Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #9: The Adventures Of Man-Children

Oh boy! Here’s to hoping most of you ladies identify and quickly discard the enfante terribles, but I’m still not decided on whether they are deeply harmful or a part of the dating foibles women may run into. I suppose it depends on how deeply you get caught up.

Your successful navigation away from grown males with grammar school mentalities does come from standard checklists and time, but often we are in the middle of exercising all of our freedoms as modern women and may not realize we’re in a version of Never Never Land until it’s too late.

I was reading Jenny Mac’s blog, Let’s Have A Cocktail and she is hilarious! She wrote about a guy from her past – making sure of course to mention she’s happily married now – but reading her story of the Chicken Lady had me rolling! I also like the fact that she can discuss such misadventures with her mom. Not all us can or want to, hehe.

If you read through her tale of 20-something angst involving a 30-something loser you will laugh but you might also say, .”..there but for the grace of God….”

I was reminded of two scenes from Sex and the City that touched on this.

Hot Child In The City

part of this is NSFW

Samantha tells Carrie to dump dude immediately, but our fair lass must find out for herself what a douchebag he is. A douchebag with a sheepish grin anyway.

Carrie is given sufficient warning that this guy is not a keeper, but since this was the season she broke up with my favorite furniture designer I understood why she took leave of her senses:

  • When Wade’s mother calls Carrie to ask him if he’s given the dog his medicine.
  • When Carrie realizes Wade lives at home because he’s spending money buying premium ganja.
  • When they get toasted, eat fried chicken at the ‘rents and are busted. Wade says it’s Carrie’s pot…and she takes it home with her.

Everyone’s life will not end on a high note like it did in this episode (oh did I make a pun?), but this is one of my favorites for a reason.



If you enjoyed this chapter of the Evaluating Men Series check out Vol. 1-8.


11 Replies to “Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #9: The Adventures Of Man-Children”

  1. It's so funny (at least it is now) how left out I used to feel when the girls I used to hang out with would complain about their boyfriends or the losers they were dating. I wanted to be able to talk about how bad my dude was, but I didn't have that many negative experiences with guys.

    I think with all women, there is a big enough segment that LOVES that type of drama. They could easily get another guy or dumb the bf, but they choose not to. A lot of these women are choosing to stay in their unhappy situations. It's like they can't get enough of it. It reminds me of the relationship many black women have with pain porn (Precious, Colored Girls, etc). They just can't seem to put it down and opt for more positivity in their life.


    Reminds me of the show Nanny 911 (?) where the nanny lives with the family for like 2 weeks to help them with their unruly children. I always loved when she talked about the kids and how well they can manipulate their parents. The parents think they don't know any better but the Nanny tells them the children know EXACTLY what's going on. They can pick up on their parents emotions and the relationship between the mom and the dad and use them to take advantage (getting new toys, no bedtime, screaming all the time). Hell, I did they same thing when I was a kid!

    But it's disturbing watching the "man child" display this same type of behavior. They can be walking down the street or in a club (both are places i would never try to meet a man) and they can pick out which girl they would most likely be able to manipulate and who will put up with their "grown males with grammar school mentalities" ways.

    1. Some women do want to hold on to the pain -- and need to buy that Carly Simon song from the 70's. Some women don't know any better because like many of us, we're fed conflicting information. We're supposed to be "modern" women with all the freedom of a man, remember. This is what trips us up.

      1. 'I haven't got time fore the pain…I haven't got room for the pain…I haven't the need for the pain!….'

    2. "The Adventures of Man-Children"

      I don't know why, but I giggled when I read that. It sounds like the title of a documentary that needs to be made!!

      Anyways, I had a slight encounter with a DBR man child today. Ah yes, according to his standards, he was trying to "pick me up". You would think that a young man hoping to have a date with a young lady would have the good sense to be respectful when inquiring to her. On my summer job today, I was sitting in a chair at the cash register ringing up this customer. The first words from this person's mouth was not "What's your name, miss?". It was not a pleasant day greeting. He didn't even inquire about how I was doing. The conversation went exactly like this:

      Me: "$3.22 sir."
      Him: (a slight pause) "…Stan' up so I can see how thick you is."
      Me: (thinking WTF?!) "No."
      Him: "Why not?"
      Me: (I say nothing as I handle his change)
      Him: You look thick from where you sittin'. Are you thick?
      Me: Am I overweight? Yes.
      Him: "Nah, nah. That's a good thing. I like dat juicy shit." (He walks away with his things, leaving me to curse him out under my breath as I helped another customer)

      Grammar school mentalities indeed. That type of entitlement mentality is something I expect from little children before it's disciplined out of them. Needless to say, I was quite PO'd. I wanted to tell him to F-off, but that would have been very unladylike around other people. 😉 Besides, another cashier was around and he gave him a few choice words. I thank God I don't fall for that BS like so many others do.

      1. Oh my goodness!!! Are you kidding me! He said this in a public place — ewww. Good thing you were in a public place!

    1. Hey JennyMac: Thanks so much for stopping by. I love your blog. I certainly wasn't trying to imply your experience was even remotely fun. Clearly it was not! Your experiences will hopefully give some younger women pause and get to thinking about the ramifications of even the simplest of actions. I'm sure had you not been impaired you would've been able to determine that guy was a loser a lot sooner. We win some we lose some. Glad you can laugh about it now — and of course you're happily married which is better than many women.

  2. MAN CHILDREN" are the result of males who are SPOILED BY THEIR MOTHERS—the mother wouldnt let the father, (if the father is responsible) not raise a boy into MANHOOD (building positive connections)--not being spoiled by mom and other females--one way to change this, although sounding politically incorrect, is to have NO MORE SEXUAL ACTIVITY until married—I believe some relationships can handle this but not MANY…all teenage boys should read the BOOK OF PROVERBS in the bible

    1. The other issue is these males are not being positively influenced by MEN. A mother cannot raise a boy to manhood successfully on her own. Have we not already proved this time and time again?

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