abundance is where women who don’t want to wallow in powerlessness go to create a better life

I’m having a poetic epiphany!

Between Questlove, Russell Simmons, Ashley Judd and now Lisa Price of Carol’s Daughter ganging up on black women, denying our heritage, telling us the only blacks are men and all the women are white, it seems the usual denigration has been kicked up a notch while they’re kicking us in the teeth.

You do realize this means we are “winning”, right?

The BWE message hasn’t even reached saturation point yet.

If you will take a lovely skip down Tumblr-ville you can find a plethora of blogs dedicated to celebrating the beauty of black women. BLACK women. These blogs weren’t even around a few months ago. We have fake-BWE bloggers now.  The integrity of the message is up to you. The continued elevation of black women is up to you as well. In fact, more women are getting the message and taking the red pill to get out of the DBR-Matrix!

We’re reclaiming our W.O.M.A.N.  Black woman-specific beauty. Not 1/16th of a snail’s head and donkey’s butt, or 2/34ths of purple, or any of the  extreme stretches of DNA strains some black people are grabbing to differentiate themselves from you know, the “regular”  and “plain” black folks. Er…I should say black WOMEN, since this is the core issue at hand: OUR DEVALUATION.

Don’t fall for the head fake out. They see the momentum and are trying to derail it. Keep your eyes on the prize!

Ashley Judd wrote a memoir where some media outlets decided t focus on her accurate analysis of hip-hop (c)rap music as promoting a rape culture and one that’s highly misogynistic. She left out the part where it was done by black males targeting black women.  It caused a lot of brouhaha as those with an interest in either a) continuing to leech off black women b) who want to keep black women from using their power to their benefit converged to silence her.

Even in cases of white DBR rappers like Eminem – he focused on his ex-wife and messed with a few pop stars — not the entire collective of white women. White men will not allow that! That’s how David Letterman found himself on the wrong side of the 8-ball when he overstepped his criticism of Sarah Palin and dragged her daughters into the mix.

There is no such protection in place for black women when they’re relying on it to come from black men. Which is why the black community is dead. Which is why black women should be seeking their bliss elsewhere. This is why the push by AA black males to join in “Rainbow Coalitions” (so they can have access to non-black women and breed out) is so detrimental to black women. Our Coalition Partners do not want us (er them) anyway)!! They do, however want the resources generated by AA black women. Which brings us back to YOU.

Everyone has benefited from the labor, intellect and resources of the AA woman.

From chattel slavery, to Antebellum South, through Reconstruction, ambling through Jim Crow through Civil Rights and even TODAY. Foreign blacks even got to move here to the US en masse. I want to remind you all again how much we are valued, but we don’t wield our clout effectively. How much we are desired by other men, but we instead focus on the ones who don’t want us.  How we are FREE to do as we wish, but we’re waiting for other people to tell us it’s okay to be healthy, happy and whole.

Don’t hold your breath – you’ll asphyxiate!

The Roots drummer, publicly spoke out against the slagging of an entire “industry”  – even though that’s not what happened. I was waiting for the “white people do bad stuff too” argument. Like when people mention Charlie Sheen to justify Chris Brown. Why, it wouldn’t surprise me if one day R. Kelly made a public statement against Roman Polanski  — something like “at least I didn’t drug my 13 year old”.

I’ve observed this particular fence-sitter who has been curiously silent about the clear examples of when the circumstances have applied. Readers may not be aware that out of his million ++ followers on Twitter he actually deigned to write to me once. This was after he recommended we follow another rapper whose profile photo showed a naked white woman’s buttocks – well naked except for the butt floss thong. It was a large enough t-shirt  — or the guy’s girth was anyway — that you could see it clearly even from a thumbnail photo. Mind you this was 2009 when I still thought I could have logical conversations with black males about their misogyny because I figured a successful intellectual conversation would surely convince someone to change the error of their ways? If they knew how they were hurting black women surely they’d stop, right? Yeah…I was a sucker! That’s when I realized the true nature of a DBR and how it isn’t tied to class, education or temperament.

