Favorite Blogs #7: Black Women Using Their Style, Charm & Resources For A Fashionable Life

We’re coming off a holiday weekend so I thought I’d share a fun post today. ENJOY!


We’re going to put whatever previous, current or future nonsense that is sure to erupt across the Interwebs as those demonic idiots who try to malign, defame and belittle the intellect, dynamics, poise and oh yes – BEAUTY – of black women gets dismissed and defunded. If all of you CHOOSE to hold every aggressor equally responsible and enact standards any such attempts would cease to be considered. Please think about the $1.2 TRILLION that black women in the US control. Accountability as a surgical strike would be a thing of wonder!

I was planning on including a list of black women locally/globally who are utilizing their Charm Offensive. The time seems even more appropriate. The best “defense” for black women is our continued elevation across all social strata. LIVING WITH DIGNITY, THRIVING and THINKING INTERNATIONALLY is key. That includes getting ALL of our needs met: financially, romantically, family-oriented, friendships, career and self-care.  Onto the post after the jump!

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Why Is Thinking About Your Needs First Still So Difficult For Black Women?

Perhaps, I should ask why putting yourself FIRST is such an anomaly for some black women who are reading BWE-related blogs? Do those readers ever notice they have failed to apply the basic principles in utilizing their free agency by not being concerned about what other people (be it black males or white women) are doing unless it is negatively impacting their lives?

You’d think women would be far too busy applying their Charm Offensive, Evaluating Men For Alliances and Marriage and continuing their education in the school of life by thinking and acting GLOBALLY. Instead, I keep seeing the same exact conversations resulting from the various straw-man arguments put forth by many women.  It begs the question what some of ya’ll are doing?

You don’t have any time to waste!

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Inspirational Quotes: Della Reese

“….Stumbling blocks become stepping stones that elevate you….”

Rev. Dr. Della Reese-Lett

Since, I’ve unplugged the television – except for one or two shows and other non-productive media –  I have been listening to podcasts and watching videos from people who have shaped lives and lifestyles I admire and aspire to.  The one thing that stands out for me is how they adopt a specific mentality that they use to move fluidly through life.

These people aren’t experiencing a utopia alternate universe or being carried on angel’s wings, but they have great expectations and act accordingly. Ever since I discovered the Hello, Rev. Della Speaking podcasts on Unity FM I have made them a weekly ritual. Often, I listen to a single podcast several times. One to take notes, one to listen to while I sleep, one to reinforce the teaching, one to test how I’ve incorporated it and one to enjoy it again after some time has passed.

Rev. Della has discussed how “God is living intelligence” and how “Faith is an active power with an unlimited supply” and why we should “Stop stockpiling mistakes”. She urges us to not bury our talents and to not be concerned about other people’s judgment. She encourages us to be meek (able to learn) but NOT weak! I LOVE IT!!!!

I am so grateful for the wisdom she shares without ever coming across as preachy.  She espouses creating a spiritual practice not blindly following a man-made religious doctrine. I feel as if the encouragement she offers along with its practical application has and will continue to have a profound impact on my life. Yes, I do feel as if she’s speaking to me personally. It’s grandma’s kitchen wisdom dispensed with love.  It all starts in our heads: what we think and why.

This is also a powerful example of how we can take control of our lives to elevate ourselves. Which is the purpose of this forum. I hope you find this as yet another useful tool at your disposal for your 360 Degree Life. I urge you to listen and become all that you already are.

I leave you in light and beauty with a musical treasure by Emiliana Torrini titled Birds.

My “The Good Wife” Season 2 Recap: Break-Downs, Break-Ups & Betrayals With A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

If you need to catch up you may read my overview of the CBS drama “The Good Wife” from last fall. If you follow the blog regularly you know I LOVE THIS SHOW!  I have seen many universal truths reinforced from watching this show and find it an invaluable resource to model real life. If you haven’t watched it go to Netflix and get Season One. A little birdie has told me Season Two is available as a bit torrent for the episodes that aren’t currently posted on the official network website.

Is Alicia now the “Good Wife” gone rogue? Something that has come up for conversation amongst viewers of the show is whether Alicia is “innocent” or really a “victim” because of her feelings for Will. Are you kidding me? Her feelings alone are not the determining factor whether she’s “deserving” of our sympathies as the wronged woman. Her actions, however can be evaluated. So let’s do that.

Watch the clip of their hotel adventure the last few minutes of the season finale and tell me you aren’t rooting for them! I dare you.

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Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #8: The Curious Case Of A Real-Life “Good Wife” Maria Shriver

Ah…so many lessons can be learned by studying the choices of others – particularly women of privilege who are purported to “have it all”.

A story loosely based on the Schwarzenegger marriage may likely be a Lifetime Movie Of The Week that will air this Fall. I’d bet money on it! Hey ya’ll, just a few thoughts are going to be dispensed rapid-fire style so saddle up! The public revelation of the long-term infidelity and betrayal of Arnold Schwarzenegger that has finally culminated in the break-up of his marriage to Maria Shriver should not have come as a surprise to anyone paying attention. If you lived in California during the time of his and the Republican’s “Total Recall” election sham that ousted Governor Gray Davis you would have noted the allegations of his long-history of cheating and sexual aggression enacted against other women.

