You were a bloated, overwrought spectacle where certain people of privilege got to be self-congratulatory but I can’t quit you (yet) Oscar! I didn’t have any cocktails during the broadcast this year so maybe it’s always been this dull. Far too many of the actresses failed to deliver in the fashion department this year and I’m not exactly sure why. Their hair and makeup was messy and unflattering too. I should be on one of those post-awards fashion opinion shows!
Mo’Nique
Mo’Nique has been nominated for a slew of awards for her role as the abusive mother in the movie Precious, based on the book by Sapphire. I have not pulled any punches about why such a film is denigrating. This is just the type of film Hollywood supports for its portrayal of blacks as troubled, problematic and damaged. She is being rewarded for playing a monster. Not to mention how many of those involved in making and promoting the film grew up environments where sexual abuse, physical abuse and abandonment were the norm. They also have a vested interest in reinforcing what they are used to as such trauma shifts your entire perspective, particularly if it has been unexamined or unresolved. Yet despite all of the negatives I will be happy for her Oscar win for Best Supporting Actress. My only hope is that a new page may be turned and doors that lead to the light will be flung open. This is a golden opportunity for those who wish to tell more well-rounded stories of normal behavior applicable to blacks can take center stage. Plus it was nice to see Mo’Nique use her inside voice for a change and give a heartfelt speech.
This is a scene from the 1995 film, “The American President” speaking about leadership. I can’t believe I’ve never seen this film before. President Shepard is a widower dating a woman who’s a lobbyist at a pivotal time during his reelection campaign. It is causing some discomfort amongst his staff . His refusal to address his opponent (who has made it a “family values” issue) is bringing his numbers down. How much of this rings a bell to what’s going on with this Administration?
I found this video by author Marianne Williamson. You may or may not be immediately familiar with her name but one of her most famous quotes has been on the tip of the cultural lexicon for quite some time. From her book, A Return To Love:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
March is Women’s History Month. As much as I like to look back at women who blazed trials I also want newer generations to continue that tradition in elevating the status of cis and trans women. Now I write about many topics one of which explores ways black women (and others for the basic concepts) can reexamine their thinking and perspectives to make informed choices. That’s empowerment and while it may manifest itself in different ways to me, you and her there are some core concepts that must be embraced. One of them is freedom in determining gender identity and orientation. Another is peace of mind from dead concepts which many have been indoctrinated with. Reproductive rights are constantly under attack. It’s not just about the right to choose but about the quality of life for the lives you may or may not bring into this world. It’s about being able to express yourself as a sexual being without being coerced, under duress or without knowledge of boundaries. It’s about not being violated or used. It’s about having self-esteem and knowing how to choose a good mate. It’s about not feeling desperate and lonely that you settle for the lowest of low. It’s about being free to say no. It’s about having plenty of options that are all good for you. It’s about removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances if they have presented themselves as obstacles to your continued progress. Autonomy in our relationships: with ourselves and external connections (be they personal or professional) will make or break us.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted an OSF clip. There was a hiatus for the meme originators and then things fell off for a bit. So it’s nice to be back. This week’s motto is: “If I Could Sing I’d Want to Sound Like…”
As a cis woman who’s a soprano I’m always fascinated by males who can sing falsetto in the tenor range 2-3 octaves above their base register. Not to mention we have individual quirks to our voices and no two people will sound exactly the same even if they are singing the same note.
Here we have Clair Huxtable the now-iconic image of upper-middle class African-American motherhood. Some rejected the idea that there were black women like Claire in real life and insisted she was a figment of someone’s imagination.
Here we have Mary Lee Johnston the egg donor of Precious, a character who is embraced as gritty and authentic. The actress that portrayed her has been given numerous accolades and won prestigious acting awards.
Clair is well-adjusted, educated, physically fit, demure, intelligent, accomplished, cultured, married and a mother. She is loved and supported.
Mary is none of the above even though she has given birth to a daughter.
One woman is supposed to be fantasy while the other one represents a “realism” many feel comfortable with. Why is that?
It seems that some people ACTUALLY think we’re living in a post-racial world and somehow we’re in remission from this disease of racism in this country.
WAKE UP!