Long story short, I was repulsed and asked why he’d recommend such a person. The “artiste” in question didn’t understand why I was offended and his friend summed it up rather succinctly,“She doesn’t want to be objectified.” Wow, such clarity was a shock to me. The players may change, but the game remains the same.

From the surge in teen sex trafficking in Oakland and countless other horror stories we can exchange involving black girls or the depraved behavior of DBR black males, it’s a never-ending merry-go-round. I don’t want to focus on this — but a famous member of a rap group could certainly bring to light some of the home-grown atrocities facing women who are likely to be fans of and supporters of their music. Yet, the only thing that got him to lumber out of his cave was to silence a famous white woman who brought some much-needed attention to things we are already aware of at this forum? Hmm….

The fact that Judd immediately backpedaled by speaking with Simmons on his Global Slime Grind site did. not. surprise. me. one. bit. Imagine this scenario as her potential thought-process: Simmons is her “friend”  — as much as more famous/wealthier black males are wont to access lighter, brighter, whiter women — because they can. She’s not getting any younger and should her marriage ever go south she needs to maintain a fallback position. She could gain 100lbs and be toothless and still find a black male who will see her white skin as a premium. Not to mention the fact, there are plenty of dysfunctional-black male identified black women who will side with random black males over anything, cutting their own throats — and yours – in the process! So it was a bit of C.Y.A. I don’t blame her really.

The situation with Carol’s Daughter is a little different (but not really). The line of hair care products was started by an AA woman for black women. The company’s latest campaign is featuring women – some of whom I thought were black  yet are apparently racial ninjas or genetic hybrids and have been approximating themselves as black women (AA) right under our noses! Replicants must be terminated….

By the way, I have Cherokee heritage on both sides of my family – my maternal and paternal great-grandmothers were. Unlike some African-Americans who leap at the chance to be the “other black” I could really care less. Why? I’m not Native American. Not to mention the fact that the Cherokee Nation has forcibly removed AAs from their tribal rolls for the past two decades — but not white Americans. They’re not the only tribe that’s doing this.  Update:  Reader GoddessM wrote about the Freedman disbarment.

I know a young woman who is Seminole and AA and she’s complained bitterly about the foul treatment she gets when applying for any benefits. They don’t want her getting anything! Her mother is “100%” Native American so she is legally entitled to receive whatever scholarships and assistance available. Black people had better wake up and get real. Their desire for splintering and being the “other black” puts them in a no-man’s land of ever-dwindling resources.

Besides, what’s wrong with being “just”  black? We already know most of us are not 100% as our ancestors intermingled with whites [by the way neither are they]. Those who are more recently biracial [with a parent of differing races, possibly a grandparent] are not special.  It’s some blacks who’ve placed a premium on that construct as they adopted the racist thinking of whites — who were protecting their land and resources from all the children white males had produced with black women during slavery.

Why is the expression of racial and ethnic pride such an albatross — for some black(ish) people? When I wrote about Paula Patton discussing why she rejected the “light-skin privilege” blacks wanted to bestow on her and how she refers to herself as black – not “biracial” one of my readers expressed her displeasure.  As I stated in that post, anyone who can use certain privileges that were given to them at our expense (but doesn’t) should be considered an ally. She didn’t like the idea of Patton being labeled “just” black as she put it. This reader is an AA woman married to a white man. I asked her if she was going to apply her stringent categorization to her children. I don’t think she had considered that aspect because she suddenly declared she wasn’t certain she’d have biological children. This is something AA women in particular DO need to think about. The random checking off of any categorization on the Census has repercussions beyond that moment. The allowance of anyone to call themselves black is something else we have to think about it. Likewise, rejecting people who could chose to “other” themselves but don’t should not be discouraged.

We’ve got enough “regular” black folks who want to be anything and everything but black. Here’s another scenario that has caused me stomach flips. One esteemed BWE blogger who has been using the term PAB [Passing As Black]. While I think everything that needed to be said was covered at Sojourner’s Passport I have something else to add.

