Something I Wasn’t Sure I Wanted to Post

Today Is TinFoil Hat Day But I Still Have Hope


(I was going to publish this Friday morning but my internet has been down. Then I thought I was giving into fear. Then I thought I was a little crazy, but really smart/talented people are usually crazy so what the heck!)

As this bailout saga and political intrigue drags on the question of the day may be how long are the politicians gonna objusficate the process and why? What’s the end game? It could be a ‘mere’ jockeying for the Presidency and once we’ve voted and prevented all manner of attack on our rights good will prevail. We will learn to be ever diligent and pay attention from now on. Right?

So many people thought they knew what they were getting when they voted for Bush. He was amenable. He was the harmless scion of a former President. A cowboy you could have a beer with. A few well-placed sound bytes got you excited. Things looked good on paper.
Then all hell broke loose and you just wanted to feel safe again. Mind you it was just a feeling despite all the evidence to the contrary but you consider yourself to be above-average in opinions, looks and lifestyle so of course your judgment is sound.

You’re not one of those people after all. You work hard. You love your family. You gave money to Katrina. You’re a good person. You many not actually know what your elected officials do but you trust them to do the right thing. You don’t really have time to look into all of that with work and living your life. Let somebody else deal with the details. If it’s on the news it must be correct. Or you think it’s all crap and nothing you do matters so you just try to get through life unscathed. 

Since things may not have quite worked out the way you expected you think fresh blood might do the trick. Oh wait, there’s somebody else who’s been around for a while. He might be okay. He had been around and that has to count for something, right? You don’t know why you trust him even though he’s supported the one who’s disappointed you, but he seems different somehow. You have no evidence as proof though. If you evaluated his voting records you might find out he helped put you in the boat along with the one you want to get rid of, but he says he’ll do things differently. He wouldn’t lie to you would he?

I’ve been reading a lot of web sites and there’s some major disagreement amongst economists about how to fix the crisis as well as the opinion that there is no ‘crisis’ at all and we should not fall for this latest snow job by the Bush administration.
On the other hand some see this situation in much dire terms. They posit we may be on the verge of a hostile takeover of our gov’t by Bush. That he has no plans for leaving office at the end of his term. That martial law will be declared. So there’d be no election. 
Crazy idea isn’t it? But is it really? Just because it appears that way doesn’t mean that it is impossible. The implications are frightening and they should be! How prepared are you for a worse-case doomsday scenario? 
So I made a point of taking copious notes of the book Getting Out just in case I need to make a dash for the border before November. Fortunately I live in California and have the option of two foreign countries to choose from. I can see Mexico from my backyard you know. So I can discuss foreign policy easily with President Calderon. 
Maybe Hugo Chavez will grant asylum to every Black citizen in the US since he is also part Black? I know a little Spanish and I’m certain if I weren’t so lazy about conjugating my verbs I could speak fluently. 
We already have anarchists, citizen protestors, civil right’s activists and a myriad of concerned people living here in San Francisco. Hopefully we have calmer heads prevailing in positions of authority as our District Attorney, Fire Chief and Police Chief are all women. I should add these are intelligent women who paid their dues, moved up the ranks and earned their positions despite obstacles. 
Our Mayor fought for legalizing marriage for same sex couples. Perhaps all the wealthy conservatives and greedy societal bleeders would hop on their private planes and jet at the first sign of trouble. At least we have experience exercising our rights and I’m certain we could mobilize some resistance. 
If Blackwater storms the barricades and takes over San Francisco I hope we will be able to hold them off for as long as possible and establish a secondary gov’t. 
All of this is mere speculation of course and no I am not crazy. I believe that we all have free will and people can allow themselves to be used in the service of good/light or evil/darkness. I also am a person of faith and I trust that no matter what happens from here on out things will work out for the best. 
I watched Larry King Thursday night. First he had a political panel on to discuss the day’s events from the extremely limited perspective all corporate media chooses to deliver sound bytes to us. What really pissed me off was the female Republican supporter who was blatantly lying and why nobody called her on it. Sure they disagreed but not one of them actually discussed laws that had been passed that weakened the financial infrastructure or the pattern of behavior by members of both parties that aid this greed and corruption to flourish. 
During his second segment he had on comedian Chris Rock. It seems that everyone has to walk a fine line as even he tried to come across as amenable as possible when asked about Bill Clinton’s actions of the past few days in his unabashed support of McCain versus his tepid support of Obama. Chris made one really valid point: Obama is not a multi-millionaire going into the White House. He still knows what it’s like to be on the lower end of the economic totem pole and that is always beneficial for those of us who are not wealthy. 
It’s a fine line to walk being in the public eye. I find myself wanting to bring the fire and ask the tough questions and confront people. I am so tired of this dinner theater show these people who want to control us put on every day.
Bill Clinton can relate to John McCain better I think because they are both worth more than 100M. They share many of the same friends and maybe the same loyalties. McCain is clearly a puppet who chose Palin as an even more malleable puppet for their puppet masters. It made me wonder about those donors to Clinton’s library that he doesn’t want released. That was one of the vetting conditions for Hillary to have been considered Vice President. 
I might be a registered Democrat but I will not be one of those people loyal to a political party instead of being loyal to myself. I have seen how such blind loyalty without demanding conditions is like casting my pearl before pigs.
Just because someone may be planning on harming you doesn’t mean they will get to. Divine intervention does occur. I also believe that we are given signs and warnings and we should pay attention to them. We are also doomed to repeat our mistakes until we learn from them. 
There’s a lot riding on the events of the next few days. We need people of courage to step forward. We need people to speak the truth. We need to have our hearts and minds open and available. 
If there was ever a time for prayer it is now.

