I Pity The Woman Who Takes Relationship Advice From Steve Harvey Alone!

Don’t be a fool ladies. Oprah may have found his shtick funny but it’s not as if she’s going to stop whatever works for her life with Stedman to adopt Steve’s rules of engagement. I blame best friend Gayle who clearly lacks some critical thinking skills and knowledge of what’s happening in today’s dating world by suggesting the book in the first place. Oprah had him on for a brief Friday Live segment two weeks ago and he was funny so she invited him back for an entire episode. That’s when I went, oh no! Perhaps they thought it was a great book because it’s a generational thing since they’re all in their 50’s? Which only proves how out of touch they are! 

So I asked if anyone had watched this Oprah episode on Twitter and I was directed to this article by author Roslyn Holcomb on her self-titled blog: Don’t Take Relationship Advice From Men.

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Monday Link Time

Howard Dean Gets A Gig – It’s about time we get to hear from him. I still don’t accept the excuse about not meshing or whatever excuse was used to justify Dean not being part of the Obama administration. Not when the agitators and combatants got positions and not when others with questionable ties and loyalties remain. Not when highly paid and wealthy officials decide certain laws are like a cafeteria menu that they can pick and choose which ones to follow are supported by the President. Something in the milk ain’t clean.
African Nations Exchange White Oppressors for Asian Ones – By barring the Dalai Lama from entering South Africa for China approval. Meanwhile China is taking resources just as quickly as the Europeans did. You’d think some of these (mis)leaders would review a page from history and get a clue…but that seems to be asking too much!  
History of Violence in Oakland: Will This Serve As A Wakeup Call to Blacks? Probably not the ones it needs to. While people are still raw about the Oscar Grant III shooting, some lunatic killed 4 police officers at a traffic stop this past weekend. What are the odds of the cops stopping to ask questions instead of shooting first NOW? It’s not all about white racism. When will people stop harboring the criminals and ex-cons in their neighborhoods and stop making excuses for their behavior? They’re not all “babies” or “misunderstood” or “otherwise good people”. 
Continuing with this conversation, the Mehserle preliminary hearing has been postponed by the judge. It feels like every accommodation to avoid prosecution of the former transit cop will be made under the guise of “justice”. 
If you’re not using Twitter – STOP – and join now! I’m telling you it opens up your entire network and social circle in a way you’d never imagine. We need more people of color involved in technology ventures and you can’t do that if you’re not even in the loop. 

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Tyra Did Her Own Show on Teen Dating Violence

Phew I didn’t have anything to record this with but it was more harrowing than the Oprah episode from last week. I see parallels in how there’s been a lot of social gains but other core basics have been ignored and a lot of social ills have emerged more virulent than ever. Apparently the dating violence rate has nearly doubled in the past decade. The Oprah episode with Robin Givens and Kevin Powell was pre-empted in my market on Thursday for March Madness so I hope it repeats again soon. This Tyra episode scared me quite frankly.
She had several teen girls on who talked about being punched, strangled, choked and hit with objects. She featured one couple who are 17 and 18 with a toddler where the male thinks he’s stone cold and didn’t want to take any responsibility for his actions. He’d punched his girlfriend at least 4 times and choked her, causing her to black out. So Tyra thanked him for sitting on the panel but referred to him as a kid. Oh well, I’m not a medical professional but that’s just bunk! At 18 you can serve in the military and go to prison, okay. He isn’t a baby – he has a baby! 
Men who batter look to women to make them feel good and increase their self-esteem. So basically they feel vulnerable and perhaps defeated in other parts of their lives and take it out on someone they think is weaker. So this guy kept denying he felt powerless, he claims he feels nothing that battering is not trying to be manly. So the therapist who spoke was trying to offer critique and he was blowing her off. So what are the odds this guy will admit he’s abusive, get help, do the work necessary and break the cycle? I’m sorry but I’m not holding my breath.
Tyra offered both teens therapy and the young woman being victimized said she’d go. I want to have some amount of sympathy but I’m more inclined to tell her to run and not look back. Don’t try to find any excuses to stay with someone who could kill her. Her mother was on the panel and mentioned how her grandchild’s demeanor has changed because of what’s he’s been exposed to. Hello!!!!
Oh..I just did a Youtube search and this aired last week in certain markets so here’s the video. Our young women really need help! The flippant attitude from some in the audience was beyond belief.

The main young woman featured said she hopes she’ll stay away. She also mentions that she was financially supporting her deadbeat, lowlife, gutter boyfriend. I won’t be able to watch these segments again for a long time. I suspect this young woman will end up dead and if not she is extremely lucky, but I can’t say her choices so far indicate that she’ll have a quality life.
I don’t know what to say. I see patterns that these women have been sexualized at a young age, have babies, may still be in high school and have a lot of burdens placed on them quite frankly that I’d find challenging and I’m a decade older. I just feel like they’ve been failed by the people around them. As for Tyra last remark about there being “two sides to every story” that sounded like a legal caveat. I say put these “tough” guys in prison for a few days since they think they’re so tough. Let them experience some of what they’ve dished out and they’ll see how tough they really are! Then offer some that *may* have remorse therapy and a chance at restitution with a no violation clause. I think some of these “men” are beyond redemption though and even at 18 it may be too late for some have already killed their girlfriends. Every young man doesn’t act this way and I think we may want to be lenient when it would be a mistake to do so. 

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First You Get Jacked For Your Bags – Now It’s For What’s In ‘Em

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I read this and asked myself if it was April Fool’s Day yet, but alas it’s not. Apparently there was a sting operation that went down where airline contractors where stealing items out of our checked bags. This went down in St. Louis and they claim it was only one airline, but how much do you want to bet this sort of thing has happened all over the country with all of those suckers? I’ve recalled having things missing from bags before and the airline liability is a joke! Plus we can’t lock our bags without giving them the keys. These are supposed to be highly scrutinized airline employees who have to pass a background/criminal check, but they’re stealing?!
See this is why I’m very suspicious of the TSA. We have practically no rights when we “decide” to travel by air. Our bodies are scanned, we have to take off our shoes and they can rifle through all of our most intimate belongings all in the name of “safety”. Sounds like a police state to me!
Then to add insult to injury the cheapo airlines – who lobby the government by the way – have stolen our beverages, our food, our kneecap and elbow space and inching closer to our sanity and they wonder why people don’t want to fly. Our flights are bumped, the planes aren’t being maintained on schedule and the customer service is negligible at best. Unless you’re a First Class flier – then you’re ok. See how paying more nets you basic hospitality but only accounts for a portion of the airlines’ profits while the masses in Coach who are supporting the entire operation get treated like gum on the bottom of their shoe?
I actually was stopped by one of those hacks who measured my carry-on bag for American Airlines and claimed it was too bulky and it had to be checked. They did it to 10 other people. Nobody’s going to convince me these airlines aren’t involved in some sort of racket – especially when they offer $10 sandwiches on a 5.5 hour flight and not so much as a peanut to tide you over.
Since Amtrak’s been severely handicapped for years and we’re so ass-backwards in the United States there’s no high-speed affordable rail like the TGV in Europe. In fact a lot of the rail tracks that did exist were deliberately torn up thanks to the oil companies working in collusion with the automakers and the government building the highways and ordering interstate traffic. Now that it just costs so darn much they want to rethink it. The roads are crumbling and a proposed bullet train between San Francisco and Los Angeles has a $10B pricetag. I mean I’m all for the train but that’s a lot of money you know. 
I question the innovation of those that wanted to be fuel efficient and have an alternative years ago, from electric car technology to using cooking oil as a gas replacement but were thwarted in favor of short term gains and profits for a few. I also want to know when the airlines are going to held accountable for their government bailouts and corporate welfare using tax payer money when they’re gouging us. If AIG can be taken to task why not them? I want all of my checked bag fees refunded via the tax return and meal credits. Is that too much to ask?

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Tori Amos Debuts New Material at SXSW

This was the one year I really wish I had gone to SXSW and could’ve paid cash for it. I know you can volunteer but already heard from some locals the experience isn’t pleasant. So I guess I didn’t want to go that much. There were some great panels including Blacks in Tech, and participants including Racialicious, Rob Fields and others. Now SXSW has expanded into Film and Interactive sessions, but it’s still the music that brings all the people in the yard. 
This year drew some big names to the festival including one Tori Amos. Usually established artists at her level don’t go back to play these events but she was never one to follow convention anyway. Plus, picking up some new fans never hurts. She performed three songs from her 10th studio release “Abnormally Attracted to Sin”, which will be out May 19th – hey that’s my mom’s birthday!  Do you think mom would be mad if I bought her the CD and burned a copy for myself?! Ha! 
Now before some of you get either excited or riled-up by the title alone you should read her autobiography, Piece By Piece where she goes into detail about her religious upbringing (her dad’s a minister) and some of her views. Amos isn’t adverse to controversy – after all she posed with a piglet clutched to her chest so that it appeared she was suckling it! She even took on Enimen back in the day (see where his career went) for his misogyny, stating people would dance to songs where there was “blood on their sneakers” and not even notice. 
I am unabashed fan, even if I sometimes feel she’s slipped us a pill on the way down the musical rabbit hole. She has a child and husband to attend to and doesn’t tour as much as she used to but certain cities she’s known to play multiple gigs and she usually does a completely different set. This does all but guarantee the need to see her more than once. Now the last time she came to San Francisco area she played 3 nights at Oakland’s Paramount Theatre where the seats are spacious and cushy and the acoustics are excellent. 
I didn’t have a blog then for I most likely would have written a scathing review about how pissed I was that there was a camera crew shooting her DVD and the dolly went back and forth every 30 seconds obstructing our view. It’s not like there was any advanced warning about it and the shows were sold out. Now that was an otherwise glaring blip on usually excellent shows.
I met Tori in London in 2003. Live and in person in her very warm dressing room and she referred to me as a “beautiful mocha presence”. Honestly only Tori could get away with saying something like that. There’s a story involved in how I met somebody milling about the venue entrance before the show who knew somebody who worked for Tori and offered to let us backstage past her (intimidating) bodyguard to meet her. She was absolutely lovely and gracious and it was totally unexpected. I don’t have the pictures because the other person was a jealous lizard who kept them all!! It wasn’t my camera used as it was unexpected. I have the memories though as well as the encouraging words of a woman who’s fought to maintain a career in a less and less forgiving industry where they want fluff over substance. I also know to bring a camera with me at all times now – or use the cell phone!
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Have You Checked Out Dhani Tackles the Globe?

Well it’s about time we get to see a Travel Channel show with Black people! We do go places you know. I would love to see a show with a regular person versus an NFL star but this is a good start. If we watch the show and petition the network for more shows like this we will. I wish more people would take advantage of the chance to leave the US and see the world while completing their education. There are high school and college exchange programs and if you search there are affordable ones. There are also work exchange programs so you can earn a loonie, peso, euro or pound while you’re at it. Plus there’s quite a few scholarships available. I wrote an essay and got 1/3 of my expenses covered with it. Financial aid took care of the rest. You don’t have to be middle class or wealthy to do it – you just have to want it! Or have someone point out the huge growth potential involved in participating. Here’s one of the trailers: 

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Hard To Believe People Still Think Like This

Via the UK Guardian:
Iris Robinson, the Democratic Unionist MP who referred to homosexuality as an abomination, will not be prosecuted after official complaints were made to the police over her remarks.
The Public Prosecution Service (PPS) in Northern Ireland confirmed today it was not proceeding with an investigation into the MP’s comments.
Robinson, who is married to Northern Ireland’s first minister, Peter Robinson, also said gay people could be “cured” of their homosexuality by psychotherapy.
Oh really? Haven’t we already put that whole idea to rest in the 1970’s when psychiatric associations declassified it as an illness? I mean labeling it a sickness allowed for all sorts of legal discrimination. It wasn’t used in the way addiction is labeled a disease mind you. Though she won’t face any legal ramifications, hopefully she will face public scorn that will give her pause. 
As unpleasant as her statements may be I think it’s great when people share their inner most thoughts uncensored. We need to know what people really think instead of hiding behind this fake political correctness crap. We need to know who our enemies are and it’s much easier to rally against or monitor them when they make themselves known so clearly. Just some food for thought.
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Old School Friday

This week’s meme is songs with the word “Baby” in the title. I immediately thought of TLC. They had some really cool videos but they could also perform live, hence the footage from their Apollo appearance.
You thought I was done, didn’t you. I had to include the song that TLC famously turned down which spawned the career of one Britney Spears. Ok but I’m not showing her – Travis does an interesting cover though. Have a great weekend!

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Highlights from PBO on Leno

I would’ve posted the full interview but all personal videos have been pulled from Youtube over a copyright infringement flag. Mind you the news organizations are able to rerun portions to their hearts content, but the little people…not so much! Here’s the Twitter stream of messages about the interview – and I just found out the full interview is available on NBC‘s website. Very clever of them to direct the traffic back to their site, eh?
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Condi Rice Continuing Her Lap Dance of Lies for Bush

Dr. Rice was the solo guest on Rose’s show. She is articulate, intelligent and cunning. I’m certain she has many stories to tell – including a promised book about her parents that I’d definitely read. She is an anomaly and would be considered atypical to the usual portrayals of Black women people are used to seeing. She is her own person and doesn’t give a damn what any of us think of her. 
For all of her accomplishments she is still stumping for the Bush administration and is a liar liar pants on fire about the events surrounding 9/11 and the takeover of Iraq. I don’t care how well she looks as the lies spill from her ruby painted lips, she is still an agent for chaos. The irony is of course her rise in the Republican party would not have been duplicated had she been a Democrat. At least I don’t think so. That fact is mostly bitter with little sweetness. She is certainly not unique in that many other minions of Bush did his bidding and the Democrats have their hands just as dirty for rubber-stamping everything. 
It’s just Dr. Rice doesn’t strike me as someone who does things she doesn’t want to do – not unless it will benefit her long term goals. She’s no pushover. She supports education across class structures and I hope to find some common ground where other women and even some Black women would be able to work with her. Why? She’s a formidable ally. We need those that can hang tough when the rubber meets the road. So here’s the interview. Take your medicine in small doses if you must, but I think this is a something to watch all the same.

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