When I see PAB I don’t read it as  —

Passing As Black as intended by Evia. I see —

Passing As Black

Imagine a white person saying because they want to reject the racial prejudice and other distasteful behavior of their family (or the white collective) they are now Passing As White — but they’re doing it to distinguish themselves from any random white person we might see while retaining their ethnic pride. It sounds a bit ridiculous doesn’t it? Since this is something that is self-defined and part of an identity or outlook to be determined by individual black/black(ish) women you can already see the problems that will emerge from the bastardization of a highly flawed, albeit somewhat sophisticated concept. The same way the use of the term “Alpha” male has been misused and misunderstood and a host of other core concepts, meant to be suggested as alternatives to the damaged thinking from dysfunctional blacks that’s been particularly reinforced and forced onto AA and other black women.

This is how stepping stones become stumbling blocks.

I also do not subscribe to the thought that AA heritage is solely or mostly one of pain [porn] and do not wallow in it. Just because some black people want to “other” themselves, some black people hate being black, some black people eat and promote dysfunction 24/7  doesn’t mean YOU [or I] have to.That’s why I advocate you separate yourselves from toxic residential areas and people. It was always about the mentality..not blackness.

I write the African-American Women Legacy Series Spotlight for this very reason. We have MUCH to be proud of. There have always been knuckle-heads and they’re not likely to go away. We already know the collective has been dragged into the gutter. How much more important it is that we promote our historic contributions. I have to say I am surprised that those women who’ve long escaped or were never-ensnared by the denigration traps that take out so many of us would be that bothered by the behavior of others that such measures are really necessary.

We can still pursue our hopes and dreams with our heritage and sanity intact.  Don’t support those who reject and denigrate you. Later for the haters!

The whole point is FREEDOM OF CHOICE DEPLOYED WITH WISDOM. Are you exercising yours and thinking in terms of building generational dominance for your family and positioning yourself to build one if not? We are so on the verge of a major breakthrough that will be a tide that lifts many black women out of cesspools. Let’s keep moving forward.

38 Replies to “abundance is where women who don’t want to wallow in powerlessness go to create a better life”

  1. Are you exercising yours and thinking in terms of building generational dominance for your family and positioning yourself to build one if not?
    Yes. I am still preparing myself/studying to take a test that will ultimately get me into college for the first time in my life.With more education comes more opportunity.

    On Evia's PAB: I totally get what Evia means by PAB.IMHO she's laid it out there and made it all very clear.I never take her as a self hater.EVER.But I really do feel that outsiders come reading a blog for the first time can be confused by what she is saying.Plus people have the tendency to project their issues onto others so all of a sudden something that was meant for good can turn around and bite a person in
    the butt.

    Questlove: typical DBR.I remember when he taunted poor Mashonda via twitter.They are all in it together. This includes Phonte,Talib Kweli Mos Def,Common,Blu,etc.Wolves in sheeps clothing.Don't get it twisted! Sooner or later the DBRness always shows, it's only a matter of time.

    Black women really do need to start being the blessing in their own lives.We need to use like 100% of all of our personal resources and energies to build ourselves up.I will continue in my efforts to uplift myself and other black women and girls in the ways that I can.
    I have been going back and forth on what my next post will be.I'm not certain right now because there is so much I want to write about, but I am working on it.

    Thank you Faith,Evia,Khadija Nassif,Blackseagoat,Gina McCauley and many others for inspiring me to aim higher and to write my own blog.

    1. AH I hadn't realized Questlove had been ridiculing Mashonda, though she didn't help her cause with the public displays of "I wuz robbed". See, BW have still not accepted the reality: nobody cares about their pain, discomfort or tragedies. The same with Mary Harvey. If you make any mistakes or have anything unpleasant happy to you there is no "community", no sympathizers, no one looking out to protect your "black womanhood" as a collective. Look what those various idiots said about Kelis. And yes, the original idiot I had tried to have a convo with (major eye rolling here) was Phonte. SO glad that happened BEFORE I'd actually bought anything.

