Deathstyles by Blackistan & Incorrect BWE Messaging

The Battle Has Been Won: Now You Have To Live Within & Help Expand This New Power Dynamic

As always, keep your wits about you. I had to ask myself if I really wanted to have another conversation related to Black Women’s Empowerment (BWE) messaging. It’s not for lack of want for success in the lives of countless women, but I have to ask whether most women are moving forward or circling the same issues repeatedly and why that is so appealing. So consider this another Maintenance Report. As we are in the era of post-BWE success, do we need regular reminders of what BWE is and is not to drive home the accurate message of self-actualization?

Is looking back the best method for determining progress? Wouldn’t goalposts along the route better serve those who have decided to move forward? For those who’ve benefited, did you take yours and cut and run? Where’s the due diligence? If you’ve noticed something amiss in the blogosphere have you ignored it or assumed someone else would address it? You’re certainly not required to be self-sacrificing, but that’s not paying it forward either. Remember, whatever you focus on expands and what you abandon diminishes. We’ve extensively discussed the scope, purpose, focus and implementation of proper BWE messaging (along with its upkeep) here and at a handful of forums. So please, bookmark this post and use as a reference if necessary. Let’s review a few archived posts and continue after the jump.

If You’re An Ally Of Black Women You Had Better Go Over EVERYTHING With DISCERNMENT Before Supporting ANYTHING!

You Can Be A Suicide Bomber For Blackistan Or Serve Your Best Interests Like Other Women Do

Why Is Thinking About Your Needs First Still So Difficult For Black Women?

I Am Promoting The Idea Of A Super-”Elite” Black Woman

The “F” Word: Femininity v. Feminism Battle For Dominance In Women’s Lives

It’s Time To Let Go Of The Pain (Porn)

Are Asian Women “Trophy” Wives Or Just Smart At Picking Quality Husbands?

This is all free content, but if you’d like a detailed report you can purchase the BWE Primer.

Do women who talk about empowerment but claim confusion about what it really means, just want to take the blue pill and be put back to sleep inside the Matrix? There are those who actively engage in polluting the waters who have been allowed to operate with impunity by those who know better, so many women trying to leave Blackistan will be trapped behind enemy lines when it all crashes.

Diluted medicine will kill you faster than no remedy at all.


First Rule Of Order:  You Have  To Want To Save Yourself

Maybe you’re not at the point where you’d articulate it in that manner. You have to feel in your gut that something is wrong, but you don’t need to know what it is specifically before preparing yourself for a change. You may not be in a position to do anything about it for years, but hold onto that inner knowing to use at a later date. I fully believe the Universe meets you whatever stage in development you’re at when you’re looking for answers. But you have to take the first steps.

The easiest point of reference I can offer is The Matrix.

  • Neo had a moderately pleasant life, but knew something was off. He felt inauthentic but didn’t know why. He was searching for something his entire life.
  • Neo had to make a decision. There was no going back. He’d have to see it through completion or die.

Most black women don’t think the choices they make are life-altering and transformative on such a grand scale, but collectively a tiny shift in a small group will be a game-changer.

No, you can’t go back to sleep. Flocking to BWE-lite because you’re lazy, scared, or intentionally “confused” means you’ve rejected yourself and all of the abundance of the “promised land” because you refuse to cross over.

  • Neo had to go through the training program to prepare for the challenges ahead.
  • Neo had many doubts despite being told he was the “One” and faltered before stepping decisively into his true power.
  • Cypher betrayed everyone because he didn’t want to walk the talk.

One of the easiest ways of avoiding confusion is to stop paying attention to what most black people discuss and remove yourself.

BWE is not music for the masses, but the divestment strategies are clear for individual black women to implement. Any confusion usually stems from remaining in the toxic Blackistan environments and following business as usual.

Understand that adopting the language used from our numerous conversations was never meant to replace the interpersonal work required in changing mindsets and making different choices. From my observation most BW don’t want to cut the cord, which is how fake-BWE and BWE-lite compromises occur. Denial and direct opposition of BWE has been vicious but serves as minimal resistance compared to those who simply prefer to settle or go along to get along.

Making permanent changes is a timely process but it’s meant to be followed through to the end as quickly as possible. A multi-year learning curve is not necessary for a woman to make changes unless someone is new to hearing about BWE

Second Rule Of Order: Put The Black Male Agendas On NigNore

This should cover individuals, organizations and current societal conditions that at some cut-off point do not support black woman free agency and uplift. That includes other black women. That includes the racism/white hegemony arguments. That includes the way certain feminist policies are implemented. That includes any lack of accountability on the part of black males to police themselves. Everyone must prove and maintain their loyalty. Patriarchy rules the world for a reason. Even if racism disappeared tomorrow, there’s still sexism and violence against women to contend with – and black women-specific gender misogyny.

