AOFB Year End Review: Same As It Ever Was vs. Theme From Mahogany

You know as a musician with an extensive genre acquisition I had to make song references. It’s Talking Heads, “Once In A Lifetimesame as it ever was vs. “Do You Know Where You’re Going To?” do you like the things that life is showing you/why do we wait so long to see


As we move into 2011 we may review certain key points but they serve as markers for how far we will have traveled, not for giving credence to.

Right on cue, despite the focus of some forums at uplifting black women there are many amongst the throngs who are simply present to stall and derail the growth process for others.

Some Of You Are REALLY That Predictable….and Obvious

I’m not going to rehash what was the response personified in Halima’s Dec 20th post during a recent conversation at another blogger’s Facebook group, but I am still stunned/perplexed/incredulous at how deeply embedded that dysfunction chip is amongst some of you. I don’t consider myself uber-evolved by any means, but dang it haven’t we been discussing BASIC CORE PRINCIPLES OF SELF-RESPECT for about 4 years now? I think the last two years has been the Tipping Point! The behavior patterns are so obvious and have been displayed time and time again. When will some of you ladies learn? NEVER apparently. The contrast between those women who’ve prepared to leave the Matrix, have already left and who remain is astounding!

Just for the record, a male that tells you he’s not in a “relationship” but is “having sex with someone at the moment until I find the right woman” should not even be a remote possibility of someone to consider…for anything. For a host of reasons, not the least to protect YOU from being his next non-relationship sex partner amongst many other gullible women who are probably running around thinking their somebody’s girlfriend or worse KNOW they’re being used and have resigned to lower themselves into the gutter where that pathetic example of a male resides. But some women who are trolling, arguing against and participating in the BWE forums are still Flat Earth Theorists, Black Love Advocates, White Hegemony Fighters, and Grudge-Holders, Shoot the Messenger types sinking on the Black Community Titanic. Which is your choice. Those of us who think we’re clear had better widen a path for the exploding heads to follow.


What do we want for our lives and do we want to see other women learning and growing? Will we be humble enough to heed solid advice? Will we be able to discern it? We don’t want to have to have these conversations AT ALL! We want all BW to be thriving and in ways that continually challenge and amaze us so we all raise the bar a little bit higher for each successive generation.


This is the end of the line. The last call for your life. There are other women and girls that would use the life-saving information offered amongst the BWE messaging immediately IF they had access to it and saw other women applying it. We do not have time to continue coddling those who’ve had weeks, months, years (?!) to get it together. While we have our own time-lines for our individual journeys it’s time to pick up the pace. Your house is ON FIRE! It’s time to get out unless you want to go up in flames. There’s no time to look back, watch it burn or run back in to get something. Do not attempt to put it out yourself and please don’t throw gasoline on it to make the flames go higher. GET AWAY QUICKLY. Save yourself! Or not.

Blog Posts To Review:

What posts did you find illuminating at Acts Of Faith this year?

Here are some of my personal favorites from 2010:

Let’s Not Forget The Black Women Who Defined The Civil Rights Movement

Essence Magazine REALLY Hates Black Women Don’t Fight Just Walk Away

Will Promoting A Clair Huxtable Lessen The Negative Impact Of A Mary Lee Johnston?

When Keeping It Real In Relationships Goes Wrong

If You Really Want To Get Married

How Does Fighting For Oscar Grant Benefit Black Women?

Pimps, Predators & The Misuse of the Pulpit In the Black Church And How It Ties Into Fatherlessness

A Non-PC Look At The Negative Impact Of African-American Single Motherhood

Are Asian Women “Trophy” Wives Or Just Smart At Picking Quality Husbands?

5th Wave Feminism/Womanism That Works FOR Black Women

Beware The Armchair Intelligentsia: Your Life Is Not A Dissertation!

Don’t Support The Hustlers Who Rob Black Women Of Their Dignity: Just Say NO to Tyler Perry!

Are Black Women Still Blowing Their Dating Chances With White Men?

Why So Many Of Us Are Fat: Resolving The Weighty Issues That Impact Our Health & Well-Being

Thanks to all of the active participants, sister bloggers and readers. AOFB has grown 30% this year with to nearly one million visitors since its inception. I couldn’t do this without your continued support.

We’re going to move into 2011 with our heads held high and continued interpersonal growth. Be well everyone.