  2. Hey Faith and readers. It was me who wrote about my discomfort w Patton and others. Anyone who knows me knows that I have been on the fence about bio children for a long time and of COURSE I have pondered the issue of children and racial identity. At 28, I could have babies galore by this time, if I wanted to. It's certainly not something I declared simply in response to our discussion. Here's my question, and the issue that drives my discomfort, for you seem to think it's just about my wanting to claim just special race privilege status for my own kids. I don't think we are on opposite sides of the fence with this. If Cassie, Solange and Ms. Ebanks all declared themselves simply black, would the Carol's Daughter ad be ok then, even though it still clearly only displays one type of black womanhood?

    1. E in CT: Hello and thanks for delurking. You didn't have to reveal yourself. I'd also like to emphasize that we do not know each other despite having conversations online from time to time. Inevitably whatever any woman who marries and is able to have children will do what works best for her. We do not need to agree on any aspect of this conversation. I am not the "black" police when it comes to heritage and identity but for BW to be free it is certainly something they have to navigate: values, lifestyle, legacy, ethnic pride and sense of self. I also am not speaking about any other group of BW other than African-Americans because of the numerous indoctrination, devaluation and other obstacles that serve as landmines or traps for many. If you recall I also offered you the opportunity to write a guest post several months ago because you and some other women are much more immediately impacted by some of these considerations than I as an unmarried child-free woman. Yet, as such I have given these issues a lot of intensive consideration so I ensure that I've steered myself into the position that will work best to my benefit — which isn't one size fits all. I am not telling any other woman what to do, but as a blog forum host I am sharing my thoughts on a variety of nuanced topics. They deserve the refined scrutiny whether we all choose to agree with each other or not. As far as the genetic hybrid promoters go, I've already stated AA blacks needed to have set better boundaries about defining their individual ethnic heritage a long time ago!! Black males who want(ed) to breed out have had the only say in establishing that which is yet another reason why things are so messed up now. It was no coincidence that the lead investor of Carol's Daughter, Steve Stoute was the "brainchild" behind this madness, but ultimately it was Lisa Price's call. She has denigrated us "regular" black women and AA women in particular as the bulk of her customers (regardless of what percentage our genetic makeup consists of) who culturally define themselves as black [which is what I was referencing to with Paula Patton -- not DNA strains] for this "we are everything and the kitchen sink and oh yeah black too" BS!!! Mixed chicks already has a line of hair care products. I'd never purchase them because they've already signified who their target audience is — not me. If a white company did this my response would be the same. It's still slagging black women regardless…but only other black people seem to gravitate towards (leap for this) type of attack. And it is an attack.

  3. Great post in summarizing the situation with Ashley Judd, et al. The strategies and manipulations are fascinating. You zeroed in on how someone like her would want to continue retaining her specific type of advantage: pale skin. I saw her one quote about rap(e) music, but it never led me to see her as any kind of ally, even before the backtracking.

    Some black women can get too excited when certain people, who really don't care and never cared before, accidentally include us in their self-promoting agenda. In the end, it looks like we're chasing them to remember we exist. We don't have time for that, and it is not necessary.

    We have power. Yet we give it up too easily for something less.

    1. I think Ashley Judd mentioning at all was beneficial because it raised awareness that white people do pay attention to the foul behavior. I certainly wasn't at the ready to "embrace" her as a "sister in the freedom struggle" as I've already made it clear about what I think about feminism and white women's elevation. It's every woman for herself!! We don't need to be advisaries of course but I certainly would not abdicate my own self-actualization to another woman of any race/ethnicity. If we're waiting for the rescue squad we'll be dead. We do give up our power too easily. Hopefully, the younger women see that and will make better choices.

