Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #15: Non-Verbal Cues Expressing Interest

Alrighty, after some of the recent social upheaval and blogger dust-ups my planned forum posting schedule is slowly being integrated. Finally! I’m with those of you who are like-minded enough like this >_< to keep it moving. We’ll continue sharing and exchanging affirming and practical information we can all apply offline as we continue on our life’s journey.

One of the most often asked questions women have is how to best approach men. Well, my reply is you don’t! Women Must Not Be The Aggressor. Men have to take initiative, otherwise the burden of pacing a relationship will fall to you. Don’t get locked up behind bars in “Superwoman” jail. Be free!

Weak men who’ve been emasculated or over-indulged are no bueno! I don’t care how ‘nice’ they seem. That’s an imbalance that will bleed into every aspect of your life. Taking care of a grown man-child loses its charm very quickly. You also don’t want a hyper-masculine male with a puffed-out chest who’s domineering to mask his inadequacies and insecurities.

You can’t be in control all the time either. It goes without saying you need to prepare yourself for a relationship. Being assertive in business requires certain skill sets that don’t lend so well in the personal arena. You throw out the bait and men reel it in. If you’re negotiating boundaries it’s okay to let go with a man who plans, protects, problem-solves and provides once he’s proven himself.

Here’s a clip from the movie A Bronx Tale when ‘C’ and Jane meet. (Go to the site to view) Take notes ladies. She doesn’t say a word, but the looks shared between them – pure va-va-voom! She smiles, looks away and smiles some more. She’s friendly, approachable but does not directly initiate. Jane doesn’t hide her interest and leaves ‘C’ wanting more.

The next time he runs into her at school, he makes sure to introduce himself and walks her home! The story is set in the 1960’s and yes Jane was a little bold, but it removed any concerns ‘C’ would have about asking her out. Which he does. They are too cute. Jane used her w.o.m.a.n. to her advantage didn’t she? So can you!

My favorite quotation from the movie is at the end:

I learned something from these two men. I learned to give love and get love unconditionally. You just have to accept people for what they are. And I learned the greatest gift of all: the saddest thing in life is wasted talent.

The choices that you make will shape your life forever. You can ask anybody from my neighborhood, and they’ll just tell you, ‘This is just another Bronx tale’.

6 Replies to “Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #15: Non-Verbal Cues Expressing Interest”

  1. Thank you for showing us the "how" -not just the "what". 🙂 I always knew that I should flirt using minimal energy, as too much effort would appear aggressive, but I didn't know how. Still, I will have to get over my shyness 🙂

  2. I really like your article. At first I just read the words, but when I saw the clip of when 'C and Jane meet' and saw the non-verbal flirting, I finally saw what you had meant. Usually I just lurk, but this article (and the verbal example) was so awesome I felt I had to comment. Thank you for doing this!

    1. Yes, there’s a reason why I had to link offsite. Any media content that isn’t user-generated is published at the discretion of the copyright holder. Every video of this was pulled from Youtube recently and I had to go hunting for another copy. Thank goodness for AnyClip! But they have to pay a royalty so you have to view at their site, which I have no problem with. Sure, it would be nice if I could have posted here but spending a few seconds to go to a link isn’t a hardship. It’s better than not having the content available at all.

    1. We can look to many examples in pop culture that reaffirm certain basics about men and women. Men like to chase women and we can position ourselves to get 'caught' even if we're secretly controlling the situation.

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