I’m Not Partisan I Am For Me

So I was watching the first Presidential debate last night and got a major cramp from sending out so many Tweets to my internet friends. Now I found out Current TV and Twitter are combining services for the next debates where your messages may appear onscreen in a live blog format. I love it! 
I was sooo bored that I dozed off for about 8 minutes. I’m sure the 5 glasses of champagne I drank on an empty stomach may have had something to do with that. It was the only cold beverage I had in my fridge. Naw it was debate. Obama was Mr. Cool and McCain was trying to throw dirt to see if anything would stick. Obama obviously put on his insect repellent and scotch guard. The consensus on who scored is of course split, but Obama is given the nod amongst independent voters. Those of us firmly in the trenches on either side don’t count right now.
I found myself yelling at the tv for Obama to mention McCain’s voting record and throw a hook when Old Man Grumpy said something that was an obvious lie or if you prefer, a misrepresentation.  I also was annoyed with McCain for being generally pissy and not looking at Obama. If he could look at Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and see K-G-B he must certainly see puppy dogs and rainbows when he looks at Obama. 
McCain is approximately 26 years older than Obama. That’s the length of time he’s been in the Senate. I don’t get the experience argument. If I was going to do a comparison I’d look at what McCain did during the same period of time and what legislation he’d supported, introduced and rejected.
Since he’s rejected making a national holiday of Martin Luther King’s birthday that’s something I’d evaluate. He voted for laws that have favored and is currently being advised by those crooks on Wall Street. They managed to implement an elaborate Ponzi scheme, bilk the average American who has not even set foot on Wall Street and then came back for more. 
I don’t think every person who works on Wall Street is a crook, nor every CEO flouts the law, but I do think when you’ve gotten rid of any regulation then it’s a free for all until it all comes down. They should not get to borrow money from the gov’t at .025% and charge us 8% (or more) AND not pay (hardly any) taxes. Of course they WILL if they CAN, I mean who’s gonna voluntarily turn that down?
This fallacy of how the wealth of a few executives who are mostly white, male and from a similar cultural background will somehow fall like manna from heaven onto you and me needs to STOP! Seriously. This is a lie. I’d feel the same way if it was a group of mostly women or people of color – but seriously when do you think that’s gonna happen in this country? Individuals, sure but not a core group of people. It would change the power structure and dismantle white supremacy. 
Anyway – weren’t people paying attention to the dot.com flop, Enron and Tyco from a few years ago? This had been pre-warned, but so many of us were preoccupied by shiny toys (evil illegals and evil fags coming in the night). In California a big part of our economic shortages come from over-priced housing and defaulted mortgages, but everything was so grossly inflated basing a budget on that was just stupid! And I will keep saying it ’til the cows come home: when Gov. Gray Davis started investigating Enron (it turned out they were intentionally overcharging us for services on behalf of Bush) he got ‘recalled’ by that fake selection of an Austrian actor. 
And though those of us in Northern CA still kept our wits the rest of the state was a little too star-struck. Where was the discussion about experience then? How does starring in an action movie and being rich make you a great politician? Do you think people in Hollywood tend to have a grip on the reality of the average American? Do you think a man worth more than $100M understands that? It’s not as if McCain has ever been poor.
So do you evaluate the time he spent in jail as a POW as a character assessment? Then why not include his cheating on his wife and leaving her after she became disfigured? Besides he was fighting an ‘illegal’ war that was just as much about dominating a smaller nation as is Iraq. This wasn’t a Nelson Mandela imprisonment and fight for justice. 
Maybe if he’d performed better in the Naval academy he wouldn’t have gotten captured in the first place. 
I want a President who actually remembers the cost of a gallon of milk because they (ok probably their spouse) bought it. Why? Such a person is more grounded. There are other necessary skill sets like being able to deal with assholes and keep a smile on your face – which I am so NOT inclined to do. I want that person to have some good qualities I don’t have. I want them to be life smart. I want them to have compassion. I don’t want them to be totally co-opted by corporatists – but I do accept they have to build a relationship with them. They can’t get their way all the time and have to be willing to compromise sometimes. 
It dismays me that so many people seem willing to have no standards at all. Or worse are basing their choice on superficial or limited reasons. I have concerns. I know I won’t be living in a utopia. Things are a mess – even more than we realize. We have to take responsibility for our part in this. We equate spending and material accumulation with freedom. Yet this has only enslaved us. We’re spiritually and civically bankrupt. Our intentions were good but we went off the path a while back. We have an opportunity to get back on track, but making sound decisions are part of that. There is no easy way out either. We have a lot of work to do. Our muscles have atrophied from lack of use. It remains to be seen if we will collectively move towards the path of rebuilding or of further collapse. This time there will be no one to blame but ourselves.

Cuz I Want to Talk About Something Other Than Power, Corruption and Lies

Janet Jackson has ended her relationship with Island Def Jam records. Yet she’s still dating the guy running the company. Her latest release Discipline was a great big flop and I guess she thought it best to cut her losses. THIS IS WHY YOU KEEP THE MAN AND YOUR BUSINESS SEPARATE. Either one area thrives and the other…does not.

I was trying to think back to the last Janet release that I actually liked and it took a while. Now don’t misunderstand I admire MISS JACKSON for her talent and numerous career accomplishments, her charity work and acting ability but I’ve been extremely disappointed. Don’t even get me started on (Pariah Scary) Mariah Carey. Her Betty Boop meets Marilyn Monroe act is sooo beyond tired. If Mary J. Blige can put out consistently relevant but still quality music why can’t they?

Lately I find myself hard-pressed to part with my hard-earned cash to buy albums (yeah I kick it ol’ skool). There was a time when we consumers could rest assured when we purchased music we’d be getting at least a 75% satisfaction quotient instead of feeling ripped off with 1-2 decent songs and an album of filler crap.

So I’d have to pass on the last couple of JJ albums though there were a few good singles. I think I’d have to go back as far as Velvet Rope or the Janet album – now that was a great release! Of course Rhythm Nation and Control are considered classics now, but how long ago was that?

Part of the problem is that Janet’s reputation was trashed. Let’s call it the “Black Woman’s Burden” over the Super Bowl fiasco. Justin Timbersnake got to walk away scot free and Janet got the shaft.

If it had been Madonna she would’ve said F-U and meant it. Of course Madonna wouldn’t have been sharing the stage with anybody in the first place. No the MTV Awards where she kissed Britney and Xtina doesn’t count. That wasn’t a performance – that was a stunt.

The only way I could see a problem scenario for Madonna would’ve been if she had been on stage with a Black male singer but I can’t think of any artist who would’ve been performing with her. Usher? No way. Ne-Yo? Too fey. Chris Brown? He makes her look too old.

Besides Madonna already had her ‘Black man” controversy over kissing the Black saint in her Like A Prayer video. Pepsi had been sponsoring her but by the time they pulled the plug she’d already cashed that check!! Haha!

We know there’s an entire library set of rules and double-standards when it comes to the display and portrayal of sexuality between white women and black women. Janet is musical royalty. Britney was praising Madonna to the high heavens but stealing all of Janet’s moves – remember the chair routine in the Stronger video?

As much as I respect MISS JACKSON her music has sucked lately. I have no idea how difficult it must be to maintain your career after getting to superstardom but she needs to go back to Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis pronto. Or find new collaborators who are REAL musicians and writers, not just Garage Band knob twiddlers. Yeah I’m calling you out Palow da Don. And please….no rappers…no voice box. She needs someone respectable NOT just popular today. **Call Peven Everett**.

Prime example of this is Madonna, who’s latest album sucks too. The whole Timbaland/Kanye/Pharrell dance is now over. Or it should be. Confessions On A Dancefloor was a masterpiece. Like Erotica. Like Ray of Light. Not as bad as American Life but not close to Bedtime Stories – which was her last foray into R&B land.

I always cracked up at Whitney Houston’s musical turf outrage over Madonna working with Babyface. “I worked with FACE first!” Good luck on that comeback.

I’ll give props to both Janet and Madonna for still being out there and still selling the sexy. Speaking of sexy Tina Turner is on tour. As well as Cher. And Bette Midler. Sharon Jones of the Dap Kings is out there kicking butt as well.  
Nobody says anything about the Rolling Stones or Aerosmith performing and being old(er). I saw the Police reunion show. I thought it was very mechanical and kept thinking they were counting their money and calculating when they could end the show and go to bed that night.

McCain Wants More Deregulation as WAMU Folds

Mr. Cut & Run and his Republican cronies (not all Republicans) are going to stall this bailout for as long as they can until they twist the knife in a little deeper in the backs of the average American. Unless WE stop them.

Now Washington Mutual is going down the tubes. See that bailout was only gonna go but so far.
Bush can’t hold back the floodgates of all the ish that’s going down now. It couldn’t have happened at a better time. It’s 40 days and counting to election day. Will we make it until then?

DISTRACTION TACTICS WON’T WORK THIS TIME!

**I predict a landslide come November that’ll leave the idiot squawkers speechless. 

So Bush tried to scare the beejeebus out of us last night with his fake doomsday predictions. “The financial sky is falling!!”, he claimed. Unless the middle class and poor people of this country bail out (a couple of his rich friends and cronies) Wall Street God is gonna send a lightning bolt to strike us dead! 

Now’s the time for you and me to sing, “The Roof Is On Fire”. I see no reason to not let the ‘muthafucka’ burn either. Bush is ‘concerned’ about the credit market and our ability to buy a house or start a business. How lofty a goal! How about paying for medicine and buying food? Or making the rent? Just cut us a check for say $20K and call it even. Screw Wall Street. Screw Republican trickle-down economics. 

It’s good for our elected officials to question the terms of this bailout BS. Apparently the latest demand for $700B is a number Bush made up. That amount is 5 times more than the costs associated with those so-called sub-prime loans being blamed (along with a few homebuyers) for this crisis. Why were the values of homes so overinflated in the first place?

WE DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE TO ANY STRONG-ARM TACTICS, SUBTERFUGE OR A CONTINUATION OF THIS CHARADE. 

Wall Street had enough money to give itself a $120B Bonus Check last year and we’re now supposed to believe they’re bankrupt!! Bush just wants another blank check with no transparency or oversight as a gift to his friends as he leaves office. He ‘promised’ a future repayment to the American people much in the way we can expect the tooth fairy to leave money under our pillows. Ok fine – but how are we gonna collect that debt on top of all the other debts he’s saddled us with?

McCain thought he’d try to pull a fast one and claim to suspend his campaign [he lied and has been busted] to go act Presidential and rescue the economy from his friends for us. The latest polls show him tanking faster than the Titanic (even amongst those hard working whites) so he must have a bad case of the runs! 

He really cares about us you know. He’s a POW. Those 9 houses, 12 cars and a private jet make him just like you and me. I watched a lot of teevee punditry and not one person mentioned that McCain signed these very laws that deregulated the industry in the first place. 

The National Enquirer has blown up the Sarah Palin sex scandal AND she looked stupid and incompetent again in yet another staged ‘interview’. So is it any wonder McLame wants to skip out on Friday’s debate so he can postpone the VP one indefinitely? Remember when he was crying wolf after Obama agreed to just three debates when he’d requested ten? Now he can’t even show up for one?!! WTF!! 

Obama tried to play nice and called McLame to put out a joint statement. Dumb ass! McCain tried to punk him but it totally backfired. Haha! My neck hurts from all the back and forth though. He was in NYC to attend the Clinton Global Initiative – what a coincidence. Bill Clinton says he’s ‘swell’ and not debating Obama is fine by him. Bill is an ass by the way. Did I forget to mention McCain’s a MAVERICK™?

David Letterman must not be drinking the Lame-Ade because he roasted McCain over his sudden cancellation and claim he needed to get back to Washington. He couldn’t be bothered to show up for 412 out of the 643 votes of pending legislation but now he has to ride to the rescue of Americans (his campaign). But not before making a pit stop interview with (Punky Brewster) Katie Couric. 

So to recap, McCain now gets it that the economy sucks and reversed his position of it being ‘fundamentally strong’. He doesn’t want to debate Obama on Friday because all that rescuing takes sooo much time. This is for our own good because Bush knows better. It’s best that we don’t ask any questions. Or expect anything in return. Poor people have not been mentioned at all because everyone can’t afford to buy a house, a lot of us don’t have jobs and are otherwise being ignored. 
 
I hope McCain decides to really take one for the team and keep his campaign fake-‘suspended’ indefinitely. This is all clearly a burden for him and we should do our part as concerned citizens. GIVE GREAT-GRANDPA SOME WARM MILK AND LET HIM TAKE A NICE LONG NAP. If McLame can’t be bothered to show up for the debate Friday he shouldn’t bother ‘reinstating’ his campaign at all.

Senator Bernie Sanders laid out a nice case for a reality check that I think everyone should review. Keep It Trill blog has been discussing the not-so-secret covert ops angle with AIG and the money being stolen from us. 

It’s up to us to be informed and take action!

**Speaking of action there’s national rallies to stop this bailout being coordinated by Democracy For America, Move On, USAction, ACORN and others. 

**Also just released that McCain messed up all the progress made today by demanding more deregulation and corporate welfare. 

THIS MAN IS NOT FIT FOR POTUS!!!!

Can I Just Say Wow!

I saw this posted over at Black Girls Rock blog and immediately had to have a drink with ice cubes. If these two aren’t dating in real life I suspect their reel life might lend to a modification with a quickness!  The guy is hot, haut, haute and he is certainly enjoying his ‘acting’ assignment. This is why the right kind of erotica is such a visual stimulator and so satisfying!

Making Out Is Legal

President BJ

So Bill Clinton may have gone off script a little bit and slipped by his lukewarm support of Obama while on The View. As you know I said I have that show on permanent girlcott status for my sanity because the hosts have been in violation of objectivity. Later Clinton went on the Letterman and did the same thing. I guess it was pretty freakin’ obvious as Chris Rock has apparently called Bill on his not-so-secret animosity and continued selfishness. Nice! 
Yes we know Hillary could’ve been a contender. Except…..a lot of those votes for her were either for Bill or against Obama…..and those who were supporting her and not white privilege or white woman entitlement couldn’t see fit to help her get rid of her $20M campaign debt….still. Hillary had and still has a few major problems despite her plans for 2012 that she needs to keep in mind.
1. The Clintons have pissed off Black people – especially Black women.
2. Bill.
3. Bill.
4. Lack of transparency with all their ‘shady’ money dealings.
5. Did I mention Bill? 
Bill is worried about his ‘legacy’. Don’t worry it’s intact – for what it’s worth. Bill, you forgot to be “Presidential” and thought you were Hugh Hefner. That would be okay except:
1. You’ve been accused of rape and sexual coercion by numerous women.
2. Hillary trashed all those women by referring to them as trash (so much for sexism).
3. You are MARRIED.
4. This isn’t the 50’s…or the 60’s…or even the 70’s.
5. YOU ARE NOT HUGH HEFNER!!!!!
See you guys didn’t do enough due diligence while you were in office and the ‘Dumbocrats’ were left to fend for themselves against an very organized Rethug onslaught.  It was open season. That capitulation STILL goes on today. It’s why Nancy Pelosi had to take impeachment off the table. Look at all the Dems who rubber-stamped every Bush policy time and time again, though let’s give Dennis Kucinich and Cynthia McKinney props for keeping the idea floating around at least!!
John McCain may be a ‘friend’ of yours but he sure ain’t a friend of mine! His advisor and former Senator Phil Gramm pushed through the first bit of legislation the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act that is causing this latest economic meltdown in 1999. When YOU were in office.  Yeah I got your legacy right here!
I am so tired of your ego, BJ. You are a multi-millionaire many times over. You are not hurting like the rest of us. I know what you really think of me as a voter and thanks for the reality check. I used to listen to the legend and believed the hype. I forgot that history is only retold by the victor and not an accurate account of what really happened. 
I don’t like the double-standards surrounding your sexual escapades but I suppose your behavior was always out there for the world to see. It’s no surprise it blew up in your face.
William Jefferson
Billy Jeff
BJ  –  yup those initials are appropriate for everything it connotes.
Yikes! Has anyone pointed this out to you yet? 
Update at 951pm with video of both Clinton and Rock’s couch time.

