Tyra Show "Hell to Pay" Gay Teen Exorcism Show pt 1

Was a real doosy! Jezebel posted the entire show and labeled these “ministers” bat**** crazy. A husband and wife duo who refer to themselves as the Prophet (her) and the Overseer (him) run a church in Bridgeport, CT may indeed be crazy…like a fox. Now why would any black person with a shred of dignity or knowledge of history refer to themselves with made-up titles such as an overseer? I don’t see a real mental defect. I see utter foolishness! Follow the money trail. To recap, a 16 year old (who admittedly looks more mature) had an exorcism of his “homosexual evil spirit” – only they prefer to call it a casting out. His evil spirit may be gone but he detailed how he noticed his different orientation from the age of five. He may not be acting on his “urges” but he still thinks about it.

These “ministers” of tomfoolery posted the exorcism video on Youtube. The gay teen advocacy group True Colors got the local Child Protection Service agency to remove it. The male minister gets into a shouting match with the female mentor from the group that’s trying to help the teen. The female minister states very plainly that regardless of whether the teen acts on his feelings or not that he’s still going to hell. They claim to have to have his best interests at heart and that everything they teach is an accurate implementation of the Bible.

Then the Prophet (which only makes me think about the fake LDS leader from Big Love) reveals that she herself has resisted her attraction to other women). How unoriginal. Raging homophobe who speaks out of “love” for the sinner preaching that something is wrong who is also guilty of the thing they condemn.

So while these adults clearly have an interest in how the teen lives his life I’m wondering where his parents are. What doesn’t seem to be discussed at all is that this young man has clearly been abandoned and is in the system. I also want to know who’s caring for him on a day to day basis. Neither party discussed it nor did the Tyra Show explain this obvious gap. It was all about fighting over an individual’s right to live with dignity and shaming young adults with condemnation. That’s not the way to lead people to discovering their own religious practice and belief system. That’s telling them what they should do (according to you) and why your “religion” is the only religion and those that don’t do as you say will be “lost”. That is abusive and a classic tactic of manipulation. It assumes that all people believe the same things and removes options from even studying other religious traditions.

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About Our Children Segment On Depression & Violence

So I have some good news and some bad news for you. I was watching the 2-hour panel discussion “About Our Children” with political analyst Michelle Bernard featuring Dr. Bill Cosby. Yes there were various “experts” bandied about to discuss the disadvantaged. Yes there were solutions proposed that seemed a bit preposterous because they had to be publicly stated. Some things cover certain basic behaviors that should be present to begin with – but obviously are NOT there – hence the blighted circumstances. There were certain moments that had to be encapsulated they were so on point.

During this segment three parents were featured who’d overcome substance abuse, domestic violence and depression. I will include that in a separate blog post to discuss. This is the panel follow-up which merited its own discussion. Please watch before reading my response.

What did you think? I’ve read Terrie Williams’ book Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting and it’s excellent. I especially appreciated her comment about how certain black folks (of the “Christian” religious persuasion) tend to equate praying or speaking to a religious figure at their church as an adequate response to resolving emotional problems. I don’t think it can be overstated that far too many black women (as the majority who attend these churches as well as give their time and money) use religious totems unsuccessfully as a panacea to resolving conflicts that would best be served by speaking to a qualified professional. Of course I don’t expect these male church “leaders” to steer people in the right direction either because it benefits these institutions to keep people confused but subservient. I have no love lost for the religious fakery.

The other moment in this conversation that stood out was Alvin Poussaint’s interruption of Terrie Williams. One I thought it was rude (but typical) for him to exert his male privilege by talking over her when she was on a roll. I really would have liked to have heard her finish her thoughts but whatever she was going to say got lost in the aftermath. Then he proceeds to tell a small portion of the “story” by mentioning how depressed so many black men are. Yes he was correct with his stats but he didn’t tell the complete truth. It was another example of excuse-making in my opinion. Whether someone is depressed, suicidal or a sociopath is of no difference to me when they a) have not acknowledged it and sought immediate help b) these boys (they’re not even making it as far as 18) wreck havoc on the lives of scores of black women (and other black men) as they lash out.

We can go read any number of posts at What About Our Daughters as the victims of these “depressed and angry” men are given perhaps their only voice in any media format. As many as half of the ten perps who committed to heinous kidnap, rape and attempted murder of a mother and son at the Dunbar Village housing complex were under 18 at the time. We can go down a list and find many cases of the depraved acts and even more depraved minds of these (would-be criminals). So while I empathize with the clinical analysis if Poussaint is that alarmed he and Cosby should be hosting their own Town Hall meetings urging immediate action and offering a means to provide a service for these “poor young black men”.

Let’s face it: many black men are on a collision course with death and destruction. If it’s reached epidemic proportions as he suggests why aren’t they doing anything significant about it? That is the role of men: to protect and provide. Let these black men step up and take over and police the behavior of these wayward males. Let the sperm donors who sired them take responsibility and stop leaving their care solely in the hands of women who’ve been abandoned and are lacking vital resources. Let them hold others accountable and get the help they need.

My sympathy is with those who are also under stress, who are also depressed but do not engage in domestic terrorism against those they consider even weaker than themselves: black women and children.

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Obama Disses Paterson: Beware the Negro In Sheep’s Clothing

So word on the street is there’s blood in the water. Obama wants New York Governor David Paterson to not seek reelection. Interesting. Some speculate it has to do with his bungling over appointing, er not appointing Caroline Kennedy to the Senate seat vacated by Hillary Clinton. Hmm – who cares? The economy is still in the toilet and many states have Govs that are acting like fools right now or have ruined their state’s infrastructure. Take one Mark Sanford. Take one Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don’t see Obama asking them to go away. Oh yeah I’m supposed to dismiss them because they’re Republicans. Does that mean I’m also supposed to ignore the fact that Paterson is African-American? He’s not half-African and half-white like our president. He’s not a post-racial crossover politician either. He’s part of the bonafied black elite in fact. His family is well-established along with the Dinkins, the Suttons and many others. So am I expected to ignore the blatant disrespect the Obama administration (or is it the “Rahm & David Show”) have shown by PUBLICLY doing this? I don’t think so. Two wrongs don’t make it right.

The decision to ask Mr. Paterson to step aside was proposed by political advisers to Mr. Obama, but approved by the president himself, one of the administration officials said. The president’s request was conveyed to Mr. Paterson by Representative Gregory W. Meeks, a Queens Democrat, who has developed a strong relationship with the Obama administration, they said.


The move against a sitting Democratic governor represents an extraordinary intervention into a state political race by the president, and is a delicate one, given that Mr. Paterson is one of only two African-American governors in the nation. So Obama couldn’t pick up a phone to speak to the Gov directly?

Do I think Paterson did a great job while in office? Not necessarily. I’ve already written about why I thought Leecia Eve or Crystal Peoples should have been appointed instead of Gillibrand and how I think he back-stabbed Eve to get the Lt. Governorship to begin with. So he can’t be that slow or dumb. I was also not impressed by his whining about racism as the motivation behind his public ridicule instead of accepting it was his mediocrity. Ok maybe he is.

The lack of care in handling this messy situation by Obama is what has my hackles raised. He takes the time out to call Kanye West, he defends Skippy Gates, he rewards his other rivals/defiers with high-ranking positions in his administration but he can’t say squat about the racial animus, the plight of black women around the world or any number of things that have a negative impact on the meek of the earth but he can focus on this?

I realize since Rudy Guiliani has expressed interest in running for Gov the Democrats do need to neutralize him. I am personally so sick of him claiming special powers and a superior skill set because he was at Ground Zero during the September 11th attacks. It was complete ineptitude and lack of preparation for disasters that had him stuck there in the first place. Anyhoo…I will always associate him with a 400% rent increase, mass evictions, the death of club kid culture and the killing of the uniqueness of the “old” NYC so I have no partiality when it comes to my disdain for the former Mayor. That and taking credit for the Dinkins plan to increase the effectiveness of law enforcement. Ugh!

This latest move by Obama gives me the creeps. If he wanted to humiliate Paterson this very public chastisement should do that. It has the air of a personal beef and Obama thinks it’s okay to treat Paterson poorly in retaliation but rewarded Hillary Clinton with the Secretary of State position?!!! SMH. What of the unforeseen ramifications of such an action? While it’s true that blacks are not a monolith and not in lockstep with each other on every issue this is still a bad look. Obama is very calculated and cautious in his moves. He’s trying to deny he’s black right now so this obvious lack of faith gesture is especially galling to me. Yet I already hear the deniers discussing how he “needs” to do this because of blah blah blah.

It’s a betrayal plain and simple. Oh wait…I retract that. It can’t be a betrayal because Obama is not a real ally of blacks to begin with. Not the collective anyway. I could mention that black voters are a fickle bunch who don’t exercise any discretion or build coalitions to wield power effectively. I could mention too many focus on pulling a lever or punching a hole during a national election and remain silent and uninvolved the remainder of the time. I could mention too many have treated this president as some sort of prized calf where any criticism is taken as an invitation to fight. There’s a huge lack of discernment in effect. He’s not going to hitch himself to a wagon that could very well fall off the side of a cliff. Yet it’s still a slap in the face with the relative ease by which Obama abandons those blacks who are not “useful” to him but says nothing of the blatant disrespect heaped upon him by the likes of Limbaugh, Beck, Dobbs, etc.

Just when I think I’m possibly being extra harsh and not a political realist or lack enough skill in domination theory and am letting an emotional reaction take over Obama does something like this. I wonder what else is down the pipe for when your senior advisors are all white men cut from the same cloth that leaves out any diversity in perspective or concern about a entire voting group. This becomes a full circle conversation about why black women who want full lives need to divest. Again, it’s up to the black collective to get it together because in many respects this president will be more inclined to do even less than his predecessors (so the majority is out of luck for any number of reasons).

The Emperor Has No Clothes and I for one am getting sick of seeing him showing his a** in public.

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Kanye Didn’t Give the Most Infamous Outburst on MTV

By now I’m certain enough people have heard about Kanye West’s hijacking of Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech. He’d been drinking and used his male privilege to assert his opinion about why Swift’s video for “You Belong With Me” wasn’t as good as Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. Considering the fact she did a virtual recreation of Bob Fosse’s “Mexican Breakfast” (that she sparingly attributes to him) shouldn’t West have been demanding giving credit where credit is due?

Lest anyone think I’m excusing the rap artist’s boorish, rude behavior I’m not! It didn’t go unnoticed how quickly the president’s “off the record” comment referring to West as a jacka** was “accidently” released as well. While it may be true we’re also observing yet another situation where Obama decides to put down blacks to curry brownie points amongst whites. I’m not impressed by either males’ behavior under these circumstances.

For me the honor of the most infamous VMA acceptance interruptus goes to Fiona Apple. Whether she was speaking from the heart or biting the hand that fed her, the then 19-year-old’s speech from 1997 will remain memorable.

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Creating A Vision Board Helps U Get Rid of Disordered Thinking

I once took a sunrise yoga class on the beach in Santa Monica. Yeah…only in California, right? I have to say it was pretty cool to move into the Sun Salutation pose as the sun rose across the beach. It was during the summer on a Saturday. The sound of the water, the seagulls and the smell in the air was heady. It was a great start to the day. There’s a certain aspect attributed to this mythical “California lifestyle” that doesn’t necessarily have to do with being physically present there. The healthier lifestyle, less processed food and yogi aspects can be implemented anywhere. Plus if you live elsewhere you can avoid the smog of SoCal, the fog of NoCal and the earthquakes! Yet nothing quite beats Wine Country – it’s a foodie heaven!!

I’ve been thinking about this as I’ve noted the unemployment rate jumped from 11.9% to 12.2% in California with no sign of abating. Ugh! A serious weeding out is occurring across the country and we all have to step it up a notch. There are so many capable and talented people who may find themselves in challenging situations right now. Those that won’t keep up with technological advances and other changes are going to be left behind.

I want to achieve a certain quality of life that is not dependent on living in a specific location or having a particular job or whether I’m married. All of those aspects have their importance in a patriarchal/racist society but I don’t want to be dependent on external circumstances. I can still work towards being a whole person with a full life while being open to how I get there. Sometimes it’s a matter of trial and error but as long as we have breath we can get there.

Which brings me to the Vision Board. It’s also referred to as a dream board. Some might suggest affirmations or chanting or meditation or prayer. There’s quite a few “practitioners” touting the benefits of envisioning the life you want for yourself. I say do whatever works for you. This board taps into the mind/body connection for changes you want to bring to your life. I did purchase this book written by Joyce Schwarz.


It’s the antithesis of magical thinking. The exercises in this book not only help you think about all of the things you want but help you focus on achieving them. That focus helps dispel the negativity, doubts and questions that bubble up to the surface. It’s more than mere positive thinking – it’s a reinforcement of reordered thinking.


Schwarz uses a sequence she refers to as GRABS:
  • Gratitude – for where we are right now
  • Release – getting rid of unproductive mentalities
  • Acknowledge & Ask – recognizing progress and getting help
  • Be & Believe – authenticity of self and knowing this will work
  • Share – paying it forward
You create a personal manifesto and take it from there. This can be added as another aspect of your life’s journey. You can create a family board, a career board or whatever speaks to you. There’s no wrong way. It doesn’t matter where you are – it begins NOW.

For a peek at a chapter clink the link here.

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Old School Friday: Criminals-R-Us

Okay these memes are definitely food for thought. This week is “Criminal Records”

Boogie Down Productions was the first song that came to mind. I’m surprised as well but I’m going with it.

The latest MTV flap over 19 year old Taylor Swift made me think of another 19 year old’s MTV-related outburst (it was her own though) when Fiona Apple won Best New Artist in 1997. I also remember people were up in arms at the overtly sexual implications indicated in this video. It seems tame by comparison to what occurs today (what’s encouraged) but I recall that Courtney Love was concerned about protecting Apple from being exploited. Much in the same way others rushed to defend and protect Swift. It speaks volumes about the values people hold and for whom they bestow them on.

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Jimmy Carter Says It’s the Racism – Obama Says Hold Up

“I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he’s African American,” Carter said.

Well thanks a lot former president Jimmy Carter. Thanks for making perfect sense. Now look what you’ve done. Your one statement could undermine the Obama presidential plan to remain as race neutral as possible. He already miscalculated by wasting valuable “race currency” defending that Harvard “elitist” and had to have a beer with the idiot cop. Who by the way was unrepentant and never apologized. Kinda like so many other white people who claim we’re being taken over by an alien, communist, socialist all as code word for their fear of a Black Planet. Oh yeah – Obama isn’t a US citizen and a Muslim to boot. Don’t you know Mr. President the current occupant of the Oval Office is not a bleeding heart liberal like you. You’re Mr. Nice Guy. He’s not going out like you did.

Obama made certain to send his spokes-hack out for damage control. Robert Gibbs, Mr Obama’s press secretary, said: “The President does not believe that that criticism comes based on the colour of his skin.”

Too much race talk is like forcing people to take Cod Liver Oil by the gallon. It’s really good for you but so distasteful. That gag reflex is in full effect you know. Stop making sense! While it’s true that some people are actually opposed to the administration’s policies (many we don’t actually know what they are yet) let’s face the truth here. Most of these people are straight up embedded in their white privilege and blinded to it. I’ve failed to see even one tenth of the vitriol directed at George Bush that Barack Obama gets.

Of course I’m on the opposite end feeling dissatisfied because I know think our interests are being sold out and rendered useless. I define those loosely as wanting a reorder of the current status quo. That includes less power by the Corporate Industrial Complex, their army of lobbyists and neutered politicians and more effective jurisdiction by the “little” people. That includes holding the president accountable to us, not them. So I really have zero patience with these people – some of whom I know didn’t vote. Isn’t it funny how those otherwise passive yell the loudest nonsense?

Say it isn’t so, president Carter. You know you’re going to have to publicly recant what you said. Obama has already repudiated you. Didn’t you get the memo? We’re in Post-Racial America now and any discussion about how the use of privilege has been extended to a small percentage of the population is akin to throwing a molotov cocktail into a locked room. Don’t do it!! Those of us with eyes to see and ears to hear already know what’s up. Trying to make sense to the indoctrinated will not earn you their gratitude – only their derision as they hold fast to their false totems.

You’re getting quite feisty in your senior years, Sir. Getting to 85 with your health and mental faculties intact is a feat. You feel that you have nothing to lose. First you rebuke your church for its gender prejudice and now this. Grandpa doesn’t care who’s in the room – you’re going to tell it like it is. It is appreciated by many but it will be equally rejected by others. Those who like to scream and use terms like reverse racism. I’ve finally figured out that wanting a life outside the Matrix means dealing carefully with all of those left behind is imperative. Let this president do things the way he wants. Even if we disagree – it’s his right.

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Whitney Houston Oprah Interview Day 2: On Michael Jackson & Her Comeback

Houston discusses her friendship with Michael Jackson. One thing I’ve found interesting is how isolated and lonely so many of these celebrities are. They have so much talent and so many resources. It seems as if they get lost in the mix trying to self-protect. Houston says she’s feeling the love she has for HERSELF and that’s a great thing. We must always make sure our needs are being met an we take care of ourselves first.


Houston claims to be drug-free. I’m not going to comment on the fact that despite all of this discussion about Bobby Brown and his abusive behavior she’s friends with R Kelly. Ok I lied. One word comes to mind: hypocrite. Another word comes to mind: denial. That’s all I’m gonna say. When we’ve discussed evaluating how and what we support if we are denigrated by others I have to include the women who support the denigration. There’s much I don’t know and may not understand. I still have to employ some semblance of standards though. That’s all I’m gonna say. ** This got way too gushy for me at the end. That’s all I’m gonna say.

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