  4. In reference to the two bg fighting in Burger King…SHAMEFUL BEHAVIOR.

    That type of behavior makes us all look bad. The young bm stood by, the manager could have done more, he could have put the victim in his office or restroom and guarded the door until the police arrived. He and his staff should be fired for being dumb. Yes, I realize that BK staff is probably used to that type of behavior.
    A couple of deejays was on the radio this morning continuously talking about those particular bg and they were not complimentary. This is so bad because all or most bw will be painted with the same brush. LOL, this is why some of us want to be a PAB…just saying. It is embrassing.

    1. I approved your comment a121 but what the heck are you talking about? Let's stay on point with the specific conversation we're having directly related to the post.

  5. Excellent post as always!

    I don't really know what to think of the 'PAB' thing. Every woman chooses how they will self-identify and hopefully that choice benefits them.

    Are you exercising yours and thinking in terms of building generational dominance for your family and positioning yourself to build one if not? We are so on the verge of a major breakthrough that will be a tide that lifts many black women out of cesspools. Let’s keep moving forward.

    Questions like that are always in the back of my mind. They help me stay focused and make the right choices right now that will yield great rewards in the future.

    As for the major breakthrough, after saw the link to the trailer of The Help on the For Black Women-What not to buy FB, I definitely believe that the BWE has been getting out! I laugh at and pity the people who make these obvious attempts to other us by putting us in these demeaning roles. If they weren't threatened, they wouldn't have to work so hard to not hire any of the attractive bw actresses. If they weren't threatened, they wouldn't constantly put them in these mammy roles. But, I don't want the Gabrielle Unions or Nia Longs to keep complaining about the lack of roles avaliable to them. Long ago they should have collaborated with other black actresses to create their own institutions just as (DBR) Tyler Perry has done.

    Anyways, I look forward to your Blogging 101 post. Any tips are welcome 🙂

    1. Thank you BWLivingWell: I hope the readers (who aren't all BW by the way) take note that yes we do notice what's going on. They are feverishly working themselves to the bone to step on and over us, but as far as I'm concerned: they shall NOT pass!!! So…I'm just going to keep stating the obvious and calling out suspicious behavior. If they didn't care about us they'd completely IGNORE us. It looks like I'm going to bump a few things and post this Blogging 101 on Monday. You're already doing just fine by the way.

    2. Aww man! I'm so sad because I like SEEING Viola Davis on the big screen.It's unfortunate that I won't be able to support the movie.But Viola does deserve better.Gabrielle Union is in the DBR black male identified category to me, sorry.I truly believe that even if she did come up with her own production company black women still wouldn't be much better off.

      1. There's enough money amongst the Hollywood set (and lower cost technology) to not allow for any excuses regarding people not creating their won projects. They're still relying on old models and handouts. "Why won't the white people let us do x, y,z ". Gosh..it's 2011!!!

  6. I love the title. 😉

    I can't be around negativity and self-loathing. This whole situation is basically Slavery 2.0. No matter how much I LOATHE the deplorable things some African Americans do, I have never once thought to renounce who I am because fortunately I know of a history that shows African Americans as people who wanted to be better and had some common sense. It's just a shame that most of us don't truly focus ourselves on the positive instead on wallowing in the negative.

    1. I think I was having an Ntozake or Maya moment hehe. I can\’t and won\’t speak for others or try to figure out their thought processes. I just want to state for the record that I\’m encouraging ALL black women to make long-lasting life-affirming choices that will extend past the current generation or one generation forward. We\’re not responsible for saving the community but we don\’t need to shoot ourselves in the foot either.

  7. Part 4

    Such as what happened on “The View” When Sherri and Whoppi ( on 4/14/2011 episode) were talking about air traffic controllers watching movies and falling asleep-they decided to take their anger-energy out on bw (because they couldn’t talk about other men or women) by saying things like ‘I can have a Tamika up there’ I can have a Mary Lou Elis, I can’t have a Shaquanda (or other bw type names that they were coming up with) Of course the audience laughed a great big belly laugh. Mind you Shaquanda didn’t name herself –no one does. These women (who were not air traffic controllers) have just as much possibility and capability to do what another person can do. But that SLAM on them WILL make it so people are justified in limiting them and oppressing their efforts. This was a very vicious racial-misogynistic attack on AAwomen. Can you imagine them being able to say this about ww or a bm-NO! These ww just looooved to hear this being said. They know it’s one more door open for them, and several less for us.