Manic Monday!!!

So the stock market’s a-plunging and the Republicans want to jack up the debt to 1.8 Trillion. Thanks Bush!! It’s socialism for the rich. That’s about $8,000 for every man, woman and child in this country and the future grandkids. Plus interest! We’ll always have such fond memories. 
The fighting, the lying and cheating is like a lot of dysfunctional relationships that people (hopefully) outgrow. You meet someone and they seem so nice. You know you can talk to them and they’re just so darn cute! You haven’t dated in awhile. That last person was such a disappointment. You fall – hard. You run off and elope to the horror of your family and friends. 
You have some things in common – so you think. The initial rush is so heady that you ignore the little things. Soon reality starts to kick in. The highs are so high and the lows are waaaay below sea level but you’re invested. You don’t want to admit that your grandma always warned you not to put all your eggs in one basket. Then you realize you may have committed to a psycho…..and you back away very slowly, pack your stuff and jet. And you vow to never do that again!! 
There’s a citizen take back the media effort going on over at The Field worth consideration. I say it’s high time and just the beginning of a people-powered functioning society. We’ve let others make a mess of EVERYTHING so it’s time to accept responsibility for being complacent and complicit.  I say the Associated Press should be the first stop on the “No-BS Train From Gov’t or Corporate Media”
I don’t believe any doomsday racialized polls either. Sure there are plenty of people out there with prejudices. Against skin tone, against age, against economic status, against weight, against free expression and against any belief system or values different than theirs. So effing what!!!! It may make life harder – heck a LOT HARDER for a lot of people. But you know what? The idiots and miserable people of the world will NOT WIN!!! They want everyone to look at the world through a very narrow image so they feel better about themselves. Too bad! Do the internal work necessary, experience some discomfort and come out on the other side a better human being. Or else live in your misery. You can’t have my heart, mind or soul. 

Ok I’m hopping off the soapbox today. I want to go back. Way back to the 1980’s when music was happy and fun and had a good beat and people really sang and played instruments. I’ve been listening to the female group “First Choice” who had a few hits that have been sampled to ad nauseum (because they’re good)! ‘Let No Man Put Asunder‘ and ‘Dr. Love’ were two of the biggest and yes I have them on my media player. Enjoy! 
Dr. Love

Let No Man Put Asunder

What’s Going On In Africa and How It Affects You & Me

So I will start off with saying I am unfamiliar with the political and social goings on in Africa. I must first preface this by adding that Africa is a continent not one country, like the United States is not the sum total of North America. I’m sure the US likes to think of itself as the be all end all of the entire continent AND world – particularly with this administration. You know that Manifest Destiny outlook has been adopted and is still the motivation of every military/political/social/financial aspect this gov’t pursues. 
“Africa” is rarely covered in the news and when it is there are only problems featured. Poverty, war and bloated babies with flies. Oh yeah and let’s not forget rape, AIDs, starvation and an attempt to tie “Islamic fundamentalism” whatever that’s supposed to mean. The continent is actually three times the size of the US, the second biggest continent aside from Asia and has 53 countries. And can we stop using this made-up term “Sub-Sahran” Africa?!! It is soooo annoying and signifies nothing! Just like there is no South Central district in Los Angeles. These are words used by some to connote a specific meaning – usually something steeped in prejudice. Like referring to Obama as elitist or uppity when they just want to use the “N” word instead. 
So why am I ‘unfamiliar’ with Africa? Because the focus of conversation is always from such a biased slant in the US and I can’t trust what we’re being told. Just like I think we’re being sold fake gold with regards to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. And there’s always this push to separate Egypt from the rest of Africa or to claim they’re European because their phenotype is different. If that’s the case then Italy should come and reclaim Argentina because they’re descendants of Italians that speak Spanish, right?
Anyway two things happened this week that gave me pause. One is that Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe ‘decided’ to share power with the opposition party. I have no idea if his candidacy is legit or not. I do know that the US had once supported him and is now backing his political rival. I also know when he took the country back from the UK he kicked out a lot of the whites that had been ‘given’ land. 20% of the white population ‘owned’ 80% of all the land. Colonialism at its worse. Today’s freedom fighter is tomorrow’s terrorist. Pinochet murdered millions of people who dissented to his rule but he was a friend of Thatcher of Reagan. 
I’m not sure if this will make the lives of the people better as the sanctions imposed on the country by the US & UK have kept them lacking in all basic services and food. That doesn’t sound like a democracy that sounds like continued colonialism and punishment for trying to be a sovereign nation. The US nor the UK have any moral standing to dictate to any country about how they rule. Look at Haiti.  
The other event is that South African President Thabo Mbeki has been recalled and will be stepping down before his term ends. Jacob Zuma will be the next President. I’m not sure how much good he has done as head of the ANC but I do know I have some serious reservations. He went to trial for rape. That’s bad enough but the woman, Fereka Kuzwayo was a family friend and is HIV-positive. She requested and was granted asylum in the Netherlands. Zuma was head of the National Aids Council and had unprotected sex despite being aware of her health status. What kind of judgement is that?!!! 
Nelson Mandela will always be held in high regard but he had a real opportunity to affect change when he was released from prison. Yes it was very Christ-like for him to turn the other cheek so to speak and not prosecute de Klerk and all the other white gov’t officials, but I’d like to know if black South Africans feel they got the shaft? Was it another situation like with Civil Rights being focused on integration and not equality?
So I’ve been reading blogs written by African nationals and nobody likes to be thought of as a beggar or needing help. That’s how they feel their entire continent is portrayed and I’d be kinda pissed off about it too. 
So there’s my two cents. I haven’t touched the cultural differences and the rampant woman-hate that exists because quite frankly it is not particular to Africa alone, but it is a factor in the armed conflicts that are still ongoing. I am aware of it and it sickens me and I want it to STOP!
I also haven’t touched on the IMF and World Bank bleeding countries dry and causing a cycle of poverty. It’s implied a few paragraphs up with my continued colonialism argument. Have I missed anything?
We all deserve to have our basic needs met and to lead productive lives. A few moments of inspiration would be nice as well. We who live in the West and are in a position to help. We can get our politicians to draft laws that assist rather than harm. Obama has passed legislation that does that. And he actually said Shrub has done some good with AIDs awareness and treatment. I’d like to get a confirmation of that one from people who live there though. 
There’s organizations like Heifer International that not only give aid but provide resources for people to take care of themselves, particularly women. You know the recent hurricanes have caused so much damage but have hit Haiti really hard and they could use more help. 
**And for pure fun an escapism be sure to watch the Red Carpet events and millionaires wearing their free clothes and borrowed jewels during the Emmy Awards tonight. 

Right now I am not feeling it but I do want to find out if Sookie gets bitten on True Blood tonight!