Whether it’s inter-, intra-, gender, religious, nationality, orientation, class or ideology based Racism is defined as:
1.
a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2.
a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3.
hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
Racism, as all isms go never completely goes away for it is a condition of moral decay, spiritual deficiency and part of imperfect human nature. What has changed is in recognizing the isms as well as societal policing of certain behaviors that manifest themselves from those thoughts. Whether there are negative ramifications for violating terms and standards of such behavior is what matters. The problem lies when people attempt to qualify or justify such behavior, weighing its evil and seeking to diminish its impact or the extent of how far it goes. Some of the excuses are having a friend/relative/sex partner, presuming you can’t learn anything or having faulty thinking and assumptions about the experiences of others. Sometimes it’s best to be quiet and listen! I read this post about Defining Racism that I thought was interesting but still focused on it from an outsider vs. insider perspective.
It must be a slow news month or some arrestedly-developed, marginally successful, cultural-appropriating, insecure serial dater is trying to drum up a little controversy to be relevant.
John Mayer gave an interview in the March 2010 Playboy where he discussed his career, interpersonal sexual politics and his 2010 goals: …to get more mentions in Us Weekly than ever. I got the sense that he may feel intensely for some but is still disconnected from women..and reality. The point of this post isn’t to analyze his psyche. Amongst the other gems he claimed his genitals only respond to women based on race. Yup, he threw most black women under the bus. Except for three. Oh yeah and in a case of “irony” he used the ‘N’ word to discuss his hood pass and why he he’s so revered by blacks. I think he’s adopted the anti-black woman attitudes and general misogyny of his rap “artist” friends. I found myself agreeing with his assessment that but not the way he deconstructed it. All black people don’t live in da hood.
He made an off-hand comment about David Duke as an afterthought. Duke is one of the most virulent terrorists allowed to operate in the United States who was a Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan and later parlayed that white supremacist support into political office. Think Hitler-lite. Or Teabagger 2010. Duke is like may racists who also claim to hate blacks so much but always want to have sex with black women. They don’t protest a little too much. So Mayer’s example was a bit off in fact but clearly he’s not using his brain. He also publicly trashed some of the better known women he’s dated because you know…that fame monster is a BEAST!
I have two words for you: Justin Timbersnake er Timberfake er TIMBERLAKE.
The First Lady of South Carolina got mad and she isn’t gonna take it anymore! Rah rah sisterhood! Even I initially wrote about how pleased I was to see a political wife publicly take a stand against suffering in silence at her husband’s serial philandering. Now…I’m not so sure Mrs. Sanford deserves such accolades. While her husband’s political clout sinks further Jenny is taking the high road – or so she claims. It’s for the sake of the children. They get along just fine. Blah blah blah.
I look at the contrast of race, class and money and see glaring disparities between the warm embrace one woman of privilege is receiving versus a poorer non-white woman for their lives. Whereas some black women are immediately castigated for “making bad choices” when it comes to partners and certain immigrant women “shouldn’t be here anyway” why is it that Jenny Sanford gets off scott free for taking any responsibility for her poor choices? I’ve watched her admit on national television that her husband removed key vows of fidelity when they got married that would indicate he had no intention of adhering to it. So why be surprised or get angry when he violated them? To say it raised a red flag is an understatement. Jenny Sanford has bent herself into an pretzel to justify this. I think she was willing to tolerate infidelity as long as it was women who didn’t pose a serious threat to the status quo. Mark Sanford choosing to love a woman who wasn’t his wife was the deal-breaker.
As many of you know I’ve slowed down my daily blogging to focus on other areas of my life. Despite my desire to pull as many women out of the black community Matrix as possible self-care must come first. I also don’t want to sacrifice content quality for quantity so I write when I think it’s necessary. I am considering various options including a group format. What’s great is the fact that I have the choice to do these things and the ability to reach so many people. We have far more freedom than we realize – even in this economy. I’ve been researching various scholarships, grants, creative workshops and free or low-cost training that I can participate in. There’s a lot of opportunities available if you’re willing to complete applications and meet deadlines. Sometimes pulling back actually helps clarify our true focus. Since it’s Black History Month I’m of course thinking about the contributions of black women or those whose actions were of benefit to us.
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