I applaud those who managed to keep this bombshell a secret FOR TEN YEARS though {HOW!!!} – he never would’ve been elected had the public gotten wind of it!! I know Newt Gingrich is planning a run for the White House and I laugh! If some people want to vote for a serial cheater who has been married multiple times and abandoned his former wives when ill – while espousing family values, I’ll call a FOOL a FOOL. From a political standpoint the Ah-nuld debacle is even more frightening than most have still processed because some of those political yahoos were talking about amending the Constitution to allow a foreign-origin President – him! Those are some powerful allies at work who wanted to deploy a Trojan Horse scenario. Look at the condition of California post- Ah-nuld. Not all of it has to do with the economy, but of course many aspects that have damaged this country are a direct result of policies enacted by (and in collusion with Democrats) Republicans.


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How Serious Are You About Uplifting Black Women?

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post to take a moment to ask a serious question:

Are you really in support of black women?

ALL black women – including acknowledging the contributions of African-American women that pretty much everyone else benefits from and appropriates the Civil Rights model those women perfected for your group’s personal use?

Some may have wondered why I chose to post “lighter” fare the past few weeks. Well…of course if you are a discerning reader you already know subtle doesn’t equal lack of depth and adapting new mentalities can be employed in a variety of ways. Besides, I’m getting rather fed up at the poseurs and voyeurs who are mere passengers seeking an amusement ride.

Let me speak plainly now:

All the faux (or real) outrage in the world will disappear into the ether without a well-supported infrastructure.

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International Sisters of Soul, Jazz, Pop and R&B Spotlight: Kornelia Mango

This is a guest post by Lorraine Spencer. Many of you who read the BW-IRR forums know Lorraine for providing a lot of back end research to forum hosts. She is a great resource for many women who seek to elevate themselves. The married, mother of two arranged the Aftenposten interview some of us participated in as a matter of fact.

Though she must parse her time in other endeavors instead of blogging full-time, she is a supporter of black women leading successful lives. To that end, we had a conversation last year about women singers in Europe and Asia who are of African-descent. Some time later, she sent me 10 volumes! While for the purposes of this audience I normally don’t find it beneficial to AA women to promote the daughters of Helga, Junko, Marta, etc I did think highlighting one of the entertainers was suitable.

We need to continue thinking globally, vetting allies and separating ourselves from opportunists. We also need to see the world. No one else can successfully explain the intangible insights gained from world travel done smartly. We should also walk through this life holding our heads up high! I’ve previously discussed our specific heritage and support (or lack of) our historical contributions and music trends in the series Deploying A Little Negro Spirit, which I encourage you to review.

Here’s Lorrraine’s essay on Kornelia Mango after the jump:

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Favorite Blogs #6: Couples Who…

“Don’t prioritize the mundane.” — Joe Konrath

Where has this plethora of  blogs hosted by married couples come from? They might be working, traveling or canoodling together but the key point is “they’re doing it together”. How cute! You can think of it as something to aspire to or insert a major eye roll depending on your outlook for such things. Personally, I’m reading the examples of well-matched people who share similar values. That is aspirational – and inspirational.

In no particular order….

Mr and Mrs Globetrot

Just about the cutest newlyweds evah — who happen to be wedding photographers to boot! They took off on a six-month ’round the world trip for their honeymoon. On a serious note, I was moved by the great interview conducted with one set of their parents who discussed fleeing the Ukraine due to religious persecution for being Christians. Hmm..I wonder what lessons we can glean from that? I can now thank them for making me want to travel to Cappadocia.

Speaking of…

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Surrounding Yourself With Light & Beauty#2: Saratoga Revisted

When most people think of California Wine Country, Napa and Sonoma Valleys immediately come to mind. There are however, about a dozen other regions to choose from. They’re not as vast as the regions in Europe, but they do offer distinct varietals in the grapes harvested and the type of wine offered. I’ve always been partial to the Russian River Valley for their oak-barrel, heavier whites (think anti-Chardonnay) and usually make a beeline for the Domaine Carneros for its magnificent French castle and sparkling wine, albeit large production facility.

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Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series #7: Before They Are “Men” – Advice About Teens & College-Age Males

Audience Note:  I’ve changed the name of the series after realizing I’d inadvertently used the same title first employed by another BWE blogger. Since this originally expanded from analyzing why some women were misunderstanding and misusing terms and strategies for dating alpha males it’s important to me to make that distinction. My bad! I don’t think anyone has noticed, but we do put so much thought into our conversations (and may share some of the same readers) I want to respect the work that goes into it. To meet the needs of ALL women I want us to continue exploring the ways we seek and build relationships with men socially and professionally as well as romantically


First of all, it would be better for you as a young girl and woman developing mentally, physically and emotionally to HOLD OFF on any sexual activity…but I realize that may be too late for many of you. Nor is that a  necessarily popular stance to propose because we’re all so modern, advanced and “free”. Freedom costs…a lot by the way.

This is not about judgment or restricting a girl’s right to exploration, but an analysis of benefits/disadvantages that every young woman ought to consider should things not go the way she hopes.  Or before she’s had to chance to figure out what she really wants. Of course it’s best if no one knows your level of “experience” regardless — not even your girlfriends because people are not always discreet. The series also tends to focus more on your “average” girl or guy from Western society with added emphasis in how black girls/women can utilize situations to their advantage.

So far, my Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series has been about grown folks over the age of say 21 who may have already had certain experiences. This is about checking yourself while on the path to love (not to get derailed into baby momma-ville and settling for moldy crumbs), normal human bonding and a course redirection/correction  when necessary. It is to help you refine or reclaim goals. It’s never too late to make positive changes in your life.

What about those younger girls who haven’t even been kissed yet? Who’ve been told it’s normal to offer oral sex to a boy  they like? Who are having pictures taken and passed around without their knowledge or consent that may be embarrassing or compromising? I know I have some young readers (or those who are in support of them) so I want to address you and your needs specifically.

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