Patriarchy will insure a male role is written first and with better character development for film and tv roles. Go take a look at the current crop of tv shows and movies released right now. Count the parts. Then divide that number by the fake reality tv and see who makes up the bulk of those shows. There are numerous shows and movies that have large casts with several male roles filled by black and white actors, one or two female roles represented by others – but you’d be hard-pressed to find a black woman extra in the background UNLESS it fits a stereotype.

We have to be cognizant of the images being displayed of us and who is displaying those images. You’re not powerless to take action to remedy this. You don’t have to simultaneously support your erasure or other people’s ratchetness. We should not be so quick to hold “prefect” images in vain all for the purpose of keeping it real stupid. Know that people are going to do what benefits them and many are invested in uplifting BM interests without any reciprocity  AND to the detriment of BW.  There are certain groups of people with particular cultural ties and power clusters who are immediately catered to and defended. This isn’t a reflection of more collective juice, but in how the squeeze method was applied. Ask yourself if you’re being treated like a favored child or the bastard cast-off.

Don’t assume loyalty, jump to be angry with or defend the poor behavior of or give any of your time, energy, resources and money to people, causes and practices that do not benefit you or where there are no alliances yet evidenced. Everyone has to pay at the door for entry.

Third Rule Of Order: Know The Difference Between A Diamond And A Lump Of Coal

It’s the same rock but one has gone through the necessary changes to get to its fabulous end result.

Talking the talk but not doing anything will have you going in circles. Advocacy without personal transformation will have you stuck in Sista Soldier mode the rest of your life. Instructing ways for black women to be “happy” without addressing the underlying causes why they are not (from being physically and emotionally assaulted) is insulting. Going “white” doesn’t automatically make you righteous in relationships. Putting an academic spin using big words is meaningless without action. It’s why every time I write something about black women being a certain kind of way I get a spike in blog hits, lots of shared links but anything seriously related to just being “normal” – not a “black woman striving” does not generate the same pavlovian response.

Far too many black women are addicted to pain porn and it manifests itself in some rather destructive ways. Which is why if you come to this forum and search the archives you’ll notice the same conversations said 250,000 different ways, but many of those same women are now regular participants at the BWE-poser spaces even after the lies and anti-BW agendas were exposed.

It’s what they want, but what about you?

They want to be part of the crowd and not separate themselves because they care far too much abut what others think. One could argue it’s a matter of personal preference, but it’s a choice to eat tufts of cotton candy-flavored poison. BWE was a new and exciting internet-based sport for many black women to discuss, not to make necessary back-end offline life changes. Hence the plethora of conversations that eat around the corners of the message instead of taking a bite and digesting it. Trust me when I tell you, having been in the trenches AND out amongst the walking dead I can attest to the animosity and apathy of many.

MANY changes have taken place, but many refuse to cross the finish line. There have been and are still a lot of silent observers evaluating these responses. BWE is like Occupy in the sense of acknowledging a certain status quo that doesn’t work. Just like many of the Occupy bunch had been fine as long as their nest was feathered, so it is with many black women. Let them get their fake BWE at the expense of benefiting others. Others want moldy crumbs and head pats to be “special” or non-threatening.

Black women collectively control ONE TRILLION DOLLARS in this country but it all gets pissed out at the end of the day and into other people’s pockets. We’ll just keep peeling layers and try to reach young girls, but the current crop of nascent life-changers have already chosen Deathstyles by Blackistan so that they might be part of  lie.

If we’re not not whole-heartedly uplifting, building alliances and keeping the message intact on our end, then we are contributing to the collective’s demise.