  8. Hi Faith, Really enjoyed your post. I'm glad to know that with the Sojourner's Passport ending (sniff) you're another voice in support of both BWE AND AA ethnic pride. I have plans to start up a blog, but I'm not sure about the timeline. Thanks for your example.

    1. Hey Sharifa: Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate insightful reader feedback. If you need any help with blogging set-up send me an email. I'm putting together a post on blogging 101 that I think many will find useful.

      1. I'm putting together a post on blogging 101 that I think many will find useful.
        Looking forward to this if you get around to it.I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been busy lately.
        I've been looking at other blogs and there set ups and trying to learn a few things from them.And I have.I just think starting new things can be challenging,frustrating,and very scary for me, but I'll get over it

  9. Part 5
    Let me just elaborate on “Shaquanda” (incase some of you want to pounce) imagine a young black woman living where DBR’s lurk, jumping all the hurtles as a young girl, moving on in education and then looking to take her first job when the door SLAMS because of the false label given to “Shaquanda”.

  10. part 4
    Such as what happened on “The View” When Sherri and Whoppi ( on 4/14/2011 episode) were talking about air traffic controllers watching movies and falling asleep-they decided to take their anger-energy out on bw (because they couldn’t talk about other men or women) by saying things like ‘I can have a Tamika up there’ I can have a Mary Lou Elis, I can’t have a Shaquanda (or other bw type names that they were coming up with) Of course the audience laughed a great big belly laugh. Mind you Shaquanda didn’t name herself –no one does. These women (who were not air traffic controllers) have just as much possibility and capability to do what another person can do. But that SLAM on them WILL make it so people are justified in limiting them and oppressing their efforts. This was a very vicious racial-misogynistic attack on AAwomen. Can you imagine them being able to say this about ww or a bm-NO! These ww just looooved to hear this being said. They know it’s one more door open for them, and several less for us.

    1. This is why I don't even watch The View. Some people are hired with an agenda in mind at reinforcing the worst. I've said it before how one of those comics (3 guesses) is as dumb as a rock. Willfully and ethically with full intent. This is why WE MUST CONTROL OUR OWN MEDIA. So..at the end of the day, we can complain but when will someone step up to the plate and create an alternative? Will other black women support this endeavor? This is why things are in their current state. So I don't expect anything from a show like The View that will support and promote BWE. It doesn't really benefit them and as long as other BW keep watching and don't say anything, they're giving their tacit approval for the nonsense.

  11. Part 3
    The problem with “passing as black” is that is doesn’t just exist in a vacuum. You can define yourself as PAB, but then you also have to define “black” (this is where the door gets slammed). When you start saying that black is all the negative and new mess (not going to put the energy into what all…that mess is), and when people start saying things like “n%ggervile”-(let me just tell you Some of you know grow up around and studied black people, well I know, grew-up around and studied white people. I can say they do NOT make distinctions (at first glance) about a person’s character when assigning the n-word. They look at skin shade and facial features. I see some black people talk and act totally different around white people, and I just think ‘wow-you have no idea who this person is’ They got every issue and MORE they just have good recovery efforts) It gives Prejudice whites all the more fuel to just barrage bw. OR even other black women to barrage black women so that ww can have a good laugh and they can be paid.

    1. I don't want to be so focused on others, except as an evaluation process. We have plenty of opportunities available to us that most are not even using. Not even 10%! I will say this though: it is quite easy to recognize a well-mannered child for example and no one needs to make a special announcement about it. The poor public persona and continued bad PR some black women engage in does have a negative impact on the collective BUT there's only so much one can do about that. They're reacting to the dead black community and are tired from carrying the burdens. That's why these conversation are so important. It won't turn back the clock or fix everything but we can snag a few younger women and girls who will create better futures for themselves. These forums are that legacy.