This Was Supposed to Be A Concert Review

This was just what I needed! As I am fighting fear, outrage and a semi-permanently negative attitude I had to drag myself to the Amel Larrieux show I’d bought a ticket for last month. I seriously have to fight doing one thing daily I can say is ‘productive’ towards my real career and life goals as well as making enough money to survive on and it’s wearing me down. Thriving seems like a luxury right now. 
I’m not sure when I decided to view life through a prism of hardships and difficulties. I remember at age eight declaring I was moving to NYC after high school and attending NYU no matter what. I wanted to be an actress, specifically to do classic theatre (Shakespeare, Moliere) and musical theatre. Yes and because I was a total fashion junkie I had to be a magazine editor. I planned on doing that 9-5 and doing a Broadway show at night. I actually thought I could do that! Youth, huh?
A funny little thing happened on the way to NYC. I didn’t get the lead in a musical my Junior year in high school which was disappointing but it was the rumblings from other students that I’d been passed over because the faculty advisor who auditioned us didn’t want interracial leads that made me realize how challenging the world can be. 
The student that did get the lead gave a cute audition but she could not sing a lick. I was cast as her understudy and I tried to be a trooper and just let it go. The teacher always denied it but I grew up in Buffalo which has placed in the top five of most racist cities in this country consistently for years.  That situation hurt my heart to the core and I remember feeling like I didn’t have any control over my life anymore. Now I also know that my upbringing and family life had something to do with my reaction let’s just say. I’m not going to discuss the details of that but I know I’m prone to being depressed, pessimistic and have a lower threshold for stressful situations because of it. 
College was supposed to be my out and living in NYC was my declaration of independence. My response to that one situation made me falter and I started blowing off my college applications and I just remember feeling like it didn’t matter what I wanted because the deck was not in my favor. I’d been in a gifted program and actually liked school until then. I think that’s a horrible attitude for a kid to have and I see that type of apathy in many today – but theirs is far worse and is often compounded by violence. 
Since then my life has taken many divergent paths. I did go to NYC. I went to a different college and I had to put that on hold for a time due to finances and got so angry about everything that I joined a cult. I didn’t realize it at the time. I left the cult and felt I couldn’t leave my house without fearing a lighting bolt from a vengeful god had my name on it. I still pursued acting and moved to Los Angeles, then back to NYC. Then to Toronto and back to Los Angeles. Then to San Francisco. Then a detour in London and back to San Francisco. 
I’ve tried to live a full life and still pursue creative endeavors. I’ve skipped a lot but suffice it to say, I still want to make a living at performing and I LOVE to travel. I want to get married and have at least one biological child and adopt a child. I want to be comfortable. Hey, gotta put it out there!!
Now I want to declare to the world that I know I need to be positive which I haven’t done in a long time and I want to change it. It finally clicked that being ‘realistic’ may not be the way to go. Some of it’s external forces I have no control over and I want to be able to recognize that. The rest is up to me however. I am way too hard on myself and it just paralyzes me from doing the things I know I can accomplish.
I have always been a big dreamer even when most people in my family would not encourage or support it. Any roadblock or setback is met with this “when are you going to move on and get a ‘real’ life” or “you’re not getting any younger don’t you think you should…”. I needed real solid guidance and a Plan A, Plan B-G apparently which I’ve learned over the years through trial and error. But I wanted to be able to say I made it and I made it on my own terms. I never wanted to rely on being ‘rescued’ or having to allign myself with a man. Let’s be clear I’m not talking about a mutually respectful and loving relationship. I’m talking about the wealthy and connected men that like to hook up with younger less worldly women in exchange for money and access. I had offers to be the ‘professional’ mistress of a few older wealthy men and even a lesbian who knew I was not! 
A lot of times women don’t even get these offers and are instead treated far worse. Hence the prevalence of women turning to the porn industry because it’s so lucrative financially speaking but destroys their souls that much faster. The ease with which some people can barter their bodies, time and youth and innocence just to get ahead has always astounded me. I couldn’t do it. No matter how tempting it was. I thought it was due to religious beliefs but I think it’s way deeper than that. It was my value system. They are not mutually exclusive – at least I don’t think so. 
Phew! I guess I had to get that out. One of these days I’m going to come back and scrub this blog clean. No archives, nothing!! But the universe listens according to some very successful people. If they can work through their hardships then I’ll be damned if I can’t work through mine!
So back to Amel. She comes to the Bay Area every year now to play Yoshi’s. Her show was so good and REAL. People brought their children. I don’t think I can recall one concert of contemporary music where so many kids were present. I’m talking one mom had her two year old and Amel noticed her from the stage and the baby waved back and said hello! It was soooo cute. There was a ten year old who’s birthday was today and they had a conversation about her earrings. I even saw two twelve year old boys in dinner jackets and slacks.
Amel had a little trouble with adjusting her mic stand and admitted she hadn’t done a sound check. And the bass player was getting a lot of feedback from his amp. So I was going to be critical about that because that’s ‘Professional Singer 101’ to do a sound check. But she won me over in the end. It reminded me we are not perfect even if the cake didn’t rise all the way it still tastes good! 
I know I’m not the average concert attendee. I’m looking at it from a different perspective. I’m split – because I want to enjoy it but I’m analyzing song selection, length of songs, band rapport, the stage show, pacing and audience response. You know stuff I’d want to do with my own show. So…. it was all really really good. She shared a lot of personal stories as well like bonding with her daughters over Project Runway. She had a really great interlude where she danced with her backup singer and the band slid into an Afro-Beat section. And she closed with her first solo single and the Groove Theory song that had a lot of women leaping out of their seats to dance in the aisle. It was a renewal of my spirit. Thanks Amel! 
And onward I go…..