14 Replies to “Deathstyles by Blackistan & Incorrect BWE Messaging”

  1. Excellent post. As an example of " confusion " let me relate a conversation I had with an educated drop of black lady coworkers. None of them could understand why I refuse to see/finance the latest cinematic degradation of aas, with nonstop n-word bombs for nearly the full length of the film. Someone on IMDb estimated the word was used every 15-20 seconds, which in a 2+hour film is quite excessive. The argument given in defense of this foolishness was " It was accurate to the time period ". I countered with a question. You may be familiar with DW Griffith's " Birth of a Nation". It was released in 1902 I believe, and basically was a nice propaganda film for the KKK. Quite a few aa people were murdered as result of that cinematic release. Well, it was a silent film and throughout that film, if I recall correctly, not one instance of the n-word appeared. Now if the out and out Klansman didn't use that derogatory slur in THAT time period, what gives this person carte blanche to carpet bomb an entire film in 2013? The response? Crickets. Then came the " I can't judge because I didn't see the film " straw men. My last comment on the matter was a reference to what happened to John Galliano when he made his anti-semitic comments. Chanel wasted no time in firing him. I think it took all of one business day before he was FINISHED in fashion. Period. Full stop.
    Many bw are indeed waking up and silently making their exodus from Blackistan and the Blackistani residents. However, for many bw the idea of self first continues to be a foreign idea, no matter how accomplished or successful they may be at first glance. Then these same women refuse to see the connection between financing their OWN degradation and people treating bw with disdain, lack of concern, apathy and outright indifference. There was some show on tv about how people react to fake situations observed by ordinary people.Each and every time a black woman was involved in any scenario the " ordinary " people were quick to either ignore her plight if it was a situation where she obviously needed help or quick to call the police to report perceived illegal activity. When a white woman was placed in the exact same scenarios everyone assumed she was in need and went out of their way to be helpful.
    Willful complicity with overt acts to deny our humanity will bite everyone in the rear end. You can only lead a horse to water . . .you can not make them drink. Yes, I engaged in that useless conversation because I felt it might stimulate some critical thinking in the participants at some later date. However, those of us who heard the BWE message either as a confirmation of what we already knew or as a blueprint to improve our lives, the ladies who listened, planned, and acted will definitely be better off when it hits the fan.
    Sunda Croonquists indeed. My father in law suffered a " stroke " and decided to nut up, calling some of his caregivers n-word. Unfortunately for him he did this in front of my husband ( he has 2 black in laws, me, his daughter's husband and their biracial teenage son ). We were supposed to host Thanksgiving that year. That was 4 years ago. I have not seen him since, as my husband told him EXACTLY where he could go, what he could do and has refused to have him in the same room with me. He also informed his other family members if they want to see us, his father should not be anywhere in the vicinity. THAT is a quality man. White doesn't make right…character does. Sorry for the longwinded, rather nonlinear response. Justifying some asshat who wants to make a buck by publicly denigrating my people just makes me see red.

    1. No, respond away for as long as you want and THANKS for mentioning Birth Of A Nation! You're right. Nowhere in any of the racial patriarchy one-up-manship battles between the black male director and pontificators (who are guilty of derogatory actions towards black women) complaining about that Django mess have any of them offered legit commentary. That weak claim about "the ancestors" is really about their ego and competitiveness.

      BOAN caused great harm as a media influence to fan the flames of hatred. Tarantino just wants an excuse to belittle blacks and reassert white authority witht acit approval. The thing that kills me though are the blacks who support him for they should know better. Of course he;d never make a movie related to Jews where he used ethnic slurs particular to them for 2 hours.

      That;s so awesome your hubby protected you then and now.

      Galiano is suing to get his job back, but we'll see.

      And thanks also for articulating the process of how many of us were drawn to BWE messaging as a confirmation of things we already knew. It's usually Blackistan related propaganda that has us questioning what we want, what we deserve and what the proper standards are.

  2. I need to add something else that I didn\’t include in the body of the post due to length. While I enjoy Scandal and don\’t think Olivia Pope has to be a saint, I do not necessarily see her as an empowered woman living autonomous and free. Some have been too quick to compare that character to Mrs. Clair Huxtable with a bit of disdain that is unacceptable. The Cosby Show is a comedy, but we never at Clair. Nor did she make a fool out of herself. There is nothing wrong with showing a well-educated, stable, financially sound family with a visibly black mother, wife, career-woman. It\’s not necessary to diminish Clair to uplift Olivia.

    Olivia is out of balance -- which makes for great drama -- but not real-life aspiration. I say all of this as another example of the subtle but definite lines that have to be drawn related to the accurate BWE message of empowerment. Claire had already arrived at her truth. Olivia is still working on hers. Everyone should understand the difference and not throw out the baby with bathwater.

  3. Part 6--Final (whew!—LOL!)

    The bottom line is that many of the intentionally "confused" BW in interracial relationships and marriages will ultimately perish just like the Mammy Mules and Sista Soldiers. At the end of the day, they will all perish because they refuse to build mutually supportive relationships and networks based on actual reciprocity. Just like the Mammy Mules and Sista Soldiers, these intentionally "confused" BW are spending all their resources on various categories of people who will NEVER give them reciprocal support.