13 Replies to “AOFB Year End Review: Same As It Ever Was vs. Theme From Mahogany”

  1. Happy New Year Faith.Thanks for all that you have done for the uplift of African American women and girls.You are greatly appreciated!Wishing you much progress and success for the upcoming year in all that you do.

    God bless you and be safe!

    1. Thanks! I of course want ALL black women to thrive, but yes I am always keeping a particular eye out for my own ethnic group specifically. Wishing you an amazing 2011 as well.

  2. Thank you to everyone who has commented, read and contributed useful information at this forum this year. Monday's post will be a challenge to put words and thoughts into definitive action!

  3. Well, I'm going to say that this post is right up there. That last paragraph alone says it all for me. I had accepted intellectually that not all or even most of us are going to make it. It's really starting to sink in emotionally.

    It's sad but I have no more time to waste. Winter's coming.

    Many of us BWE bloggers have made lots of improvement in different areas this year. I'd like to congratulate you again on kicking 50lbs to the curb, I know you feel better. I invite all of us to do a bit of a "post-mortem" on our progress in different areas this year and plan to succeed in the new!

    1. The emotional aspect still impacts me but it has lessened. As I've been personally sabotaged this year by a few BW for running this forum I've learned a valuable lesson in self-preservation and physically removing myself from any negative sphere of influence. It's been an eye-opener I tell ya! Looking forward to 2011 at your blog as well!

  4. Happy New Year Faith! You've had many great posts this year.

    I have noticed an increase in the amount of black men posting on women's blogs and online magazines, to keep AAW in check. It seems that many young and older AAW don't want to save their own lives. They desperately want to believe in dead concepts live black love and the black community. These women are fixated on ignoring the actions of black men and women around them, and make excuse after excuse for DBR behaviour.

    The only thing we can do is move on…leave the dead behind.

    Here's to a new turn in 2011!

    1. Oh yes….I just had to delete a few from the whiners as I call them. "You're not giving the black man a fair shake…that's why we don't want ya'll anyway". Then why are you here at THIS blog sending me 500 word comments? GTFOH!!! Anyway, it serves to remind me that many people ARE reading our discussions, taking notes and are hopping mad that we're dispensing the red pills!! Too bad. Just wait until more black women marry prominent white males who have access to media companies and other vital industries. The DBRs and their BW enablers/chasers are REALLY going to lose it. Too bad. LIFE will go on and those who want the BEST will seek out the BEST for themselves. I can't wait!!!

  5. happy new year! those were some great posts, good choices for the "best of" list. I too shake my head at some of the dysfunctional thinking that is displayed over and over and over and over and those women just won't get it. no one should force them too either, they just need to get the heck out of the way!

    1. Thanks and even now I'm feeling a little aggravated -- which is not where my focus needs to be be. I want BW to have amazing lives across the board, but that's up to each individual woman. It's draining to have to deflect the Flat Earth Theorists and Black Love Promoters amongst us. There's a big difference between taking the pill to get out of the Matrix and not doing anything afterwards WHILE still blocking other women's progress. Grr! Anyway…I have to focus on those of us who are willing to do whatever it takes to thrive. Someone else can serve as the "getting them up to speed with no timeline or boundaries set for their growth". It just won't be me in 2011!!

      1. "It's draining to have to deflect the Flat Earth Theorists and Black Love Promoters amongst us</>"

        Faith, for Christmas 2010, I give you permission to use the banhammer in all it's glory. This is your forum, and if you don't want to engage certain diversionary arguments, you have the right not to do so. 🙂

        Of course, you don't need my permission, I was just being cheeky. 😉

        1. I know I'm not letting anyone and everyone have access. I'm speaking about seeing the behavior reflected at other forums and discussions. It makes the contrast between moving forward vs choosing to remain stuck and stupid even more obvious. I get tired of it because I do actually want all BW to thrive and I can see that most AA women are going to perish slowly or quickly but it is largely inevitable. I just want to make certain I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!

  6. What a great way to wrap up the year. I came to your blog and some of the other BWE blogs late this summer. I really appreciate all your efforts. I look forward to many interesting conversations for 2011. Your blog has helped me to recognize all the jedi mind tricks that many try to use to prevent bw from moving on in a productive, healthy way. Thank you so much Faith! Happy New Year!

    1. Thank you for always providing useful and encouraging comments. In many ways you are already living the lifestyle we're discussing across these forums and we need more BW to join the ranks of the well-cared for women of this world.

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