Reading Melina’s work on deploying womanly arts has truly transformed my life. My journey began with her blog, “The Art Of Being Feminine” and continues with her premium site “Feminissima“. To say it was an eye-opener is an understatement. Where some women may be offended (???), I see the promise of a return to what makes us unique and powerful. It takes confidence to rely on our instincts and not let societal pressures, external agendas or inner doubts override what we know to be inherently true about ourselves.
Black women in particular have been maligned or bought into a distorted outlook of themselves. We need to stop being martyrs and fulfill our destinies. Every woman as an individual has her own particular set of strengths she should become familiar with and utilize.
Patriarchy has it’s benefits and disadvantages – for both genders in fact. While women have successfully reshaped society to be more favorable from a political perspective, there has been a communication breakdown between men and women. People don’t understand their roles within personal relationships anymore. Women began to act like men in adopting some of the same traits that caused such an uproar to begin with. In turn men have been allowed to stop being the providers, protectors, problem-solvers and producers that give them their sense of purpose.
It’s time to reclaim W.O.M.A.N. Being a woman doesn’t automatically make you a damsel in distress any more than it does being a ball-buster. We must sometimes walk a fine line between outside expectations and inner perspectives in figuring out what where that balance lies.
This is still a patriarchal society. We can take comfort in knowing that instead of trying to wrest control from men we can instead return to shaping and influencing its direction and scope — and real men will gladly step forward to meet our needs. We can still achieve our goals and do so with a capable and willing partner or advocate working on our behalf. This is why we need to continue making patriarchy work for us instead of fighting to dismantle it.
Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should or have to. If it’s in a cat’s nature to kill things and bring them home do we want to declaw and entrap our furry friend? How much happier that cat is when it can roam free. It’s still domesticated afterall! If we don’t want to be trapped in a gilded cage (from exercising our “freedoms” that come back to bite us in the you know what) or denigrated — why do we insist on trying to push the unnatural roles on men to be more like women? If I wanted to be in a relationship with a woman I’d be a lesbian!
Now, I am of course talking about well-adjusted men who are fulfilling their duty (or willing to make necessary adjustments), not males who hide under women’s skirts, are jealous of or in pursuit of undermining them. Misogynists and man-children need not apply!
Tapping into or regaining your strength in character to be a lady with goals, a sense of purpose and deploying solid boundaries makes us reliable, emotionally stable and ultimately formidable. People with values will be drawn to us and coupling this with a sense of adventure has the makings for a remarkable life. Those women who have captured their essence are happier and ultimately lead more satisfactory lives than those who remain mired n controversy and denial.
We need to seriously examine what legacy we leave behind and whether we’re adding to society or draining precious resources. Let’s make a decision today to help create a better world by the time we depart this mortal coil.