  12. Part 2
    “Replicants must be terminated….”
    [Speaking of bw who don’t want to ethnically be perceived as black]They weaken the fabric. There is nothing worse then someone on the inside complaining and not wanting to be there. That sends a very clear signal to others. We do best to distance ourselves from them as much as possible. Perhaps then they are seen as just white women trying to pass as and get as close to (the authentic)black woman…

    Now regarding the PAS idea as Evia blogs about. I get it. I get wanting to say I’m not that(previously what has been understood about black women) I’m this (look-up and notice ME). However what I don’t like about it is that is seems to slam the door in the faces of other AAwomen. I’m not saying that you should hold the door open for them, but give them time to grab it for themselves so it doesn’t slam on them and possibly maim a limb.

    1. Self-care is the #1 Rule….but I do agree we can still move forward or maintain our already well-feathered nests without inadvertently or intentionally placing obstacles in the path for other women seeking to step up.

  13. Part 1

    Brovo Faith!
    You said
    “Everyone has benefited from the labor, intellect and resources of the AA woman.”

    As soon as AA women start to realize and understand we are not the zygote of black men and white women-We will stop helping to advance their (bm and ww) causes thinking that we are covering ourselves as well(We are not!) The only way to cover ourselves is to purposefully apply effective fervent energy towards our own causes as black women. Once we roll back all the energy, time, money, intellect and resources of various sorts that we have poured into these other non-bw causes and begin to apply them for ourselves-We are going to see some MAJOR shifts being made, like we already are. Money isn’t the only object-it’s the value that is placed on people, the purpose and the role that they are made to play. Weather you are a billion dollar paid mammy or making nothing at all( anything in-between) the point is STOP BEING A MAMMY.

    1. Squarlymade: Hello and thanks for the lengthy responses. I just want to make sure we've covered the nuances of the conversation at hand. I don't want to focus on other blogger's agendas as we've had an intensive cost-analysis discussion already. At the end of the day every woman is going to do whatever she wants, despite what might be said on public forums. The sum of the work does matter in evaluating continued benefit and I hope the readers and blog hosts alike continually vet each other. We must think more critically! AA women should be in a much better position as a collective and until more women expect that, demand that and go for that the majority will be mired in dysfunction, despair and a diminished life. It's high time we move past that.

  14. Great blogging.

    I remember Oprah commenting one day about her being a FREE WOMAN. YES, WE ARE. It is OK to make choices that benefit YOU and your child(ren), ignore any guilt feelings.

    1. Thanks Ann for the generous response. I think if Oprah was really free she\’d address her sexual abuse and go to therapy instead of equating dysfunction pain porn] with blackness. Her support of Tyler Perry (ostensibly because he went through something similar) cannot be ignored. He has done great harm to the image of black women and has yet to be held accountable for it. Previous abuse is no excuse.[

  15. Great post and I think this is a great start to a conversation that needs to be had within the BWE community. If you want to have bio kids with your NB beau how do you teach race to your children, daughters especially? Is what they consider themselves a choice?

    Btw. Glad you mentioned the Cherokee Freedman controversy, I wrote an article for it on a another site. The worst part of it is how much it is ignored by the mainstream media.

    1. Hey GoddessM — send a link and I'll add it here in the comments or as an addendum to this post if you like.

        1. Wow — so you have direct experience with this! I forsee the same thing happening amongst Latinos once they've completed their power grab and start kicking out the "brown" and "indigenous" members who of course now sneer at the mere idea of being considered "black".

          1. Of that I have no doubt. They are already practically unseen on the Spanish language channels. And I can tell you that the direct experience is highly grating to the psyche.

          2. You're right. I hadn't even connected the Telemundo-style practice of exclusion that is already happening. It's like Bollywood up in there! They have the whitest Indians I've ever seen (biracial, etc) with blue eyes as their representative when most of the population looks nothing like that. Then some of them emigrate here and want to treat blacks like crap. SMH!!!

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