    These type of women only seem to notice the lack of reciprocity in their lives when they're in the middle of a personal "Katrina" or some other type of crisis. I think I'll start referring to these intentionally "confused" BW as "Sunda Croonquists." [Folks can look her up to understand the reference.]

    1. Thank you Khadija for your thorough analysis and response!! I appreciate you taking the time to further clarify the situation here as well as at other blogs as a matter of record. If I see something off elsewhere I will address it, but the lack of accountability amongst other BW is rather appalling. You know I actually wrote a post about Sunda Croonquist back in 2009… and this is a PRIME example of lack of proper vetting. That woman chose \”white\” -- not \”right fit\” and look how her life and those of her children have been harmed. Though she may think she\’s progressive and living well, you cannot remain in a toxic environment like that and be okay.

  4. Part 5

    Many of the BW latecomers think that as long as they have a nonblack boyfriend, then that one fact—by itself— automatically means that they’re empowered.

    Meanwhile, just like the Mammy Mules and Sista Soldiers, many of these confused, interracially-dating/married BW latecomers are spending their money to support BM (and others) who HATE them. And these confused, interracially-dating/married BW latecomers are also spending their money to support people who NEVER give them reciprocity.

    Aside from their interracial relationships, a lot of these confused BW latecomers are just like the Sista Soldiers and Mammy Mules in actively financially supporting BM such as Tyler Perry, Jamie Foxx (who has been in the closet about his non-BW-only dating policy), Terrance Howard, etc—and other people—who HATE them.

  5. Part 4

    Many of these BW latecomers are reading 3rd/4th-generation, lightweight BWE-ish blogs that claim to be about BWE, but yet support anti-BW movie mess from anybody who either p*sses on BW (Tyler Perry, Steve Harvey) or erases BW from their own history (Red Tails) or pimps BW consumers for their money while lifting up nonblack women (Michael Ealy, Jamie Foxx, etc., etc.).

    Many BW latecomers are getting a very distorted view of what BWE is about from these lightweight, 3rd and 4th generation, sorta-kinda BWE-ish blogs.

    What I've noticed for several years is that when somebody tells bald-faced LIES about the original BWE blogs and the history of BWE, very few members of the BWE community who were around at the beginning bother to set the record straight. Most of them let those lies stand. For most of the BW coming behind the early adopters (who—just like Blacks in general—are generally too lazy to research the record about anything), those unchallenged lies become the history of BWE.

  6. Part 3

    Anti-BW saboteurs also want BW to believe that they can be empowered while still living and socializing in Blackistan! Such as the blogs that endlessly vent about the non-stop atrocities committed against BW and Black girls in Blackistan—but yet NEVER encourage BW to physically leave Blackistan; and NEVER encourage BW to stop attending predominantly AA social and music events where they're likely to get groped, raped, or killed (such as BW police officer Celena Hollis who was killed at a Jazz Concert in the park in Denver).

    Sincere early adopters of BWE know better than to fall for these false redefinitions of BWE because they were around since the beginning. Unfortunately, many of the BW latecomers coming after the (sincere) early adopters don’t know any better.

  7. Part 2

    Basically, anti-BW saboteurs want to substitute DIS-empowering activities for true empowerment for BW.

    Anti-BW saboteurs want to claim that BW can be all for BWE and still spend their money to support Tyler Perry, Red Tails, Michael Ealy, Terrance Howard movies, Quentin Tarantino (who apparently loves to fill his movies with frequent and/or non-stop use of the n-word), etc. Anti-BW saboteurs want BW to believe that they can be empowered by financially supporting people who hate them!

    Anti-BW saboteurs also want BW to believe that they can be empowered by fixating on BM and what BM are saying and doing!

  8. Part 1


    Yes, the BWE movement has been victorious. And as I said in some recent comments over at Halima's blog, this victory has forced anti-BWE individuals to change their tactics. Now that the BWE movement has succeeded in awakening a critical mass of BW who are in the process of escaping from Blackistan, the overall dynamics of anti-BWE trolling has changed. The “battleground” has shifted because of BWE’s success.

    Unlike before BWE's victory, the anti-BW saboteurs are no longer fighting over the idea of BW and girls being entitled and empowered to live abundant lives. The anti-BW saboteurs know they've already lost that particular battle. Increasing numbers of BW got the BWE memo and are escaping from all manifestations of Blackistan. What the anti-BW saboteurs are fighting for is the definition of empowerment for BW. Anti-BW saboteurs want to substitute DIS-empowering activities for true empowerment. Anti-BW saboteurs want to redefine BWE into meaninglessness.

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