In Honor Of New York And London Fashion Week: Recognizing & Affirming Our Beauty

I missed Tedx talk when pioneering black beauty blogger Afrobella first spoke. Lately, I’ve been inspired to do a complete overhaul of my wardrobe. I have to take a moment to recognize the joys and pitfalls of online shopping when you can’t find styles that suit your tastes. The same can be said for online dating! I’ve also been feeling frustrated by what I see when I look in the mirror because I want photo-shopped perfection. I had lost a good amount of weight three years ago by severely restricting my caloric intake and only eating certain foods. When I hit a plateau, the scale would not budge and my narrow lane of food intake rebelled against my foodie-loving tendencies.  Lifestyle choices take time, so I’ve had to readjust my expectations and call a truce with myself even while eyeing a goal.

I’m the type of person who falls into an over-analyzing abyss and has to silence a harsh inner critic. I’ve recently experienced a break-through in terms of my outlook. While, it is true we need to be healthier and keep ourselves in proportion, telling yourself everything about your existence is “wrong” until you achieve certain goals is not the way to be “right”. The journey is just that…a journey. Not a sprint. Not a click your heels and throw some pixie dust jaunt without taking that mile-long trip to discovering you.

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I Saw This Inspirational Video And Thought, "Wow"!

Take a look a this and be encouraged.

Evaluating Men For Alliances & Marriage Series: Get Your Sexy On!

Lois and Clark getting a little friendlier…..

It’s been a minute or two since I’ve added a new installment to this series, but this was an opportune moment. In other words, I really needed to have something to say! While posts at the main site vary in frequency, you can always find daily conversation at Twitter or Facebook.

Despite some of the more recent upsetting current events, we must keep moving forward. I say this as much for myself as for all of you, that we have to find a way past obstacles and see the best outcomes for ourselves. That’s not easy.

So, after reminding women to be women and stop feeling obligated to be good little soldiers lined up on the battlefields only to be knocked down, reacquaint yourself with your va-va-voom. And you can’t get your sexy on while feeling or being under siege.

Repeat after me: Men Must Rescue Themselves.

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The Intersection of Achievement, Success and Failure

This is going to be a stream of conscious post. I’m just too tired to make it pretty for you today and I need a media break from all of the chaos from the past few days.

I’m trying to figure out the short version of how to say this: for some of us, if we don’t have the framework to make the changes we want I’m not entirely convinced we can successfully apply BWE (or sustain any forward motion). And I’m not talking about lack of understanding or not trying. I’m talking about external circumstances ripping things apart no matter what we do. That no affirmation or plan of action or discussion or desire to do it can make it happen. That we were just screwed early on in life or left without proper resources that we cannot ever catch up. Like, no matter what.

Which flies in the face of the idea that we can take responsibility, change our mentality and create a better life for ourselves. I’m thinking that may work for some people, but it’s not guaranteed for most of us. It’s like trying to live with a disease that you can’t rid of like HIV (passed on as a kid) or something. You might be able to “manage” it with drug therapy and other stop-gap measures so it doesn’t progress and kill you, but you’re still sick.

YOU didn’t do it, something was done to you and you can’t ever get away from it in its entirety. And I guess that’s also how clinical depression works. It’s like a pebble in your shoe. Sometimes you can deal with the discomfort, sometimes it wipes you out and sometimes you can ignore it completely, but it’s always there ready to mess your life up. Ferguson. Robin Williams’ suicide – and the reaction from people who are not his family.

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For The Uninformed, This Is What 'Natural' Hair Looked Like Before The 'Curly' Infiltration aka "New Black" Took Over

Before the latest anti-black dysfunction adopted by many black people who have not worked through their color racism and hair texture discrimination, was slapped on top of the current “natural hair” phenom encouraging black women to embrace the hair that grows out of their scalps and it became all about achieving loose waves and ringlets, there was this:

Vintage Afro Sheen ad

Look! Hair that looks shiny, moisturized with no dry ends or single strand snarls!

AND NOT A MANUFACTURED CURL PATTERN IN SIGHT.

It’s an A-F-R-O.

Just a hairstyle…..

The ONLY act of militancy from wearing a legitimate afro TODAY is doing so in the midst of BLACK PEOPLE!

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Inspirational Quotes Series: Zora Neale Hurston

“I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. I do not mind at all. I do not belong to the sobbing school of Negrohood who hold that nature somehow has given them a lowdown dirty deal and whose feelings are all hurt about it. Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less. No, I do not weep at the world—I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife.” 

Zora Neale Hurston

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Remembering Dr. Maya Angelou

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

Maya Angelou

 

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Inspirational Quotes Series: Rosalind Russell

The Vortex Of Coonery Strikes Again: Black Women & Rape Jokes Are Not Funny

 

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL FOR ANYTHING

For months there was a bit of a public shaming attempt at getting SNL creator Lorne Michaels to hire a black woman comic. It had been a number of years since the cast reflected the diversity of the country and one of the black male comics didn’t want to perform female characters in drag anymore. SMH. I was very wary about SNL hiring a random black comedienne with no parameters. Not to mention that SNL was never that diverse, especially compared to other sketch comedy shows like Mad TV (see Deborah Wilson for the level of quality SNL “could not find”). I tuned the show out years ago given I was NOT represented – and if we’re going to give an honest evaluation – when were black women really represented well there?

With much fanfare, SNL announced they were adding a new black woman writer AND performer. A two-fer!! Call me unimpressed, as their recent additions weren’t going to compel me to automatically start watching. Behind the scenes talk had indicated SNL had auditioned numerous funny ladies for several years but would ignore them when it came to making a hiring decision. There was even some intentional deflection and insulting speculation (by the performing dummy in drag) that black women were somehow not qualified! Given that sense of disdain and the poor quality of the black male talent they have on the show, I’m not sure they want stellar talent since the attention could serve as a launching pad to an enterprising performer.

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Inspirational Quotes Series: Tony Robbins 2