The Battle Has Been Won: Now You Have To Live Within & Help Expand This New Power Dynamic
As always, keep your wits about you. I had to ask myself if I really wanted to have another conversation related to Black Women’s Empowerment (BWE) messaging. It’s not for lack of want for success in the lives of countless women, but I have to ask whether most women are moving forward or circling the same issues repeatedly and why that is so appealing. So consider this another Maintenance Report. As we are in the era of post-BWE success, do we need regular reminders of what BWE is and is not to drive home the accurate message of self-actualization?
Is looking back the best method for determining progress? Wouldn’t goalposts along the route better serve those who have decided to move forward? For those who’ve benefited, did you take yours and cut and run? Where’s the due diligence? If you’ve noticed something amiss in the blogosphere have you ignored it or assumed someone else would address it? You’re certainly not required to be self-sacrificing, but that’s not paying it forward either. Remember, whatever you focus on expands and what you abandon diminishes. We’ve extensively discussed the scope, purpose, focus and implementation of proper BWE messaging (along with its upkeep) here and at a handful of forums. So please, bookmark this post and use as a reference if necessary. Let’s review a few archived posts and continue after the jump.
This is all free content, but if you’d like a detailed report you can purchase the BWE Primer.
Do women who talk about empowerment but claim confusion about what it really means, just want to take the blue pill and be put back to sleep inside the Matrix? There are those who actively engage in polluting the waters who have been allowed to operate with impunity by those who know better, so many women trying to leave Blackistan will be trapped behind enemy lines when it all crashes.
Diluted medicine will kill you faster than no remedy at all.
First Rule Of Order: You Have To Want To Save Yourself
Maybe you’re not at the point where you’d articulate it in that manner. You have to feel in your gut that something is wrong, but you don’t need to know what it is specifically before preparing yourself for a change. You may not be in a position to do anything about it for years, but hold onto that inner knowing to use at a later date. I fully believe the Universe meets you whatever stage in development you’re at when you’re looking for answers. But you have to take the first steps.
The easiest point of reference I can offer is The Matrix.
- Neo had a moderately pleasant life, but knew something was off. He felt inauthentic but didn’t know why. He was searching for something his entire life.
- Neo had to make a decision. There was no going back. He’d have to see it through completion or die.
Most black women don’t think the choices they make are life-altering and transformative on such a grand scale, but collectively a tiny shift in a small group will be a game-changer.
No, you can’t go back to sleep. Flocking to BWE-lite because you’re lazy, scared, or intentionally “confused” means you’ve rejected yourself and all of the abundance of the “promised land” because you refuse to cross over.
- Neo had to go through the training program to prepare for the challenges ahead.
- Neo had many doubts despite being told he was the “One” and faltered before stepping decisively into his true power.
- Cypher betrayed everyone because he didn’t want to walk the talk.
One of the easiest ways of avoiding confusion is to stop paying attention to what most black people discuss and remove yourself.
BWE is not music for the masses, but the divestment strategies are clear for individual black women to implement. Any confusion usually stems from remaining in the toxic Blackistan environments and following business as usual.
Understand that adopting the language used from our numerous conversations was never meant to replace the interpersonal work required in changing mindsets and making different choices. From my observation most BW don’t want to cut the cord, which is how fake-BWE and BWE-lite compromises occur. Denial and direct opposition of BWE has been vicious but serves as minimal resistance compared to those who simply prefer to settle or go along to get along.
Making permanent changes is a timely process but it’s meant to be followed through to the end as quickly as possible. A multi-year learning curve is not necessary for a woman to make changes unless someone is new to hearing about BWE
Second Rule Of Order: Put The Black Male Agendas On NigNore
This should cover individuals, organizations and current societal conditions that at some cut-off point do not support black woman free agency and uplift. That includes other black women. That includes the racism/white hegemony arguments. That includes the way certain feminist policies are implemented. That includes any lack of accountability on the part of black males to police themselves. Everyone must prove and maintain their loyalty. Patriarchy rules the world for a reason. Even if racism disappeared tomorrow, there’s still sexism and violence against women to contend with – and black women-specific gender misogyny.
Patriarchy will insure a male role is written first and with better character development for film and tv roles. Go take a look at the current crop of tv shows and movies released right now. Count the parts. Then divide that number by the fake reality tv and see who makes up the bulk of those shows. There are numerous shows and movies that have large casts with several male roles filled by black and white actors, one or two female roles represented by others – but you’d be hard-pressed to find a black woman extra in the background UNLESS it fits a stereotype.
We have to be cognizant of the images being displayed of us and who is displaying those images. You’re not powerless to take action to remedy this. You don’t have to simultaneously support your erasure or other people’s ratchetness. We should not be so quick to hold “prefect” images in vain all for the purpose of keeping it real
stupid. Know that people are going to do what benefits them and many are invested in uplifting BM interests without any reciprocity AND to the detriment of BW. There are certain groups of people with particular cultural ties and power clusters who are immediately catered to and defended. This isn’t a reflection of more collective juice, but in how the squeeze method was applied. Ask yourself if you’re being treated like a favored child or the bastard cast-off.
Don’t assume loyalty, jump to be angry with or defend the poor behavior of or give any of your time, energy, resources and money to people, causes and practices that do not benefit you or where there are no alliances yet evidenced. Everyone has to pay at the door for entry.
Third Rule Of Order: Know The Difference Between A Diamond And A Lump Of Coal
It’s the same rock but one has gone through the necessary changes to get to its fabulous end result.
Talking the talk but not doing anything will have you going in circles. Advocacy without personal transformation will have you stuck in Sista Soldier mode the rest of your life. Instructing ways for black women to be “happy” without addressing the underlying causes why they are not (from being physically and emotionally assaulted) is insulting. Going “white” doesn’t automatically make you righteous in relationships. Putting an academic spin using big words is meaningless without action. It’s why every time I write something about black women being a certain kind of way I get a spike in blog hits, lots of shared links but anything seriously related to just being “normal” – not a “black woman striving” does not generate the same pavlovian response.
Far too many black women are addicted to pain porn and it manifests itself in some rather destructive ways. Which is why if you come to this forum and search the archives you’ll notice the same conversations said 250,000 different ways, but many of those same women are now regular participants at the BWE-poser spaces even after the lies and anti-BW agendas were exposed.
It’s what they want, but what about you?
They want to be part of the crowd and not separate themselves because they care far too much abut what others think. One could argue it’s a matter of personal preference, but it’s a choice to eat tufts of cotton candy-flavored poison. BWE was a new and exciting internet-based sport for many black women to discuss, not to make necessary back-end offline life changes. Hence the plethora of conversations that eat around the corners of the message instead of taking a bite and digesting it. Trust me when I tell you, having been in the trenches AND out amongst the walking dead I can attest to the animosity and apathy of many.
MANY changes have taken place, but many refuse to cross the finish line. There have been and are still a lot of silent observers evaluating these responses. BWE is like Occupy in the sense of acknowledging a certain status quo that doesn’t work. Just like many of the Occupy bunch had been fine as long as their nest was feathered, so it is with many black women. Let them get their fake BWE at the expense of benefiting others. Others want moldy crumbs and head pats to be “special” or non-threatening.
Black women collectively control ONE TRILLION DOLLARS in this country but it all gets pissed out at the end of the day and into other people’s pockets. We’ll just keep peeling layers and try to reach young girls, but the current crop of nascent life-changers have already chosen Deathstyles by Blackistan so that they might be part of lie.
If we’re not not whole-heartedly uplifting, building alliances and keeping the message intact on our end, then we are contributing to the collective’s demise.