How Black Women Have Been Hoodwinked Into Thinking Being “Thick” Is To Our Benefit

For many black women navigating exclusive dating waters within the black community or “black thinking” with its singular focus on or influence by lesser-quality black males we’ve mistakenly thought carrying a few extra pounds would make us more appealing to them.

Wrong!

Read more after the jump…..

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DBR Alert: Every Black Male Is “Guilty” Before Being Proven Innocent

I have to continue the conversations surrounding black women and our thought processes and how they manifest. First, I thought we’d already covered across several blogs that while ALL black males are not DBRs (damaged beyond repair) most display a certain percentage of tendencies that will send them closer to one end of the spectrum than the other. In fact, as I’m going through my blog archives I have. There has always been a subset of “professional” black males who have tried to distinguish themselves as “loving black women” or being anti-hood and safe. Often it’s because their livelihood is directly impacted by the promotion support and of black women. They know this and do not want to do anything to damage it.

Also, because I utilize social networking platforms in addition to my blogging duties I’m usually having various conversations on the side. So maybe it’s just me but I thought we’d already declared they have to prove themselves first and were not to be afforded any automatic assumptions or benefit of the doubt. Again, that could be just me.

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BWE Messaging Doesn’t Make A BWE Messenger

Hear me out audience (I wrote this post a few days ago but am posting it today). As the original blogs that addressed the ways black women have been mistreated by black males and interpersonal relationships gained traction the initial pushback served to generate more interest. So like feminism there’s been a 2nd wave, 3rd wave and so on of newer bloggers adding facets to the conversation and expanding this social movement.

I am happy to participate in the BWE initiative. No, we don’t all think alike or have the same agendas. Some are also mostly focused on interracial dating and marriage because it’s the inevitable logical conclusion for those women to choose men globally, irrespective of race. Other bloggers include various aspects by matter of importance to their forum.

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How Old Is Too “Old” In Choosing a Partner When There’s An Age Gap?

Furthermore, where does gender play into those choices in heterosexual relationships and is there a double-standard for women? We know that women are being bombarded by conflicting messages of how we’re single hear us roar, that we can have sex like men or to not be burdened by being forced on a pedestal.  Someone even once suggested that men and women were like fish and bicycles. The downside of this freedom is women getting caught without a rain jacket in a downpour: being saddled with the burden of child-rearing solo, or coerced into sex earlier than many want, hurt feelings, exposure to infections, street harassment and other violence and an increasing dis-ease with our bodies and being more wary of men than ever before. Freedom always costs and the suggested choices made by some women may not be of any benefit to others.

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Black Women Ask: How “Big” Is Too Big When Dating Interracially?

Courtesy of CW’s Black Women Deserve Better Facebook Group, participant LaToya asked this question a few days ago.
 
I was wondering if any “larger” than thick sisters have more trouble than their skinny counter parts when it comes to dating men of different races? Do you find that when white, asian, indian or hispanic men choose a black mate she’s either skinny or thick? Do the big girls find it harder to date outside of their race? Are they considered less attractive? If so, why?

 Read our conversation and my take on what can be a contentious subject after the jump…..

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