Will The Real Black Man Please Stand Up?

I’m adding Halima’s latest post http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2011/02/no-dog-in-this-black-community-fight.html and

the first entry of a new series at Khadija’s http://sojournerspassport.com/as-a-quality-lady-would-think-part-1-a-lady-does-not-try-to-grab-something-in-exchange-for-nothing/

Along with Evia’s latest http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/2011/02/moving-on-february-is-moving-on-month.html

….to this conversation. It’s our propensity for excuse-making and setting no standards for collective behavior or in our (mis)leadership OR relationships so it’s no wonder black women have been brainwashed in an attempt to tape together the rent fabric of the dead black community.

I wrote this post for those black women like Ms. Jina, AGW and others who are still clinging to the old model. For I and a few others who have refused the blue pill and woken up outside the Matrix are but a pebble skipping on the surface of a lake. The ripple effect lasts but mere seconds.  I may be underestimating that so I’ll add that the impact might also be the equivalent of hurling a big rock into the lake that causes a splash.

Either way the point is we are but a blip on your highway so stop focusing on what we’re saying and doing since you have declared we are wrong. Some of you just won’t let it go. You are angry at black men for their failings. You truly want to blame others because you know as a collective they will not take responsibility. Why they often cite you as one of the main causes for their lack of achievement.

I thought I’d give you a blast from the past with this 2006 WaPo article, Singled Out. I wonder what happened to our cast of characters? A BW (non-AA) writer had the nerve to try to piss all over a future article I agreed to participate in for a foreign newspaper that will show BW in a positive light. More on that to follow in a few weeks. Here’s a real dose of black woman desperation that she seemed to be so concerned about (because the article is about interracial dating and connecting AA women with Euro men) —

For Robyn and black women like her — who see their fates intimately bound to black men {STUPIDLY AND BY CHOICE} — life means strategizing and dreaming beyond the numbers in a world where it seems the ground has shifted under their feet.

Robyn hasn’t joined the ranks of black women who are beginning to talk about exploring their options elsewhere.

“I can’t just brush off brothers and say we are in a crisis,” she says. “I’m still a believer.” (And you will perish by choosing to be alone or making a bad selection of mate that will diminish your quality of life)

— one of her “friends” who may refer to himself as a “good” black man

When she met Harry Hughes, he was pining for the woman he said he wanted to marry but had blown the relationship. Now he’s enjoying his single life. And she shakes her head at the doting father of a 6-year-old daughter who this summer said he was dating seven women. (i.e partaking in all the free sex and gifts he could get – you know he wasn’t paying for [all] dates!)

Now, as winter approaches, he has narrowed it to one, dropping the others for various reasons: one, for example, lived too far away; another, he said, was pretty but “dumb as bricks.”

He says, “I understand it’s a jacked-up ratio in this area. I don’t think I’m a player. I just think I am a single man.”  (And who IS this lucky woman OUT OF SEVEN?)

— further into this trash da po’ downtrodden black male complains about having to make more money to match black women (presumably so he can dominate the relationship and be “in control” I’m guessing):

Black men, he said, have to be passive just to get into the professional world, and black women are just the opposite. “The women are so aggressive,” he said. “African American females are so empowered that I think it does carry into relationships. The way I grew up, it was relatively equal, [but] my mom let my dad be a man.”  (We’re overbearing and all-powerful which hurts his little ego)

“The women make more money. Their positions are higher. . . . It really shouldn’t be like that.”

That’s a fine example of Black Love, hmmm?

Continue reading “Will The Real Black Man Please Stand Up?”

My Favorite Blog of 2011 #3: What Women Never Hear

So will this be 0 for 3? Apparently some find Everett Bogue  a bit too pretentious for their tastes. I agree that he’s in his own world where being a white male 20-something from a 2-parent home and middle class living may be blasé. If we are the sum of our experiences I’d also offer that such mundane (read that as dysfunction-lite) living is fast becoming a privilege for a few “lucky” people. Taking that into consideration I can understand why someone who’s had their basic needs met would find being a cog on a wheel unacceptable in the Age Of Turmoil  and having a safety net/support system in place would be more likely to take a risk to than someone who was starting life at -20.

I think anyone that can build an online forum in a year that fulfills them personally and financially supports them wholly is brilliant. Whatever they’ve tapped into has obviously resonated with enough people who were willing to “put up or shut up” is commendable. I still don’t quite get it either, but I offer my grudging admiration for someone thinking outside the box and having it all pan out.

Continue reading “My Favorite Blog of 2011 #3: What Women Never Hear”