzhM8