We BW have so many challenges that cause us to downplay our identity as women. Many of us do so as a survival mechanism. It's very unfortunate. Thank goodness we are young enough to see differently, change our minds and ways, and lead our future daughters into a different direction.

It's SO easy for us to play "the role". Just tonight, I was disposing of a piece of furniture I no longer want in my home. My neighbor (a WM) and his family just returned home. He didn't see what I was doing, but he asked me if I needed some help. I told him, "That's alright. I'm fine. Thanks." Now, I was planning to use the grass in my yard to make the transfer smoother. And, I WAS able to successfully dispose of the furniture on my own. However, I am in the habit of constantly turning down assistance that is offered to me, because I don't want to be a burden to others. It was very kind of my neighbor to offer to help. I need to learn to accept help, even if I can manage on my own, just to reaffirm my womanhood and right to support. MOST BW DO. This neighbor has been considerate in many ways. I've noticed him noticing who's on my property, when I've been entering the side door. I really appreciate that, because I live alone, and it's nice to know that someone is noticing/considering my welfare. He isn't inappropriate. He and his wife are happily married. They have a beautiful family. But, just his consideration alone makes me sometimes feel I would like a white husband TOO (I prefer white and Asian men).

Contrast this with a BM neighbor I had. He was a good man and responsible father. However, he sometimes didn't seem to be very considerate of me as a single woman living alone. He and his household members owned several cars. Instead of parking 1 or 2 cars on the street and finding another location for the rest, his household would often use my parking spot for convenience. They wouldn't take other neighbors' spots. Just mine. Anyway, that created a (potential) hardship for me, because I would have to park several houses down the street from my own home. And, I frequently work nonstandard hours. So, I often leave before people are up, and I return home after they've already turned in for the evening. Furthermore, I have to carry groceries, books, and other items, by myself. AND, I live on a small hill. So, how do you think I felt having to park several houses away, at odd hours of the night, carrying several bags of groceries (possibly needing to make multiple trips to my car), walking up a small hill, while everyone else is safely in their homes unaware of my activity, JUST so that his household can park 4ish cars on the street conveniently. AND, I ONLY OWN ONE VEHICLE. Furthermore, my family OWNS this property. I am not a renter. 1-2 of the neighborhood parking spaces are JUSTLY mine. After talking with him a couple of times, they finally stopped. But, WHY didn't these factors and my needs as a single woman ever register in his mind? Shouldn't a man be teaching his sons to have consideration for women? Especially women in their own ethnic group? I've never had this problem with my white neighbors. And, THEY'VE never had this problem WITH HIM.

Anyway, we BW DO need to embrace our femininity and allow ourselves to comfortably enjoy the associated benefits, WITHOUT GUILT.